joy journal – Jan 24, 2018


I am calm but not necessarily in the mood. I do not even now what to write here, but I trust that as soon as I start writing it, I will find things to be grateful for. 

1. I am grateful for starting this entry for today.

2. I am grateful for feeling calm, although I have things to be angry and pissed off about. 

3. I am grateful for submitting a big report today without making it “perfect”. Under normal conditions I would have spent many more hours trying to improve it. I read my report and while I could maybe do a little bit more meticulous work, it was a very well drafted and comprehensive report. So why to stress myself more? This is such a deviation from my regular perfectionist attitude. Because of the stress of heavy work load and frustration at work, I was contemplating about leaving my perfectionist practice and taking things easier. I did it today. A new path is opening in front of me. I am proud of myself.

4. I am grateful for helping my team members by giving them a ride with cab this evening – it was a miserable weather outside and we all appreciated not walking in the rain and on the ice.

5. I am grateful for enjoying coffee and muffins with a colleague this morning and having a nice chat in between.

————————————

Things that I appreciate myself for today:

  1. I appreciate myself for trusting life and still standing tall
  2. I appreciate myself for working till late hours – it is counter-intuitive, but when I have too many things to do I appreciate the opportunity to have time to work on them
  3. I appreciate the fact that I have left my perfectionist work attitude behind – things can get only better from here. I am changing. I have changed. I will continue to change

 

3 thoughts on “joy journal – Jan 24, 2018

Add yours

  1. Wow I can so relate to this…especially the perfectionist part. I too am a perfectionist and will, like you, labor over things longer than is necessary until it is beyond perfect! I have decided to lighten up in that area too…of course the work will still be accurate & correct, but I won’t go over the top and make it beyond perfect. That’s huge too that you were able to remain calm even when you could be pissed off…continue with that practice…that will be sooo helpful to you!! I’m glad that, even though you were not in the mood, you took the time to jot some items down. How did you feel once you were done? 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I felt like… wait a minute! I in fact did all of these and writing just helped me to realize them 🙂 I may be calm now only to to burst later, so I hope my calmness is not passive aggressiveness at this time 🙂 but letting go off the perfectionist part is HUGE… I now realize that from now on things will change big time and I will find my best place in terms of work and work habits. thanks for dropping by and encouraging me Deb.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Letting go of the perfectionist part truly is HUGE, we put so much pressure on ourselves unnecessarily!! It’s hard not to be one after having been so all our lives, but it’s also a relief to let go!! Good luck with that…we can do it!! It’s amazing when you write things down and then review them the realizations we have. Yes I have my moments too and sometimes it feels really good to have a hissy fit for a minute or two, I’ll even laugh at myself afterwards because that burst felt good and now I’m calm again. Oh it’s my pleasure…it’s been too long since I’ve been by… xo 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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