random thoughts

It is quite cold, my friends. We are talking about below 0C. 

Air is fresh and crispy but honestly it just feels like when winter is just starting in December. Déjà vu….. Not so cool. We have had with winter already.

Since my morale is low in the last few days, I try hard to feel okay. I am kind of numb or absent-minded. I feel like if I do not keep busy, all the thoughts and emotions will rush towards me and I will collapse under their weights. I know this is irrational thinking. But it just feels so. So I keep busy – I work and work and work and that feels good.

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All my life I worked very hard, except may be a couple of times when I have had personal troubles that kept me from focusing and working a lot. Working seems to help keep my fears and emotions at check and for that I am grateful. It is just that I know that there is no running away from troubling thoughts or emotions, so one day I will have to face my sadness and worries. I hope to gracefully accept them when the time comes, rather than resisting and reacting. I found that not resisting makes it easier to cope with.

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So, am I kind of saying that I am grateful that I am not retired?

What would I do if I had no work to go to or focus in such a mood? Let me tell you – that would not be nice. So, yes I am so very grateful for my job and not being a retiree right now 🙂

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Joy journal, Sept 19, 2016

1. I am grateful that I survived this Monday too!!! Are you too feeling the joy  coming out of this? I hope so 🙂

2. I am grateful for walking in the morning, although I was feeling tired and it was somehow cold. It was a quiet morning with a serene scenery and walking for sure makes it even better (by moving and relaxing the body). It is good for my bones, for my muscles, for my blood circulation, and for my mind -what else can provide all of these but walking? 🙂

3. I am grateful for my coffee! I brew my coffee at the office and drink quiet a bit of it. Only that today around noon, right before a meeting, my stomach got upset. Luckily a colleague of mine had salty crackers and shared them with me. I felt much better after that.

4. I am grateful for my colleague who shared their crackers with me 🙂

5. I am grateful for working really intense but nevertheless productively. I cannot believe that just yesterday I was relaxing at home, without doing anything particular. It is amazing how well we adapt to work conditions and its pressure.

6. I am grateful for walking back to home in the afternoon. I must state, however, it was too cold.. Time to get the scarfs and gloves out.

7. I am grateful for the soup I have had at home that was the greatest medication after the cold walk. It was a simple soup prepared with chicken stock, potato, and lost of lemon juice. Sure to heal and warm you up 🙂

8. I am grateful for working up late today and finishing some important documents. I have been incredibly busy last week and will be quite busy the next two weeks too. I will give my best. The best thing; I have a business trip to Europe for a couple of days after that, which will give me time to relax. I am so looking forward to it 🙂

9. I am grateful for my standing desk at the office. In the last few weeks I always worked standing up. My back feels overall better; I believe the standing desk, walking and stretching everyday helps. I am not naive enough to think that I can stop here and go back to my previous unhealthy and un-ergonomics life, but at least I know that with little changes, I can make a positive change in my life. That is priceless 🙂

10. I am grateful for my blanket that keeps me warm tonite 🙂

11. I am grateful for my family being safe and sound. That reminded me a sad occasion of a close friend of mine. She was in love with someone else, who finally decided to marry another person. That guy was killed recently in a freak robbery attempt while on honeymoon….. How sad is this? Anyways… this is supposed to be a joyful entry – so back to gratefulness…

12. I am grateful for having a house, furniture, clothes/shoes, and heating system, all of which make this cold night manageable.

13. I am grateful for my books, internet connection, computer, notepads, and pens that make my life exciting 🙂

14. I am grateful for the TV series I have been watching this evening.

15. I am grateful for all the opportunities out there that wait for me and for everyone else. May we all recognize them as they cross roads with our lives.

16. I am grateful for being grateful and writing my joy journal tonite 🙂

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