Happiness IS possible

I was happy for the entire morning yesterday. Really happy.

I was excited about the day. The great weather. The ability to walk, The ability to work. The ability to survive and do all bunch of other things. I had a life and it was going well.

Since it does not happen all the time, it was precious! It was beautiful! It was energizing!

🙂

………………………………..

Then, what happened?

Well, work related shit happened and I had to find a solution to a confusing situation that directly relates to me. It is important that I find the best solution so that I can feel that my interests are protected to best.

………………………………..

I increasingly realize that finding solutions to complex situations is one thing that drains me and stresses me…… Since it is an intense mental process, and I cannot help but have that urge to find the solutions right away, it means that my work and life are interrupted and I feel heavily overwhelmed until that solution miraculously shows up in my mind.

If only I could develop some sort of confidence that I am capable of finding solutions without getting into an intense thought process.

Another thing is when I need to write an email. Sometimes I find myself revising it so many different times until I find it making the point clearly and without giving away more than what it is intended to. With work-related emails, there is always a chance of being mis-understood or having negative consequences if the email does not sound right. So I draft and sometimes revise them multiple times, which is another annoyance for me. BUT today I realized that I revise them to make these emails better, which is better for me – so I should actually trust my instinct, keep revise until I am satisfied, and be happy to revise at the same time.

It appears that a change in the perspective is something I can benefit from.

And, the more I analyze, the better I can see why I experience certain annoyances…. This reminds me my worry journal that has been therapeutic. Time to get the dust off it.

………………………………..

Regardless of what, though, it has been great to remind myself yesterday that happiness was possible.

🙂

joy journal – March 31, 2017

I am not good at writing my joy journal this year…… I believe this is my only the second post in 2017.

I am the best person to know that writing this journal is one thing that always made me feel better, more hopeful, and joyful.

So, why is this neglect lately? Was I too joyful so that I did not need to write it, or was I not joyful at all so I did not even bother writing?

The answer is neither.

I was slightly down; that is for sure. Work has had some stressful & pissing moments in February and March. But other than that many great things happened, almost on a daily basis.

I was just lazy, I would say.

Now is a good time to break this pattern and start being and benefiting from being grateful.

——————–

1. I am grateful for being safe and sound in this stormy day. I was not hurt, fell, or got washed out by the rain or pushed around by the wind. 

2. I am grateful for my home standing tall, strong, and safe in this weather. This year we have had quite a bit of winter with lots of wind and snow. And now we are having rain. But the house has been great with no problem at sight. I am very thankful for this.

3. I am grateful for deciding to remove from my work list those that drag me down emotionally. Whether they are the unnecessary tasks or people, I say “no” more often now and it feels good. I will keep doing this as long as it serves me best.

4. I am grateful for all the food I have in my house. 

5. I am grateful for having the night to myself. It is quite peaceful to have no one around. 

6. I am grateful for having the energy and feeling good about myself. 

7. I am grateful for eating fruits today and enjoying them.

8. I am grateful for feeding my sourdough starter this evening. I hope to make a dough tomorrow and bake a loaf on Sunday, as usual. This weekend, I will also have a loaf or two with commercial yeast to give to my colleague who gave me a ride this evening. I do not necessarily like getting favors without giving something back, especially from those people who I have no close friendship. For some reason, when someone who is not a close friend of mine offers me this kind of help/kindness, I have a hard time accepting it gracefully. Old habit… And bread sounds great – I am sure they will enjoy. And I will feel even.

9. I am grateful for the movie I am watching; my internet connection; my computer; my power and heating; my phone line; my furniture; shoes/boots and clothes and everything else I have at home. All is necessary or useful, and well liked. 

