Since I do not know how to make myself happy, I turned into the internet for information about happiness.

There are a number of sites; some of them makes sense, some of them absolutely nonsense (those that put the entire responsibility of your unhappiness on your own shoulder. As if nothing else can influence, diminish, or generate it).

Anyways, following happiness tips are the ones that I remember now:

  • Live a simple life
  • Help others
  • Aim for less
  • Be kind to yourself
  • Forgive more
  • Be positive
  • Control your mental chatter
  • Exercise
  • Socialize
  • Meditate
  • Find meaning in what you do
  • Breathe
  • Eat well

bla bla bla bla…

So boring.

I can tell from my own experience some of these do not make people happy unless they really need it (e.g. eating well).

Exercise is great, can make one feel better, but does that mean we need to exercise all the time?

Meditation is not for everyone.

We all have some meaning in whatever we do; whether it is our job, cooking for others, or caring and helping others.

Socializing is great but only with the right people.

Forgiving is great but it does not help if your unhappiness is not caused by old issues and scars.

I live a simple life and I breathe and I am trying to be kind to myself and help others. And yet, I am not happy.

Three of these may help me relax more, though; being positive, aiming for less, and controlling my mental chatter. As a perfectionist and realist, these can really help subsidize my mental anguish.

Yet, I have been aware of these quite some time and so far I was not able to make myself happy. So maybe it is the time that I ask my doctor to prescribe me an anti-depressant. Perhaps I too have a chemical imbalance, which unless restored by medication will continue to make me unhappy.

Every one deserves to be happy. So do I.


11 thoughts on “happiness

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  1. Unhappiness will cause a chemical imbalance. Drugs will cover up the symptoms, but unless happiness is found the imbalance will persist.
    Others don’t make us happy or unhappy. It is the way we view life that creates happiness. Every moment is an opportunity to garner truth about life, whether we are going through good times or bad times. If we find this and understand how it works, we will forever be happy.


      1. Like “I” say… it is how we choose to respond to each moment that makes us happy.
        If we respond to someone who is trying to help us with anger, we are creating our own unhappiness. If we choose to realize someone is reaching out and cares, we are creating our own happiness.
        The finest and fastest way to be happy is to live in such a way that it makes others happy.
        Our happy is not our own. It is shared.


        1. wow…. so I am to be blamed for my reaction to you reaching out to me in a way that I do not agree? ok – I see.

          I want to ask you though; what if I tell you that I make other people happy but I am still not happy myself.

          what if the definition of happiness may not be one, but many,.what if happiness means something else for some people? how do we reach them? how do we care them?

          sometimes we must accept that we do not have all the answers and we cannot get everyone’s circumstances. in those cases, empathy has the softest voice, silence has the sweetest tune……

          Liked by 1 person

  2. You have to think about what you love and what makes you happy. I have been struggling in that department lately. All i know is that coffee actually makes me happy and I do my best to enjoy a coffee every day. Its not enough- but sometimes it helps 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love coffee too! my best moments of the day is when I have my coffee. I love many things and many people. But my unhappiness and sadness is deep; sometimes I can handle it by focusing on the beautiful things/people/experiences in my life. but overall I am not a happy person… one of these episodes of unhappiness, that is it.


  3. I think part of finding happiness in life is perspective – most specifically, realizing all the blessings we have and being thankful for them! Of course, this is easy for me to say now because I am happy and my life situation is a good one – there’s nothing big to complain about. Just realizing how lucky I am to have a great family, an awesome husband, a house to call my own, my dog, good health, etc., makes it easier to be happy! Thinking back to the times when I was unhappy, I’d say a lot of it stemmed from stress and situational factors (e.g. Toxic work environment.) I’m not the best in handling stress but since there was nothing I could do to improve the work environment, I did not regain my happiness until I quit.

    Of course this is all relating to feelings of happiness and contentment in life – it doesn’t include depression. I don’t think you can just get a new perspective and get rid of real clinical depression.

    Another thing I’ve heard (which I’ve yet to be able to practice regularly in my own life) is living for a purpose greater than ourselves – you know, getting involved in our societies, giving back to our communities. I’d love to be able to volunteer in a way that feels like I’m making a difference in society and I think that would help enrich my life even more. However, with my sleep disorder, I can be very selfish with my time and very non-committal to ongoing events because I never know when I’ll just need a nap.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you Ulyana for this insightful comment. I guess you very well summarized the circumstances around happiness. I too am grateful for my family, my work (which is very meaningful with long lasting effects and presumably helping many people), my finances (which are good, though I am worried about my retirement), I am physically healthy and I lack nothing material in life.

      I am away from my family and I do not have a great social support around myself here. I suspect that this is making a (negative) difference in my life. But, more importantly your comment made me realize that I might be clinically depressed. After all I have everything I need in life and I practice gratitude. yet, the inner and natural joy and zest for life are not there. I know I find myself in such depressive moods time to time and I am not worried that it is gonna last too long, but even when I feel good other times, happiness is not something that I can easily find, attain, or feel. That is why i guess seeing a doctor about it is now a good idea, I honestly long for feeling happy (which I had felt only twice in my entire life for extended periods of time (like 2-7 months each case))

      thanks again and you take care of yourself. I hope your sleep troubles are not too serious.


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