random thoughts on a random evening

I do not even know what I will write in this post 🙂

Here I go.

Today has been a good day. It was bright and warm. I worked till noon at the office, taking care of a number of critical things. Then I walked back home (grateful for this decision of mine) and started a new a highly critical work. It went really well till now and I am quite pleased with my performance. Home office works for me 🙂

I do not know how my colleagues interpret my absence from the work office… I sometimes hear things that make me nervous. Once my boss asked why I was mostly absent from the office. It was a couple of years back. The question was careful but made me feel defensive and nervous. I may be the only one who appreciates this opportunity to utilize the home office. I made a mental note to talk more about it. One last thing I want is its working against me. I do so much better at the home office and feel so much better..

I found a chance to chat with my neighbours and it was quite pleasant as well. It is so important to have good neighbours… I am one of the lucky bunch indeed. This is a very satisfying and exciting thought – I am grateful for this as well. If you have good neighbours, go appreciate them as well as yourself – they would not be so good to you unless you were good to them.

It is warm at nights, but it is manageable. I know how hard it can be to sleep at temps above 25C. I could not be happier in this regard. It is great not to need and AC. I am grateful for this as well.

I want to go back to walking. I have been walking almost everyday from office to home, at least. This makes me feel good about myself. I must admit that sometimes it is difficult – I find myself at the bus stop so easily. How do I make the decision to rather walk? Habit? Not wanting to wait for the bus? Finding a chance to relax my mind while walking? Any of them can be quite powerful. The end result, walking, is the best, but I wonder how I make my decisions?

I am such a habit-person, who has a routine and sticks to it; my work days are ordered, so are the weekends. Anything different that needs to be done requires most often a prior planning… Sometimes this is great, sometimes it makes me bored – especially when all of a sudden I find some time at my hand. Dilemma….

Anyways; other good things include eating apple at the office (very healthy), giving away a couple of more succulents to a colleague (always a pleasure to spread the love of plants), having a dinner with home-made chickpea meal and sourdough (yummy), and taking this time and evening to just relax.

It turned out to be more like a joy journal entry, but I am pleased what went through my mind while writing this post 🙂



reconstructing when life needs it

I have taken significant steps to change things; the way I work, live, or interact with others. Just because I realized the amount of change I have been thinking about or implementing, I came to realize today that I am re-constructing myself, my work, and my life. I am also re-constructing my attitude towards myself, work, my family, my co-workers/friends, money, and my life.

It feels great!

I have done what I thought was best at times. I cannot regret, and I am not willing to. They serve me well over sometime, but not anymore. Time to change, time to do differently. For a better tomorrow as I want today.

I am fine with that.

As a matter of fact, I am encouraged, excited, and happy about these!!


What progress I have had so far?

I am more compassionate and supportive of myself. I feel the need to take care of myself and my wellness is becoming important. This is very healthy and natural – I take that it is a real need and this is empowering.

I am less concerned about the mistakes I may have done, developed new interests and skills, and feeling successful after a 2.5 years of high stress and hard work season. I am very aware of my strengths and capabilities, and I am more confident. What remains to be implemented is to take it easier and maybe stop working regularly at the weekends. And say no more often.

I value life and am curious about it more like when I was young. I want to be out there with life, within life, and I want a fuller life that is not restricted with my work or how stressful or constrained I may feel. I want to taste it – whether it is visiting new places, meeting with new people, having a new outfit style, trying new things, or simply just buying myself a lovely meal, I want to experience life in a wider way. It is my birth right, like is yours.

I am forgiving more and letting go more. This positively affects my relationships. I also speak less and listen more. I am more authentic or genuine than before, less reserved, but equally loving. I am putting myself more out there without fear or fear of rejection, stigma, etc.

At work, I am speaking of my mind less and developing a political attitude to less annoy others, but still make the points I want to make. I do not need to insist on things that others would not agree to. Sometimes my job (at work) is just to bring them over for discussion. Let everyone think and decide.

I have stopped recording my expenses and savings as of yesterday. I realized that it was a constant battle for me to see how much I had spent and how much of it was extra (which meant I beat myself for it). I do not need this in my life. It served me well in the last few years, but came to a point that it started to harm me. So I am stopping it until next time I need it or benefit from it.


All started in action by re-arranging the furniture of my bedroom yesterday. The “new direction” of my furniture made me realize it was needed, felt great, and was full of opportunities for me to realize. I then visited a nearby book store and purchased two books – both inspirational. I sat at a cafe and started reading it. It was quiet, and the 6 bucks I paid for the tea and scones were the best 6 bucks I have ever spent. This was one of my most enjoyable things to do at the weekends, which I had stopped in the name of saving money. Now I see that I can enjoy it still. And I will as long as it continues to be enjoyable.

