Why we time to time feel incapacitated? Inadequate? Inefficient? Not confident?
I realized the answer to this question lately.
There are so many things I (perhaps you too) must/have to:
I must work, do a good job with my job, respond to feedback or criticism, always come up with things better than yesterday, work with people (sometimes great, sometimes not), earn money, save money, clean, shop, interact with others, get up, sleep, feed myself, have hobbies, think, make decisions, have dreams, have plans, take steps, prevent failure, must accept failure, learn, teach, talk, stand up, sit down, keep quiet, cook, water the plants, call people, check emails, support people, express myself, exercise, eat well, drop weight, visit doctors, handle letters and bills, support and pacify myself during hard times, forgive, forget, and remember, ask for help, give thanks and credits, celebrate birthdays, remember good things, deal with bad things, move on no matter what, have good physical and emotional health, eat this or that, not eat this or that, be there when others need me, smile, laugh, be kind and understanding, keep up with things going on regardless of whether or not I agree with them, and keep my sanity while all the other stuff around me are more or less affecting me (take the news, which are never good, or the inflation and economy as examples).
You know that the list above is long.
I feel there are too many things requesting my time and energy. And I am one person with the same 24 hours a day. It is impossible to do everything all the time. It is impossible to make everyone happy.
I feel incapacitated and inefficient when there are too many demands on my energy and time.
I noticed lately that I also lose confidence as I keep saying “I cannot do this, I could not do this, I could not do all, etc.”during these times. My mind rightfully saying this event-by-event finally believes in these statements.
I do not deserve this. I do not need this. Nobody does.
They say we should strive for enjoying our lives. They say we can prioritize.
Let me tell you something; we cannot prioritize all the time; sometimes there are more than one thing that needs to be taken care of at the same.
And it is not possible to enjoy our lives much when there are so many things that require attention, often immediately. Or when we are dealing with important issues in our lives.
And do me a favor and tell me not about the willpower.
Many people are quick to judge the person in front of them. Without knowing much about the details of their lives, issues, dreams, objectives they are striving to achieve, and problems to overcome.
It is easy to judge. It is not easy to understand.
Tell me, for example, how am I supposed to work acceptionally, cook and eat healthy, exercise daily, lose weight consistently, take care of home all happily and as if there is nothing else I can be bothered about? As if my entire life is these?
So next time when I am talking to someone and wanna say “you should…”, I will stop myself.
I will first believe that they are doing their best under the circumstances. I will not dictate what they must do or how they must do with their lives. Whether they must lose weight, save more, exercise more, eat healthier etc. I can educate or support them if they want these, but I will make sure I do not sound like imposing these to them.
I just wish others would do the same.