10. I am grateful for reading and enjoying reading; whether it is books or browsing on the internet. But learning is the best thing a mind can relax and grow into. I have so many opportunities to do so that I am loving my life very much right now 🙂

11. I am grateful for re-starting my joy journal and being grateful 🙂

———————————————

Added after the post:

I forgot – as of Jan 2017, I also would like to note at least 3 things that I appreciate about myself. Here is today’s list:

  1. I appreciate the fact that I am not a cheap person
  2. I appreciate the fact that I can say “no” now
  3. I appreciate the fact that I make an effort to keep a simple, peaceful, healthy, and meaningful life
  4. I appreciate the fact that I am more focused on my own well being at the office
  5. I appreciate the fact that I have simple but effective/meaningful hobbies, like reading, writing, listening to music, or watching movies
  6. I appreciate the fact that I have a character and its genuine – what you see is what you get
  7. I appreciate the fact that I make a good effort to eat at least one type of raw veggie per day – it is essential for losing weight (for some reason, it does work for me..)
  8. I appreciate the fact that I am resourceful
  9. I appreciate today especially the fact that I am writing on my joy journal and also making this “self-appreciation corner” an integral part of it 🙂

Yay!! 🙂

happiness is knowing that someone you care about is well and sound

I called the animal shelter today to ask about how to donate them the money that I was rising by selling extra items in my home that I identified during my latest decluttering activity.

I could not help but asked about Jamie the cat that I had adopted a few weeks ago, which I unfortunately had to return back.

They told me that he was now adopted and was doing really well in his new home!

I could not be happier!!!

 

Jamie – may your new home bring you joy, safety, love, and all the toys and food you may love:)

I hope all animals will find their best homes sooner than later.

I hope we all will do, however small it can be, our parts to care for the animals; whether it is fostering, donating food or other items or funds, or just helping an animal in need.

Thank you my friends for being here to support me while I went thru this emotional turbulence. Now I am at peace….

🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

feeling lucky again

I lost my reading glasses while returning back from an appointment. The moment I realized this, i first check everywhere at home and then decided to walk back to the appointment place. I was worried because while I have another pair, the lost was the one that I like and am comfortable with.

So, I left home and walked only 20 meters and there they were! Right in the middle of the road! I affectionately picked my glasses up, cleaned and put them where they belong to 🙂

I am grateful for finding it so easily and undamaged. It could have been somewhere I could never find; it could have been picked up by someone else; or it could have been run over by a car and broken. Yet, it was not.

Perhaps it is true that sometimes happiness occurs when we get something back, which we have not appreciated while in our possession/life, even though it deserved it well.

 

things that make me happy

After occasional yet permanent rants of mine about the negativity and tiredness around the issues, work, and other stuff in my life, I have prepared “a list of things that make me happy“.

It is good to remember these as I have a tendency to dwell into negativity. Once I started writing this list, it grew pretty fast. I am very pleased with this activity and reminding myself about all the things I have and I do not have (such as sickness or unsafe conditions).

I must acknowledge the support and motivation by NinaSusan about this activity; her question in a comment to one of my posts drove me to post the list – so appreciated 🙂

 

THINGS AND PEOPLE THAT MAKE ME HAPPY

Work:

working nice and easy and taking care of stuff make me happy

coming up with new ideas makes me happy

recognition of my efforts and projects makes me happy

having a great office with windows, great view, and functional furniture makes me happy

being able to brew my coffee in my office makes me happy

flexibility around my schedule makes me happy

being professional makes me happy

being usually tough when faced with adversary or bad attitude makes me happy

having a great salary and benefits makes me happy

having a small salary increase every year makes me happy

having a relatively stable and respected job makes me happy

training and teaching young professionals makes me happy

being creative and resourceful makes me happy

working with great people makes me happy

being highly productive makes me happy

insisting on good quality work makes me happy

 

Family:

having an awesome, supportive, thoughtful, and loving family makes me happy

these people being safe and sound makes me extra happy

 

Home:

having a yard makes me happy

having a large house with functional rooms and kitchen/bathrooms makes me happy

having minimal and functional furniture makes me happy

having a computer, TV, cable, and internet makes me happy

having many books to enjoy makes me happy

my spices make me happy

having a house with large windows and sunlight exposure makes me happy

being safe makes me happy

living close to downtown makes me happy

being close to my work place makes me happy

being close to bus stops makes me happy

being close to restaurants, second hand bookstore, and grocery shops makes me happy

having an old house, which forced me to save more aggressively, makes me happy

 

