No, not in a way that it becomes the entire focus of my life.
No, not in a way that I would do anything to have it or keep it.
No, not in a way that I would sacrifice the quality of my life, well being, safety, or security.
I love my money in a way that I would like to see it in my chequing account and not getting crazy about not having enough money because I am so interested in investing it for my future or paying my mortgage early.
There, I said it.
Watching my chequing account and trying hard, very hard, to see it not dropping to a negative level is getting on my nerves.
I have had negative balance starting three years ago till last December (when it was finally positive). I like it being positive. I like it growing every paycheque. I like using it to contribute to my RRSP, HBP payments, TFSA, and a personal retirement plan. But since all of these are significant contributions (totaling around 20K each year), certainly coming up with these amount of money is a significant commitment and effort on my side.
Do not get me wrong; I love saving, being frugal, finding ways to limit spending and waste, and help secure my future.
What I do not like is to constantly feeling like I am running out of money and I must be very careful while spending my own money. This has started to bug me a lot lately because I have no reason to reduce the quality of my life or to generate extra stress for my life by getting anxious about my money and my chequing account.
My mortgage will be paid in a shorter time than many; whether I can make it 2 years earlier should not matter to me right now.
Right now, I want to breathe.
That is why I am not going to make that 5K extra contribution to my mortgage before the new year (that I had planned).
Making that contribution would make my chequeing account quite low (still on the positive side, but low) and I would be spending the next 6 months saving another 5K for my personal retirement payment in summer. And, when I make it, then I would be saving money this time to again beef up my chequeing account and buffer for extra expenses that may happen.
It is becoming a constant struggle, a source of stress and even sadness, to keep constantly save large amounts of money for something.
Should I not be instead celebrating all the positive changes I have made in my life with my budget and savings?
Yes, I should be feeling like celebrating rather than struggling….