I most need to write this journal today; nothing seems to go right and I feel some strange type of being over-whelmed.
1. I am grateful for not losing my sanity yet, despite all the turbulence, issues, and decisions made. All work-related.
2. I am grateful for not resigning.
3. I am grateful for deciding again and again not to resign. Not without finding a job to replace what I already have. Some things are really going unkind and downhill. But no matter what, I cannot resign and leave. It is a good feeling to be able to leave everything behind, but this would not be a wise thing to do; there is me and other people who are dependent on me having a stable life and work. It is easy to quit but not easy to find a job that will satisfy me. Can I change myself? The way I think? The way I cannot handle things? What will the future bring to me? What am I doing right and what am I doing wrong?
4. I am grateful for sitting down and listening to a relaxing music. What the days will bring, I must take it. I just wished I did not have to find myself in these situations. But then what can I do? In all cases I try to be fair and just and do the right thing. Sometimes there are no good thing and sometimes there is too much pressure. I bend under this much of a pressure. I just hope not to bend more or unnecessarily.
5. I am grateful for one of our work being assessed favorably. I got the news in the morning. Our efforts are not completed yet, but at least this is a good sign. I hope the final decision will be favorable or at least manageable so that I can feel better.
6. I am grateful for hearing from an ex-trainee of mine who had worked with me something like 5 years ago. Hearing good memories and how their time under my supervision changed and improved their skills is always a delight 🙂
7. I am grateful for taking the bus in the morning and walking in the afternoon.
8. I am grateful for the coffee I have had at the office.
9. I am grateful for the internet connection and my computer that allow me to work and enjoy my time at home.
10. I am grateful for logically analyzing the difficult time I am going thru and realizing that this is a learning opportunity and it will help me with other experiences in the future.
11. I am grateful for not having anxiety or panic attacks, and keeping my cool.
12. I am grateful for slowing down this evening. Tomorrow is another day. This is a period of time that is supposed to happen.
13. I am grateful for breathing and having a healthy body.
14. I am grateful for trying.
15. I am grateful for having loved ones.
16. I am grateful for hearing bad news from others and realizing I am not in such a bad situation. This may sound selfish, but realizing that there are bigger problems in life brings me back to reality and big picture; I must keep my sanity and well being so that I can help others.
17. I am grateful for my blog for letting me vent my frustrations and confusions, interact with others, and express myself.