Joy journal – February 11, 2021

It has been some time that I wrote on my joy journal. Not that I have not been having joyful moments, or needed to remind myself the experiences, things, and people/animals that had some sort of positive values.

I was just simply engulfed too much in the COVID-19 matters, the lock-down, and work. Anyways.

I am grateful for the followings today:

  • for sleeping well and waking up feeling good – check

I have been sleeping much better because of the lock-down. I have no shame telling this. I also have been sleeping much better since I started my anti-depressants and my foster cat Mona joined my life. Insomnia is a terrible thing. Your mind races from one thought to other, without finding any solution to the situation or to the issues at hand. A tired mind leads to a tired body. Not a cool thing. For over 3-4 years I slept around 4 hours every night and then woke up, always feeling like shit and stressed.. It is over for now, for which I am extremely grateful

  • for Mona being well and safe – check

I really love my foster cat. She is the most joyful, kind, pleasant, and loving thing in my life. She changed my life for the better and every minute spent with her is precious.

  • for working well and without much of a stress – check

my goodness – my work stress has reduced quite a bit and I can work and enjoy completing things. I am so pumped up by these feelings. I must say I spend much less time on uncritical things than before – I do not need to check every word, every calculation. I can, rather, make it an effective and joyful experience by not straining myself and by not needing an extreme focus to work at hand 🙂

  • for eating healthy – check

I love apples, but in the last few weeks I have not eaten any. I bought apples yesterday and this noon I enjoyed one. I really like this fruit that is neither too sweet nor too sour. I also ate yogurt, which is one of my daily snacks. It nourishes and hydrates my body. Feeling good 🙂

  • for not going to the office – check

our case numbers have been good, but are increasing. So I keep to home mostly, without going to the office. The new variants are making us anxious and just because the COVID-19 situation is much better here than many other places around the globe does not mean I should relax. I must admit I had relaxed and did not care much about the pandemic (while also socially distancing and wearing masks/gloves). I was shopping like any other time. Now, I feel like I need to start being a little bit more cautious, as we will never know when the variants will hit my region.

Our workplace allows us to go use our offices, but I will mostly keep it to my home. So, I am grateful I have this flexibility

  • for tomorrow being Friday – yey!

I am very excited about this! Since new year, I have completed a number of things that were on my plate and handled many difficult people and situation. This weekend I will work again, only to finish small staff so that from next Monday on, I can start focusing on big plans. feeling excited 🙂

  • for having all the essential items at home – check

I have been shopping to make sure in case of a strict lock-down I could still be able to comfortably feed myself (and Mona). I have everything, enough for at least 3 months. I can get some laundry detergent sometime, and maybe facial tissues, but that is pretty much it. I am glad that I stocked up on things that are durable and useful so that I can feel secure if pandemic starts to soar here again

  • for being alright and grateful for today and everything and everyone in it – check

🙂

COVID-19 (May 13, 2020)

I am sick of eating canned and frozen food.

I want fresh produce and I am going to shop this Friday. While I am very much scared of catching this virus, I am also scared of the quality and nutrition value of the food I am getting. So, instead of every 3 weeks, my decision today is to do the grocery shopping every two weeks.

It has been only 2 months and I feel like it has started to get on my nerves.

It is Friday :)

Friday is here – yay! 🙂

Today has been a good day with getting up early and working till 4 pm intensely. We are moving a number of projects at the same time and this week has been essential in figuring out some blocks and jumping over. Feeling positive 🙂

I have taken steps to make my life a little bit healthier and cooked myself chicken soup, which is always nourishing. I also purchased a number of greens, which I am looking forward to eating.

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My mind is cluttered with negativity due to work relations, but I keep my focus in the future benefits and do not allow myself to break these hard relations yet. Some people can really derail and demoralize, but the strength comes from resisting the emotions and believing in future good. But, honestly in some cases it is so difficult, but one day and one hard and ridiculous person at a time, I am surviving and lifting myself up. Rant over 🙂

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Since it is Friday, I am looking at early morning of Saturday busy with house chores. After that, depending on the weather I would like to see myself visiting thrift stores, just for the joy of it. I am not looking for something particular, maybe a book or two, or a DVD. DVDs are something that I do not use much, but last time I had seen copies of the TV series Dexter. I ask myself now – why not? I can binge watch them and forget everything!

