Random thoughts

I hope you all have a great Holiday Season and a happy New Year’s Eve!

First, a note on New Year’s Resolution. I have been seeing on social media people mocking others for having New Year Resolutions. I do not understand this – resolutions are hopes and objectives for many people, and some actually can reach their objectives. Many cannot keep up with their resolutions, so what? Let people hope and plan. Whether it is time for them to reach their destination is none of our business.

Happy New Year 2021 GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Second, I wanted to think about what I would like to change in New Year myself. I noticed that there were two things that have been in my list, like for ever. One, to lose weight. Two, to exercise more. Should I focus on these two? Absolutely. Even, for a short time if I eat reasonably (I am old enough to know what my body likes and what makes it lose fat…) and take my time and creativity to exercise, it will help me. I do not plan to become a model or an athlete. So, keeping my plans light and my expectations small helps, even if I fail to keep my resolutions.

Exercise Exercising GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Third, I realized I had less to change this year compared to previous years. Why was that?

I thought maybe I already reached or integrated the necessary changes in my life permanently (like, being fugal, making good savings and investments every year, making pre-payments, and so on), or I trust myself that when a change is needed, it finds a way to get in my life anyways. These thoughts actually made me happier and gave me a sense of freedom that I had not felt at around other New Years. Liked it – I think aging with wisdom has been happening with me. Cool 🙂

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My 13 days of Holidays break is ending tomorrow. I managed to work only a few hours during this break and enormously liked it. Having time myself helped me clean and declutter my home; donate what I had but did not use; shop and purchase great food and other necessities; and change the face of a couple of corners in my home.

Season 2 Cleaning GIF by The Good Place - Find & Share on GIPHY

For example, I never knew how larger was my entrance deck than I thought until this Holidays. It is because I keep my coats and shoes out, rather than hanging them in the cabinet, and sometimes the recycling bags, too. I thought enough was enough, and found one of my racks and placed in on the wall. Now, my scarf, hat, and coat are nicely hanging there, right behind the door, without the need to use the cabinets (I am too lazy to open the cabinet doors to take my coat out each time I am out – simple truth…). Also, I placed all of shoes in the cabinet, and left two boots that I use during the winter out in the deck area. The space I have and the welcoming feeling this gives me is truly astonishing 🙂

More over, I put three of my favorite plants to the entrance deck. It could not be more beautiful than this. For a person who is into plants so much, the fact that I just now could think about this baffles me. As, I said above, finding time for myself during the break has been an amazing experience for me. It also made me get excited about retirement – imagine all the new great things I can integrate into my life? 🙂

Queen Love GIF by Alina Landry Rancier - Find & Share on GIPHY

Overall, I truly enjoyed my break and am ready to start the work tomorrow. I am grateful for everything I could do and the rest I have taken during the last 2 weeks.

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I believe one of the reasons that many cannot follow their New Year’s Resolutions is that we are simply too busy in the rest of the year….. To integrate things, like eating better or exercising, we need to find “time”.

One may say that we make our time, but if you are like me and have a highly competitive and high-energy job, then you will also understand that focus on work always takes over focus on myself. Time cannot be generated or saved. Not in such a society where the demands on ourselves increase constantly. So if there was one thing that the pandemic and lock-down did teach to many of us is that status quo of hard-work and not having a true, healthy life-work balance are not good for us, but are the norm.

I hope we will change this, though, I am less than hopeful, knowing there are always overly ambitious people and profit-oriented companies that will drive the glamor of over-work in the future as well.

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joy journal – Jan 29, 2018

It has been a good day.

1. I am grateful for sleeping late but waking up early. I woke up with things to do in my mind, which was overwhelming. Yesterday night I decided not to resist to this idea – after all if I resist something, the annoyance increases. I will see how well this will progress in the coming days.

2. I am grateful for taking the bus – my hero! Right on time 🙂

3. I am grateful for working with a team member of mine the whole day; we are finalizing a project of 3.5 years and she has done an amazing job. Understandably we are very excited about this. We will continue on Wednesday again, but what we have done today was a wonderful work 🙂

4. I am grateful for treating my team member to tea/coffee and snacks. These absolutely help us to have a more cozy work environment and provide some comfort while doing a serious job.

