wish for a better future

I wake up early this morning with lots of thoughts an annoyance in my mind. As being a regular night bird, the early morning hours of course are interesting for me. There is little sound, it is peaceful, but I just do not know what to do as it does not fit my routine. Maybe I will go out to get a cup of coffee.

Since I do not like how I feel (e.g. pressure, not feeling good about myself or others, stress, etc.) I am looking for the causes of these feelings and then to remove them from my life. I decided that perhaps I was too ambitious. perhaps my comfort zone was better for me; where daily life goes on good and without event, I have a routine and it works, and work goes satisfactory.

This kind of a life and serenity leave room for energy and efforts to do better in all aspects of life. I realized I have been pushing my efforts towards the work, but not necessarily my personal life.

I imagined this morning how my future would be and I kind of get scared.

Honestly I have no idea how my future looks. It is blank.

It is likely that I will end up being alone in my old age, possibly need social and medical care, and will need financial security to help being cared.

I am doing my best to ensure my financial future – as long as I keep my work, I am okay.

I should, however, get a healthier life-style; from diet to exercise to better everything. That is a must.

Seeing the future as blank….This was a scary thought at the beginning but then blank can be actually good. Why do I not try to make it better then? Fill with a better life, emotions, memories, joy, and health?

Work is one part of my life and it is time that it takes a much less space in my mind and leaves more room for my own well being and function as a human.

10 thoughts on “wish for a better future

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  1. Everyone is ultimately alone in their own age. There are no guarantees. In marriage women more often then not end up widowed, and children aren’t always there as adults. I too am single, but I tend to be happier that way. I had a great example growing up. My aunt never married or had children and she is one of the happiest people I know. She told me the trick is surrounding yourself with friends who are of like mind. As I am more of an introvert, I struggle to get myself out there at times, but I keep pushing myself. Keep pushing my friend. I wish you all of the happiness in the world. 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

    1. I loved the canvas and painter analogy – many thanks for this 🙂 each coin has two faces and switching negative and positive is sometimes easy sometimes difficult. my negative feelings are diminishing today, which is a good sign. I sure will take whatever lessons I must learn and move on 🙂


    1. thank you very much :)it is always great to know one is not the only one going thru a phase or issue. i feel strong and independent, and I love being what I am, too. it is just sometimes overwhelming to think that there may not be enough support in my future and I may end up in a situation that I would not desire. nevertheless, the big picture is that we will deal with it then 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. and now is so peaceful 🙂 yet I keep thinking about possible future risks and try to get preventive measures and stress myself a long the way. somewhere in my past I must have been startled with something I have not thought about, which I believe is making me very cautious about the future events 🙂


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