It was not even 5 minutes that I have written a post where I bragged about attending too many socials during the holidays, and now I have got two more invitation emails asking me to join them for a social. One of them is from someone who has been kind to me at the beginning and then was mean for no reason at one occasion. I had not seen her in the last 3-4 years.
So what do I do now?
I guess I will keep being polite and ask her to join me for a coffee or something like that. It gotta be short.
Sometimes I feel like people “feel” for people like me who live alone and almost feel the need of “saving” us from our loneliness by inviting here and there, especially during the holiday season. It is like “poor thing – please come and get some joy”… I wonder how many people think or feel this way.
One other time the host (who is actually a good friend of mine) had “kindly” said that they invited me over because they were worried their kids were not exposed to enough diversity (I am not from here). It was so awkward for me (I felt like I was being treated like a display object on a store’s window or at rare items museum), but obviously not for them…
And another friend of mine insists that I spend the new year eve with them. Last year I made an exception and went there. But this year I do not want to. I told her that I was not sure and we will talk some other time. If I am going there, it will be on my terms; I will leave early like 8 pm. I want to be home and by myself reflecting to welcome the new year, with hope, joy, and appreciation for the last year. However it was and however it will be.. I told her my wishes for the new year night last year, but it does not go through. Why is that I wonder?
How do I tell people that I am okay spending time by myself… No. Correction.. How do I convince people that I am okay spending time by myself?
As a matter of fact, why do I ever have to convince anyone?
Not everyone wants to spill their guts out; some of us are okay rejoicing themselves or mending their scars alone. Living alone does not mean that we are lonely.
I did rant.
And feel slightly better already 🙂