Finances:

having a  good salary makes me happy

having insurances makes me happy

having a healthy chequeing account (i.e. not negative) makes me happy

having an RRSP account and maximizing it in the last 10 years makes me happy

having a TFSA account as an emergency fund makes me happy

having a retirement plan and investing every year makes me happy

spending much less than before makes me happy

removing two significant costs from my life makes me happy

being abundant makes me happy

having future plans for investment and mortgage payment makes me happy

having cash in my pocket makes me happy

being generous with my friends and people I work with when needed makes me happy

stocking up durable items when they are on sale makes me happy

seeing the positive difference that my budget makes in my finances makes me happy

 

hobbies, life-style, and others:

coffee makes me happy

baking bread and experimenting with yeast and dough makes me happy

reading and buying books make me happy

peanut butter makes me happy

no food waste policy of mine makes me happy

decluttering makes me happy

shopping makes me happy

spending time with good people makes me happy

watching TV shows or movies makes me happy

listening to music makes me happy

writing makes me happy

reading blogs on interesting topics makes me happy

supportive people/friends/co-workers/bloggers make me happy

walking and sweating makes me happy

eating healthy makes me happy

eating oranges, avocado, water melon, and berries makes me happy

eating carbs makes me happy

having great memories makes me happy

national or international trips makes me happy

being at the airport and leaving everything behind makes me happy

having useful stuff at home and using them till they are worn and thorn makes me happy

using cleaning clothes rather than paper towels makes me happy

nice scents makes me happy

my perfume and hand-soap makes me happy

the scent of my shampoo and conditioner makes me happy

my floss makes me happy

having an adequate amount of clothes makes me happy

my sun-glasses makes me happy

not eating too much and losing, however slowly, and looking better make me happy

my annual vacation with my family makes me happy

resolving issues makes me happy

my pens, notebooks, and scrap papers make me happy

my slippers make me happy

my fluffy socks make me happy

my office snacks make me happy

gifts I receive makes me happy

doing light weight training and seeing my muscles developing makes me happy

having an almost minimalist life-style and furniture makes me happy

sunlight makes me happy

anticipation of the seeds I planted in the yard blooming makes me happy

having a good sleep makes me happy

taking the bus makes me happy

having a nice hair cut makes me happy

my functional purses makes me happy

my loyalty cards and the points I use for useful items make me happy

being kind and helpful makes me happy

my new water jar I use at the office makes me happy

frozen food in my freezer makes me happy

weekends and taking time away from work makes me happy

having no critical disease or condition makes me happy

my nice dentist/doctor makes me happy

my imagination and determination make me happy

my resilience makes me happy

………..

 

The list is really long 🙂

 

the quest for happiness

The more I write about happiness, the better I understand about it.

Yesterday I wrote about it here; comments and interactions by other bloggers were great, too. I understood somethings; about myself, about happiness, and about how other individuals see it.  Thank you everyone who commented.

I understood that the definition of happiness may be not one, but many.

I understood that if the power of being happy is in ourselves, then that means we are responsible for our own unhappiness. Boy… Does that mean I am silly, incapacitated, or weak (otherwise I would be happy?). Does that mean my “happiness genes” are mutated? I strongly react against this statement; I believe things out of our control can greatly influence our chances of happiness and how we feel. I would have never chosen to be unhappy. Why would anyone choose to be unhappy? Unhappiness is not a choice. Not mine. Not many people I know who were unhappy. You cannot stand tall, laugh, and glow when you have lost or never have had things, people, opportunities, loves, and all bunch of other things that affect you today. You can choose to move on with your life maybe. You can choose to forget maybe. You can pretend to be happy maybe. But sometimes our circumstances lack the conditions to be happy. No matter how some of us try hard to be happy. Can we really blame this person for not being happy?

I understood that I could be clinically depressed nowadays as I have everything I need; I have a great family, a great and meaningful job, finances and anything else I can need in the material world. I lack no material. But I lack happiness, the zest and excitement of life.

I understood that I find in me the right to be happy. I demand happiness. I demand my right to be happy. I am rebelling against the status quo re; unhappy state.

I understood that if that turns out to be because of a chemical imbalance in my brain, I will regret not going to a doctor before. Nobody deserves to be unhappy and miss their life because of a chemical imbalance.

I understood that I am not the only one with a quest and thirst for happiness.

