October 8, 2014
I do not know what to say any more – I felt like whatever I thought so far, I put in writing.
Though it is possible that if I had written more, I could have discovered more. Said more. I just cannot continue.
January 26, 2013
My doctor is optimistic; she says I will be fine at no time. It came back, so what? I am not worried, I have done this before. Yet, I know as soon as I step out of the door, I will start crying. Because it feels unfair.
The first days are complete shock. Being told that you are sick and need immediate medical care is….weird or something…..Its meaning is so thick, so heavy; reality does not sink for some time.
After that, it changes you though. Priorities change for one; I do not care about work that much for example; it does not fill in my entire mind or future worries. No. Neither the fences that I was planning to paint nowadays. I do not care. Let them rot. I hope though I will not lose my job along the way; I need the insurance and the salary. That is the most critical thing I need to keep now.
Will I need someone to care for me at home? Will I be able to find someone to do so? Can I afford it? Who will shop or cook for me? Will I be able to find any friends around me?
But no; let’s not think about these yet.
The life in the diary – I
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