These being said, I just registered with the local library (what was I waiting for?) and hope that I can utilize their DVDs and audio books. I confess that I have no experience with audio books but I kind of feel that I may enjoy listening to them while also comfortably resting on the couch. Let me know if you have any recommendations about audio books – it is exciting 🙂

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My plants are doing well and I am open to get new plants. Each plant is an excitement; how do they grow? What do they want to flourish? How do they propagate? Who can I share them with? I am glad to say that even though I feel like I am hoarding plants, I also love sharing them. So far, I gave cuttings or small plants to 11-12 of my colleagues! Many of them gave me from their own plants as well. This feels very kind to me. I say that because I have a colleague who only likes to ask for and constantly. I do not mind it, but then I also find the constant nagging interesting. Do you?

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This topic brings me back to people I call cheap. These are the people who have the means for themselves, often high level, but when comes to others they seem to be poorer than anyone else and can even take the things they can afford from others if they think they can get it. I know only a few people like this, but it really bothers me. Often associated with these people is the tendency to also humiliate others for not affording high-price items or telling everyone abruptly the latest expensive item they acquired (by also announcing the price associated with the item).

I wonder what would prompt these behavior in these people? Were they very poor at some point in their life (which is perfectly fine, by the way – I know a number of people who were very poor but had the richest heart and the mind I have ever seen) and now enjoy their wealth and cannot keep the show to themselves? Are they trying to create an image that would elevate their social status (who buys that, by the way? Not me)? Or, are they just poor souls that try to compensate for their internal poverty with their talks (which I would rather think is the right answer)?

How do you deal with this kind of people? I try not to pay much attention and feed their approval needs, after a while they cease to put up with their shows. I am compassionate but that ends there. For each cheap person encounter, I now decide that I will donate to a charity whatever I can to cleanse the negative emotions they create in me.

How about that??

I think it is true that everything happens for a reason, even these people that get on my nerves :)))) If I can further develop this “turning the negative into positive” attitude, I think I will be happier and wiser 🙂

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my adventures with plastic shopping bags, kefir cheese, and ice cream

I love ice cream in a hot summer day – there is something child-like about it that makes me look at the world with the eyes of an 8 years old. I love this feeling of carelessness, pure joy, and being in the moment 🙂

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My aim to reduce the shopping bags at my home and not picking up new ones continues with 80-90% success. There were times that I had to get the bags at stores, but at least I do not have an over-flowing amount of them in my kitchen drawer anymore. I am determined to keep only around 20 or so of them at home to use as garbage bin liner, but not more than that. 

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And I have been trying kefir cheese for some time. I think I have had my forth one this week. You simply collect 700-1000 ml kefir, pour down a strainer lined by a clean cloth (not necessarily a cheese cloth), and put the strainer in a large bowl where the strainer will have some room (so that the strained liquid will collect at the bottom of the bowl away from the strainer), and place the assembly in the fridge over night. The majority of the whey would have drained until then. You can also gently squeeze the curds/cloth to remove extra liquid.

One can eat this – it is delicious, but if you are looking for a thicker one, then change the cloth (cheese cloth is fine now as the curds are large enough so that they will not be strained through the cheese cloth), and place in the fridge. I found that at that point the liquid drainage is not strong enough and the majority of the draining is actually made by the cloth. So change it frequently to encourage further removal of whey. I sometimes place the cheese/curds between two plastic tubs (the one at the bottom would have holes in it to help drainage) and put weight on the top tub to encourage further drainage. But, I find that this is not necessarily an efficient and practical solution, so I rather change the cloth as it gets wet to help it thicken. It is that simple.

Use it as it is, or mix with herbs or even fruits (like mushy berries or banana).

My next trial will be a ricotta made by milk and whey; cannot wait! 🙂

Healthy and fun to do!

Bon appetite!

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random thoughts

It is a true summer day; bright, blue, and warm 🙂

I have had a good work at the office but left early in the afternoon as I was trying to find a solution to an idea. I must apply for new projects to get interest in them and then lead them to completion. I am traditionally good about this, but the two ideas that I was brewing lately seem to be done by others, which necessitates me to find new ideas.

