Tomato, sourdough bread, and I

Slices of tomato sprinkled with salt and a piece of sourdough is the best breakfast ever 🙂

This might be the only time that I really enjoy tomato.

Life!

Have a great Saturday 🙂

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my weekend breakfast is back! :)

I have got my bagel and coffee at a nearby cafe this morning 🙂

Like I used to have over years/decades every Saturday and Sunday morning 🙂

Toasted bagel and coffee are my favorite breakfast. I have had temporarily stopped having them in late fall to cover a portion of the money I used to purchase my sewing machine. I think I have done my best and I have done it for long; according to my calculations, 3 months of breakfast-fasting made me save around $100. It is not a huge amount but I know every penny counts and it was valuable when I saved. Now, however, I am claiming my breakfast back so that I  can enjoy my life and my weekends a little bit more:)

Since ending #TheleanSpendingMonth challenge yesterday, I have been feeling good about money not being my primary focus in life. I can choose to do that again in the future, temporarily save money, but right now, I gotta be true to myself and my needs.

Whatever you do, make sure your money works for you, not against you.

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how did I breathe the same air for two days?

Do our homes aerate themselves, or do we keep breathing the same stale air over and over?

I have 6-7 plants that are supposed to generate oxygen during night, but I am assuming our homes are not air-sealed and I hope there is some exchange is happening here and there.

Otherwise, it would mean that in the last 50 hours or so, I have just breathed the same air because since Friday evening I have not left my home!!!

I do not know how that happened! Even in snow days I would get out of home, even for a short time.

I am surprised.

Very surprised.

I know I was supposed to get out and shop on Saturday, but it was heavily raining that day. So I stayed in, cleaned the house, did the laundry. Okay….

Today?

Why did I not get out today?

I do not know.. But what I know is that this is possibly the first time in the last handful decades that I have stayed in for two days straight.

I hope I will not do this again – it does not feel right.

Time to start my weekend breakfast at the nearby cafe again – they almost motivated me to get out and made me enjoy my day right away….. I missed the smell of the coffee and the taste of the bagel….. I missed carrying the cup out with me and drinking it while walking…. I missed feeling the fresh air on my cheeks and nostrils… I missed being with the life that is happening outside.

Lessons learnt and over.

 

 

breaking the routine – July 28, 2016

 

Mostly because of the jet-lag I have, I have been getting up around 7 am this week (which is quite early for a late-night bird like myself).

Upon getting up this morning, honestly I did want to spend time in a nearby cafe rather than going to my office. I contemplated a little bit. I thought it was too early for cafe to open, so I spent time browsing the internet at home.

This is to me quite a change as I for over decades felt bad if I had not left the house in 10 min of getting up….

I loved this change that I willingly experienced this morning….

It tells me that I may be okay with spending time at home in the mornings. I can prepare breakfast for myself, for example, which I have hardly done. At least in the last few decades or so, except on horrible snow storms…..Would that not be nice, friends?

Eventually I got bored and took the bus to office at around 9 am. At that point I was feeling hungry, so I treated myself with a cup of coffee and muffins/tea biscuit. I know… I know… Not the bit of healthiest breakfast, but, hey, it felt good and I am glad that I was not lazy and willingly went to the cafe located at my work-place.

Both of these out-of-routine experiences have been good for me to see that sometimes, I am really relax and can get out of my comfort/boring routine zone.

And can enjoy my moments 🙂

breaking the routine

Taking advantage of the fact that I have got up at 8 am and I had 2 hour before my appointment in the morning, I decided to go get coffee and bagel at a nearby cafe.

I took my time savoring each bit and after that I even walked 30 min to my appointment. There was no slush on the roads, little ice here and there. So walking was not a problem.

Come to think about it, I may as well walk to office every morning (as long as it does not rain or snow). And, if i get up early like today, I may first have my breakfast at the cafe and then walk to my office. That (that is, having breakfast during the work days) would be so unusual of me, but  guess I would like it.

I feel good about this.

today’s indulgences

  1. two cups of coffee and two bagels toasted just right and with lots of butter. Warm and crispy at the same time. What a delicacy it was 🙂
  2. binge-watching a TV show. Of course, it is a romantic comedy. Just the right type 🙂
  3. yoga/stretching class: lots of breathing and back stretching. I felt all of my back muscles tonite, elongating all of them.
  4. lots of rest – no work today. Life is good 🙂

healthy life – style journal, Sept 19, 2015

Awkward day 🙂

breakfast: hard boiled egg, coffee with cream and brown sugar

lunch: totally passed that out – I was working at home (house chores + work on computer)

late- afternoon snack: 1 apple

dinner: fish with veggies, fried onions, and strawberry short-cake. Ok – I went out to dinner with a friend and that was an amazing, decent meal 🙂 Also very pampering; why did I eat the cake? it would be better without it, but hey..

late-night snack (added after the post): 2 small cucumbers. I feel a lot better if I do consume raw veggies. So I ate cucumbers even though I was not hungry. I kinda believe that they will neutralize (or reduce) the effect of the short cake I had at the dinner. Right or not, I cannot know 🙂

(added once again after the post): I also ate 4 slices of whole wheat bread and 40 grms of cheese late at night. I believe the cake increased my appetite – will be careful not to have desserts again 🙂

Exercise: walking 10 min in the morning, and 30 min at late evening after the dinner.

random thoughts

I feel like writing about small indulges that make me feel pampered 🙂

Considering that the only expenses bigger than $1,000 were my washer and dryer (excluding my flights to visit my family and my house), I guess I am doing good pampering myself while also looking after my funds.

So here is a list that I can come up with now:

1. Having breakfast: I love having breakfast at the weekends! there is something nourishing about it and the fact that I get to have it on the weekends only, it is my way of start celebrating the weekend. Breakfast does not need to be too expensive (though it  depends on your preferences. Nevertheless, breakfast and lunch are often times much cheaper than dinners).

2. A good book that captivates my interest. There is nothing like a great book that makes your day enjoyable, time frozen, and mind and heart filled with new knowledge, emotions, and empathy. 90% of my books are purchased from second hand bookstores or charity. The only book I have had pricey was a project management book I needed to study as part of a certificate program (time to sell it now). Borrowing books from libraries, of course, does not cost a dime – give it a try.

3. Chicken noodle soup: is there any other food that nourishes the body while also relaxes the mind? What is the cost of this? $3?

