give me one reason…

Give me one reason to not eat junk food NOW!!!

It has been a week (today is the 7th day) that I refrain from eating it, and boy, do I crave?

DO… I… CRAVE..?

I crave like crazy – especially at around noon/afternoon.

I somehow manage it in the evenings (by eating healthier food). But the office cravings are sickening me, and making me want to go to the nearest convenience store and purchase bags and packs of junk food.

Will the cravings ever get better before I quit and start eating it again?

Because I can quit RIGHT NOW!!!!

Argh.

 

holidays diary – Day 4

Cannot believe it has been 4 days already – where does the time go?

Yesterday night I let myself to enjoy the quite and peaceful night, went to bed around 11pm, and got up at around 8 am this morning. Yuppie! It was not 5 or 6 am. It was 8 am. It felt good 🙂

Since I finished my house cleaning chore, and everywhere is closed, I decided to do some work today. It went well in the morning, kind of slow and reluctant at around noon, and then quite productive in the afternoon. This latter part was exciting -when I explore new things that increase my professional skills, I love it 🙂

I must say that today was a day of healthy diet. My breakfast/lunch consisted of sourdough, tomatoes, and coffee, and my dinner consisted of a cauliflower dish I love so much. I even drank two cups of green tea this afternoon. Healthy day indeed 🙂

I have work to do tomorrow, and then I must be at work Thursday and Friday. After that though, for 5 days I want to take a break and see some of my friends. I really would like this. I found that a way to ensure timely progress of work is giving short deadlines for myself; short deadlines, like 15 min, work wonders if I am stuck at something. So, let’s hope they will help me out this week.

With this good wished, I end today’s account.

Let’s remember that the new year is the year or Ease, Comfort, and Appreciation!

 

a little bit of self-tolerance is awesome

I was not feeling great the whole day as I am, as usual, behind some of the tasks that I have assigned to myself at the first place. All work related of course. The main idea was that I would do these so that I could feel completely free to take a rest during the holidays. I have 3 more days but I am assuming some will lag and I will take care of them during the holidays. Felt exhausted the whole day as a result….

So what?

Not the first time that I had a hard day or not the first time that I will work during the holidays.

So with this, just an hour ago or so, I am relaxed a little bit and feeling better.

I like the fact that I really want to take a break during the holidays. I know that it will energize me and I will once again feel ready for the next 6 months. So, I will take this  and let it sink.

I will rest and I will take a break during the holidays. Period.

One thing I really would like to do during the holidays is doing something for my own enjoyment only. Not a chore (like cleaning or decluttering), but for my own enjoyment.

I decided that reading a novel or two would just fit this well. I am excited!

Another thing I would love to do is buying some aromatic stuff. I have had an essential oil that has been lightening my senses for some time. I think it is time that I get a couple of more, and enjoy.

Third would be getting rid of some of the things that have been bothering me. So, 20 min ago I decided to give up junk food, which has been not only sinking my purse but also elevating my internal criticism. I am not sure how well I will keep this plan, but feeling in control is great and uplifting. I want to hang onto this feeling.

Fourth thing would be paying more attention to my body’s needs and eating much better, for goodness’ sake. My diet has been very “junky” for some time. This week my grocery shopping will be focused on treating my body well. I am thinking different fruits (e.g. anything other than citrus and apple that I regularly consume) and drinking more tea. The good thing is that since last week I have been drinking tea at the office, for which I must congratulate myself.

Fifth – gifting myself. Thinking about all the money I will save by not eating junky stuff, it is time to make plans to get new stuff. Today I bought myself two fluffy socks, which I have been meaning to get for a year or so. That is great 🙂 I know one of my friends is getting me a plant as a gift, for which I cannot even wait 🙂 A new excitement 🙂 Together with the aroma therapy items, these three are the minimum gifts I will give to myself.

How will you gift yourself in these last days of the year?

fluffy zucchini and savory dish

Baking and oven dishes are becoming my current, newly found excitement in life 🙂

I have had two small/medium sized zucchinis that have been waiting in the fridge. As part of my self-imposed no-food-waste policy, together with my recent interest in baking and experimentation with flour and baking powder, I decided to improvise a dish.

Here is the product 🙂

———————————————————————–

*1 dessert spoon = 0.8 table spoon

Recipe:

1. Grate two small/medium sized zucchini – I left the skin on

2. Coarsely chop a small onion and mix with zucchini

3. Add salt, a pinch of black pepper, and 3/4 dessert spoon of savory

4. Add two dessert spoons of whole wheat flour and 1 dessert spoon of baking powder (in both of the cases, the spoons were over-flowing with the flour/powder)

5. Add 1.5 dessert spoon of olive oil and 1/2 cup of water. Mix everything

6. Whisk 2 eggs with a fork and add to the mixture. Mix all together.

7. Place in an oven dish and bake for 75 min. At the beginning I was not sure what temperature to use or how long to bake. So the first 30 min I baked it at 350 F. Since it did not look well cooked or brownish on top, after 30 min I increased the temperature to 375 F and baked for another 45 min.

Voila!

Bon appetite 🙂

IMG_8351

 

 

 

challenging myself

I have been thinking about changes that will enhance my life, my health, and my financial health for some time. I have not done anything substantial yet, which finally came to a point that the entire lack of implementation of changes started to make me unhappy with myself.

I do not need to be unhappy about myself.

The main problem of mine is that even though I know what can work, I have the confidence that they will work (I have done similar changes before), I just have a substantial need of pampering myself. The need to relax; the need to take a break from everything; the need to feel good; the need to not constrain myself. The more I pamper myself, the longer the issues remain unresolved, the heavier they accumulate as an emotional baggage.

In other words, pampering myself  = inaction = bothering myself more over the long run.

