I was happy for the entire morning yesterday. Really happy.
I was excited about the day. The great weather. The ability to walk, The ability to work. The ability to survive and do all bunch of other things. I had a life and it was going well.
Since it does not happen all the time, it was precious! It was beautiful! It was energizing!
Then, what happened?
Well, work related shit happened and I had to find a solution to a confusing situation that directly relates to me. It is important that I find the best solution so that I can feel that my interests are protected to best.
I increasingly realize that finding solutions to complex situations is one thing that drains me and stresses me…… Since it is an intense mental process, and I cannot help but have that urge to find the solutions right away, it means that my work and life are interrupted and I feel heavily overwhelmed until that solution miraculously shows up in my mind.
If only I could develop some sort of confidence that I am capable of finding solutions without getting into an intense thought process.
Another thing is when I need to write an email. Sometimes I find myself revising it so many different times until I find it making the point clearly and without giving away more than what it is intended to. With work-related emails, there is always a chance of being mis-understood or having negative consequences if the email does not sound right. So I draft and sometimes revise them multiple times, which is another annoyance for me. BUT today I realized that I revise them to make these emails better, which is better for me – so I should actually trust my instinct, keep revise until I am satisfied, and be happy to revise at the same time.
It appears that a change in the perspective is something I can benefit from.
And, the more I analyze, the better I can see why I experience certain annoyances…. This reminds me my worry journal that has been therapeutic. Time to get the dust off it.
Regardless of what, though, it has been great to remind myself yesterday that happiness was possible.
I swear work can take you from happy to stressed in a matter of seconds.
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indeed 🙂 I wish I had cared less about it and more about my own quality of life 🙂
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I’m trying to care less. It works to a point.
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