random thoughts


It is quite cold, my friends. We are talking about below 0C. 

Air is fresh and crispy but honestly it just feels like when winter is just starting in December. Déjà vu….. Not so cool. We have had with winter already.

Since my morale is low in the last few days, I try hard to feel okay. I am kind of numb or absent-minded. I feel like if I do not keep busy, all the thoughts and emotions will rush towards me and I will collapse under their weights. I know this is irrational thinking. But it just feels so. So I keep busy – I work and work and work and that feels good.

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All my life I worked very hard, except may be a couple of times when I have had personal troubles that kept me from focusing and working a lot. Working seems to help keep my fears and emotions at check and for that I am grateful. It is just that I know that there is no running away from troubling thoughts or emotions, so one day I will have to face my sadness and worries. I hope to gracefully accept them when the time comes, rather than resisting and reacting. I found that not resisting makes it easier to cope with.

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So, am I kind of saying that I am grateful that I am not retired?

What would I do if I had no work to go to or focus in such a mood? Let me tell you – that would not be nice. So, yes I am so very grateful for my job and not being a retiree right now 🙂

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4 thoughts on “random thoughts

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  1. Rather than “facing” your worries and sadness, why not redirect your thoughts to those that make you smile and happy. Are there songs that you love to listen to? Favorite movies or books to read? What about spending more time in nature, even if it’s looking out your window because it’s too cold to go outside, although that chill might just be refreshing! You don’t have to face them, you can rid yourself of them. You could embrace them and think without sadness I would not know happiness and what is it that makes me happy. Do you like to draw or paint or play an instrument. Go easy on yourself, you are worthy and deserving of happiness not sadness, dwell on happy!! I know sometimes it’s not easy to, but when you feel yourself becoming sad or worried don’t accept it, turn away from it, divert your thoughts and move away from what makes you sad, towards that which makes you happy. Smell a flower or enjoy a painting or even take a nap or meditate to quiet your thoughts. You are a beautiful person with a caring soul, that alone can make you smile!! 🙂 xo

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    1. comes and goes 🙂 yes I have felt way down, even more than this, in my life before. it is life NinaSusan and i write what I feel 🙂 I have a tendency to seek for perfection, even in life or in my experiences, so feeling down comes naturally :)))

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