I understood that my happiness and unhappiness might be different than others’ experiences. As I wrote as a response to a comment; “sometimes we must accept that we do not have all the answers and we cannot get everyone’s circumstances. In those cases, empathy has the softest voice and silence has the sweetest tune“. I may not understand your unhappiness and you may not get mine. Assuming that we understand and have all the answers you or I need is not right. Discussions are helpful, but sometimes empathy and silence are the best ways to respond to someone unhappy.

I may be depressed but not even once I thought about leaving life. That makes me excited 🙂 I hope I have a long and well life in front of me, in which I will keep exploring myself, life as a whole, and become happy.

happiness

Since I do not know how to make myself happy, I turned into the internet for information about happiness.

There are a number of sites; some of them makes sense, some of them absolutely nonsense (those that put the entire responsibility of your unhappiness on your own shoulder. As if nothing else can influence, diminish, or generate it).

Anyways, following happiness tips are the ones that I remember now:

  • Live a simple life
  • Help others
  • Aim for less
  • Be kind to yourself
  • Forgive more
  • Be positive
  • Control your mental chatter
  • Exercise
  • Socialize
  • Meditate
  • Find meaning in what you do
  • Breathe
  • Eat well

bla bla bla bla…

So boring.

I can tell from my own experience some of these do not make people happy unless they really need it (e.g. eating well).

Exercise is great, can make one feel better, but does that mean we need to exercise all the time?

Meditation is not for everyone.

We all have some meaning in whatever we do; whether it is our job, cooking for others, or caring and helping others.

Socializing is great but only with the right people.

Forgiving is great but it does not help if your unhappiness is not caused by old issues and scars.

I live a simple life and I breathe and I am trying to be kind to myself and help others. And yet, I am not happy.

Three of these may help me relax more, though; being positive, aiming for less, and controlling my mental chatter. As a perfectionist and realist, these can really help subsidize my mental anguish.

Yet, I have been aware of these quite some time and so far I was not able to make myself happy. So maybe it is the time that I ask my doctor to prescribe me an anti-depressant. Perhaps I too have a chemical imbalance, which unless restored by medication will continue to make me unhappy.

Every one deserves to be happy. So do I.

on happy, unhappy, and neutral mood

Today I have decided to check time to time how I was feeling during the day. In a few cases I did that I found that I was feeling okay (i.e. neutral); neither unhappy or happy; neither stressful nor un-stressful. Neither joyful nor un-joyful.

At first I thought this was not good as I am determined to make myself happy from yesterday on.  Only later I realized that that was actually not bad; I could as well be unhappy, stressful, and miserable. But I was not. That should be something to be grateful for 🙂

I remember 2 different times in my life when I had felt happy for extended periods of time for no apparent reasons:

First, many years ago when I had first moved here. I had got the greatest job I had dreamed for many decades (literally); my finances were better, and I had the job security for the first time in my long career. I could not help but feel genuinely happy 🙂 This feeling of happiness lasted around 6 months until a person I dearly loved got seriously sick.

The second one was in January this year, when I had started the yoga/stretching classes. They have had highly positive influence on my mood; I was relaxing and feeling connected to my body and myself during the sessions. It lasted until I have had back problems first and then the death of my dad at the end of February.

For a middle aged person, these two occasions of happiness may sound pathetic. Maybe it is.

But, perhaps I must explain what I mean by happiness first: when I say “happy” I mean seriously happy, elated, hopeful and joyful about everything in life and having no problem whatsoever. It is kind of different than what I have felt today, where I am neither feeling elated nor down (i.e. depressed). As a person who suffered from depression in the past, let me tell you being in a neutral state of mood is not bad, either. As a matter of fact, it is quite a progress for me.

Yet, knowing how sweet is the happy state feels, I naturally long for it.

am I the only one?

I cannot be the only one who is feeling a void part in their life; feeling the regrets for the choices made in the past that have shaped the life and life conditions for today; facing this steady and deep feeling of “I am missing something/a lot in my life“.

I cannot be.

I try to remember everybody I know in my life and the way they see their lives. Some have familial/marital problems, many have lost important people in their lives, some are dealing with or surviving critical illnesses and health problems, and so many have financial worries or hardship. I know no one who is fully content with their lives.