Then, I met with some friends and decided to dress up. Boy, it was a great idea. I went there not expecting anything (that is, not having any prior plans or thoughts) and I just took it one moment at a time. All the new experiences I have had and all the new people I have met, and all the positive thoughts that went through my mind as a result, are priceless. Life can be very awarding if we step in it and watch what it can offer. Not all the time, but this does not mean that it does not. I will take my chances with life more now.

I also decided that it was time that I had stopped worrying about work. This week I am going to take a couple of days and shut my work email down. I do not want to think about work. Just myself. My plan is to be visiting new places, a public library or two, some art galleries, and simply sit and read a book at a cafe. All while dressed up like I would love. I also would love to smile more (honestly it makes one feel better right away), immerse in what life can offer, eat better with healthy food, and continue to reflect on and celebrate the wonderful change I am leading.

I have experience from which I have learnt. And I have faith that the next days will be better and everything is happening as they are supposed to be. I trust that this is true.



The second day of the “work” staycation

Today went well too; worked more or less without much of a distraction and it felt good to be able to do this.

My anxiety levels are still high, though, and unless I find a way to reduce it, I am afraid it may escalate. So I will be making a good effort to go back to my routine tomorrow; thank goodness it is Saturday tomorrow and I will fill it up with my regular activities, such as cleaning the house, picking up milk from a store, doing laundry, preparing my sourdough for over night rise, and speaking with my family. I must also clean up the yard and pick the weeds and other unnecessary life forms. I never knew how much I would appreciate my daily (and often times boring) highly structured life-style.

I am familiar with anxiety accompanied with shallow breathing and the feeling of being scared of something, someone, a thought. I try to not resist but rather relax into it and mediate the situation with some meditative music and focusing on the positives; I have a great family who supports me; I am doing great work; my home and yard are at a much better shape than last year; I keep budgeting and living frugally; I try to find joy and happiness in little things; there is a wonderful weather outside; I was able to keep my window open the whole day and have fresh air inside; I have good friends who are happy to socialize with me and help me if needed; I have usually a great job that provides me with more than enough money (even though it also makes me feel inadequate – the main reason of my latest anxiety boot).

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I feel angry at the conditions that limits me at work and my performance; i am angry at the funding situation for our projects; I am angry at the endless competition we undergo to achieve something; I am angry at the economy; I am angry at myself for not saying “no” more often and often ending up doing other peoples’ works. I am angry at myself for not focusing on the positive and the big picture we call life, rather than all the little antsy bitsy things that I let to annoy me.

I want to feel good and I know that as long as I have this wish, this anxiety will not go anywhere. Wishing to feel good by running away from what I am experiencing is a form of resistance that makes things worse. It is so counter intuitive. I know there are things that I will change and improve as a result of this experience. I just do not know what they are.

The best remedy for anxiety is to trust the unknown. I need to trust to life, the universe if you will, people around me, and more importantly, myself. I may fail at work according to my own or others’ criteria, I know I will get up being better and stronger out of this hurdle. Maybe I will turn things around by being a little bit more smart in protecting my own time and energy, a little bit more lucky, or by changing my own attitude towards myself, my life, my work, my colleagues, my hopes, and my failures. 

I know all of these. 

Now it is time to believe in them.

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I let myself enjoy my day

After the emotionally turbulent week (due to work issues), I am finally calm and can see the light ahead.

The weekend routine helped me to relax. Honestly I never thought that I would love my routine this much 🙂 But cleaning the house, grocery shopping, and doing laundry all helped me to focus on different things and gave my negative mind a break. I am grateful.

I have a trip to make in the coming days to Europe for business. I know I will be tired, but i am so looking forward to this change. I completely let myself to enjoy these precious time away from my current work place.

I realize I must do this more.

breaking the routine -Sept 30, 2016

I sure did break my routine in multiple ways this week. Thanks to the stress and many things going wrong at work 🙂

The majority of the changes are because of the lack of energy or patience (such as taking the cab in the morning and the afternoon) as well as of the need to pamper myself; I bought myself dinner for four consecutive nights and while I am not very impressed with the quality of the food, I sure am impressed with my effort to keep my head over the water and not being bothered by the money I paid for the meals.

I am coming back to my routine – the worst part is over and I also have a newly found appreciation for my routine now 🙂 I have been reading posts and it is always a valuable activity; I like learning, thinking, and relating to fellow bloggers. This re-focus and positive experience sure helped.

One’s mind may be the worst enemy sometime – have you felt this way before? I am overly critical and detail-oriented. Thus, it is tough to re-focus my attention from problematic experiences to other areas in life until some time. It is as if I must swim in the turbulent water first for a long time until either the effect of the storm subsidizes (even if that means to almost drown myself along the way), or when I look up to sky and suddenly realize that the storm has already passed and the sun is shining, so the need for my erratic swimming efforts had already diminished. This time lag in seeing the reality is quite interesting.

