we do not have to forget, but we can forgive

Rob Ford, an ex-mayor of Toronto has died today after an 18-months of cancer treatment.

Rob Ford was an unconventional politician, often with many unacceptable behavior (e.g. racism and misogyny) and drug use. Many people loved him, many made jokes about him, and many certainly disliked him.

When I learnt about his death this evening, I felt sorry; May he rest in peace. He has lost his life, and his family and friends are in sorrow now (and will likely to feel his loss for the rest of their lives). I hope, they too can find some kind of peace in their hearts and in their memories.

I keep seeing posts here and there that he was a horrible person and thus does not deserve our mourning or whatsoever. I understand that they say so because of his highly annoying behavior and there is some kind of truth that we do not have to paint his memory in a way that is different than his life (i.e. death does not make a bad person a good person).

But, I keep thinking – death is a lonely journey. It makes somehow a lot of things, a lot of emotions unnecessary. We do not have to forget the wrongs he has done, but at least we can forgive him.



I am not saying forgiveness is easy or should be exercised/enforced no matter what. I understand that it is very difficult to forgive the negative consequences of some people and their actions on other people, and the suffering they have caused. I cannot say whether one should choose to forgive or whether one should forgive at all. But I am hoping that we all can give it a try.



8 thoughts on “we do not have to forget, but we can forgive

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  1. I’ve had so many mixed feelings about this. His interviews, racism, homophobia and general bullying made me so uncomfortable.
    I think we should be respectful But I’m concerned when I see people trying to brush his nastiness under the proverbial rug because he has died.
    I feel that people aren’t interested in forgiving rather they want to forget. I think it’s healthy to forgive but think forgetting the type of person who was elected as mayor is dangerous.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. you are the second person I know that said the exact same thing about him; that some may be brushing his nastiness because he now is dead. I find this interesting; i also find what you said about forgetting and forgiveness very interesting. I was not easy to forgive myself, but when I realize we all are doomed to die (which is sad), I easily can. There has been a transformation in me lately I guess. and I agree with you that the politics and the voter preferences are interesting. Look at the US GOP nowadays. Human is human everywhere I guess..

      Liked by 1 person

        1. oopps 🙂 it seems I have mis-expressed myself. I am not good at forgiving myself (something I need to work on… hmmm). what I meant above is that it was not easy for me to forgive others, but it is easier for me now. Now I gotta work on forgiving myself 🙂 cheers!

          Liked by 1 person

  2. I have a lot of respect for the dead no matter what. I agree it is a very lonely journey. It makes me sad when someone dies. I also don’t believe in the death penalty. I am totally against it. I just feel death is the ultimate sad experience we are going to go through and it is heavy enough to realize that. Once a person dies, what good does it do to beat them up some more? So yes, I agree with your post. Even if we don’t forgive or forget, we should at least do what’s human — to be kind. To be empathetic of other people’s painful situations.

    I hope you are doing well these days. xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. kindness is the heart of everything, is it not? I with each passing year become more and more awed by kindness.. and thanks for asking and I am doing a little bit better nowadays. I hope you are good too? is spring there yet? I kind of think it must be there – enjoy it Rebecca 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s sort of Spring here in NY although we got snow the first day of. I love Spring. I love summer too. I am glad you are feeling better. I am taking one day at a time. Dealing with a challenging situation at work (they re-organized our dept. and changed our roles!). All we can do is try. And yes, kindness is the heart of everything.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. snow the first day! ah.. we have snow now and we will likely have it till late May, lol! but it already feels different now that the days are longer and there is hope in the air. I know once march is over, it will transition into better weather. Springs, summer, and fall are my favorites! we have amazing falls here (that is how I come to love falls actually). well good luck with your new position; I am sure after a while you will be just fine adapting to the change well. taking one day at a time is great; I should do that myself. starting tomorrow 🙂


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