5. I am grateful for walking back to my home this evening; a first in a while. I am coming back to my routine slowly… I feel accomplished with each of these small steps; re; taking he bus, walking, not taking the cab, eating better, etc. Yay! 🙂

6. I m grateful for working at home in the evening of another report due next week. I am kind of late but have moved it very well. While walking to home I was thinking that I did not know how to fix it, but as soon as I sit in front of the computer and opened the document, it just moved on.

7. I am grateful for working at the office till 6pm, not coming home early to work, and hence stress myself further at home. Not leaving the office early to come home to work is one of these small steps that makes me feel good and makes me feel like I am back to my routine.

8. I am grateful for eating a large potato salad filled with green beauties. Very healthy and it was yummy 🙂

9. I am grateful for turning my email off while we worked at the office today. This is my second or third time doing this. I did not even missed it. What a distraction it seems… I am very proud of myself for doing this change as well.

There are a number of changes I have implemented lately and I will be happy to state them here again:

  • turning off the email while working on important things
  • leaving my “perfectionists attitude” on un-critical tasks
  • saying “no” more often 
  • motivating my team more
  • eating better and healthier
  • treating myself with weekly chocolates and little pastries time to time
  • making an effort to work at the office, rather than at home
  • supporting myself during these stressful times and showing compassion
  • making an effort with positive affirmations
  • making an effort to stop resisting the thoughts that annoy me
  • taking the bus or walking, and protesting the cab company
  • making Fridays “eat fish/meat” day – this has been going on for the last three weeks and I noticed that I feel good about this. Whether it is fish or red meat (which I rarely eat) – I am not sure. In all cases I eat a large green salad, which I suspect is helping a lot too
  • believing that I have time, which reduces my stress, even though that usually means working at nights at home
  • understanding myself, my needs, my priorities, and hurdles – particularly my own criticism towards myself and my work
  • realizing that my daily home routine is important and without it I feel over-whelmed, stressed, and somehow absent…. It is important to spend time without thinking about work and making my mind work on rather other things to give it a break

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Things that I appreciate myself for today:

  • I appreciate myself for making an effort to feel good
  • I appreciate myself for eating better, pampering myself, and caring for myself
  • I appreciate myself for keeping calm and focused today
  • I appreciate myself for changing and improving my quality of life, especially at work
  • I appreciate myself for taking time to write these, which help materialize them

 

 

random thoughts

I slept till 10 am and felt energized upon getting up. My plan was to start the day with coffee and the usual house chores. A work-related email asking for an urgent document ruined these plans. So I worked in an intense way and in the afternoon it was sent out. That is a big relief. And the house chores are done after that. talking about breaking the routine! 🙂

I have done well and prepared myself a nice lunch with kale. I must re-instate my plan to eat from diverse array of food. I keep eating the same things and a s a result I believe I have some vitamin and mineral deficiencies. Not good. So today’s lunch was a good step towards this plan and I feel fantastic about this 🙂

I am excited about another thing. I placed lettuce and celery in water last week and voila this week they have little growth 🙂 This is so fantastic! I love nature and how it does miraculously! My mom suggested I could plant them and grow at home. I need a pot and soil and I have no idea when I can find time to purchase them, but this system itself is so magical that I feel truly elated 🙂 Thanks those who posted about this which inspired me to try.

🙂

 

 

your body let you know when you need to slow down

My tummy was aching yesterday and this morning, and I have a terrible headache since morning. I have eaten lots of carbs and drank too much soft drinks, and my face is puffy and I feel lethargic. I believe my blood tension is also high. 

Where am I going like this?

I may not have managed my work-related stress effectively so far, but I think it is time that I start doing this.

Action item 1. Stop thinking work at nights. Watch the X-files instead. Give my mind a break.

Action item 2: Breathe. Deep breaths. Continuously. For 5 minutes or longer. Try time to time.

Action item 3: Stop drinking soft drinks. Replace it with water. Drink milk.

Action item 4: Get out of the house.

Action item 5: Eat better. No carbs for some time. Eat delicious veggies and fruits for a change. They energize me.

Action item 6: Do not work this weekend, if I can.

Action item 7: Work at the office tomorrow, not at home. Get some human interaction. Get away from isolation.

Action item 8: Write down the things that go well.

Action item 9: Cuddle with a nice book.