4. Taking photos: that is a really fun activity. Other than the cost of the camera and print outs, the cost of all the memories and lovely pictures recorded is basically $0. Plus, can we really put a price on recording memories?

5. A good cup of coffee every once a while. I love caramel or maple syrup added coffee every once a while. There is a cafe that do these in a shopping mall I go time to time. A great way to award myself.

6. Food: food is always a tricky material for indulges. I happen to reward myself a lot by food, especially pastries and bread (though I am trying to limit them lately). My new year eve meal is almost always some pastry I make at home with beef and pastry sheets. Even though I love this meal, I am glad that I do not bake it more than twice a year.

7. Movies: Although I have not done this in years, seeing a movie at a theater is a lovely experience.

8. Tea, apple cider, and hot chocolate: whether black, green, or herbal, tea has a calming effect. On cold winter days, in addition to tea, hot chocolate and apple cider are my favorite beverages.

9. Leisure walking: Although I do not do this as often as I wish to; when I do, I enjoy it very much. Especially those that occur spontaneously where I do not before hand plan for the route, take my time to enjoy and examine the scenery (even looking at different houses and their characteristics can be an interesting activity).

10. Going through the stores at the airport: One of my favorite activities! I love looking at the merchandise and the variety of items. This is particularly nice when the airport is in a different country. As you can guess, the books sold are the ones that get my most attention. but hey, they are great 🙂

11. Browsing the stores: I have a negligible habit of impulse buying thus I am not afraid of going thru an entire store, examining and exploring the items. It is one of the meditative experiences for me when I truly focus and thus get a mental break from daily thoughts and tiredness. Thanks to this activity, I have discovered many different food (e.g. savory I am so fond of) that were not a part of my regular diet.

12. Taking a road trip: I love it when we drive on a car together with friends or family. Have you noticed that the conversations are different, lovelier during road trips? Especially when we all are going to places that we have not explored before. Whenever I have a chance to suggest an activity, i suggest a road trip 🙂

13. Music: Music is… awesome! I listen to it while at home and office. The free music channels and youtube makes it basically free. Could not be happier 🙂

14. Writing my blog and reading other blogs: Very amusing, relaxing, informative, and affordable activity. Okay I need a computer and an internet connection to do so, but these two help with so many activities (listening to music, watching videos, doing research, learning, booking flights and hotels, etc.) that their cost comes really low. Plus writing helped me to learn a lot about myself – how about that as a great benefit?

15. Planning, planning, planning: I have a thing for planning for goals I would like to tackle. Coming up with a question and then designing a step-by-step strategy to reach the goal is always exciting for me. Yep I do mess up with executing the plans sometime (my recent healthy life-style plan that I blew is a good example), but eventually all go well.

16. Sleeping in: every once a while there comes a weekend morning that makes me sleep till noon. This does not happen to much, but I believe it happens when my body needs it. Often times, it is relaxing.

17. Sleeping late: there is something peaceful about late-nights, some kind of freedom… Friday and Saturday nights are my freedom nights when I can stay up till late, reading, writing, or watching TV. Serenity..

18. Spending time in my yard: I have a small yard with a couple of trees; lilacs are particularly my favorites. Seeing them in summer is a beautiful feeling. The same thing with just being in the yard and listening to the sound of trees – the soothing whoosh their leaves make with wind…..

19. Scents: I love my perfume but due to scent-free policy of my workplace, I only wear it at the weekends. Its scent is so lovable I am glad they produced it! The same thing with candles and soaps. I have a soap that leaves a nice scent after each hand-wash. I would not change it at all. When comes to candles, I did not buy lately but I make sure to check them at the stores. One of my favorite one has honey-cinnamon scent.

20. Wearing my best shoes: I am a person of habit, so I keep wear the same things weeks after weeks. Yet, every once a while wearing a different outfit or my favorite shoes makes a difference in my mood 🙂

21. Grocery shopping: I love grocery shopping. Finding fresh produce is a rare and often cheerful activity for me (where I live, fresh produces are hard to find).

22. Shopping after the holidays: this is the season for shopping!. The sales right after the Christmas are unprecedented. Boy, do I stock up? 🙂

23. Thrifty store visits: Even though I often end up not buying as much as I plan to, I love browsing through the shelves in thrifty stores, especially the kitchen items and the books. A good book I certainly will buy. The kitchen items are mostly an interest; to see all the old stuff… I have a thing for old things. They are different and very interesting for me.

24. Ethnic stores: There are so many different things in these stores that I make regular trip to one close to my house. It is a little food store where I can find the most interesting spices, hot sauces, and dried food. Plus, that store is incredibly cheap. I wonder why that is.

25. Soft facial towels: These are priceless; there is nothing nicer at the end of a busy day to come home, wash my hands and face, and feel the soft towel on my skin. I would highly recommend you to get a thick, slushy towels that is a delight to use.

26. Creams and moisturizers: my hands require hand cream throughout the day. In winter, it is almost essential to moisturize the rest of the body. I am grateful for these creams and lotions that not only nourish my body but also smell good 🙂

27. Time spent with family and friends: Do I have to talk about it? It is the favorite activity of many people. Are we not lucky?

I hope your list of things that make you feel pampered is longer than this.

Go pamper yourself in this beautiful Saturday! 🙂

healthy-life style journal – analysis of the eating habits – August 31, 2015

The simple truth is that there are so many details that I need to be thinking all at the same time (work, house, my life-style and relationships) that my mind, whether I like it or not, prioritizes to work on specific issues and targets. And you can also relate, since I have a limited capacity of mental work, depth, or hours to focus on things during the day, these two reasons, as expected, factors in delayed tasks and unfixed issues.

Well, while there is nothing much I can do to increase my mental limits or the hours in a day, there is one thing I am capable of doing (at least time to time): it is to focus on one thing, examine and clarify the issue, reflect on ways to tackle it, design a strategy to take steps, and monitor the outcome after each steps. This “plan” is well implemented if it is clear, set, and remembered (sadly if I fail to remember my plan, it is usually one thing that sends all my efforts in to the garbage).

That is why I like to write, draw, flow-chart, or simply discuss with others my plans; it focuses me, helps me to reflect in more detail, clarifies my mind, and most importantly, makes me remember it.

You are probably aware of all of these based on your experience or education; I simply need to write them so that I focus, design, and remember my plan – so bear with me when I tell you the very well-known story of planning.

