all the good things lately

Many things have been going better lately and I have been feeling better as well 🙂

Notably:

My short and disrupted sleep pattern have been reversing slowly. I can now sleep till 7-8 am. I still wake up during the night and have fragmented sleep, but the improvement is that I can mostly go back to sleep.

My anxiety levels are almost leveled… This is amazing. It can come back (and sometimes I do feel that it is), but as long as I stop stressing myself about stuff and write my worry journal, I am in a more comfortable state. It is strange to notice that my anxiety flares up as soon as I think “I do not know what to do“.. Duh… Classical trigger of anxiety. Nevertheless, I am very grateful for this period of time.

I feel very confident and have self-respect, admiration, and esteem. Wohaaa 🙂 This is HUGE. I owe it to a number of changes in me lately;

1) I am more initiative (such as in initiating new projects) and motivated to expand my skills to new areas. I do not try to calculate risks anymore – only big ones, not the small things that made me busy, anxious, and less initiative in the past few years. It goes well so far, I am forming new collaborations, I can ask people for favors of involvement easier, and I believe that all is much better now with these skills. I also appreciate my development and efforts more, knowing that this way I will be able to grow and do better professionally. I appreciate myself extra because these also takes guts. Seemingly, I have them 🙂

2) I believe the reason I am less conserved and introvert and more initiative is that I care less.. Yes, you heard right. The less I care about the potential and negative outcomes (e.g. failure, being rejected, etc.), the better I do and get responses. Strange but works! 🙂

3) These are all possible because I finally realize to take time for myself and my own value, personally and professionally. Good times 🙂

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I am one of these individuals that benefited from self-help books. Not all of them, but some were quite influential. The idea of worry journal, feeling better with detaching from my immediate issues and seeing the bigger picture in life, reading positive messages and feeling better as a result, etc. were all good to me. I am not naive enough to think that I have a life-long habit of thinking and feeling better, but at least I know that these strategies can be re-applied, if needed in the future.

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I have other areas in my life that I must focus, though. My diet is not the healthiest, my weight increased lately, I hardly exercise, and my spending habits are still harming my saving goals.

One way to help implement them in my life is to write specific goals. So here I go:

My diet: Aim for eating 6 different foods each week; stop pizza and eating out; eat more protein; buy and eat more veggies, especially crunchy ones.

My weight: once I start eating better and walking everyday, I know that it will decrease to its usual amount. Also, stop eating pizzas, peanuts, and junk food!!

My exercise: I can walk in the evenings quite easily. I can also start walking in the morning (to office). Weather is nice and once I start it I know I will enjoy it. I can also do light exercise at home – like my back exercises and light weights.

Spending habits: If I lose the junk food, I am sure I will be in much better shape financially. I also need more specific goals….

MORE to come.

 

 

 

 

 

holidays diary – Day 8

Today I allowed myself to fully focus on my own enjoyment and it has been great 🙂

First of all, I slept till 9 am – wow! Insomniacs like myself would know that this is huge – I am grateful.

I decided that I would spend the day at thrift stores and left home before noon. While saturdays are my weekly house chores day, you can predict that I let go of it today. Today I only focused on my enjoyment. What a change? I believe I am getting really relax and free of self-imposed necessities – how lovely 🙂

Before thrift stores, I visited a store and bought two gifts while they were on sale. I am pleased with them. I think one of them will go to a friend of mine who has been very generous with me. I hope she will like it. The other one will be a gift for the next year – I am usually not into gifts, but at work we do have one or two socials with gift exchange each year, so buying one right now feels great and will save me time and money later. So, I was very excited about this as well.

Then I visited the first thrift store. I bought a great set of mugs still in their boxes and apparently never been used. I cannot wait to use them. I also purchased a pitcher that I have been meaning to get for some time – it will be great in the office. What else did I buy? A small pot (of course) for hanging plants – it is cute and I plan to have it in my office, if not in my bathroom. A little spider plant would fit in it just well. It is very cute.

Then, I walked to the second one (I am so lucky that both of these stores are at walking distance to each other). There I spent more time (it is bigger than the first one) and it was delightful 🙂 I bought an oven tray in excellent condition for only 2.99 bucks (what a steal – it is hard to find that type of trays here). I will bake many sourdough loafs in it 🙂 I also bought a wooden tray to put my spice jars in on my counter. It fit like a charm and no more bits of spice on my counter that prompts me to wipe it regularly 🙂 Of course, I also found a very unusual type of pot with pink/lavender colour, which will be an excellent company for my coleus. I also bought two books, which I am enjoying reading.

My good luck continued on the way back and after waiting for only a minute my bus arrived! Today was kind of wet with snow and rain, so I could not appreciate it more. I then went to another small shop around my home and finally got a fresh batch of cumin and black pepper – I have been meaning to get them for a long time and I am glad that I have done this today.

I continued to care about only myself today and cooked myself yet another healthy meal 🙂 One of the greatest part of the holidays was that I cooked 3-4 meals and they were all healthy and nutritious. I feel like I am taking care of myself and this makes me feel extra excited.

Tomorrow I am baking two sourdough loafs – one for myself and one for a good friend of mine. She invited me over and I will be happy to see her tomorrow. I had also bought gifts for her in early December – I cannot wait to bring them to her. So, tomorrow will be a great day, too 🙂

Lets’ remember that the new year will be the year of Ease, Comfort, and Appreciation.

Happy Saturday everyone!

 

 

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