So after all, I must be okay, as I am not the only one.  In contrast, I seem to lack what others are wishing to have. I do not have a chronic health problem (very grateful); I am doing okay financially though I have worries for my retirement because of the future forecast of the global economy and limited savings/investments I have had so far (very grateful); I am safe and sound (very grateful); there is nothing much I can do to prevent the death of my loved ones (so acceptance…). I have every reasons to be happy!!!! So what am I bragging about?

My only problem is the lack of joy in my life.

Why is that?

Why do I not feel happy and joyful, unless I put an effort to remember things that make me happy, excited, and grateful (my joy journal page is a good example).

I do not know why I cannot be different. Smiling for no reason. Being excited by just the experience of life. Taking things a little bit easier. Realizing how lucky I am in so many different ways.

I know a couple of reasons:

  1. Taking everything, including myself, too serious: Partly because of the work I have. Everything needs to be free of error and the highest quality possible. When my work is dependent on others, certainly unless I trust them 100%, gaining confidence in the work produced is hard. I have suffered a lot from this and constant checking and correcting things. I gotta relax. I gotta relax into the process and hire people who are good. Really good. This gotta change. How?
  2. Not having interests and hobbies out of work/house life: My primary interest out of work is to read books, to read other resources, and to write. None of these requires to be away from home. Ok. What else? I am not interested in book or cooking clubs or others; I am not interested in vacationing in interesting places; I am not particularly interested in socializing; I am not interested in spending time out of my office or home, other than for cafe. So? what are my alternatives?
  3. Living alone for a long time: Since my teenage years, I have been away from my family first for education and then for my work and career. I have taken care of everything myself, as there has been no one around to help or support. I got cranky tired, and burnt out many times. I am over-protective of myself. I lack human compassion and support in near vicinity. For some reason, I have not formed my own family, with a spouse and kids. This has not been a conscious choice; it just has been what it has been. These meant that I had to not only support, protect, and take care of myself, but also cheer up and make happy.

So my final diagnosis is that I am not capable of being happy because I take everything serious, as a serious problem to solve right away, and I am not capable of finding things, activities, or people that will cheer me up, excite me, and make me happy.

So, the problem is me.

OK. They say finding the cause of the problem is finding the half of the solution.

I would like to get the strength to follow up on this 50% of the solution and take steps for the rest of the 50%.

I want to be happy and I want to make myself happy.

I guess from now on, I will have one great promise and duty for myself; to make myself happy.

I hope I will be granted the wisdom, opportunity, and clarity of mind that will help with me finding these ways to happiness….

immersing in positive feelings

You know what? I think we should immerse ourselves in positive feelings as much as we do the negative ones..

So, go ahead think about the nice things that happened today; the nice behavior you have witnessed; kindness you have experienced; arrival of a message long waited for; a note from the loved one that arrived right on time; the memory of someone making you smile, better yet, laugh; the food you have enjoyed; the money you saved; the cloth you bought lovingly; the book that opened your imagination; the tears that gave you emotions and strength; the excitement you have felt; the smile of a child; the success you have achieved in one of your aims; the positive feelings that have arisen just because.

🙂

Empty your thoughts and choose to be happy right at this moment! 🙂

happiness

I have many objectives in my live that I believe will make it better, make me healthier and wealthier (at least debt free). These are more or less attainable.

My life-long objective was to be happy. I have had happy periods in my life, which I cherish. These memories also make me believe that I can be happy.

Do not get me wrong, I am not unhappy. I just would not define myself as a happy person.

I just have had a conversation with a friend of mine. She is a single mom and having financial problems. On top of that, she feels stuck and hopeless. Obviously a down time for her. I could do nothing but listen to her. I understand that she is deeply unhappy.

It is selfish, but after hearing her hurdles, I felt blessed. So what if I do not feel happy? I at least did not have the challenges my friend have: I was in a safer environment, largely abundant, with a stable and awesome job that stresses me but also excites me. I never needed to think about finding the food for the next meal in my life. Maybe I am spoiled in fact.