Anyways, now that I have the motivation to finally take care of the long-waiting issues, namely healthy-eating and exercise, I need not only a plan, but also something that reminds me about them each day. That is why I am opening the “healthy-life style journal” page, where I will record my daily efforts, accomplishments, weight loss (if ever – grrrr), or struggles and frustrations.

So, what is my plan for healthy eating? I have been thinking about the pattern of my diet that I think is useful in designing my new, healthier diet:

1. Canned food: I noticed that I eat too much canned food (canned beans, chickpeas, lentils, and fish). Too much of a something cannot be good (in this case the exposure and possible contamination of the food with the can chemicals). Second, since they present themselves as affordable and easy meals, I prefer them but that also keeps me away from making an effort to cook and eat a variety of foods. So from today on, I implement a shopping freeze for canned food.

2. Wheat-products: I know what does not agree with my body and makes me gain weight or accumulate water in my body: bread, bagel, or any other wheat products that are conveniently sold in cafes or stores. From today on, I eliminate bagels and others from my diet and limit my bread consumption to one bread/week.

3. Cheese: if consumed in small amounts over time, cheese is very likable. Yet, I happen to eat the entire block in two days if I can. Thus, from today on I limit cheese consumption to 50 grs/a day maximum.

4. White rice and pasta: Nope; they make me bloated and eat more and more. I hardly eat both of these, so I am in good track.

5. Sweets: I do not have a sweet-tooth; thus sweets are not a problem for me (the majority of the time).

6. Candy, chocolate, ice cream, soft drinks, chips etc: I am lucky in the sense that I only occasionally consume these.

7. Meat and chicken: I am not a big meat eater; yet I kind of think that the lack of adequate levels of protein food in my diet may be contributing to my weight gain. So, I decided to eat more of these.

8. Veggies and fruits: I usually consume a limited variety of veggies and more so of the fruits; I think I am malnutritioning and thus need to bring in diversity to the food I am having.

9. Eating pattern: I usually do not have breakfast (except the weekends), light or no lunch, and multiple dinners in the evening. It is not surprising that I am having multiple dinners; one of the dietitians had said long time ago that such an eating style would starve the body during the day and prompt the body to eat a lot later to compensate for all the calories that are missed earlier in the day. So, I gotta start having breakfast like any other person, prepare and pack (or buy) my lunch, and bring snacks to my office. I also need to cook at home nutritious meals.

Now, time to plan.

to be continued

random thoughts

What a beautiful day 🙂

The handyman fixed my faucet locks and drained my water boiler – they recommend it every year, though the handyman said he did not bother about it at home 😉 Well, that is alright; next year I can get servicing, see whether there is anything that needs to be alarming or going bad about it. Someone had said if I get it serviced, it could last 7 years, if not then change it every 5 years. Sounds good to me; I will get it serviced in the 6th year and get professional opinion.

I made a great change his morning – I went to another cafe for breakfast. Yep, I still ate bagels but this time I have got it with cream cheese, not butters. Change felt good, though I still need to find an healthier alternative to bagels. Does not matter how much I like something (e.g. my favorite cafe), it is good to give a break time to time; it was getting too familiar, too routine. I am happy with my decision to go to somewhere else this morning.

Otherwise, how am I doing? Good. I had a healthy lunch. But most importantly, I went through my kitchen drawers and the pantry. Those teas and spices which are beyond their expiry day are now rightfully in the garbage. I have found 4 cans of food somewhere, 36 rolls of paper towel (why did I keep buying them??), 15 sponges to be used (again, why bought??), an incredible amount of cleaning clothes, and garbage and recycling bags that I had forgotten I had… And, how about the facial tissues that I thought I was running out of? Yep…..

You got the idea; we need to go thru our stuff time to time to know what we have what we need. I seem to buy stuff (like paper towels) out of habit, which now is mounting in my kitchen. And, the fact that I did not look at them carefully and thought some of them were  toilet papers,  I also realized that I am running out of toilet papers.

I have a lot of dried food: dried beans, chickpeas, rice, cracked wheat, dried peppers, okra, and eggplant. I need to, I want to integrate them into my weekly menu so that I can consume them, not waste them. Yesterday I came up with the idea of buying a pressure cooker. It will help with my time and especially with cooking the beans that I keep eating out of the can. As soon as I do my research and decide which one to purchase, I am getting one.

It felt really good to be going thru the stuff, dumping unusable ones, and noticing what I have. I so far did this with the bedrooms, kitchen, and two of the bathrooms. I now am onto the living room, boy, which is gonna be though 🙂 Books and all the paperwork/stationary items that need to be sorted are giving me the chills 🙂 I also need to decide which books and CDs to keep, which ones to donate; that is not gonna be easy, but I will do this 🙂

cheers everyone

joy journal – August 16, 2015

  1. I am grateful for getting up before 9 am. Days when I get up that early make me feel like there are so many stuff I can do within that day. I like this feeling. Often times though I have no idea how to fill the day…
  2. I am grateful for going to my favorite cafe and eating my favorite bagels and drinking coffee, while also surfing on the net. It was a delightful morning.
  3. I am grateful for doing grocery shopping this morning. I bought only a small amount of stuff, knowing that I can always visit the store should I need any items (it is 5 min away from my house). I felt abundant once I got some produce.
  4. I am grateful for yogurt. I time to time consume yogurt regularly and enjoy it highly. I had run out of it yesterday but was able to get two containers today. It is such a healthy food – I seriously think that it neutralize some of the toxins…
  5. I am grateful for eating an apple, salad and a healthy meal today.
  6. I am grateful for starting to declutter my home today. It is going well, I feel like I gotta declutter even harder, and am excited about the feeling it gives. Relief in so many different levels…
  7. I am grateful for finding items/clothes that I need while decluttering. It looks like I have forgotten what I have.. But then if they are not where I can see them, how can I remember every single item? Lessons learnt 🙂
  8. I am grateful for aerating my home today. Fresh air is awesome. It also cools down the upstairs, making sleeping easier and comfortable 🙂
  9. I am grateful for today being a sunday. I was free to do whatever I want to do and I enjoyed relaxing at home very much.
  10. I am grateful for turning the TV off. I am listening to the music rather. It is a first for me – in the last few days I was not paying much attention to the programs anyways; so why to keep it working for no reason? I am proud of myself for doing this (I always have had TV on to have a background noise – until this time; who said “never say never”? 🙂 )
  11. I am grateful for deciding to dump my VCRs and CDs as well.
  12. I am grateful for the little mat I have found today – it fit so well to is new place I am awed 🙂
  13. I am grateful for the trees in my yard. When they whoosh with the wind, it is so calming.. I would not buy a house that did not have a yard or no mature trees in it.
  14. I am grateful for flossing today 🙂
  15. I am grateful for living in a quite neighborhood.
  16. I am grateful for deciding to not throw a birthday party for myself. I want to, I really do. I want to have my friends around, eat, and laugh. But then the idea of shopping and cooking makes me highly hesitant. I made a deal with myself – I will not have the party but will give myself a gift. Something unique, original. something that will make me remember this beautiful age.
  17. I am grateful for all the books that I have at home but did not read. I thought about the books today extensively because I know I will purge them quite a bit too. But more than that I know that there a bunch of books that I have never read. These books excite me as I can grab any of them anytime and satisfy my need of reading without making new purchases. Very good 🙂 All I have to do is to continue my decluttering process and identify those books.
  18. I am grateful for the foods I eat, clothes I wear, furniture, laptop, internet, TV, cable I use, water I drink, and the air I breathe.
  19. I am grateful for reading a blog by a terminal cancer patient. She brings in a different vision to terminal disease; rather than resisting the idea of being terminal, she accepts it and sees the positive in every single moment. She sounds pretty sincere, refuse to be a victim of “why (i got this disease)”, and that is why I believe we need more patients like her providing their view. While I do not like cancer and deaths from cancer, if (and only if) it is inevitable having some kind of peace or acceptance around it very much lessens the “power” of cancer over us. That is what I thought after reading that post – that cancer had no power on that person. And I liked that. Very much indeed….