My mind and life… always interesting 🙂

breaking the routine – July 28, 2016


Mostly because of the jet-lag I have, I have been getting up around 7 am this week (which is quite early for a late-night bird like myself).

Upon getting up this morning, honestly I did want to spend time in a nearby cafe rather than going to my office. I contemplated a little bit. I thought it was too early for cafe to open, so I spent time browsing the internet at home.

This is to me quite a change as I for over decades felt bad if I had not left the house in 10 min of getting up….

I loved this change that I willingly experienced this morning….

It tells me that I may be okay with spending time at home in the mornings. I can prepare breakfast for myself, for example, which I have hardly done. At least in the last few decades or so, except on horrible snow storms…..Would that not be nice, friends?

Eventually I got bored and took the bus to office at around 9 am. At that point I was feeling hungry, so I treated myself with a cup of coffee and muffins/tea biscuit. I know… I know… Not the bit of healthiest breakfast, but, hey, it felt good and I am glad that I was not lazy and willingly went to the cafe located at my work-place.

Both of these out-of-routine experiences have been good for me to see that sometimes, I am really relax and can get out of my comfort/boring routine zone.

And can enjoy my moments 🙂

breaking the routine – April 16, 2016

This morning, I surprised myself by, instead of going to the same cafe for the same breakfast, going to another cafe 20 min away on foot. I think my mind was busy with thoughts and my feet just started walking towards another direction. When I noticed that I smiled and took this opportunity to visit a cafe I have not been to for some time.

Breakfast (consisting of my regular coffee and bagel combo) was not the best, but I appreciated the change of place. From there, I visited the bookstore and immediately liked and purchased a book about abundance. I then sat at another cafe next to the bookstore, ordered myself a cup of nice coffee, and started reading my book.

After, I decided to visit a local store or two to buy some food. I am particularly excited about the beef bones that I bought and that make awesome soup base/stock! Cannot wait to consume them.

It was a great morning and a great change of routine for me. Nothing feels better when you break the routine, stop doing the same things and visiting the same places.

It was long overdue for me and I was feeling the weight of the boredom lately. I am glad my feet drove me to another direction this morning and I am glad the weather was nice and I had a thin french-coat on me rather than the winter coat, which made walking not only easy but also pleasurable.

have a great Saturday everyone! 🙂

breaking the routine

Taking advantage of the fact that I have got up at 8 am and I had 2 hour before my appointment in the morning, I decided to go get coffee and bagel at a nearby cafe.

I took my time savoring each bit and after that I even walked 30 min to my appointment. There was no slush on the roads, little ice here and there. So walking was not a problem.

Come to think about it, I may as well walk to office every morning (as long as it does not rain or snow). And, if i get up early like today, I may first have my breakfast at the cafe and then walk to my office. That (that is, having breakfast during the work days) would be so unusual of me, but  guess I would like it.

I feel good about this.

random thoughts

Another beautiful day 🙂

It is a little bit crispy when compared to yesterday but there is no snow around and walking and being outside is quite a pleasant experience.

I have got breakfast at a cafe and then walked around the streets. One of the streets is where I used to live prior to buying my own house. I had forgotten what a beautiful street it was. The majority of the houses on that street are quite old and they preserve their character. I love this – I love old neighborhoods and the efforts to keep them as they are. Some of the houses, however, were not managed well and seemed in immediate need of renovation. It breaks my heart to see them like this. After all, what we have is a part of our heritage and it is our duty to preserve it for the next generations – let’s hope they will appreciate these as much as we (or some of us) do.

It is also a quiet street and I made a mental note to walk more there. Since it was a pleasure to be in the neighborhood, I stopped by at another cafe I used to frequently go when I lived in that neighborhood. This must the first time I have been to two different cafe at the same morning 🙂 I liked this change and breaking my routine for no reason and with no plan.

It is great to be spontaneous 🙂




today’s bits

I have done something different and went to a cafe 20 min away from home. I did not take my laptop with me, either. So I have had a great coffee (I like their coffee the best) and two bagels. I also read the newspaper the cafe have had. I sat in front of the window and enjoyed my breakfast and life for sometime.

It was well worth to visit this cafe. Plus, its prices are more affordable than my favorite cafe; so better coffee+free read of newspaper+better affordability = I should be going to this cafe all the time!! 🙂

There is another catch with this cafe; it is just next to my favorite second hand bookstore. I admit; I wanted to visit the bookstore and possibly buy a book; that is why I went to that cafe (first visit since december or so). And I am glad I have. I missed being there and going thru all the interesting books….This is an amazing feeling. I know I have been on shopping freeze for books for some time, but every once a while having this pleasure of being there and buying a book should be okay 🙂

I bought a book. It is about finances and investing. I enjoy reading this kind of books. Considering it is my objective to save and invest as much as possible for my future, I am glad I have bought this book. The book does not say anything new we do not know;

1. start saving and investing early

2. invest in stocks; stock market eventually corrects itself

3. invest over time and regularly (such as monthly or biweekly)

4. invest when you have money and wish to invest; do not wait or delay

5. do not try to time the stock markets

6. buy and hold rather than buying and selling frequently, unless there is a very good reason (what would that reason be, I have no idea)

7. work with financial advisors or investors

8. buy, if you can, when the market is low (just like nowadays…)

9. maximize your company retirement plans (401K if you are in the USA) and take advantage of the company matching plans (For my fellow Canadians, that would translate into maximizing the RRSP contributions)

10. do not try to pay off your mortgage in a short time by extra payments or by increasing the mortgage payments; rather invest the extra payments or keep cash at hand so that if you need it, you can use your own money.