I always believed that happiness is not a neutral state (as the state I am in where I am neither happy nor unhappy). It is rather a positive state where I smiled for no reason, looked at life and observed it rather than reacting to it, and hummed songs along the way. Life was very enjoyable then.

I also know what unhappiness is; it is agonizing, painful, and depressing. Very negative state.

I have had long, unhappy periods of life in the past. I wish not to feel that way again. So what if I do not feel happy? At least I do not feel unhappy right now.

But, as soon as I read the above sentence, something inside me started to rebel; I want to be happy!

So how do we get happy?

I have analyzed the times I was happy. I have no particular reason that I can put my finger on. It is so fuzzy that seriously if you asked me what would make me happy for a prolonged time, I am sure I could not tell you what that was.

This does not mean that I do not get momentarily happy; I do. when I see my family and friends, when I travel, when I realize something, when I have good luck in something… But momentarily being happy and being happy for extended periods of time are different; it is the latter that I am curious about.

Is it possible that we get happier as we age? i am not sure. I for sure deal with things and emotions a little bit better now that I have experience. But as I age, the probability of serious issues and experiences (such as sickness, losing someone loved, grieving etc.) also increase. I do not know, but I have been feeling like I am at the best period of my life. And I should be very grateful for it. Perhaps I should forget about happiness and accept what I have as the best.

Still though something inside me rebels…

random thoughts

I am firm that I made peace with my body.

I am not young any more and as I am not stupid either, I can see what the aging has been doing to my body. My body is not the same as 10 years ago. I have no idea what will happen to it in another 10 years, either.

It is not that I am not feeling sorry; I am.

I used to take care of my body better prior to the last 7 years. I am glad I have. It is true that I could (and I still can) take steps to nourish and tone up my skin, my muscles. I can for example work on my biceps or triceps. Legs. Abs. Neck. I know I can do these.

There are many women out there who have taken better care of their body by diet and exercise and whose bodies hence looks younger. Maybe their genes helped, too. I do not know. But good job – please keep going.

It is just that this (aging and the associated changes in the body) is a normal extension of life. A privilege of living to this age. Who said that I could not live to age?

Honestly I am okay with my body and with aging. As long as both are healthy and happy.

decision making is hard sometime

Sometime I can make a decision right away. I am talking about daily-life related decisions, such as what to buy, what not to do, how to have my relaxing routine etc.

At work as well; if it is clear and I am knowledgeable or experienced about, I can make a decision in a split second. I am sure many of us behave like this.

Then, there are other decisions, other situations that require a little bit more reflection. In such cases, if the knowledge and prior experience is not available, I found the best thing is to wait a while to re-examine the situation and then make a decision. Surely, others’ opinions I sometime ask or I do my own research, or just listen to my guts. I started this strategy a while ago when I experienced a set-back when I did not re-visit the situation and made a deficient decision. Since then, I practice this “wait and re-visit” policy.

Sometimes, just sometimes though it is not clear to me how much I should reflect, how long I should spend reflecting or re-examining the situation. These times I feel like having a “mental paralysis” which is not fruitful at all. It is also very painful and is draining. Damage to the confidence should be acknowledged as well. Plus, I have to deal with my own self-critique that blasts me all the time.

Sometimes, I just gave up. Not in the sense that I do not care, but in the sense that I accept the limitations of my decisions or the possible consequences. In those times, I believe doing something is better than not doing anything.

So today I made a decision on one of the projects that I had stopped because of an issue. That is an exciting project with very promising results. There is a way to fix the issue, yet this itself may create more problems. So I decided to rather go ahead with minor modifications, which although will not resolve the issue, will at least get the project completed with a little bit of limitation. That is quite a relief.

I am seriously relieved. I know in a couple of weeks I can prioritize that project and finish it. That makes me happy 🙂

future goals

It is an unremarkable day in the sense that nothing highly positive or highly negative happened. It is an unremarkable, but a nice, pleasant day. I think that is a fair conclusion.

While writing this, I wondered about what I expected from my day? From myself?

I cannot possibly control or influence the climate, what will others do or say, what kind of news or emails I will get. I have nothing to do but accept them as they appear. Ok.

I can however influence my life, my thoughts, actions, and feelings. When I think about this, it is so powerful…

What would I like to do with my life?

