time to really prioritize myself and my well-being


I have not written here for some time.

I took some kind of break from internet for a while so that I could rather read inspirational books and analyze my feelings by writing on my worry journal.

It all started with a two-days I took off work – my first time in my entire career that I used my vacation time to focus on myself and rest. This is 25 years of work, my friends. All other times I used my vacation time to visit family or friends (where are they now?)

In that two days, I wanted to do whatever I wanted to do – reading books, sitting at a cafe, ordering meal, shopping, reflecting.. Just about anything but working!Β  It was good. I did not check my emails during this time, which was a miracle, by the way.Β  I still try not to check the work emails in the evenings and at the weekend. I also try not to work at home and generally take things easy.

But I am also angry with anything that bothers me, and I think my blood pressure increases time to time in such a way that it is alarming me. Deep down I think I am also depressed. I do not know friends – I feel a lot of things nowadays and I think I should really prioritize myself and care about my body and mind, and I should let go off any past or current issues or negative feelings to feel okay.

Honestly, the other day while I was having elevated blood pressure (I think that is what it was)Β  I just felt that I could as well die at that moment and I would not even care.

This is scary.

On the good side, since I have started the worry journal practice, my anxiety is manageable.

This is priceless.

 

7 thoughts on “time to really prioritize myself and my well-being

Add yours

  1. Glad that you were able to take those 2 days off and really work on yourself. I know what you mean about feeling angry, I have been feeling angry all the time about anything really. Not sure why. I hope you get to feeling better. ❀

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Well done for taking some time off for yourself… finally. It sounds like you would benefit from a lot more. Your worry journal and switching off from all-things-electronic sound really helpful too. I hope you manage to tune in to your own needs more and more… I burnt out quite badly some time ago and some of the warning signs were getting aggravated for small things easily. Big hugs to you πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

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