Finding new ideas is not the problem, but finding an idea that others will find interesting is. I realize that this is bothering me more than before and I feel at that point again where I just want to quit this line of work and do something that is more interesting, challenging, and awarding. Where I can feel great about my performance, abilities, and work. Enough is enough, is that not?

I am making an application this week. If it comes through I will be interested in making the interview and learning about myself (Will I really want this job? Will I really be willing to leave my job and life here?) and this job. I believe I can do it really well, but the question is whether or not there will be others who can make it better than me, or whether or not the human resources personnel or whoever is going to screen the applications will find me good enough for this position. All these possibilities make me feel fuzzy, but I will go ahead and make this application anyhow because I want to. Also because I can.

🙂

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My appetite is quite big nowadays, especially today. All I want to do is to eat, especially ice cream. I also want to eat pasta but goodness, if I eat it I sure will gain a pound or two (mostly water retention of course, but…). I think I crave for carbs to feel good…

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One of my aims for the summer was to reduce the consumption of canned food, especially those that I munched on in the office. I have done good so far and reduced my purchase and consumption of canned fish, yet now I feel hungry at the office, and need to bring food from home everyday. I purchased a plastic container (BPA-free) yesterday to put food in and carry it in my purse (it is large enough), and today I have had some veggies and tofu as the lunch. It was great but not enough to curb my appetite. Tomorrow I am bringing in some veggies and canned bean, and I am laughing at myself knowing what an ironic thing that is to be consuming canned food again..

I have serious concerns about this – will I really be able to eat well at the office?

I guess what I need is to plan a little bit better. Obviously the status quo is not optimum and I must refine and revise it. The objective of reducing the exposure to canned food is a good one. Finding alternatives to canned food, on the other hand, is a challenge. What can I bring in? I think cheese and hard boiled eggs as well as meatballs are great options; hard boiled eggs are awesome, I love them, but then I cannot keep eating them everyday. I have concerns re; cheese and if I can make my own cheese then I can have it, but the chances are slim to have this everyday. Meatballs are versatile alternatives and all I have to do is to prepare and cook them at the weekends (see how lazy i can get?). Also, sandwiches. If I must eat bean, the better option is to cook them myself from dry beans. I think this is what I can focus on this weekend.

And I think I should increase my purchase of veggies so that I can supplement the protein source with them.

Sigh…. So much to figure out. All in order to eat better and healthier! 🙂

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weekly budget check

It has been good week. One of these weeks where the expenses are quite low because previously I stocked up food.  Oh, well 🙂

I have had a number of #noexpense days this week; I believe Saturday, Monday-Thursday I did not spend money, not even for transportation because I made the choice to walk 🙂

So it is possible to live without the need of spending money? This, my friends, feels really good 🙂 

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Here is this week’s spendings and savings:

Weekly allowance: $120

Expenses related to the weekly allowance (grocery): $22.5

Fun funds saved this week: $120 – $22.5= $97.5

Fun funds expenses: $54

Total fun funds accumulated so far in 2017: $1,108.5 !!! 🙂 

Other expenses: $11.5 (soft drinks for the dinner I was invited to)

Savings from would-be-expenses: $32.75 (these are the savings from expenses that I would normally make, but decided not to; such as having breakfast at home rather than at a cafe, walking rather than taking the bus, using coupons etc.). 

Better than spending them, do you not think 🙂

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Mortgage pre-payment: $225.5!

I am so excited about these payments!

I believe this is my 6th pre-payment since new year. Whatever I can save without much of an effort or planning (e.g. savings from would-be-expenses and the tax return are good examples), I use as pre-payments 🙂 I estimate that I will make around 5K of pre-payments this year – let’s cross the fingers! 🙂

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Pantry and freezer treasures enjoyed this week: frozen chicken meal from the freezer; and bulghur, wild rice, red lentil, and canned corn from the pantry. Talking about #endfoodhoarding!  🙂 

And as part of my “eat more diverse food challenge”  I have consumed kefir (for the first time in my life), corn, lentil, bulghur, wild rice, carrot, meat, green salad mix, and chicken that I had not eaten the week before (and a lot of sweets at the dinner with friends – ooooops! 🙂 )

Happy savings and happy healthy eating! 🙂

 

joy journal – May 6, 2017

1. I am grateful for sleeping in today. I woke up at around 7 am again but decided to sleep some more. It was past 9.30 am that I finally got up. It made my day short but I appreciated having a lazy and cozy morning.

