why do we need to feel good?

At one point in my life, many years ago, I was feeling really bad. As a result I turned into books to understand these feelings, their causes, and how to better deal with the thoughts and emotions as a result.

One thing that misses usually from my overall look at life is trust; trust that things will turn out just okay. Trust that I will be able to handle things well. I now am somehow better in this area if I can remind myself.

My other big habit is to not let go of things, plans, wishes, or wants easily. I believe that they take quite a time and effort to come up with, organize, and execute. These, if not followed with success, eventually it leads to frustration and self-doubt. That hurts and amplifies the the first trust issue; trusting that I will be able to handle things well. This being said, not being an easy dumper is also good sometime, as many things in life require more than mere luck and rather lots of efforts and patience. I have good examples of relatively big success came by not quitting and constantly working towards the aim.

The third would be to have a sharp focus. This is great when there is a task at hand, but not great while dealing with life issues, which are often more complex and repeating in nature. Seeing the big picture, my own and the issue’s place within everything life offers can be quite illuminating; after all what is the big deal as long as we are safe, sound, alive, and able?

I once was silly enough to complain to one of my friends about my own itsy bitsy issues a few months after she has lost her dad. I apologized when I realized what I was being so selfish and insensitive to my friend. She did something amazing and gave a piece of wisdom; there was no pain little or big enough; pain is pain and it fills us almost immediately; fast and expandable. I love this definition, which is so true. But I still want to get out of the room of the pain and see the other things in life. This change in the perspective is healthy, promotes positivity, and eventually calms me.

if there is another thing that calms me is to surrounder to pain. I was not able to understand the meaning of this for years, but one day it just came; I was struggling to decide on something critical, very, critical, and after a long and painful internal fight, my shoulders just dropped. Decision was made by my body. I had failed to make the decision I so long wanted to make. But I could not take it anymore. Fight was over. Pain was pain, but less than the pain my internal fight created. Failed to make the best decision? Yes. Succeeded in surviving my turmoil? Yes. Life can be this messy sometimes.

We have so many examples of hardship in our lives. So many mistakes and resentful memories, actions, words, and behaviors.

What is the solution?

Keep going?


Forget these or forgive ourselves? 


4 thoughts on “why do we need to feel good?

Add yours

  1. Building blocks to success. I have trouble trusting others with my life. I assume that is what you are saying in your first paragraph? It is a lonely place to be but, it also forces us to trust ourselves! We make our own decisions…if they are right decisions…great, if they are wrong decisions, not so great and should they just be experienced as a lesson and another step toward success…strong and moving forward!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. right… hard to swallow but right…i do not trust others much, only after many years and occasions with evidenced solidness. but there is a general feeling of trust; trusting that I do not know what the future will bring but this may turn out to be actually good. not always things turn out to be bad, but there are patterns that make one skeptical; people trying to manipulate, use, or devalue. people that cannot keep their promises. political people that talk but never walk. these are good examples. but in terms of trusting myself – my main issue would be not knowing how to react mostly because I happen to react without thinking. anyways.. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. You mention thoughts that often come to my mind (https://aghisladraws.wordpress.com/2017/01/17/on-persistence/), and I too found peace in surrendering to pain. However, I noticed that painful events kept hitting me. I am now trying to understand how I end up in these uncomfortable situations, so that I manage to avoid them in the future. I’m seeking help for this, because I need at least a second opinion, and if possible, guidance on how to proceed. Would that be an option for you?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. it sure is an option. i think it is an option for everyone who can benefit from second opinion and expert support. if that continues like this I will seek external help myself. I will check your blog. thanks for dropping by and this insightful and supportive comment

      Liked by 1 person

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