For a long time now I have not had long-term goals in life. I am not sure whether this is a good thing or not. I used to have goals (such as better work, better living conditions, better life style, etc.) and thinking about them and working through these goals were exciting, interesting, and fulfilling.

I am not sure whether my lack of future goals, at least in terms of better job or living conditions, are because I attained them. I am happy with my job and would not like to change it unless something extraordinary would happen. I have not been even thinking about applying for jobs for some years. It is true that I had reacted to the city I am living in now for 6-7 years for quite a long time (weather, grey sky, its being a small city and as such can get boring… etc.), but in the last one year or so (since I bought my house), this feeling also left me; I do not care about the weather, the sky, or how boring it can be. Maybe I got used to be bored. Maybe that is the main reason. because realistically, yes I am bored of doing the same thing, eating the same (limited types of food), seeing the same streets, and shopping at the same malls.

I have had goals related to my life-style though, which I somehow could not implement yet.

1. Weight situation: I have been thinking about losing the extra weight that I gained since I moved here. 30 pounds to be exact. It is quite a bit of fat that I need to say good-bye to. And, nothing much has been happening (at least permanently). The recent loss of 5 pounds is well received, but I keep wonder whether it is permanent and continuous.

2. Eating better: I think I am eating less and less healthy. Less fruits, less veggies. This mostly happened after I moved to my house. I am not sure what is prompting it; considering that I have a bigger and more functional kitchen. I have no idea…

3. Exercise: Nope; since I came here, my exercise levels dropped to maybe 5% of what it was used to be. In terms of gym/health club/cardio exercise and walking. I used to walk a lot. Now, if I can walk half an hour (from office to home, for example), I congratulate myself. Will the spring/summer help? I think so. Our winters are quite harsh, that is for sure, where we have a lot of snow. Since the snow is lifted off our streets, I have been more active. I think I will be hopeful about the coming months and take the opportunity to walk more. Even going to the shopping malls, browsing the stores, and walking around are better than sitting on the couch.

4. Being happier and relaxer: When compared to past I am. Interesting and appreciated. So this one goal actually seems to be attained! Awesome 🙂

So, the question I would like to ask to myself is then how I can use my power to direct my life and my life-styles to a form that would please me?

Something, a great opportunity, to think about.

my love, do something others have not given in

make me another cup of coffee

with awake eyes, just get out of the room

let me lie on the couch, lazily looking at the TV

exhange “good mornings” with a melody

to conceal the shyness in us, as a momentary remedy

pour the coffee in a mug, put it on the little table

let me get off the couch, looking all able

bring that topping you got, let me shake it this time

let me smell and take a sip, oh heaven!

my love, do something others have not given in

please make me another cup of coffee

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context dependency of inspirational quotes

I am inspired by many quotes that make sense to me at the right time. However, I keep noticing that quotes usually direct readers into one direction only no matter what the circumstance are; I believe such quotes can do more harm than good to the reader. For example, let’s assume a quote said the following (I am making it up):

“relax no matter what; it is your right”.

that is a great quote if you are stressed, down, or otherwise looking for a reinforcement/motivation to relax. But I am asking you; is it a good idea to relax under every single circumstances? What if you were under a real threat, such as being attacked or harassed at the street? In an abusive relationship?

Consider the following quote (again I am making it up):

“be happy no matter what – it is your right”

certainly we all deserve to be happy – but can we be really happy if we were seriously sick and needed to get immediate medical care and if we were away from the hospitals? Would we be happy if we stayed in a work that stresses, under-appreciates, or abuses our efforts when we had other alternatives? Would we be happy if we had lost someone dear to us? Would we be happy if we were in a horrible apartment that was infested with bugs/rodents, with leaky roof, and mold that make us sick, psychologically or physically – especially if we could change that apartment for a better one?

I am not saying we should not read or get inspired by quotes; by all means, yes, if they are good for us. But let’s just remember that they usually have no context dependency – thus cannot be applicable in all circumstances. And if they direct us to a different direction than an appropriate one, they may even harm us. Read and think first – is that what suits to your current situation? if not, dump it for now and move on with something that will make total sense to you.

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