2. I am grateful for the breakfast I have had at home. It was healthy and filling. And, coffee was awesome! (as usual 🙂 )

3. I am grateful for wanting to walk and walking to a shopping mall. I walked around 2 hours today. Weather was awesome and I felt quite light. Walking was easy and very enjoyable. I have done very well for my health by walking 🙂

4. I am grateful for going around the thrift stores. I found nothing to buy but i am getting used to this. It is still quite exciting to check the items and hope that one or two will turn out to be mine. In the future. Eventually 🙂

5. I am grateful for my back pack. It is such a sturdy and useful thing. I always grab it whenever I go for shopping. It takes up a lot of things and make carrying items easy.

6. I am grateful for talking to my family; sister, mom, and brother today 🙂 My brother is visiting my sister and mom and it was a fun and delightful talk today.

7. I am grateful for all the healthy food I have consumed today and the milk I have drunk. All of them are helping my body keeping healthy and strong. 

8. I am grateful for enjoying the bright day with blue skies. 

9. I am grateful for the things I bought today; milk which is good for my bones; eggs which are awesome, tasty, and packed with nutrients; coffee that will last for 3-4 months; and the chocolate that felt like from heaven 🙂

10. I am grateful for taking a rest and relaxing into my Saturday night. I need to spend time alone so that I can fully relax. It is strange that when I spend time with others in the evenings, I feel like I miss something…. It is awesome to be spending time with myself 🙂

11. I am grateful for the moisturizers I have! They make my skin feel better. And they smell so good too! 🙂

12. I am grateful for dreaming yesterday. I have a new recurrent theme in my dreams. Wonder what it signifies… Life is so mysterious sometime 🙂

13. I am grateful for being grateful and taking my time to note these beautiful things, people, and experiences.

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What do I appreciate myself for today?

1. I thank myself for pampering myself with sleeping in and treating myself with chocolate! 🙂

2. I thank myself for walking and enjoying it. I now consider myself a regular walker.

3. I thank myself for making a continuous effort to eat healthy and drink milk.

4. I thank myself for being frugal and not buying things just because they are on sale or pretty.

5. I thank myself for having a routine and not getting bored of it all the time.

6. I thank myself for enjoying the Kung Fu Panda! Have you seen that animation movie series? please do!

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random thoughts

So they say Puerto Rico has declared bankruptcy.

Hmm…. I understand individuals but a state/country? No idea how that would be feeling for its residents. I am selfishly grateful for one thing – I had looked for jobs at Puerto Rico over a decade or two, and if I had found one, I would have moved there. Now I realize that I am in a much better place – this province did not declare a bankruptcy. At least, not yet…Until then I will keep working, soothing my anxiety over losing my job/pension, looking for alternative income resources or jobs, and saving as much as I can.

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I wore one of the thrifted blouses today and I felt lucky again; I have got that beauty for such an affordable price. I plan to go to thrift stores again this Saturday. I thought today; would I ever buy new blouses or shirts (these are the primary clothes I am okay for buying at thrift stores) from other stores? I have a shirt that I have hardly worn that I bought for over 50 bucks 4-5 years ago. What a waste…. I do not think I would do that again, as long as my experience with the thrift stores continues to be positive. There is something very satisfying and exciting about finding a beautiful blouse or item at a low cost, feeling lucky about this, and having savings building up for my future 🙂

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I happen to get my weekly shopping done today. I could not help and bought more stuff than I would usually consume. The difference this week is that I will start bringing food to office…. I so far consumed usually canned foods and fruits, but this had to change; I do not think canned food is very healthy. Not 5 days a week. So I have been meaning to transition into bringing in real food everyday. 

This, I suspect, will be a challenge for me. My primary concern is that I may forget to pick up the food in the morning, or get too lazy to even bother preparing food everyday….. One strategy will be to bring a week’s worth of food on Mondays – we have fridge on the floor so it should not be a problem to store them. Since I plan to walk in the mornings, this also means carrying them in my back pack on Mondays… I need a new habit, see? I gotta say that I am pretty sure this will be a struggle for some time, but we will see how it will go. The worst thing I will do is to eat nuts and trail mix at the office, in addition to fruit. At least they are easy to carry and always tasty.