joy journal – August 15, 2015

I have not written my joy journal for quite sometime (due to vacation). I missed expressing gratitude and the good feeling coming out of it so much.

1. I have many things to be grateful about the time I spent with my family – there is no short way to express all of them here. I cherish every memory and every smile, hug, and kind word. I am grateful that my family members are well and sound; loving and supporting; and genuinely interested in my well-being. Thank you all of you for being there for me.

2. I am grateful for my job. I have gotta give its credit; it gives me a sense of purpose, excites, and provides me with livelihood (despite the challenges and occasional crises that I face). Thanks to my job, I get to see around the world, live in different cities, meet with people with diverse backgrounds, and get insurance. Insurances are important too – providing a sense of security if something out of ordinary occurs in life.

3. I am grateful for my house. It is in a quite neighborhood that is close to downtown as well as my work place. It is true that the prospect of the serious repairs (e.g. the foundation problem I probably have) has been giving me the chills and depressed me beyond my imagination; that I cannot develop trust to the previous owners/renovators, which prevents from feeling peaceful in it; and that I constantly find myself checking for potential issues and thus further create anxiety in myself. But then what can I do? I did not know there may be problem in my house. I did not know when I purchased my home that houses can be fragile and they require constant maintenance. I did not know that it would take me a long time to accept these and then finally find peace in this acceptance. I have not still fully accepted these and thus am emotionally suffering deeply, but I know eventually one day I will give up the resistance and glide into acceptance gracefully. I thank my house-troubles for this; reminding me that it is a process and I am going thru it.

4. I am grateful for my retirement plans, however small they may be. It is true that I could have saved and invested more for my retirement and in the past I have had very obvious expenses that I could have avoided. Yet past is past and I can only look at the present and the future. I have been giving serious thoughts about budgeting lately (mostly motivated by the expenses related to the repairs at home) and have progressed quite satisfactorily. I have a healthy and abundant budget that will take care of my fixed as well as variable but essential expenses that I have been implementing in the last 2-3 months. I know I can do better once I feel comfortable with it. It is awesome to feel this hope and confidence. It is awesome to know that I am making a difference in my financial situation, however small it may be.

5. I am grateful for summer; where I am usually is cool in summers (15-25 C). But since I came back from vacation, it has been hot, sunny, and lovely. A perfect summer 🙂

6. I am grateful for the document I have to finish till monday evening. I have made quite a progress with it yesterday and today. Seeing that I can work effectively under mild stress by taking it lightly (the benefit of having a wonderful vacation prior to it) is one thing, but more importantly the fact that I had to do it in such a short time is what helped me to adapt to work so soon and to stop feeling the emotions associated with leaving my family.

7. I am grateful for my blog. Writing is therapeutic, reading other posts and interacting with fellow bloggers are fun, interesting, and informative. It certainly helps me feel better.

8. I am grateful for the breakfast I have had this morning together with a friend/colleague of mine. I had my usual bagels and coffee after 6 weeks of vacation and a wonderful conversation with my friend, which felt great 🙂

9. I am grateful for walking to and from the coffee shop and sweating a long the way.

10. I am grateful for my new little fryer that makes fried eggs so tasty, so different 🙂

11. I am grateful for doing the laundry and aerating my home today. No I am not cleaning my place this week. My friend who house-sat while I am away already took care of this. I am feeling blessed.

12. I am grateful for being keen about starting a huge decluttering at home. Yep! I have been meaning to do it for quite sometime. I will start easy with bathrooms (which are easier to declutter) and slowly move to the other parts of the house. I will open every single box, purse, bag, and drawer. I will sort things out generously, collect the usable items for donation, and dump the rest. I really need this – I feel like I am carrying a huge and unnecessary weight on my shoulders. This feeling gotta go. I am also excited for the possibility that I will find out many stuff that I had forgotten I have had but are useful or valuable. cannot wait to rediscover my stuff 🙂

13. I am grateful for my couch that provides me with a comfortable place to sit on and write this journal.

14. I am grateful for my laptop, internet connection, cable, TV, phone and all others that help me have a comfortable and engaging life at home.

15. I am grateful for all the stuff I have brought from my vacation. Many of them are the gifts that are given to me by my family members, which I love and cherish. Seeing them around make me feel extra grateful and happy.

16. I am grateful for the music I am listening to right now. It is relaxing and something I have not had heard before and thus is interesting.

17. I am grateful for today being Saturday. I can enjoy it as I please without going to the office.

18. I am grateful for my joy journal and my continuous wish to write in it.

19. I am grateful for life.

20. I am grateful for being grateful.

joy journal – June 14, 2015

I have not written in my joy journal for some time. What better way to start feeling positive, grateful, and even happy than writing, remembering, and cherishing the wonderful things, memories, thoughts, and people happening in my life?

