Sunday morning musings

It is a bright and warm summer day; who can complain about these? Certainly not me 🙂

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It is a routine Sunday morning, which is good. It feels great to be back to my routine after a couple of agitated days.

There are things that I realize after the recent ordeal:

a) I feel better within my own so called “highly structured daily life”, where every action and activity has a time and meaning. I do grocery shopping on Thursdays, purchase milk on Saturdays, clean the house and do the laundry on Saturdays, read, write, and watch movies/TV series during the evenings, and work during the weekdays between regular hours. I miss spontaneity time to time, but losing my routine when I most need it (i.e. when I am agitated and stressed) is worse than the boredom that I feel when not having spontaneous activities. You may call me old, hey, I may call myself old, but honestly I like the way my now middle-age mentality works for me, and knowing what works and what does not work for me. One can call this wisdom that comes with age….

b) I may need to reduce the amount of distractions I have at the office so that I can focus on what is important for my work. I lead a small team of talented individuals, some of which requires more supervision that the others. I also have collaborations with other groups and roles in committees in my organization. Late Spring, I started to aim for having at least 2 work day with no meeting, which turned out to be quite beneficial for me. I would love to keep doing this with some luck, by saying “no” more often, and by organizing my time a little bit better. I contemplate on increasing the work hours, either during the week or assigning a week night for work. Fridays can be a good option, but I will have to see that. While I am aware of the fact that I must work harder or longer, I also would love to keep my “me” time that relaxes me and lets me engage in learning, writing, and fun activities. I am a strong proponent of having “me” time. I do not wish to let go off this now.

c) The recent agitation was triggered by me being not prepared well in advance. When I realized that the work I was working on was, although bright, not feasible, I felt anger. Towards myself, towards everything and everyone that kept me away from having more time. This is not right and this is not healthy; others have nothing to do with this. It is my own responsibility to protect my own time and manage it better. I should take full responsibility for my own actions, or inactions, and stop being a drama queen. I cannot keep failing myself. This gotta stop.

d) These being said, I must also say that stress sometimes makes me work way productive than the rest of the time. Like the rest 3 days, when I actually fumed a lot but also did a lot. Stress is counter-productive when it is too much, but as the others would also say, it also facilitates some action. Thus, as long as I remind this myself during high stress times, perhaps I could go through those times smoother.

Lessons learnt… Sometimes over and over… But, hey I am a human being with all the fails and limitations. 

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I am looking forward to today; there will be a thrift store visit (I hope), conversations with my family, a sourdough to bake and give to my good neighbours next door, and some X-File episodes to watch at night! Boy, the later parts of the Season 2 was just heart-pumping and the first episode of Season 3 is making me jump in excitement! Thank goodness that we have such joys and excitements in life! 

I believe it is gonna be a fantastic day!

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Have a great Sunday everyone 🙂

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random thoughts

It is a true summer day; bright, blue, and warm 🙂

I have had a good work at the office but left early in the afternoon as I was trying to find a solution to an idea. I must apply for new projects to get interest in them and then lead them to completion. I am traditionally good about this, but the two ideas that I was brewing lately seem to be done by others, which necessitates me to find new ideas.

Finding new ideas is not the problem, but finding an idea that others will find interesting is. I realize that this is bothering me more than before and I feel at that point again where I just want to quit this line of work and do something that is more interesting, challenging, and awarding. Where I can feel great about my performance, abilities, and work. Enough is enough, is that not?

I am making an application this week. If it comes through I will be interested in making the interview and learning about myself (Will I really want this job? Will I really be willing to leave my job and life here?) and this job. I believe I can do it really well, but the question is whether or not there will be others who can make it better than me, or whether or not the human resources personnel or whoever is going to screen the applications will find me good enough for this position. All these possibilities make me feel fuzzy, but I will go ahead and make this application anyhow because I want to. Also because I can.

🙂

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My appetite is quite big nowadays, especially today. All I want to do is to eat, especially ice cream. I also want to eat pasta but goodness, if I eat it I sure will gain a pound or two (mostly water retention of course, but…). I think I crave for carbs to feel good…

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One of my aims for the summer was to reduce the consumption of canned food, especially those that I munched on in the office. I have done good so far and reduced my purchase and consumption of canned fish, yet now I feel hungry at the office, and need to bring food from home everyday. I purchased a plastic container (BPA-free) yesterday to put food in and carry it in my purse (it is large enough), and today I have had some veggies and tofu as the lunch. It was great but not enough to curb my appetite. Tomorrow I am bringing in some veggies and canned bean, and I am laughing at myself knowing what an ironic thing that is to be consuming canned food again..

I have serious concerns about this – will I really be able to eat well at the office?