Okay; this last one is tricky and after I read it it made some sense to me. Yes, by paying the mortgage early we do save from the interest and it feels quite exciting to be able to have the “home” in nearer future. Yet, nowadays the interest rates are really low and one wonders whether if investing the money would bring a better return? I really do not know. I for one lost confidence in the market as they are volatile and they are predicted to go even more down as the countries struggle with their economies as well as the aging populations.

This being said; I am  planning to increase my mortgage payment by a small amount in the fall, only because I am getting a little salary increase at that time. But that is pretty much it.

BUT, I love the idea of keeping my own money should I need it (for repairs or other urgent matters of life, like health problems etc.) rather than making it my day and night effort to pay the mortgage off first. As a matter of fact this is what exactly I am trying to do for now; accumulating an emergency/house contingency fund in my TFSA account. My prediction is that after maybe 2 years or so, I will be comfortable enough to divert my money to investments for retirement, or to reduce my mortgage by extra payments.

I keep telling myself I should be patient…

Time will show 🙂



what to do today?


I am bored. Tomorrow is the work day and work day means I must make important decisions, particularly an unpleasant one. The right decision is the best one, yet what do we do when the right decision pisses other people and this may return back to me as an issue in future?

Stress is not something I like. But I do not like being wrong, either. All of us must have been at this corner time to time. So you understand me.

I know I have a great day in front me yet I do not know how to spend it. I have been watching a TV series; I guess it is time that I give it a break and try something else.

I considered buying myself a lunch, but decided against it. I may try reading a book, but it is not very appealing right now, either. I am in the mood of exploring things, whether it is the merchandise on the shelves of a store or an unknown part of the city. Honestly I have no interest in going somewhere just to explore this city (the curse of a small and unappealing city), so it looks like it is a store.

I need some excitement, something interesting to do this afternoon and it is a pity that one thing I can come up with is to possibly shop. So be it, but that also tells me how pathetic my daily routine may get.

Enjoy your Sunday and may you all find something nice, exciting, or lovely in this beautiful day.



breaking the routine, jan 17, 2016

I was shopping yesterday at the grocery store and just to kill some time, I decided to go thru shelves that I  usually would not visit – the shelves with organic stuff. There I have seen almond milk (unsweetened), which was on sale. Since my doctor had suggested almond, soya or regular milk as a calcium and vitamin D supplement for me, I decided to give it a try (my first time trying it).

I must say it is a beauty! Very smooth and filling kind of milk. The calcium and vitamin D levels are comparable to cow milk, even a little bit higher. The other difference is the protein contents, which is in fact less in almond milk than the cow milk. This is not desirable for me, as I usually would not consume meat and meat products daily and thus I would appreciate protein from the milk, but that also means that the calories per serving is much less in almond milk than the regular skim milk.

I give almond milk a 8 out of 10 and am happy to consume more in future.

today’s bits

The title may puzzle some of you; it is just an alternative to my regular “random thoughts” posts. For some reason, in this new year, I did not want to use that title anymore. So here we go “today’s bits” 🙂

It has been a nice week overall. Right after the holidays and right before our work schedule gets crazy (starting next week), I have had 4 days of peaceful work. I worked quite a bit, mostly with a team member of mine. I am glad we have had this time to fully focus on his project. I spent regular hours in the office, only to leave after 5pm, which felt good. Only exception was today, when I left my office to work at home around noon.

It was a kind of chilly day today, but i managed to walk back home. I also visited another grocery store, maybe 1 minute off my regular route. I am glad I have done that as the store has different products and somewhat different prices, too. I have bought more than I could carry comfortably, but it was worth it.

I took advantage of the sales and bought stuff that I would not usually consume. Like turkey legs. I in fact like turkey legs; turkey broth is  quite nourishing and smells nice. I particularly love cooking pasta in that broth – that is what I will try this weekend. I also bought a large bag of potatoes and am planning to try fish cakes this week. Hopefully I will not mess it up and it will turn out to be a delicious dish as I have been hearing here and there.