1. I am grateful for wanting to write on my journal. I am grateful that I crave to do so to feel great; anytime available 0$ anti-depressant 🙂

2. I am grateful for a nice weekend; my mood was not bad, I was not exhausted or bored – it was just fine.

3. I am grateful for the breakfast in the morning. I went to a different cafe this time, closer to my favorite bookstore. I took my time to go thru the magazines and books (one of them was about Italian food), which was pretty refreshing. I feel a lot better and fully focus on while reading; it is one of the best ways to relax my mind.

4. I am grateful for the time I spent in the bookstore – this time too I did not find an exciting book (or, is it my book-purchase freeze that makes me difficult to choose books?), but certainly the time spent there was well worth it.

5. I am grateful for comfortably walking this morning; great exercise.

6. I am grateful for buying myself a lunch; in the afternoon I was actually pretty bored and wanted to get out of the house. I was also hungry – so I bought myself a meal. Next time, instead of two pieces of fish, I should order one; it was too much 🙂

7. I am grateful for continuing with my budget this week too; I notice that the majority of the expenses occur during Friday-Monday. This somehow makes me nervous; what happens if unexpected expenses show up till the end of week? I really do not want to pass my maximum weekly allowance.

8. I am grateful that I get nervous about my expenses and reaching the maximum amount of weekly allowance – that means I am conscious of my spending and how much funds I let myself use during the week. This feeling I am sure will help me to control the expenses in the remaining days.

9. I am grateful for the healthy dinner I have had; boiled cauliflower coated with garlicky yogurt, topped up by chilly pepper stir-fried in olive oil. It makes my mouth watered! The majority of you may not be familiar with the garlicky and salted (depending on your preferences); I admit that it may not be appealing for everyone – but garlic helps reduce the blood pressure in some people (including myself) and the health benefits of the yogurt I am sure are well known.

10. I am grateful for the relaxing day; it lightly rains today, a little it grey too. But that makes it only a perfect day to spend at home, relaxing, reading, and watching TV.

11. I am grateful for my books; I have found many books about financial and retirement planning that I had forgotten I have had. I have enjoyed re-reading one of them today and I am eyeing another one. I love reading about savings and investment 🙂

12. I am grateful for removing extra grass from my yard.

13. I am grateful for all the food, clothes, shoes, and furniture I have at home. They give me protection and comfort and a feeling of abundance; while following a budget and saving funds, I found one tricky thing is to not let yourself feeling deprived. Identifying what we already have may help with this feeling.

14. I am grateful for the visit I will pay to my family in July – I have some time to finish time-sensitive work till then. Then I can enjoy my full-month of vacation with family and friends, hopefully while not thinking or dealing with work.

15. I am grateful for increasingly wanting to declutter my house. I have so many stuff stuffed here and there; especially the storage area. Even the things around may need to go; the other day I threw away a nail polisher, which changed its colour from transparent to yellowish….. Cannot be still good; I am glad I have noticed it and dumped it. I wonder though how many more stuff I have that are not functional or needed/wanted anymore? Some……

16. I am grateful for my couch and the blanket that make my sitting and reading so comfortable, warm, and relaxing..

17. I am grateful for my house for being mine, old but spacious, having a great insulation and ventilation system, and feeling like home to me… despite its expensive problems.. it is not its fault, is it? I gotta start having more positive feelings about my house..

18. I am grateful for realizing I may be at the beginning of a middle-age crisis….. Time to re-prioritize what I want from my life and how to reach them; drop those not useful or hurtful as well. One life and it is passing really quick..

19. I am grateful for being grateful.

joy journal – June 6, 2015

1. I am grateful for the beautiful day today – a little bit foggy, a little bit chilly, but nevertheless a nice weekend day.

2. I am grateful for sleeping well yesterday. I slept till 11 am this morning, a little bit unusual for me, yet the rest of the day was all right.

3. I am grateful that I had cleaned my home yesterday. This week I left my office early and yesterday I took the opportunity to clean the house in the afternoon. That would mean I had the day free today. Yay!

4. I am grateful for the breakfast; I did not bring in my laptop to work this time. That allowed me to go thru the magazines and just relax. I took a couple of minutes to just gaze out and try to decide what to do with my day: I was not rushing, which is a great change 🙂

5. I am grateful for going to the office and doing some work. I feel good and my mind, which was bored by not working lately, is satisfied.

6. I am grateful for taking the bus today and walking in the afternoon back from the office. I am feeling good 🙂

7. I am grateful for the grocery shopping. I think I have not done one in the last week or so. I bought fresh produce, a different type of bread, canned foods (lentils and beans; my favourites as salad), snacks for the office, and so on.

8. I am grateful for now being 7 pounds lighter compared to 3-4 weeks ago. I am assuming it is because of the conscious eating and limiting the bread to some extend. I am still cautious and not getting too excited as I know my weight can fluctuate 3-5 pounds within a day. But this does not mean that I am not motivated to continue to eat well and keep checking the progress. Who knows, maybe this time, I have a chance to drop these pounds.

9. I am grateful for the peaceful Saturday evening and night. It is relaxing and free of issues.

10. I am grateful for seeing the house across from the bus stop today, which is being renovated. They stripped off the front of the house and I can see all the woods and the rest. For some reason, this gave me strength – it does not look as complex as I thought it would be. I am feeling more positive towards the renovations in my house now.

11. I am grateful for all the books I have, which I can look at or start reading to fill the night with interesting information or stories.

12. I am grateful for all the shoes, clothes, furniture and food I have at home that make my life easy, safe, decent, and abundant. I used to stock up durable items whenever I had a chance. I am not stocking up lately but I already have many clothes, shoes, items, and food that I can keep going with. Acknowledging their presence gives a huge “I am abundant” feeling.

13. I am grateful for opening an Excel sheet and keeping tracking my everyday expenses in different categories. I note that I am much more conscious about my spendings now.

14. I am grateful for not going to shopping malls. I want to. I want to check the thrifty stores as well; they are so affordable and contain so many interesting items. But I will not do that for now. I have everything I need. Maybe in a couple of months I can go check them again.

15. I am grateful for tomorrow being Sunday; I have no particular plans so I will take it easy and maybe walk a little bit. If the weather permissive (raining outside now).