Action item 10: Watch these lovely creatures and put on a smile 🙂

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gifs by:https://giphy.com/gifs/stress-8NTbiaWRhWenm

Spring plans

I used to have posts about the things I would like to change or implement in my life. The majority of the time they did work really well and I have implemented them in my life. I do not think I have done this for some time. So let’s roll again 🙂

1. Eat at least 10 food that I have not eaten in the last one week. I keep eating the same things over and over; apple, tomato, onion, herbs, milk, yogurt, beans, cheese, and eggs are the regularly consumed food. While they are more or less healthy, I am afraid I am missing the opportunity to benefit from other veggies/fruits/dry food. In the past whenever I recognized this, I aimed every week to purchase and eat at least 6 different things that I have not eaten within the last week. This time I would like to increase this to 10 so that I can challenge myself (always fun!).

2. Consume the pantry food that are older than a year. I know what they are; rice, bulghur, and wild rice. I am not into rice that much, but I can make an effort to consume more of it. I will get creative with the others. It will be great to use them up so that I can get fresh ones 🙂

3. Thrift shop for blouses and shirts for a renewed wardrobe this Spring :).  I want to budget 50 bucks to keep visiting the thrift stores and buy blouses and shirts. I am happy with my latest purchases and I have been meaning to renew my shirts for some time (many of them have been in use for at least one year). Change is always good and I am discovering that certain styles are fitting me well. It is exciting 🙂

4. Declutter the wardrobe. After I purchase new tops, I want to remove from my wardrobe those that I do not wish to wear; some can be modified (I hope I can make this with my sewing machine),  donate (those that are in good shape), or dump (those that are old and battered). Since this has been a wish of mine for so long, I think it will feel awesome 🙂

5. Clean the yard and plant veggies/seeds. I do not know how the previous owners managed, but the yard is uneven which requires me to fix it. Also there are broken glass bottle and plate pieces everywhere. I cleaned quite a bit in the past but this year I want to do a better job. I also want to grow herbs and other veggies. Spring is almost here, so I can be busy working at the yard the next few months.

6. Lose another 10 pounds. I managed to lose 15 pounds in Fall. I gained 5 pounds back but I am still keen about losing a little bit more of fat. I know morning walks from home to office as well as eating lots of raw veggies and not eating after 8 pm coincided with my weight loss. So I am interested in replicating these behavior and hope that I can lose another 10 pounds 🙂

7. Drink more tea and reduce coffee consumption. I increased my coffee consumption too much. This coincided with me having my weekend breakfast at home rather than at a cafe. I drink around 6 cups of coffee per day now, which does not sound good to me. I do not experience physiological problems like palpitations, but nothing of too much can be good. So from tomorrow on I will focus on drinking 3 cups of coffee per day at most. The rest of the time I can drink tea. Good plan 🙂

8. Get a new hobby or activity that I do not usually do. Whether it is a sitting meditation or hiking the trails, I do not know.  I have read somewhere about “nature bathing” or something like that. Basically it means sitting in a park or around trees, and exposing our body and mind to the natural beauty and freshness around us. I am looking forward to finding a park and doing this this summer.

9. Surprise myself :). I would like to surprise myself by doing things that I would not normally do. I believe this would help me break my routine habits, or see things differently. No idea how I could do this but having it in the list means I will revisit the idea time to time. Who knows maybe I could come up with something interesting 🙂

10. Sew. I could not focus on sewing yet……. I have the machine, notions and fabric, so all I need is a new project that will help me get excited. Ideas?

Aims and plans: 3) eating healthier and losing weight

I continue to tackle my recent aims and plans to make my life better, as I wish it.

The third item on the list was: 

3. eating healthier and losing 25 pounds and keeping it off

I have always been a chubby girl, but not overly over-weight until something like 8 years ago when I moved to my current city and I gained weight – around 30 pounds to be exact. I am not sure what exactly caused this; I am thinking possibly the increased stress levels as well as the reduced physical activity levels. In anyways, two years ago my doctor informed me that my blood sugar levels were borderline and even 5% fat loss would make a positive difference in my sugar levels. I took this to my heart but I could not really implement any weight loss/better diet strategies for a long time. Luckily last time we checked it had improved but I was advised to lose weight if I can and increase my exercise levels.

I have made several attempts in eating better and exercising more over my life. Long story short; I know: a) exercising does not make me lose weight, b) if I can limit my night-eats and if I limit carbs, like bread, rice, or even sweets, I feel lighter, c) there is something about chewy raw veggies that helps with water retention or fat dissolution (not sure which one), d) I keep consume the same types of food, which needs to change.