While I have gone to yoga for the last three nights, today and tomorrow, I plan not to. Not that I do not love the stretching classes. But because I wanted to “miss” being in there. In my case, no matter how awesome and well feeling something is, continuous exposure makes me get bored after a while. I need to “miss” such things by staying away for a while. Today this is what exactly I am feeling; missing being in those stretching classes. Sunday, I will resume my classes. Looks like 5 nights a week is a good plan. The remaining two nights, I can take a break, miss it, and do other stuff like reading my book “A Clash of Kings” by GRRM.

have a great Friday night friends 🙂


change of the day

While I happen to have a quite simple life, I realized lately that there were still somethings that need to change.

Partly because of the overwhelming feelings lately, the need for change, and my usual laziness :), I have finally today re-arranged the furniture at my home.

The new arrangement is not the best but it gives me a sense of change; my couch is now closer to the beginning of the house and TV/study, rather than being at the back; that changes my perspective and the way I enjoy my house.

I also changed the covers of the couch; previously I had two pieces of covers that were doing an amazing job protecting the fabric from my ink (I use pen a lot and everywhere I sit eventually gets the inks stain) and keeping me warm in this cool environment, yet these covers needed to be straightened up everyday after I sit on the couch. What a silly way to feel like “I have one more thing to do” and waste my emotions, energy, and time on. Now I have one large cover that is also of a great color. This change not only makes my life easier but also energizes me and my home.

I also changed the way my bed was in my bedroom; now it is lining up with another wall in my room. I will be able to get more sunshine in the mornings with this arrangement; this I hope will help me wake up easier in the mornings. I am interested to see how it will feel in the morning.. I hope it will also help me get rid of the thought of “everything is the same”…

I am loving what I have done today; it took time and at one point I was not sure how to fix everything, but now it is done. I am proud of myself and excited at the same time about this change.

cheers 🙂


PS; you may ask what my usual laziness have got to do with rearranging the furniture. Changing the covers was motivated by my laziness 🙂 rather than the need for change in the scenery.

random thoughts

I am getting back to feeling very cranky and energyless in the mornings.

I do not know why this is happening, whether it has got something to do with the chilly or gray weather.

I was feeling better in the summer and following my family visit. Now, in the last few days getting up has been a difficult thing for me, something that I do not enjoy; the thoughts that go through my mind this morning was “how boring it is; now I will do the same things again; use the bathroom, put on the clothes, put on the makeup, go down, contemplate about walking, taking the bus or the cab, feel bad about the idea of walking or waiting at the bus stop even though after these I will feel quite good about myself, or take the cab and feel pampered but will lack the feeling of accomplishment coming from walking or taking the bus..”.

I cannot be excited or joyful in the mornings. I feel late to the office should I take the bus or walk, only because I cannot get up early in the morning. I am tired of this mental judo every morning.

Where am I going like this?

This feeling I have in the mornings is not fun.

I am fed up doing the same things and then get bored.

I am in need of changing a number of things, including my morning routine.

I am planing to change the organization of the furniture in the bedroom to get some kind of change – let’s see whether it will be helpful.

I may want to invest in a radio in my bedroom to listen to it in the morning – maybe it will lift my mood.

I know affirmations or taking some time at home prior to going to the office may change my mood, but I really cannot see myself doing this. Unless I get up early.

And I know if I go to bed early, I can get up early, too and I may feel less pressurized to arrive to the office as early as possible.

I do not know what will work better.

But I know I am fed up of this feeling.

breaking the routine, Nov 5, 2015

I have done a couple of wonderful changes today, by the help of a business meeting in the morning away from my work place.

The meeting ended around 11 am and I walked to a nearby shopping mall. I went directly to a cafe there and got my coffee and two bagels. They were delicious and the mall had that sweet scent that reminds me the winter days and the holiday season.

I am glad I took my time to do this visit to the mall, rather than rushing back to my office after the meeting (as I usually do).

What a great opportunity to realize that life can be relaxing and awarding, I can be fine if I take time off of work, and work can still be taken care of even I am shortly away from my office:)

a change is an opportunity to change something else

You know I will have a couple of trips this month, which really excites me.

Mostly because I love traveling, seeing other places, and people. Leaving things behind, even for a short term, is a great freedom and the fact that I will also break my overly-routine daily life, I have extra bonuses that add up to my excitement 🙂

Breaking the routine is a great thing as doing the same things, eating the same food, going to the same places for coffee, like a robot every single day is such a boring thing. Do not get me wrong, it is also very useful as it makes life organized and going on smoothly. Finding a balance between the usefulness and boredom is what the challenge is. I have good efforts to break my routine, which I am determined to continue 🙂

Anyways; there is one or two things I would like to remove from my daily life (unhealthy and unnecessarily expensive habits). I have been thinking about them, planning and putting in effort for some time, yet I was not so far able to fully get rid of them. I have confidence that I am capable of doing these changes, but I always find an excuse not to and it is tiring really.