16. I am grateful for drinking tea whenever I am in my office, walking from office to home almost always, making a huge effort to take the bus rather than the cab, shopping when required rather than once a week, eating more apples and less bread, walking sometimes just for the love of walking, feeling energized by the good weather, enjoying my office and sight from the window, keeping a modest life-style and being interested in using my money for the best, seeing a positive difference in my chequeing account in the last few weeks, being motivated to do a better job in terms of healthy eating, exercise, and conscious spending, loving my hair for getting longer and combing it time to time :), and dutifully cleaning and aerating my home every week. Boy, I am doing really good 🙂

17. I am grateful for being peaceful and grateful today.

random thoughts

Interesting day. First I slept till 11 am, and then I went to office to work 🙂

yes, I have. And I did not forget to have my breakfast and coffee at the cafe and talk to my family before that.

I took the bus! I had a mental wrestling going on for some time though – of course I did not want to wait for the bus. Of course I thought “I deserve to make my life easy and comfy – so let’s take the cab”. Eventually though I took the bus and I am proud of myself 🙂

When I reached the office, it was already past 2pm, yet in 3 hours, I managed to pass a dead-block. These are the tasks that I dread doing, yet are essential to move forward. All I had to do was to find the file and open it. That is. I am the queen of procrastination 🙂

I had read somewhere that the best remedy against procrastination is to not thinking about the work/task/activity we dread, but just aiming to do the activity that would start it. The author of that book had given the example of a lady who did not like to floss. The solution to her problem was just to aim to hold the floss at hand. The lady then happily flossed once the floss was ready! I always found this story fascinating 🙂

In my case, it was finding and opening a computer file. Never forced myself to do the work, though I knew once I opened the file I would go full-speed looking its data and analysing/recording it. And that is what happened.

I know the rest of the work will come – I am writing an important report about one of our projects. I am excited about it because of the results we have obtained. I am in the most dreaded part of the report, which is checking the results for correctness and completeness once more. I am half-way there. Once I do that, It will feel just great.

happy Saturday everyone 🙂

joy journal – May 24, 2015

1. A truly exciting and blissful day; it was sunny (although windy too) and energizing. I am grateful for every moment of this day.

2. I am grateful for not sleeping in late. I got up around 9 am, which is great. At first it did not feel so exciting, since the breakfast place does not open till 10am, but eventually I made it to 10 am and then the rest of the day was long and full of things to do!

3. I am grateful for the breakfast and the chats I have had with the staff. They are young bright people who are just going thru school and part-time job at the same time. It is kind of difficult; I remember my own years. but they seem to do both just well and are incredibly nice people to interact with.

4. I am grateful for shopping and getting shocked by the receipt!! It was not too much, but then it was.. I liked the fact that I reacted negatively to spending that much today. This tells me that I am really in the “conscious spending” mode and I am very happy with that. I am extra grateful that I left one item prior to checking out.

5. I am grateful for buying the glues my sister wanted for so long. I am also grateful for the shea butter hand cream I bought for myself; it smells good and feels very smooth. It was above my budget but I bought it anyways to treat myself. Conscious spending does not mean I need to constrain myself to the degree that I cannot enjoy my own money, especially for something that is good for my body.

6. I am grateful for the healthy lunch and dinner I have had today. yes I have eaten bread too (which I am trying to cut), but at least I have also eaten veggies, either raw or canned.

7. I am grateful for spending time in the yard, getting mesmerized and fascinated by the young trees, checking the seeded areas for growth, and removing some dandelion out. I could sit whole day out, breathing fresh air, listening to the trees and birds, and feeling the sun warming my bones. I am lucky I am to have a yard and I am very thankful for that.

8. I am grateful for walking twice today; first while going to the store to purchase stuff and then in the afternoon. The nice thing about nice weather is the energy and wish to be outside it gives. I could not help myself but put the shoes on and went out. walked to another grocery store maybe 10 min away. Since last year I have not been there – it is a relatively small store but the fresh produce is fantastic. I did only buy a pack of chocolate-biscuit I was craving for and enjoyed it while walking back to home.

9. I am grateful for having an upbeat, relaxing, and energizing weekend. This weekend was truly a blessing. My mood is high and I am looking forward to a productive work week ahead of me.

10. I am grateful for TV and the movies I have watched this weekend.

11. I am grateful for having the love in my heart to give to the trees, the plants, and anything else in my yard.

12. I am grateful for speaking with my family and my best friend today; their support is always useful, sincere, and strong.

13. I am grateful for deciding to take a longer route starting yesterday to walk from office to home in the afternoon. The change of scenery should feel good and it will give my body a better exercise.

14. I am grateful for all the food I have at home. My pantry and fridge has more than enough food to let me go through the week.

15. I am grateful for the blogs I have read today – I learn so much about gardening, budgeting, and crafting. Learning and curiosity are the sources of excitement 🙂

16. I am grateful for being relaxed, positive, and grateful today.

random thoughts

It is a beautiful bright and warm day. Could not ask for more of weather. Is it not awesome that the weather has such a positive effect?

Kind of a regular Saturday for me – the routine is the same; getting up, getting breakfast and doing light work at the favourite cafe, cleaning and aerating the house, and doing laundry. these may be routine, but they feel great nevertheless; the ability to waking up, the ability to buy myself breakfast, the ability and motivation to do work at the weekend, the great feeling after seeing my home cleaned and organized. Routine or not, many things to be grateful for.

One change I have made today was to switch to my recliner – time to give a break to the couch. The good thing: where I sit now, I am capable of hooking my sound system and listen to the music thru my computer. That is great. A couple of days ago my next door neighbours were having a barbecue party and they were listening to nice, upbeat music. I enjoyed listening to it and now I can do that myself.

have a great, shiny, and happy Saturday everyone.

random thoughts

I am so far having a good weekend. This morning I spend some time at home prior to getting out to the cafe and doing some work. Sundays are great, yet since the stores/cafes usually open later than usual, it kind of limits the daily activities.

It is nice outside. I had that wish to walk a little bit. So after I returned back from the cafe, I went down to the bookstore. I took a relatively longer path to go there; benefits are two-fold: walking longer is healthy and I gotta see different houses and scenery. I am happy with my decision to do so.

I have not been to this bookstore for sometime. I have chosen 4 books initially. I know myself; if it is 4 books, then I will not even read all of them before I buy new ones possibly next week. So, after some thinking, I left one of them and purchased 3. Funny thing that one of the books turned out to be the exact same book I have bought earlier :). I am still reading it, but that tells me that I better examine the books in more detail to make sure I am not duplicating my books.