Knowing these I now am ready to remind myself that I can do better and in fact lose the dreaded extra weight. I just need to get more conscious about these, that is all. And this post will just function to do so.

Plan: 1) Shop for 6 different veggies/fruits that I have not consumed in the last 1 week. I did that in the past with success; it aims to facilitate me consume a variety of food

2) drink not one but two glasses of milk every day – I read somewhere that calcium helps keeping the bone health as well as managing weight. I want to see how that goes

3) keep walking in the afternoons and if I can, in the mornings to the office. Make an attempt to walk at the weekends too, even for 10 min.

4) everyday eat at least two raw veggie in the form of salad or snack: lettuce, onion, herbs, spinach, carrots, tomato, and others. There are many options to choose from.

5) For mid-night snack, continue to choose yogurt, milk, and fruits.

6) Continue with the reduced intake of bread (now that I bake my own bread, interestingly I consume less of it..)

7) Have 2 refined carb-less (bread, rice, pasta, etc.) days per week: I just came up with this idea right now and I wonder how that would work….. Since my weekends are usually pleasure-oriented, I guess what I need is to focus on the beginning of the week. Maybe Mondays and Thursdays – how about that? Exciting 🙂

I am currently 200 pounds (ooops 🙂 ) Let’s see where I am gonna go from here.

random thoughts

It was a busy day, but there were a lot of social interactions and laughs as well. So I cannot complain 🙂

I am very grateful that there are two more work days and they are meeting free. That means I can focus on the urgent work at hand. I think I will have to work at the weekend, but that is okay, too. I incidentally invited some friends over; I am happy to host them although this is going to make my weekend a little bit busier. Nevertheless I am looking forward to it 🙂

This week, neither my budget nor the healthy life-style plan is going well, but I am not going to beat myself about either of them. I know myself – when the right time comes, I will do better. I right now am observing and analyzing; what is happening? what needs fixing? what can I do? I trust myself that with both of these plans, I will eventually do a lot better.

There is something so nice about trusting that the best is yet to come. That things will turn around  good. That I can and will do better. That there is something better coming after each struggle or failure. This has always been like this – frustration just means that there is something better I will get to experience, design, or plan. It is just a matter of time.

That is a good feeling.

I have other plans about my life and work that I would like to implement. I am excited to be able to handle them, too. Knowing that I cannot implement many new things all at the same time, naturally would like these two to work out well first (so that I can move on with the new plans). I have done well with the budget, though I still have a large unnecessary expense to erase form my life. The healthy – life – style plan is going good but not so good; I am generally eating better, cut out the bread and bagels a lot, I walk extra in the mornings; it is just that the weight loss is not there. Anyways, that too will happen one day; I just need to keep going 🙂

Right?