So, I am trying to make my mind, get really determined to make these changes at the same time with my trips; I believe the change of environment and daily routine will help me forget my routine here (that also contains these habits) when I come back. So, this may be in fact a great opportunity for me to achieve these changes.

While logically I fully agree that this can work and it is for my best interests, I am emotionally still hesitant. I feel like I need to focus more on this, write and think about it so that I can really implement these changes. In other words, I feel the need to convince myself further.

Wish me luck in this journey 🙂

random thoughts

A misty morning turned into a warm and bright September day; could not be better 🙂

I broke my routine today bu doing the grocery shopping first thing in the morning. well, well, well.. It turns out there are many buy one get one free deals. Got extra apples, cucumber, and yogurt thanks to this deal. The receipt now shows how much I have saved in each transaction. It feels great to know that I saved around $25 today 🙂

I wonder why I have not noticed such deals previously. I do not thing it is the first ever one buy get one free deal at the store. I guess the more I am conscious about my spending and savings, the more I notice and take advantage of them. Good to know 🙂

I have a busy weekend and week ahead. Trying not to get stressed. I keep telling myself “I am doing it”. I did shopping, cleaned the house, doing the laundry, will work on my computer, and hopefully will also relax this evening. Tomorrow me and my colleagues are walking for the Terry Fox Run event, which aims to raise funds for cancer research. I am excited to be doing this and very proud of the people who sponsored our walk and made donations to the Terry Fox Foundation.

Although I did not think I would this week (due to enormous amount of stuff I need to do), I started staining the patches on my deck. Not sure why, by some regions of the stain has lifted. I am not finished yet, but I have done 2/3 of the work. I love myself when I do the things that I procrastinate about 🙂 In a couple of weeks, I am planning to finish the rest. Not bad for a non-handy person 🙂 This is however just a temporary solution; I think the stain will protect the wood, but the stain colorwise looks quite patchy. I guess in a couple of years I will have to strip off the stain and re-stain the deck. That is okay. I will take care of this later.

Have a great Saturday 🙂

breaking the routine – September 1, 2015

I have a peculiar preference for apples – I like Golden delicious and Mcintosh most. Others, I am not really into that much and would not even buy.

Or….. that is what  used to think.

I bought a nice bag of mcinstosh two weeks ago. It was delicious as usual but at the weekend I have found two small caterpillar-like things in the tray that holds the apples. I not only immediately dumped the apples (an the creatures), but also developed a dislike for mcintosh apples.

So this week I was shopping and there was no Golden delicious. Knowing how great is apple for me (makes me feel better, my gastrointestinal system is happy, it is a great snack at the office or at home, and once purchased it lasts for a week or so), I needed to buy a different kind of apple.

It was Gala apples. Honestly their colour does not appeal me and I did not think I would ever enjoyed them. But to my surprise they are actually tasty.

I welcome this change and I am glad that the mentioned circumstances helped break my routine.

random thoughts

What a beautiful day 🙂

The handyman fixed my faucet locks and drained my water boiler – they recommend it every year, though the handyman said he did not bother about it at home 😉 Well, that is alright; next year I can get servicing, see whether there is anything that needs to be alarming or going bad about it. Someone had said if I get it serviced, it could last 7 years, if not then change it every 5 years. Sounds good to me; I will get it serviced in the 6th year and get professional opinion.

I made a great change his morning – I went to another cafe for breakfast. Yep, I still ate bagels but this time I have got it with cream cheese, not butters. Change felt good, though I still need to find an healthier alternative to bagels. Does not matter how much I like something (e.g. my favorite cafe), it is good to give a break time to time; it was getting too familiar, too routine. I am happy with my decision to go to somewhere else this morning.

Otherwise, how am I doing? Good. I had a healthy lunch. But most importantly, I went through my kitchen drawers and the pantry. Those teas and spices which are beyond their expiry day are now rightfully in the garbage. I have found 4 cans of food somewhere, 36 rolls of paper towel (why did I keep buying them??), 15 sponges to be used (again, why bought??), an incredible amount of cleaning clothes, and garbage and recycling bags that I had forgotten I had… And, how about the facial tissues that I thought I was running out of? Yep…..

You got the idea; we need to go thru our stuff time to time to know what we have what we need. I seem to buy stuff (like paper towels) out of habit, which now is mounting in my kitchen. And, the fact that I did not look at them carefully and thought some of them were  toilet papers,  I also realized that I am running out of toilet papers.

I have a lot of dried food: dried beans, chickpeas, rice, cracked wheat, dried peppers, okra, and eggplant. I need to, I want to integrate them into my weekly menu so that I can consume them, not waste them. Yesterday I came up with the idea of buying a pressure cooker. It will help with my time and especially with cooking the beans that I keep eating out of the can. As soon as I do my research and decide which one to purchase, I am getting one.

