made a decision


I had made this decision many times before but I guess lately I had become okay with the status quo because of the stability of my job here.

My decision is to leave here and move somewhere else.

I am tired of rowing against the current, which is ignorant and insensitive to the efforts I put in.

This current would be my job environment.

I have a great job but I also time to time talk about the stress it creates on me and its challenges. I also rant about lack of diversity and not being from here (thus being stereotyped or discriminated) time to time.

Hence, 2 + 2 and I decided it is not right to continue a life somewhere that does not excite me.

More importantly, it is not right to not put an effort to enrich and make my life better.

It is not right to live and work somewhere where people still think less of me because I am not from here. Even though I do so well. But who cares about the quality and quantity of the work I do while I am (according to them) less worthy?

F. that.

Of course I have triggers. My dad’s death two weeks ago (sometimes, I cannot believe in this…) and how he would like me to be happy. How I resented about focusing so much of work and neglecting my family and myself. And an event here today about work which told me once more how superficial a lot of things here are and no matter what I am capable of or proposing, it would not go thru and make a positive difference in people’s life. So what is all of these struggle, boredom, hard-work, and efforts are for?

Time for me to care about myself and make myself a priority. Not the job. Not this place and this job, no matter how much I love working.

Gotta start looking for jobs somewhere.

I am kind of thinking that it would be better for me if I just give a resignation notice. I believe I can give a notice upto a year before. I am crazy (or fed up) enough to do this, yet I should not do this before I find another job. After all, I have a good salary here…

Boy, I so hope that I will not chicken out and over turn this decision once more. I must put the effort to move somewhere else, hopefully a much better, warmer, diverse, and reasonable place.

Wish me luck

 

 

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13 thoughts on “made a decision

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  1. this is something many wish they could do but are afraid to. Some call it a mini retirement. Maybe take a leave of absence.When we get old we regret not doing the things we wanted to but never did, more than our mistakes. What.ever you wish, good luck

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I am at this exact point in my career but I have already moved so many times that I am going to try a new job as well. Working at a career is also working at self-worth, and escaping a bad situation is self-preservation.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Much luck in finding that job. It’s kind of nerve racking to get a new job and relocate (or retire and relocate) but to find what you want it is worth it and then you can bloom where you are planted!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t know you but life is too short to be unhappy. Sadly, death puts things in perspective. I am so sorry for your loss, I don’t know what I would do without my dad. But I know my dad would want me to be happy as I am sure yours does. Good luck!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thanks for the kinds words – they means a lot to me. yes life is too short to be unhappy and my dad would like me to be happy. while i am still alive, I gotta fix this; i do not want to find myself at old, old age and then feel resentful that I did not try things that would make me excited while I had a chance. people say that it is not our circumstances but our inner world that determines whether we can be happy. I really would like to believe in this 🙂

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