joy journal – August 29, 2015

Joy, happiness, joy, happiness, joy! 🙂

  1. I am grateful for today; being well and sound, waking up, however late and tired.
  2. I am grateful for the beautiful, warm, and shiny day; it prompted me to do something other than my routine and spend time outdoors.
  3. I am grateful for catching the bus and going to a shopping mall area. I was right on time.
  4. I am grateful for donating the clothes I had sorted out while decluttering my wardrobe a while ago. It felt good 🙂 Hope they will find a new owner, who will appreciate them more than me.
  5. I am grateful for walking to another thrifty store – I ended up not purchasing anything this week. It is surprising but I am happy with my decision.
  6. I am grateful for deciding to go home to eat something rather than eating in a Chinese restaurant that I enjoy time to time.
  7. I am grateful for checking a store at the shopping mall and finding two beautiful art pieces! I fell in love with them right away. They are similar to each other (sold together), picturing a forest with amazing trees, amazing light, and fall colours. As soon as I put them on the walls, the atmosphere of my house changed for a better one. It looks, I do not know, different, beautiful, and like a home with a character. They both demand to be looked at and enjoyed. I love them and I love the fact that I purchased them 🙂 I would like to buy more beautiful stuff to give my home what it deserves.
  8. I am grateful for taking the bus back from the shopping mall. Again I did not wait too much, so it was an easy ride. I feel lucky 🙂
  9. I am grateful for changing my Saturday routine by going to the stores today. I did clean my home upon my return and I am still not done with the laundry, but it is well worth having this change.
  10. I am grateful for aerating and cooling down my home.
  11. I am grateful for the new mats on my bathrooms. There was an immediate face lift. I am not into having a lot of stuff, but I guess some things are really good. A nice change, nice colours, nice feelings 🙂
  12. I am grateful for cooking a nice meal for myself tonite, even though I was late because of shopping and then house chores. It turned out to be tasty and healthy.
  13. I am grateful for not eating too much bread today 🙂
  14. I am grateful for realizing how tired I got up this morning. No, I did not like being tired. But I liked the fact that my body was talking to me to take better care of it. I better eat healthier food. Also walk whenever I can.
  15. I am grateful for finding additional art-work that one of my friends had given me as a gift. It is a little four-piece stuff that just looks cute. I just need a place for them to hang on. Hmmmm…
  16. I am grateful for having only good news today.
  17. I am grateful for today being Saturday and tomorrow being Sunday. I can enjoy my time, relax as I please, and take my time with the things I have to do around the house.
  18. I am grateful for the handyman, who will come tomorrow and do some minor work for me. It is really nice to have someone to do stuff that I am not capable of doing myself.
  19. I am grateful for not being too frugal and preferring today to buy the art-work that makes a positive difference in my life. I really like that, as some of the stories of the frugal people are a little bit too much… I do not believe in restraining myself that much, at least not yet. As a matter of fact, after today’s experience, I decided to buy more for my living room and the bathrooms. I am thinking maybe a blue art-work for the living room, right across from the couch that will give a feeling of “freshness and clarity”. For the bathrooms, something colorful and lovely; maybe some flower pictures. Come to think about it, I have many pictures that I can print and hang on to my walls… Time to do this 🙂
  20. I am grateful for being grateful 🙂

future goals

It is an unremarkable day in the sense that nothing highly positive or highly negative happened. It is an unremarkable, but a nice, pleasant day. I think that is a fair conclusion.

While writing this, I wondered about what I expected from my day? From myself?

I cannot possibly control or influence the climate, what will others do or say, what kind of news or emails I will get. I have nothing to do but accept them as they appear. Ok.

I can however influence my life, my thoughts, actions, and feelings. When I think about this, it is so powerful…

What would I like to do with my life?

For a long time now I have not had long-term goals in life. I am not sure whether this is a good thing or not. I used to have goals (such as better work, better living conditions, better life style, etc.) and thinking about them and working through these goals were exciting, interesting, and fulfilling.

I am not sure whether my lack of future goals, at least in terms of better job or living conditions, are because I attained them. I am happy with my job and would not like to change it unless something extraordinary would happen. I have not been even thinking about applying for jobs for some years. It is true that I had reacted to the city I am living in now for 6-7 years for quite a long time (weather, grey sky, its being a small city and as such can get boring… etc.), but in the last one year or so (since I bought my house), this feeling also left me; I do not care about the weather, the sky, or how boring it can be. Maybe I got used to be bored. Maybe that is the main reason. because realistically, yes I am bored of doing the same thing, eating the same (limited types of food), seeing the same streets, and shopping at the same malls.

I have had goals related to my life-style though, which I somehow could not implement yet.

1. Weight situation: I have been thinking about losing the extra weight that I gained since I moved here. 30 pounds to be exact. It is quite a bit of fat that I need to say good-bye to. And, nothing much has been happening (at least permanently). The recent loss of 5 pounds is well received, but I keep wonder whether it is permanent and continuous.

2. Eating better: I think I am eating less and less healthy. Less fruits, less veggies. This mostly happened after I moved to my house. I am not sure what is prompting it; considering that I have a bigger and more functional kitchen. I have no idea…

3. Exercise: Nope; since I came here, my exercise levels dropped to maybe 5% of what it was used to be. In terms of gym/health club/cardio exercise and walking. I used to walk a lot. Now, if I can walk half an hour (from office to home, for example), I congratulate myself. Will the spring/summer help? I think so. Our winters are quite harsh, that is for sure, where we have a lot of snow. Since the snow is lifted off our streets, I have been more active. I think I will be hopeful about the coming months and take the opportunity to walk more. Even going to the shopping malls, browsing the stores, and walking around are better than sitting on the couch.

4. Being happier and relaxer: When compared to past I am. Interesting and appreciated. So this one goal actually seems to be attained! Awesome 🙂

So, the question I would like to ask to myself is then how I can use my power to direct my life and my life-styles to a form that would please me?

Something, a great opportunity, to think about.

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