I kept mentioning house and work related issues I have.
these are actually potentially serious issues, but I am at “watch and see how they will develop as long as you do not run away from them and get opinions from others”. For some of the issues, waiting mean to see whether the issue will get worse, which will require action (such as a significant repair at home). I have been doing that; I am keeping an eye on the crack on one of my walls – whether it is a foundational issue or a regular “expansion” thing that happens when the weather gets warmer is not known. Wishful watching is the current recommendation, which I am doing everyday. If I detect that the crack is getting worse, I know who to call to get the repairs started.
Some work-related issues need the involvement and expert opinion of others, which I have sought already. Some of these issues are because of me not knowing every single detail, which now can impact the projects. I am not blaming myself for not knowing these; I did my best when I started the projects. I am a meticulous person and would not miss not even one possibility of risk. Sometimes I just do because I am not aware of them. That is an example of such a situation. There may be consequences to me, my work, and other people working with me and I will take the responsibility, but I am hoping it will not go in there and we will be able to resolve and fix the issues.
I kind of am amazed by myself that in the midst of all these issues, I keep calm. I am not sure what causes this unexpected but welcome mental calmness. Under different situations, I would think I would feel crashed. I am grateful that I am not feeling this way. Certainly something to be very happy and appreciative of.
I only today thought that these issues and how I reacted to them are actually great preparations for my future issues and projects. This gives me confidence. I am working on a big project that will be a huge responsibility more than any other undertakings of mine and I was thinking “how am I going to deal with this responsibility, knowing how antsy and meticulous I am (being meticulous means I consider many different details at a level that maybe majority of my colleagues would not, and consider all the risks and gaps, which naturally cause anxiety and mood swings)”.
Now I feel like I can handle things; if I can handle my current issues then I can handle the future ones. Keeping finger crossed. Keeping positive.