I wake up early this morning with lots of thoughts an annoyance in my mind. As being a regular night bird, the early morning hours of course are interesting for me. There is little sound, it is peaceful, but I just do not know what to do as it does not fit my routine. Maybe I will go out to get a cup of coffee.
Since I do not like how I feel (e.g. pressure, not feeling good about myself or others, stress, etc.) I am looking for the causes of these feelings and then to remove them from my life. I decided that perhaps I was too ambitious. perhaps my comfort zone was better for me; where daily life goes on good and without event, I have a routine and it works, and work goes satisfactory.
This kind of a life and serenity leave room for energy and efforts to do better in all aspects of life. I realized I have been pushing my efforts towards the work, but not necessarily my personal life.
I imagined this morning how my future would be and I kind of get scared.
Honestly I have no idea how my future looks. It is blank.
It is likely that I will end up being alone in my old age, possibly need social and medical care, and will need financial security to help being cared.
I am doing my best to ensure my financial future – as long as I keep my work, I am okay.
I should, however, get a healthier life-style; from diet to exercise to better everything. That is a must.
Seeing the future as blank….This was a scary thought at the beginning but then blank can be actually good. Why do I not try to make it better then? Fill with a better life, emotions, memories, joy, and health?
Work is one part of my life and it is time that it takes a much less space in my mind and leaves more room for my own well being and function as a human.