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Tomorrow is Friday. This week has passed quite fast. This weekend I plan to continue fixing my yard, shop at thrift stores, clean my house, and walk to a park or something. I may as well start reading a book, who knows? It has been sometime that I read a book, so this may be actually a great activity to do. 

These are what crossed my mind tonite, friends. Hope you are having a great night and have wonderful plans for the coming weekend 🙂

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joy journal – April 1, 2017

There I am – writing to my joy journal again today 🙂 

It is because in the last one hour or so, I started to feel a lot better. I was reading one of my self-help books that opened my eyes again. The message is that “the more you dwell in negative experiences, thoughts, and emotions, the more they are pronounced in your life.”

How true.

I knew it. Yet, I needed to be reminded it. 

The opposite is also true – the more we dwell in positive experiences, thoughts, and emotions, the more they are pronounced in our lives. I realized that while I am scared of being fired, I actually have no reason to be fired – I am productive, creative, and very well contributing to all aspects of my organization, as expected from me. So why do I have this negative self-suspicion about my own worth? I am worth it; I deserve this job as much as anyone else, even sometimes more than many. I should start pushing away my inner critique and other poisonous people around me.

Very well.

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1. I am grateful that I have not given away the book that I am reading when I decluttered my books last year 🙂  This is a book that I bought in 2015 and it seems timeless and very beneficial for me. Thank you whoever wrote, published, distributed, and sold it.

2. I am grateful for waking up early this morning, around 7.45 am. Quite early and that means the day is long and opportunities are limitless 🙂

3. I am grateful for the coffee I brew at home and enjoying it. I like my morning routines – coffee, browsing the news, and checking the emails before I start doing more serious work. Lovely routine 🙂

4. I am grateful for cleaning my home and doing the laundry. This is my Saturday routine and it works well with me. I am lucky that cleaning my home is usually very easy and does not take much time or effort.

5. I am grateful for speaking with my mom and sister and having lots of laughter. I told them what one of my co-workers said to me this week. I was having a stressful and defensive conversation about something that negatively affected both of us and my co-worker said ” life is so big“. He did not continue but when I heard what he said, I knew how I interpreted it “life is so big and this is such a small issue. Like a little point in the entire universe“. What a beautiful thing to say!  Visualizing this little point in a big circle puts everything in a realistic context for me and many little issues lose their importance right away (do you want to give it a try? – see below).

 

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look at this beautiful upbeat life symbolized by the circle and the small “issue” symbolized with the dot; is it really worth focusing on it so much while there are so many other “points” in life? What is this dot’s worth really when compared to the whole life?

6. I am grateful for taking the bus and going to a mall. I broke the frame of my eye glasses and luckily could find the same frame. All I need to do is now to have the glasses fit in a store.

7. I am grateful for buying canned fish (that I snack at the office), personal care products, and canola oil from a store today.

8. I am grateful for preparing two dough today; one sourdough and one commercial yeast dough. Tomorrow I plan to bake 4 mid-size loaves; two for myself (the sourdough) and two plain bread; one for my neighbor and one for a colleague of mine. It was too much trying to deal with both of the dough at the same time, but both are looking very strong and it will be exciting to see them in the morning all fluffy and risen 🙂

9. I am grateful for the healthy meals I have had today; I did not eat for breakfast, but I have had beans and rice for lunch and quinoa salad with greens and turnips in the evening. The fact that I eat a variety of food that are usually prepared in a healthy way (e.g. not fried or so) should be credited for. I should credit and appreciate myself for these healthy choices.

10. I am grateful for consuming up quinoa! My goodness, I am not buying it again. Such a tasteless and expensive grain. Good bye! 🙂

11. I am grateful for trying to fix a collar that I messed up a while ago. Basically I wanted to see whether a binding tape could make it better and it looks like it is not a bad idea. I just need to make sure to stretch it a little bit so that the collar will hold itself well. This is a progress – there is hope, my friends! I will make it! One day! 🙂

12. I am grateful for having lots of smiles on my face this evening 🙂

13. I am grateful for feeling a lot better today; very positive, and content. Even a little bit silly but yes, I am feeling good and this feels fantastic. Feeling good is a birthright – even though I am guilty of being a perfectionist and a worrying type of person, and thus, usually not feeling good. This being said, it does not mean that I do not enjoy and appreciate it when I feel great. This evening is such an evening. After feeling down for a long time, and dealing with one issue after the other since new year, I take this opportunity to breathe well and put a smile on my face. Till next time.