It felt really good to be going thru the stuff, dumping unusable ones, and noticing what I have. I so far did this with the bedrooms, kitchen, and two of the bathrooms. I now am onto the living room, boy, which is gonna be though 🙂 Books and all the paperwork/stationary items that need to be sorted are giving me the chills 🙂 I also need to decide which books and CDs to keep, which ones to donate; that is not gonna be easy, but I will do this 🙂

cheers everyone

breaking the routine – August 22-23, 2015

what a beautiful, peaceful Sunday – hope everyone is having a similar experience.

While I like the time spend out of office, I also get bored of doing the same things with the same routine at the weekends; clean the house, do the laundry, get breakfast at the same cafe, shop at the same grocery store, walk on the same streets. These are the times I really would like to move to a bigger city where there are more streets, more attractions, more stores, and more opportunities to experience difference in the daily life.

Anyways, I have broken my routine twice this weekend; first I went to shopping yesterday after cleaning the house. I needed to buy a couple of stuff for home maintenance that I kept delaying. It is done now. And as per today, I happened to notice a second-hand item market available on sunday one street below. I checked it out and bought a second hand purse, which I started using right away. It cost me 2 bucks but is in good quality. I made a mental note to check it every weekend.

Now back to my routine. hey, maybe reading some of the blogs will lift my boredom 🙂

cheers everyone

Breaking the routine – August 17, 2015

I left the office early to work at home – but then I decided to do something different. Thus I went to a cafe to work. I enjoyed not only making a change in my daily routine and exercising spontaneity, but also the bagel and the wonderful tea I have had at the cafe while also working.

Vola 🙂

This experience tells me that I can take, however little, steps to enrich my daily life and experience different things. Yes, I can.

My next challenge will be to enrich the activities I do and the places I go to.

breaking the routine – May 25, 2015

Being energized by the good weather and wishing to spend more time outdoors, I took a longer route to walk this afternoon. One part of the path goes thru a little park, there are new houses built at one junction with colourful sidings, and there is a thrifty store and a Shoppers store along the way. That is certainly a great route 🙂

breaking the routine – April 4, 2015

I talked to a pharmacist and based on my symptoms, she says I have flu.

Irony is that after 5-6 years, this year I had had the flu shot to get protected from it. Turns out it is not as effective as it was once assumed this year.

Ok – I have no problem with that; I know my body can fight this infection and help improve my immune system. So I am not complaining about fever, chills, muscle and headache, runny nose and sneezing. I am also not complaining about temporarily losing my taste buds; I could even eat sour kiwi fruit today. Or, lying/sitting on the couch, not doing what usually I would do. I am also not complaining about having 1-2 days off next week, until my symptoms disappear.

What other reason than having flu to break my routine? 🙂

stay well everybody.

breaking the routine – April 1, 2015

I did something unusual yesterday and took one of my books with me to my bed – I just lied on my belly for a couple of minutes, head positioned opposite of the wall, not necessarily reading the book, but savouring the moment of change and thinking “when it was that my belly had ever felt that way (i.e. crushed between my weight and the bed)”.

I may not have read the book as I had intended to, yet thinking the thought above tells me that I was totally in the moment and paid attention to my body sensations.

Good job!

breaking the routine – March 30, 2015

well; my list seems to be long today 🙂

1. I did walk from office to home (after a few weeks of taking the bus).

2. I woke up easily and almost joyful; not grumpy as I almost always am.

3. I did not stress myself over work and all worked very smoothly today.

4. I made a concious choice of not drinking the 3rd cup of coffee.

breaking the routine – March 28, 2015

I cannot say I did break my routine for today yet, but at least it is a constant idea in my mind. I know since I have been focusing on it constantly for some weeks now, I will eventually take steps to change. I just do not know when, or how.

But, an exciting prospect for me is to go to shopping this evening. I used to shop during the day – all the time actually. However, as soon as my laundry is done in an hour, I will take the bus, go to a shopping mall, and look around and purchase the items I need. I kind of missed seeing the city in late afternoon/in dark (walking back from office to home in late afternoon or in dark does not count). I want to see people around, in a relaxing environment as a shopping mall, and look around and say “there is life”. yes, there is life in the form of human activities, without thinking about the day that much, and I can actually enjoy it.

I am excited about this 🙂

breaking the routine – March 24, 2015

Ok.. albeit with no concious effort on my side, today I did break my daily routine by joining a visitor and two of my colleagues at a lovely dinner, filled with great and informal conversations.

That also means that I came home later than usual, and thus I am able to spend less time with the computer tonite than usual.

So, one event, two changes to my routine…. I love this 🙂

breaking the routine – March 22, 2015

I have not done anything differently today, but I am aware the things I have to change; here is a short list of things I would like to do:

1. spend less time with the computer

2. everyday eat healthy; every single day eat raw vegetables

3. walk more, take the stairs at the office, start the yoga again

4. think less about issues; breathe and relax

5. stretch everyday

6. each weekend, do something you do not usually do. Go to different stores and explore; buy a new book and read; cook something new; go to a movie; start a hobby; call someone I have not talked in a long time; write more poems or stories; shop at a different mall.