I admit that for some books I intentionally get the 2nd book. In these cases, it is only because I love the first copy so much I would like to keep a second copy. You may think this is awkward and I agree with you 🙂 The reason is that I have an habit of underlying sentences/parts of books and also write notes on pages. As you can imagine, that causes the the book to get a little bit cluttered after a while, which makes the second reading attempt a little bit difficult for me. Thus, comes the need for the 2nd copy for those books I really like and would like to read again.

When I bought my house, I had that plan to get 3 nice-looking bookshelves to keep my books in. They would be brownish colour, not light but a little bit dark, and the same size and height. They could be placed on one of the walls in my living room close to my desk and computer. That would be my study center. A good dream that I still cherish, yet it has to wait till my financial situation gets a little bit better.

Working at the yard yesterday and all made me think; if money was not an issue, I would turn this place (house and the yard) in such as nice place. I am not complaining; only knowing that in time I am capable of doing all of these. I just need time and the continuity of my interests.

have a great Sunday everyone.

random thoughts

Woke up early today; before 9 am (it is early for me 🙂 ).

When I get up early the day becomes long; which is awesome. I find time and energy to do more stuff.

I had breakfast and then worked a couple of hours at my favourite cafe. The weather is nice today; warm and a little bit blue sky. I did some light yard work, where I planted some flowers and also started to collect old leaves and others for disposal. I enjoyed working at the yard, even though I am not used to it. Trees are still trying to recuperate from the winter, but I do see some grass coming up. At the end of this month, I expect everywhere to be green. Very nice scenery.

It is just afternoon and I only need to finish two loads of laundry before I can leave my home for shopping. It is going to be a late afternoon visit to the mall. I am okay with that. Although I enjoy spending time at home, I do not want to start relaxing too early during the day. This somehow lessens the “feel good” feeling that relaxing at home brings to me. Too much of anything is boring. That is why even though I do not need to purchase a lot of stuff, I decided it is best that I spend some time out of the house.

One can argue of course whether or not the shopping malls are the only places to pass time. I hear you. I like being at parks as well – there is one 15 minutes away from me. I have not visited it for two years or so, but I sure can do that. I like the trees, the sound of wind going thru their leaves, that “whoosh” sound they make. Peaceful that makes me.

My windows are open to let the fresh air go into my house. I love, love, love good weather 🙂

joy journal – April 18, 2015

It is a relatively nice day with nice activities and new excitements.

1. I am grateful that I got up early (9 am), but not later. That gave me a chance to find something different to do.

2. I am grateful I went to the shopping mall by taking the bus. I am extra grateful that I could wait 30 min at home to catch the bus :).

3. I am grateful that I took my time to go through the stores, enjoyed my latte and breakfast, checked the bookstore and other stores. Even though I have not purchased a lot of stuff, it felt really good.

4. I am grateful for walking around 20 min to a thrifty store from the mall. I generally am either lazy or have low energy and walking even 20 min seems like an extra work for me. Yet, the motivation to check the books at the thrifty store was strong enough to let me walk there.

5. I am grateful for the books I have purchased. One is about a cancer patients recovery from this disease and the other one is about decluttering and simplified life. Cannot wait to read these books.

6. I am grateful I bought myself a meal before I returned back to home.I was not particularly hungry but felt like I pampered myself, so well done 🙂

7. I am grateful for cleaning and aerating my home today; always a great feeling.

8. I am grateful for the healthy meal I have had at home for dinner.

9. I am grateful for three more books arriving on the mail yesterday. It is amazing that the package fit into the mail box. Otherwise, the package could not have been left and I would have to go to the post-office to get it. I have one more book to receive, hopefully in the next few weeks.

10. I am grateful for planning to go to another shopping mall tomorrow. I plan to buy a runner and maybe one or two plants for my new office. I am so excited!

11. I am grateful for it is being a saturday and a quiet and relaxing day. I have nothing to take care of, other than finishing my laundry and reading my new books.

12. I am grateful for my blanket that keeps me warm in this chilly evening.

13. I am grateful for today being a warm and bright day; I almost sweated with the coat on. Spring is almost here, I can feel it 🙂

14. I am grateful for my clothes, furniture, house, job, salary and benefits, food, TV, computer, cable and internet connection.

15. I am grateful that I am feeling alright today and I am hopeful about tomorrow (as I plan to shop again) and about monday (as it will be the first day at my new office) 🙂

a spontaneous day

While I had thought about sleeping in today, I got up at 9 am.

There is something both nice and not-so-nice thing about getting up early and having all this time to spend (unless I work, I find it difficult to pass time; go figure…).

Anyways, I did not go to the same cafe today so made the decision to go to a shopping mall by bus. yes, I have taken the bus again, not the cab! Plus, how come I was not lazy and in fact could go to the mall, I have no idea 🙂

I went there, first bought myself a nice latte and my usual toasted bagels with butter breakfast. I enjoyed it very much. Then, browsed the book store and another store. I got a gift for someone I love dearly and then went to the dollar store. I always have great time at the dollar store – especially with the stationary items 🙂 of course I have got a couple of stuff that put a smile on my face and warmness to my heart. Well done.

Then, I went to two thrifty stores. Especially for books, both of the stores are awesome. I bought two books, but most importantly I bought a simple painting for my new office! The colours are great (natural brown, red, and green) and it pictures a balcony with grass and other green plants with a nice beige coloured window/shade at the background. I fell in love with it immediately and I cannot wait till Monday to bring it into my office and hang on the wall. I have another art-work at home that I really love, which I guess will look great in my new office, too.

Tomorrow, I plan to get one or two plants for my new office. One I will put in front of the window and the other on my file cabinet. Today I also looked for runners for my office; I kinda liked one with brown/red colours. The length and the price were all right, but I think I need something a little bit larger. I will continue to look for something nice. My office will be great, fresh and lovely. I hope I will be able to keep it organized, as I have a tendency to have a lot of paperwork around 🙂

It was a great day. I am excited that tomorrow I can go to another shopping mall and perhaps find a nice runner.

joy journal – March 16, 2015

In a snow-day like today, there are usually things done to be grateful for :), here they are:

1. I am grateful for getting up at my usual time prior to the end of daylight savings last week – the entire last week I had continued to function 1 hour off; my body seems to have adjusted to the change now.

2. I am grateful it was a snow day and I had an unexpected one day off. I am not going to hide the fact that I was bored a little bit at home, but nevertheless I guess it helped me to refresh my mind a little bit.