14. I am grateful for having the night to myself and tomorrow. Tomorrow my plan is to get up early again and walk to a store to get milk and eggs. Then I will bake my breads and a cauliflower dish. I also would like to try another neck line to improve my skills. Yes – sounds like a good Sunday 🙂

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I appreciate myself for the followings today:

  1. I appreciate myself for being healthy
  2. I appreciate myself for having books and benefiting from them
  3. I appreciate myself for re-realizing my worth and the great things about myself
  4. I appreciate myself for taking excellent steps to ensure that I eat nutritious and healthy food
  5. I appreciate myself for not having expensive hobbies or wants
  6. I appreciate myself for constantly expanding my understanding about myself and life
  7. I appreciate myself for smiling 
  8. I appreciate myself for not making unnecessary expenses today
  9. I appreciate myself for being lighter today than yesterday (by one pound)
  10. I appreciate myself for laughing together with my family today

joy journal – May 25, 2015

1. Another beautiful, warm spring day that fills me with energy, optimism, and love. Yes, love. Love for the season, for the sun, for the awakening of the nature, for the renewal, and for the hope all these positive changes bring. I made a mental note today that in the coming years’ March and April, I will remind myself how the Spring feels in May. The things I can do better (e.g. walk more), the things I can do differently (e.g. spending time with nature).

2. I am grateful for taking the bus in the morning – I feel like accomplishing something huge! I even printed out the bus schedule to help myself. I never complained about taking the bus so far – when I can do it I love it.

3. I am grateful for working lightly and not being stressful at all. I enjoy working my mind better than not though. So maybe I can find some problems/questions to work on. Mental exercise is awesome 🙂

4. I am grateful for leaving my office early and walking a little bit longer than usual. I love looking at the houses along the way and thinking “would I buy this house?”. Sometime the answer is yes. I like houses with bay windows and in good conditions (who would not?). I also noticed that I do not prefer houses more than two storeys and without a yard. View is also important 🙂

5. I am grateful for getting an email from a well-respected leader in our field today – she would like to visit our department and get to know our work and interests a little bit better. This is a great opportunity and I am truly honoured by her contact. Would like to do my best to form a great work relationship with her.

6. Oh by the way, I am extra grateful for my colleague who did not respond to the request of the person in (5) above, which prompter her to contact me instead. Am I not lucky that I have this chance of communicating with her? yes, I am. Certainly, somebody’s lack of action is somebody else’s good luck. Thanks a lot 🙂

7. Additionally, I am grateful for my hard work as I had emailed a proposal to a group this morning, which also includes the person in (5) above. I think the timing could not be better 🙂

8. I am grateful for the healthy food I have had today. I ate bread but the rest was all healthy food.

9. I am grateful for watching TV; I am watching a movie I kind of remember, yet I have no recollection of neither the story nor the characters 🙂

10. I am grateful for combing my hair this morning. I do not usually do that for some reason, but now that it is getting long, it is getting all tangled. I better comb it after washing.

11. I am grateful for deciding to take a better care of my skin. I use a wash clothe today to exfoliate and moisturise my face. I hope to remember to put my night cream before going to the bed. I should also start putting sunscreen on my face before I leave the house.

12. I am grateful for loving my flossers. I have been struggling to floss for many years. Right after my semi-annual dental visits, I would continue for some time but after that it would drift from my mind. The one that worked with me was a tri-liner flosser (not the string). It did the wonders with me. it is interesting how long it may take sometime to find out the best working solution for our quests… Trial of new options is a must.

13. I am grateful for keeping up with some of the challenges I assigned to myself a while ago: I took the bus; walked; drank two cups of great smelling and tasting herbal tea; looked out of the window and the yard to enjoy my surroundings; ate mostly healthy food; did not make unconscious spendings; and listened to the music at the office 🙂

14. I am grateful for being grateful, noticing my joyful moments,  doing activities that make me feel accomplishing my goals, and writing them to my joy journal.

have a great night everybody 🙂

random thoughts (on my spending habits)

I would like to reduce my spending and I know I can up to 8-10K per annum; I have two major expenses that I am aware of and have been struggling to switch to better, more affordable alternatives.