7. everyday; smile more; take a break at work; comb your hair (yes I usually do not do that..); bring lunch in; enjoy any activity other than sitting at the couch; engage in more meaningful activities; give hope to someone.

8. be okay with the idea of going to bed earlier so that I can get up early, too.

9. laugh more; sing more; relax more.

10. do something good for your body every..single..day..

breaking the routine – March 18, 2015

1. A software problem led me to work on a team-members’s computer this afternoon. That person was away today so I was able to handle the work. The keyboard, the mouse, and the monitor… they were all different.

2. Preparing a healthy meal without falling in the laziness trap for dinner is my best activity today.

3. For the first time I guess, I shovelled snow upon returning back to home in the evening. How come I did not get indifferent to the snow and how I did not feel lazy, I have no idea.

4. This morning, I made a choice to hum a song upon getting up! Hilarious, yet made me feel good! gotta do that more often 🙂

breaking the routine – March 17, 2015

With or without choice, here are the things I have done differently today;

1. For the first time in my life, this morning I spent around 45 min to open a passage to get out of my home. For the first time!! There was a lot of snow yesterday, but the city’s snow plows should have worked during the night/early morning to put the snow in the street to the front of my house.

2 I ate  salad after a month or so. Happy to eat raw vegetables as part of my new recent “healthy eating” choice.

3. I started real work at the office quite late – may be 3pm or so and continued to work till 7.30. I am surprised because my energy would usually drain in the afternoons. Must be the benefit of the long weekend 🙂

breaking the routine – March 16, 2015

I must admit, the snow storm today helped (or forced) me to do somethings new or different;

1. I was bored being at home and dealing with agitating work emails; so I decided to enjoy my day and took action. It did work well.

2. Due to the snow storm, I went to another coffee house but not my favourite one.

4. Due to the snow storm, shovelled quite a bit; this was the largest snow bank I needed to clean from the front of my house.

2. I watered my plants, which I would usually do at the weekends.

5. Made concious choice and ate some raw vegetables.

breaking the routine – March 14, 2015

I have not made any attempt to break my routine today, which is not pleasing me in any way. But one of my friends invited me to an Irish music band show, which I gladly accepted. It was fun to be with my friends, have nice and funny conversations, and to not spend my evening at home, as I usually do.

Friends are awesome!

They also gave me the idea that the theatre where the show was tonite actually have other activities all around the year. It is just 10 minutes away from home. How about that?

Friends are awesome in so many different ways!

breaking the routine – March 11, 2015

Okay.. today was another agitating day at the office. I seriously need to take a break and cool down…. I need to “break” that “agitation” cycle that has become a “routine” for me lately.

In terms of “breaking my routine” in life, I was not spontaneous or mindful enough to note the feeling of “I am doing it! I am breaking my routine!”. Just by chance while waiting the bus on the way back home, I took the bus that passes a little bit away from my house. That helped me to see a different route and also walk a little bit longer than usual. Most importantly, it helped me to go to the store and do my grocery shopping. I usually shop on thursday-saturday time frame. So let’s hope that was a change today that helped me to break my routine.

I really would like to break my routine and change things, activities, places, and thus experiences. I think I need to pay more attention to this exciting idea.

time to plan 🙂

breaking the routine (or not) – March 10, 2015

I have had a weird day; yesterday night I took my time browsing the net, writing, reading, and enjoying my time ; I had great time actually 🙂 only because I had decided I would not go to office today.

OK – so I took my time getting up as well – got up after 10 am. then the moment I stepped in my living room, I got bored; I did not want to go to my favourite cafe for breakfast, and I did not want to go for shopping!!

What happened to me I have no idea; so I went to office.

Now; is being spontaneous, i.e. going to the office today even though I had planned not to, considered “a change” or not?

If not, I have done nothing to break my routine.

weird. weird. weird day….

breaking the routine – March 9, 2015

here are the things I have done today to break the routine (until the evening):

1. I went to office quite late – after 10 am. It is because of the day-light saving time ending, but however unintentional it was, it was nevertheless was a difference from other days. So it deserves to be in this list 🙂

2. I left the office around 2pm – it is a bright and lovely day, although still chilly and we have a lot of ice and snow on the ground. I catched the bus in the last second (yay!) and went to my favourite book store, which I had not visited almost 2.5 months!

3. I walked a little bit today; from the book store to home, hiking up a hill. Good for my health, too 🙂

4. I had coffee and some sweets at my favourite cafe before I went to the bookstore. I hardly have sweets, but change is a change; helps me to think that it is okay to try new things.

I am sure there will be more to add to this list before I go to bed tonite! cannot wait 🙂

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