I guess what I need is to plan a little bit better. Obviously the status quo is not optimum and I must refine and revise it. The objective of reducing the exposure to canned food is a good one. Finding alternatives to canned food, on the other hand, is a challenge. What can I bring in? I think cheese and hard boiled eggs as well as meatballs are great options; hard boiled eggs are awesome, I love them, but then I cannot keep eating them everyday. I have concerns re; cheese and if I can make my own cheese then I can have it, but the chances are slim to have this everyday. Meatballs are versatile alternatives and all I have to do is to prepare and cook them at the weekends (see how lazy i can get?). Also, sandwiches. If I must eat bean, the better option is to cook them myself from dry beans. I think this is what I can focus on this weekend.

And I think I should increase my purchase of veggies so that I can supplement the protein source with them.

Sigh…. So much to figure out. All in order to eat better and healthier! 🙂

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random thoughts

This week has been going non-stop at work and I am very pleased with this.

In the last few months the work has been going well – albeit slow sometime. I am feeling like I have geared it up a bit, things are moving faster (although not as fast as I would hope), and I am feeling satisfied and happy as a result of these 🙂

This week we are having a summer time. I tell ya – it is warm during the day, even too hot at nights for our Canadian bodies (like, 23C hot?!!), I am wearing no winter coat or trench coat, and everywhere is green and flowery. Beautiful!

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I feel like I am missing a huge opportunity every minute I spend inside the office. After all, we are at around the end of June and my goodness we have only 5-6 weeks of summer. I am so conflicted – should I keep working during the summer or take 1-2 weeks off to enjoy it without work? Argh… I really want to do both. Perhaps the best solution is to make sure I walk out during the noon and work during the rest of the day. Since I get up and go to office early, walking during the noon should not affect my work.

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I think some of the seeds I planted in the yard are coming to life! This is so exciting for me – I hope they are not weed but real flowers and plants! I got lazy and did not water them this evening upon returning from office. But later I realized how unfair that was to my little seeds and threw myself and my pitcher out to yard. It felt good to do this for these lovely life forms 🙂

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Overall, I am excited about summer, the seeds that seem to be germinating in the yard, and my work performance. I will meet with an ex-team member of mine tomorrow afternoon and I plan to play with her 1-year old son and totally enjoy my time 🙂

Life is good, my friends.

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Sunday morning musings

Happy Sunday everyone 🙂 Wherever you are, I hope you are having a great day, joy, hope, safety, and anything else your heart may desire.

Happy father`s day too! Those fathers who have been great to their kids and families – you should be proud of yourself. Hope you are having a great day too.

I am having a rather quiet Sunday.

When compared to yesterday this is an excellent change I must say. So how was my Saturday? First of all, I prepared my first sourdough with beet and we shall see how that will develop this afternoon when I bake it (proving now). I also did quite a bit of shopping yesterday: as usual I went to a store 10 min away to purchase milk. And then to another one 25 min away (on foot) to purchase yogurt that was on sale; I consume them quite frequently so I was happy to get them yesterday. Also, weather was so nice (around 20C, which is Summer! for us here) that walking and being outside felt like I was on vacation somewhere exotic or something 🙂

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Then, as if all these walking was not enough, I decided to walk (~1 hour each way) to a shopping mall, having a hair cut along the way and checking two thrift stores for pitchers. Well, at the end I did not find anything I really needed, so I also checked a department store. I found a pitcher but honestly it did not give me any joy, so I decided to leave it there (even thought it was affordable and do the job). I am glad I have done this because I checked another nearby store and guess what? I found the loveliest pitcher just like I wanted: affordable (and on sale), large enough to take all the kefir I produce (around 3 liters – I plan to collect a couple of days’ produce and store in the fridge), with a large neck/lid (so that cleaning inside is easy – kefir usually leaves it fat marks on glass quite easily), and the lid is adjustable so that you can tighten it up or loose as you wish (which is critical while dealing with kefir, because grains produce gas which needs to escape the container otherwise it can explode)! How happy I was with that purchase? Very 🙂 That is a great feeling.

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When I reached back home it was already past 7 pm and my legs were just aching. I think I walked around 3 hours yesterday. I know I could stretch and relieve some of the muscle tension in my legs yesterday but I was too lazy to do this and rather I slept over it and now I am feeling much better. 

So, what are my plans for today? I am taking it light today. I have an interesting sourdough loaf to bake, family to talk to, some laundry to do, and some work to seriously think about. I can also work on the yard and clean the weed up.

And, I can always enjoy my coffee and reading 🙂

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Have a great Sunday friends 🙂

 

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random thoughts

The entire week was warm and with blue skies. I think the spring is coming. I think the winter has left us. I think things will be only better after this 🙂

I was at a boring social yesterday with a colleague of mine and I went to office and had a very productive day today. So, if you had asked me which one made me happy, you know it is the day at the office. Honestly, the lack of distraction is the best thing I can have in my office. I left the office feeling quite happy about myself and the work I have done. I think I have resolved a couple of road blocks in this project so far and from now on I can only move faster and better. This feels amazing 🙂  

I am really happy about this.