One of these expenses is the cab I take every morning from home to office. I did well last week taking the bus, but not this week. The reasons? I feel overwhelmed by all the issues in my life, small or not, and I would like to pamper myself. An additional one is the relatively low levels of energy in the mornings. And also, I do not like to wait for the bus, so the timing of waking up is really critical for me.

I know that I feel a lot better when I take the bus. There is nothing much I can do for my  energy levels. I can use the extra time to walk (rather than to wait) a couple of bus stops prior to taking the bus. But how do I pass the need to pamper myself?

The second expense I can cut is related to healthy life style. Eating better food for example. Or having breakfast during the week days. Not eating bagels at the weekends. Not eating out. Almost all of them are again related to my need to feel good and pamper myself.

Yesterday I felt like drastic changes may be more effective than the “transitional ones”. Once and for all, I can remove all these from my life and start a new chapter. I may pamper myself by other means; walking and exercise always worked with me. Yoga class close to my home, which I had attended for a month in the winter, has been incredibly relaxing and pampering (the only thing is the monthly fee, which is around $100). I can keep myself busy for a while while I adjust to the new life-style. Most importantly though I need to convince my mind that pampering myself (my mind) does not mean that it should be at the expense of my body (e.g. unhealthy food).

Yesterday I was frustrated with myself and felt like I could lock myself in the house and mentally work on this last point. It ends in my mind and maybe I will start brain-washing myself right now.

Hope that will work.

joy journal – may 11, 2015

1. Not a bad day at all! I am very grateful for feeling better today compared to yesterday.

2. I am grateful for finally having had it, noticing I made myself unhappy by delaying tasks and plans, and challenging myself to take action. I know myself; I may not continue as I so far remained undetermined to take strong steps toward my wishes. But I also know that if I am pissed off enough, if my issues/tasks lagged too much and started to bother me, I can take a very strong stand. I hope that time arrived.

3. I am grateful for going to bed relatively early and waking up at the exact time I wanted to get up; 8.15 am. Why is this time important? Because if I get up at that time, I can catch the 8.40 bus and arrive the office around 8.50 am. Perfect timing!

4. I am grateful I took the bus this morning, as part of a challenge I invited myself into. I needed to talk myself into it, I was still resistant, but I could make it. One thing is critical for me to take the cab – to get up exactly at 8.15 – 8.20 am. Anything later or earlier than that prompts me to take the cab.

5. I am grateful for enjoying the bus trip – it takes 10 min to reach my office so it is fast. Additionally, I get to see a different route.

6. I am grateful for drinking three different kinds of tea at the office; at noon and afternoon. Tea makes me feel good.

7. I am grateful for taking care of three tasks that I have been delaying for some time. When they were done it was only 10 am – I felt like I accomplished a lot and also have a lot of time to start dealing with other work.

8. I am grateful for typing the step-by-step tasks that I need to take care of at work. Printed them out and placed on my desk. As I take care of them, I highlight them. Visually I am capable of seeing them being taken care of, which generates a sense of satisfaction and confidence. It actually makes me happy 🙂

9. I am grateful for eating sensible today. No breakfast as usual, a protein snack at lunch, and then a hearty salad and bread at the dinner. Bread could be limited, but that is okay 🙂

10. I am grateful for doing grocery shopping today. I have not done this in the last 10-12 days. I did a conscious shopping – only bought what I would need in the coming few days and purchased in relatively smaller amounts. I am trying to not waste grocery and decided to buy in small amounts but frequently.

11. I am grateful for buying apples today. time to time I love eating apples, but not all the time. I also love golden delicious or mcintosh apples most. Good to have found them today.

12. I am grateful for walking from office to home. It takes around 25-30 min. Supposed to be very good for my health. Also I do not need to wait for the bus. Extra grateful 🙂

13. I am grateful for following some blogs about budgeting and saving. I can be a great saver – I have been for some time. I am inspired back to reducing my expenses by reading others’ opinion and tips. I am very happy with that. Time to start also following blogs on healthy eating and exercise, though 🙂

14. I am grateful for working really well today – the satisfaction coming out of is awesome.

15. I am grateful for being grateful.

Have a great night everybody!

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