I do not need these.

From this morning on I invited myself to several challenges:

challenge 1: take the bus (not the cab) – get up at 8.15am to catch the bus.

challenge 2: eat better and healthy – cut out the carbs and consume more veggies

challenge 3: walk an extra 30 min at the weekends

challenge 4: do not buy books for two months

challenge 5: cut out the bagel breakfast- one bagel/breakfast

challenge 6: do grocery shopping as required and buy small amounts – many stuff perished in my fridge so far – what a sad waste.

challenge 7: start listening to music and relaxing 20 min a day.

challenge 8: drink at least one cup of tea a day

challenge 9: get up in the morning and smile to yourself and hum a song

challenge 10: look outside the window at the office three times a day – enjoy the view and relax

challenge 11: record the progress in these areas in breaking the routine or joy journal categories

challenge 12: increase the contribution made to the RRSP account

challenge 13: during the day remember to smile

challenge 14: lose 15 pounds in two months – record weight and food consumed every day

challenge 15: stick to the plans – I have done these before and I can do it again

joy journal – May 9, 2015

1. I am grateful for getting up early – 8 am to be exact. I found a chance to fill the day with many activities.

2. I am grateful for having breakfast at my favourite cafe – the staff changed, which makes it a little bit different. Change is good, though I would prefer the previous staff – she was really nice and kind.

3. I am grateful for getting bored at home and going to the office around 11 am. I have worked with a team member of mine, who was also at work. With time available, we have taken care of some stuff. I could not finish my own work but that is okay. I worked a little bit back at home, which made me pleased. I also printed out some documents which I can handle tomorrow.

4. I am grateful for drinking two cups of teas today at the office – I am feeling better when I drink tea 🙂

5. I am grateful for walking back from office to home. I was feeling lazy (as usual) but decided to walk anyhow. That amazes me; good job! I should integrate more walking here and there, especially at the weekends. It is relaxing, healthy, and makes me feel good.

6. I am grateful for cleaning my home – honestly I did not want to do it today (one of the reasons I went to office today). But I did it. I also opened the windows and let fresh air in. Additionally I noticed that the crack on my wall is getting worse – it is time to get a second opinion and start taking care of it before it gets way worse. Not that I feel good about it, no. I quietly wished that the crack was random, due to the warming temperatures. But no, I guess it is more like a foundation problem. Emotions around financial hardship, stress to find and arrange for a good repair company, and finding the time to deal with all of these are not joyful. But, knowing that I have nothing to do but work towards the repair at least focuses me. Focus gives me peace of mind.

7. I am grateful that I finally focused and planned my work-related tasks. Now, I have a plan. When you have a plan, an itemized and scheduled plan, it does not feel overwhelming. One step at a time. things are clear in my mind and thus I feel motivated to take the steps.

8. I am grateful that I also listed the things I have to take care in my life. I have been aware of them for a long time, with little determination but nothing too substantial. For example, my weight, my unhealthy eating habits, the need for more exercise, and reducing my expenses. I have done all of these before and I was more or less successful – especially about frugality and healthy diet+exercise. I have the expertise, I have the confidence, I just do not have the determination… I just gotta take action.

9. I am grateful for figuring out why I constantly feel the need to pamper myself. because I have too many things to deal with (work, house, and life). Since these issues are not going anywhere unless I start taking care of them, they just keep accumulate and collectively bother me. I need a plan. I need to stick to it. I will write on this later in detail – it will help me to activate the plan.

10. I am grateful for having a healthy dinner tonite.

11. I am grateful for having the night to myself – quiet, lovely, and peaceful.

12. I am grateful for getting ready for a good night sleep. I really hope that it will be a restful sleep.

13. I am grateful for tomorrow being sunday. I can go to office, I can take my time and relax at home, or I can do whatever I would like to do.

14. For some reason, I am grateful for not shopping in the last 10 days or so. Could not figure out the reason yet 🙂

joy journal – March 17, 2015

here are today’s joyful events, thoughts, and experiences 🙂

1. I am grateful for shovelling intensely in the morning. The snow was too much and the plows did not do a good service to me by throwing all snow from street to the front of my door. It was a great exercise to open a passage to the street, though 🙂

2. I am grateful that I did not have a meeting or so in the morning, which allowed me to shovel. Otherwise I would have to miss the meeting.

3. I am grateful that instead of buying coffee and some unhealthy breakfast treats from the cafeteria, I chose to brew my coffee in the office.

4. I am grateful that while there was a lot of snow, there was no ice that made walking difficult today.

5. I am grateful that I worked efficiently at the office, especially in the afternoon/evening. Feeling the satisfaction 🙂

6. I am grateful that I catched the bus back to home 🙂

7. I made a concious decision to enjoy my night and take my time relaxing, even though I came home late from office. That is relaxing, very much indeed!

8. I had a different type of dinner today (different than regular ones); it feels good I am thinking; if I continue to be concious about my eating, I can greatly help my body with its well-being.

9. I am grateful for feeling less stressful compared to last week; I believe the long-weekend helped me to relax.

10. I am grateful that I started an urgent task, which I was not very motivated to do. Now that I started it quite strong, I am sure it will be completed soon; yay!

11. I am grateful for my warm house in this chilly time of the year; wishing everyone, especially the homeless people, a safe and warm place to spend the nights.

12. I am grateful for my relax schedule this week – it helps me to not only relax but also to perform serious work that requires attention and focus.

13. I am grateful that I am not worried much about another snow storm that will likely blast us tomorrow/thursday. Maybe I will have to shovel more, maybe it will be another snow day; whatever it is, I will take it (unless snow makes it completely impossible for me to leave my house..I may get near-crazy then.. I will wait and see)

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