This is kinda philosophical post – bear with me.
I sometimes find myself smashed by the issues and hurdles in life. Take my house problem for example – I probably have a foundation problem, which requires me to wait till it becomes apparent and which will cost me “tens of thousands”.
I find myself checking my home every day and paying attention to any sound, anything abnormal, or any change. When I wake up the same, when I go to bed the same. I have never been happy to be a home-owner and lately certainly I regret buying a house (building yourself is better, or buying a new house with a warranty; assuming they are more expensive but it is worth the peace of mind). I feel unhappy and troubled in my home.
Is this the feeling you would like to have in your home? I can hear you say “no”.
Home is supposed to be where we have our warmest, healing, resting, and energizing memories.
I keep thinking the previous owners and the renovators were not good, not honest (the house was newly renovated when I bought it). They probably knew it and could fix it, but did not. That makes me feel like “played with” and quite irritated. It is unfair. if they were honest people, I had believed they were honest people, and there was nothing to blame them, then I would probably take this a little bit easier.
Acceptance is a hard thing; but once it happens, it is relieving. Accepting that I was supposed to go through this is one thing I need to work on.
I majority of the time resist and thus it majority of the time hurts.
I think I was just supposed to go thru this experience. Pretty much like anything else in our lives. They say we learn something along the troubled times and it is supposed to be useful in the future.
I keep wondering what that might be.