random thoughts

A chilly day with an expectation of heavy snow tonite and tomorrow; we may as well have our first snow day of the year.

How do I feel? Under different conditions I would be excited to, yet I am not. It turns out I am supposed to sign a letter tomorrow. So back to office  I am tomorrow unless there is a seriously bad snow storm.

Honestly, I would not care much. This week too I have come home early from the office to work within the peaceful and atmosphere of my house. I have had a breakthrough in my approach to a big document yesterday, which has been nagging me for almost a year. A year…. What a, uhm… unusual and ridiculous thing that I experienced….

I am responsible of course for this delay.. I came up with the idea, wrote the document, formed a team, made a budget; then got feedback and revamped it, changed the idea, changed the scope, changed the budget; got another feedback and realized it was not clear; re-wrote it, re-changed the scope, re-changed the budget; and then I realized it still was not good enough because I was not able to get a sense of it; it had changed so much that it looked like a patchwork with no clear design, flow, or scope.

Thus, I did not work on it for months, always feeling the pressure and low self-esteem its delay created on me. I felt so inefficient. So not like myself.

Then, yesterday eventually I had a day with no other important thing to do and I started working on it. From the beginning. The text is now better, clear, and impactful. Very good – I was in love with my performance yesterday 🙂 I am not done yet I still need to polish it. I also need to fix the budget and other associated documents. I can do this – I have come this far, I can go even further.

It is just a matter of time and mental clarity + motivation now.

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