3. I am grateful for shovelling a lot today; great exercise 🙂

4. I am grateful that we had chatted with a neighbour of mine while shovelling. I meant to introduce myself for some time. It is great that we both were shovelling at the same time 🙂

5. I am grateful that I have eaten more protein and vegetables today than my usual. In the last couple of months I have not been cooking much, or eating vegetables. It is a good step toward taking care of my body’s needs and well-being.

6. I am grateful that while shovelling I have noticed a couple of teenagers carrying coffee cups with them. I immediately understood that a large coffee shop around the corner is open today, despite the snow storm. I went there after a couple of hours to drink coffee and have a late-breakfast. Walking, even for a short distance, the fresh air, coffee, and the nice lady at the cash were all lifted my mood quite a bit.

7. I am grateful for listening to the music and relaxing a bit.

8. I am grateful for calling people I love and chatting with them.

9. I am grateful for the day; it may be snowy, windy, and all, but I am here now and I am glad I am alive to see this day.

10. I am grateful that despite the weather we have not lost power; heater, TV/cable, and computer/internet are all functional, making my life better.

11. I am grateful for chatting with two of my friends today; they are both very nice, very kind friends. It was good to connect.

12. I am grateful for watering my plants. For some reason I keep forgetting. Today I broke my routine of watering them at the weekend only. well done 🙂

13. I am grateful that I was helpful to a colleague of mine with a matter – it was through email, did take 5 minutes of my time, and it was useful. I am happy with that.

14. I am grateful for not feeling down today.

15. I am grateful for changing the topics I usually read today. humour for example – I think I should visit more humour-related sites. It makes one feel better.

16. I am grateful for my house being allright, despite the cold and bad winter we have been having so far.

17. I am grateful for being grateful, for finding things to be happy about, making efforts to enjoy my day, and giving thanks to people. I just had thought this morning; I have these slippers that I like but now are quite worn-and-torn. I am thinking about replacing them. I imagined dumping them into the garbage can without thinking… I did not like this idea. They served me well and they deserve to be cherished and acknowledged, not disappear from my life as if they meant nothing to me. when the time comes, I sure will say good-bye to my slippers with my thanks. The same attitude I wish to have for other items or people. Especially people..

holiday plans – the change is here

Here are my plans for the 12 days off till after the new year;

1. I will have breakfast every single morning – you got it right; every single morning I will go to my favourite cafe and order my favourite breakfast with coffee. That is my dream!

2. The delightful breakfast will be followed by a visit to my favourite book store close by; I can find beautiful books, buy or browse them as I please. Cannot think about a more lovely time spent.

3. I will walk around, maybe check the shops, see whether there is something interesting I may be interested in. Now that I will have spare time, I will take my time going through the stuff and fully engage my mind with whatever is at my hand. A great mental break – lovely.

4. I will call and visit some of my good friends – I am really looking forward to this! Everybody including me is so relaxed during the holidays that it is a perfect time to enjoy each others’ company and laughter.

5. I will go to the malls and check all the sales I can find – now that is one perfect time to find the best items at an affordable price. Since time is not an issue, I can explore in more detail and find and purchase those that I may like. I really would appreciate getting new shirts and trousers for winter.

6. I will visit the thrifty store, too. There are so many stuff that are interesting in such stores. Especially household items, such as old china or kitchen tools and furniture. I have been always fascinated by the fact that if I want to have a sense of the past of the city I am in, the old items, either at houses belonging to the people, or those who are dumped at the thrifty stores, are an excellent way to do so.

7. I would like to knit a nice toque this holiday season – based on my past experience if I can decide of what kind of toque to knit, I can produce it in a single day. I think it will be red and orange yes the colours that give energy during the winter. Great idea.

8. I will clean my house really well – starting the 2nd floor rooms which are much easier to clean. I will clean the floors well – they are in good condition but a little bit of deeper cleaning would be nice to protect them from permanent dust.

9. I will de-clutter the house – yes I will. I can keep things but not those which are not needed any more. That will help my house breathe better; it will refresh it, it will energize it. Together with the unwanted/unneeded items, I will also dump my old scars and painful memories. As I create space for new items at my house, I will also open space for new beginnings and memories. That is the most exciting of all the activities I plan to do during the holidays. This will lift my heart and my mind.

10. I will start implementing better and healthier life style. I am usually okay in terms of eating good and at least walking every single day, but I can do a lot better. I will start daily light weight exercises, I will stop eating refined carbs, and I will start breathing and relaxing with music more.

11. I will call my friends and family members to catch up with people important for me.

12. I will donate the books I am not reading any more.

13. I will clean my email inbox; ever year this is one of the best practices I follow – just delete the unnecessary/temporary emails, organize and store the others that are important. Open space for new emails, new developments, new important communications! Open space! Awesome – so exciting 🙂

14. I will shuffle the furniture around a little bit – I would like see my home a little bit different – just to have a mental stimulation, a fresh look, a statement of “change is here”. You would not believe how useful this kind of changes are in making more profound changes in our lives. Go ahead, change something and find in yourself the courage and wish to change other aspects, whether it is relationship, habit, life-style, or hobbies.

15. I will review my year and note all things that I have been grateful for. That is a great exercise not only to feel grateful, but also to appreciate the year that is ending and to welcome the new one with hope and positivity.

with no regrets for time lost from work

after my early morning meeting

done something unusual this morning

I went to the cafeteria to give myself a gift

and purchased a cup of nice coffee

it smelled so good, so did the muffins

and the scrambled eggs

I decided I can treat myself to a breakfast for a change

I bought warm eggs, hash browns, toasted my bread

ah, liberally spread the butter and it melt

found a table next to the window

and enjoyed nibbling on my breakfast, one by one

with no regrets for time lost from work

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all is undelightful, bland in fact

it hurts deeply that you are gone

all is undelightful, bland in fact

I do not find myself prepare breakfast

the ones that we cherished so much

early in the morning

in the sunny little room next to kitchen

with coffee and cream, tea, and old good food

smiling, chatting, laughing

me being cranky as usual prior to coffee

and you pouring down it in my favourite mug

looking at my eyes, looking for an awakening

similar to spring bringing life to nature

each drop of the coffee getting into me

transforming me into finally a smiling one

you smiling back to me, eyes more than lips

eating with joy, flirt, and taste

ah! loving you for ever my love

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All rights reserved.  © https://lifeasiinterpret.wordpress.com/

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