feeling good :)


This week has been another roller coaster period of time. The beginning of it had a colleague swearing and yelling at me in front of people because of their frustrations, which later was sweetened, but hey, although I do not take it personal, I cannot fully pass the idea that I have been insulted, if not assaulted. Anyways. I appreciate the way I have dealt with this ridiculous situation (calm and professional) and now my colleague and I have normal interactions.

I am behind re; many of the things I would like to complete prior to the holidays, but we are moving anyhow. That also means that I did not accept a couple of additional tasks, which is usually not my behavior, but I am glad I have started to say no, and not feeling bad about this. It turns out the world still circles around the sun no matter what I do or not 🙂

Today was a particularly good day. I started the day before 5 am in the morning. It was peaceful and gave me quite a bit of time to do serious work prior to my back to back meetings starting at 11 am. The great news I have got in the afternoon was that one of the projects I designed and applied for has been accepted 🙂 It has been such a long run working on the project 🙂 Even though its financial scale is not earth-shattering, its impact on my confidence and the future users of the end-product is 🙂

I was not, for some reason, overly joyous about this news until after I walked a few minutes in the evening when I realized that it was indeed a huge success for someone with my educational background and expertise to design and lead a project in a such different field. I must be, and I am, proud of myself! Last year when I talked to a couple of my colleagues, they had criticized me and said that I should rather let someone bigger to lead my project. I was furious. These colleagues of mine who are also my friends – hello-, undermined my interests and abilities, and hey, today who is the boss? Feeling good indeed 🙂

If you have been following my blog for sometime, I have been feeling unsuccessful and had lost my confidence at a significant level. The last few years have been very hard in terms of work; stressful and full of troubles and troubled work relationships. I am still stressed and I still have troubled colleagues/work relationships in my life, but I am slowly gaining back my confidence and increasingly seeing my value.

For me, this is more than enough for now.

 

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