 

breaking the routine – May 25, 2015

Being energized by the good weather and wishing to spend more time outdoors, I took a longer route to walk this afternoon. One part of the path goes thru a little park, there are new houses built at one junction with colourful sidings, and there is a thrifty store and a Shoppers store along the way. That is certainly a great route 🙂

random thoughts

A beautiful, warm spring day; it has been the warmest day so far – around 13 C. Cannot complain 🙂

I attended a meeting in the morning, where there were all bunch of muffins, pastries, and fruits as snacks. Why did I eat so much of pastry? That I am complaining about. I am going to attend another full-day meeting on wednesday, where I similarly expect to eat unhealthy food. Why I wanna ask myself, why? 🙂

On the other hand, I appreciated the nice pen and notebook that came with the meeting. And the coffee and tea. At least they are not unhealthy.

I am always perplexed with the choice of snacks at meetings and presentations. Is it because they are easy to acquire and cheap that they end up at the tables and then in our mouth and stomach? This last part is nobody else’s fault though, I have no will-power to stop eating these food. Convenience is the key igniter for my unhealthy diet. time to stop this – seriously. Where am I going with this life-style?

I walked back from the office, which made me sweat due to the warm weather. It made me feel good. I had a relatively healthier dinner (potato salad to be exact), if it is considered healthy (too much starch…). Oh well. I really have a lot to fix in my life.

My life is waiting – when am I going to take the steps to change for a better, more fulfilling and healthy-feeling life?

Sometime soon. Yes, soon.

random thoughts

I am so far having a good weekend. This morning I spend some time at home prior to getting out to the cafe and doing some work. Sundays are great, yet since the stores/cafes usually open later than usual, it kind of limits the daily activities.

It is nice outside. I had that wish to walk a little bit. So after I returned back from the cafe, I went down to the bookstore. I took a relatively longer path to go there; benefits are two-fold: walking longer is healthy and I gotta see different houses and scenery. I am happy with my decision to do so.

I have not been to this bookstore for sometime. I have chosen 4 books initially. I know myself; if it is 4 books, then I will not even read all of them before I buy new ones possibly next week. So, after some thinking, I left one of them and purchased 3. Funny thing that one of the books turned out to be the exact same book I have bought earlier :). I am still reading it, but that tells me that I better examine the books in more detail to make sure I am not duplicating my books.

I admit that for some books I intentionally get the 2nd book. In these cases, it is only because I love the first copy so much I would like to keep a second copy. You may think this is awkward and I agree with you 🙂 The reason is that I have an habit of underlying sentences/parts of books and also write notes on pages. As you can imagine, that causes the the book to get a little bit cluttered after a while, which makes the second reading attempt a little bit difficult for me. Thus, comes the need for the 2nd copy for those books I really like and would like to read again.

When I bought my house, I had that plan to get 3 nice-looking bookshelves to keep my books in. They would be brownish colour, not light but a little bit dark, and the same size and height. They could be placed on one of the walls in my living room close to my desk and computer. That would be my study center. A good dream that I still cherish, yet it has to wait till my financial situation gets a little bit better.

Working at the yard yesterday and all made me think; if money was not an issue, I would turn this place (house and the yard) in such as nice place. I am not complaining; only knowing that in time I am capable of doing all of these. I just need time and the continuity of my interests.

have a great Sunday everyone.

random thoughts

Woke up early today; before 9 am (it is early for me 🙂 ).

When I get up early the day becomes long; which is awesome. I find time and energy to do more stuff.

I had breakfast and then worked a couple of hours at my favourite cafe. The weather is nice today; warm and a little bit blue sky. I did some light yard work, where I planted some flowers and also started to collect old leaves and others for disposal. I enjoyed working at the yard, even though I am not used to it. Trees are still trying to recuperate from the winter, but I do see some grass coming up. At the end of this month, I expect everywhere to be green. Very nice scenery.

It is just afternoon and I only need to finish two loads of laundry before I can leave my home for shopping. It is going to be a late afternoon visit to the mall. I am okay with that. Although I enjoy spending time at home, I do not want to start relaxing too early during the day. This somehow lessens the “feel good” feeling that relaxing at home brings to me. Too much of anything is boring. That is why even though I do not need to purchase a lot of stuff, I decided it is best that I spend some time out of the house.

One can argue of course whether or not the shopping malls are the only places to pass time. I hear you. I like being at parks as well – there is one 15 minutes away from me. I have not visited it for two years or so, but I sure can do that. I like the trees, the sound of wind going thru their leaves, that “whoosh” sound they make. Peaceful that makes me.

My windows are open to let the fresh air go into my house. I love, love, love good weather 🙂

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