random thoughts

Exhaustion and fried nerves – I know them very well.

I am very agitated nowadays. I know it from my reactions and how unwell I feel. This too will pass. When, however, I do not know.

Good news is that the weekend is here. I will make it a weekend of self-care and enjoyment. This means not working and not checking the emails – I hope I can achieve this.

Today our administrative staff suggested that I should reduce my work load and care about myself. How true. How do I do this?

Logically I know that if I feel better and energized, and have a clear mind, I can be more effective. Dragging my feet and combing heavily around my mind’s clouds to focus on work and do many things prior to their deadline is not helping my work or personal wellness. It actually drains me even further. I am at a point that I must take that break.

I do not know what I would do this weekend, but I will try to stay away from the computer and work-related thoughts. I want to collect myself and maybe cook healthy meals and think about new things. Maybe I will write a poem, a short story, or start reading about something new. Whatever it is gonna be, I want to remind myself that this is a break, a mini-vacation, and I deserve and in fact need it to keep going.

joy journal – September 10, 2017

It has been a long time that I wrote in this journal. I miss it almost everyday but it is hard to find time to put the words out. Today I am taking my time as I made a conscious choice of being grateful and, as a result feeling good.

Not all days and moments are joyful, or without any problem or hurt that bothers us. But we/I could find some time to remember the things, event, experiences, and people that makes our lives better, safer, and enjoyable. This journal has served me well in this sense, I hope you too will start your own and benefit from it at least as much as I do.

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1. I am grateful for sleeping well and getting up at around 9 am. It was not too early or too late. Just right.

2. I am grateful for my morning coffee which was just right. Every once a while I get the temperature right and today was one of those times. With a little bit of sugar, it was the most enjoyable drink I have had in the last while 🙂

3. I am grateful for not getting crazy over the rain. I was planning to shop today but it rained whole day and made my plan a future plan. I do not need anything urgent, but shopping would be very therapeutic and help me with feeling good and excited. Ah, shopping…. 🙂

4. I am grateful for baking a sourdough loaf today. I run out of the bread in my freezer and I was so craving for fresh bread 🙂 

5. I am grateful for speaking with my family today and for their well being, health, and happiness.

6. I am grateful for working today. I worked around 3 hours reviewing a report and drafting a report about it. I still have work to do on it, but I started and this is good. I must finish my report in two weeks and I have ample time now that I progressed quite a bit today.

7. I am grateful for being assertive with a dominant and bossy collaborator of mine. He changes things or involves more people in without consulting me on matters directly related to me. I swallowed a few incident like that in the last one month and today he did it again and I said it is time that we talked. I asked him to call me, which he did and we talked. He admits that I am a control freak (who did not know this?) and he was too negligent of others’ opinions and priorities. We talked like two mature individuals with understanding and without yelling or getting mean, which was nice. I am not naive enough to think that this talk has solved the problem for ever; no, as long as I work with him, we will come to the same point again and again. But I am happy that I talked without fearing negative consequences (I actually need him for a project of mine), and formed a more respectful bond between us. This is good enough for now and we can always talk in the future should it be required.

8. I m grateful for the kale meal I have cooked yesterday. At one point in the afternoon I took a supplement that upset my stomach. I ate the meal and it was okay after that. Should I not have the meal ready, I think I would suffer longer while trying to cook something new. Long live kale! 🙂

9. I am grateful for my windows being open and having fresh air in. I love this about summer and fall. One of my treasured activities at home. I feel so lucky 🙂

10. I am grateful for listening to a relaxing music that is great for my fried nerves…. Many years ago I used to try to mediate listening to this kind of music. Seeing the bigger picture in life and feeling safe and well in it in the moment are priceless. I should try sitting meditation someday again, but honestly it is the most boring thing for me (I know many people can do it – hats off!!).

11. I am grateful for stepping out for a short time and purchasing yogurt. I love yogurt!! I can eat an entire tub on a single day; it is creamy and healthy. I should make better choices and opt for low fat variety next time. My doctor informed me that my bad cholesterol is a little bit high. I am still at low risk group, but it was consistently increasing in the last year, so I must be careful with it.

12. I am grateful for realizing my needs and short-comings. I  just had a birthday in the last few weeks. Between the trip to Rome and the busy and stressful work schedule, I could not reflect on my new age except in a few short moments….. I have been looking forward to a quiet time to actually reflect and figure out how I feel about my age and aging, what changes I must introduce in my life, and how content I was with everything else. But this is not happening yet, and I feel annoyed by this… I know that I am changing as a middle aged individual. I know my dreams and plans are changing. I know my days are getting shorter and shorter and so are the days of my loved ones. My chronic disease and death probability is also increasing with each passing moment. These demand significant changes in my attitude, my life-style, and the way I look at life and my priorities. I know my health and my family’s health are the most important thing, but ask me how I contribute to either of this and the answer will be very lame. I am so focused on turning work around and dealing with antsy bitsy issues that I cannot find time to think big or be positive. What a shame…. I am rationally aware of what I must do, yet still cannot or do not take the steps to better my life and spend more time with and cherish my family…. It takes one step to start this journey… I wish that I can start it right now… I may or may not, but at least I am aware of my need and wish and who knows, maybe I will take that step sometime soon.

13. I am grateful for having the day to myself. I plan to watch TV after this and enjoy my time.

14. I am grateful for the cat of my neighbour’s who spends time in my yard a lot. It is a beautiful black and young female cat that keeps hunting and surveilling the yard for pests and moth. She killed a little rat a couple of weeks ago in my yard, which was a scary sight at first. But I am so grateful for this mouser that keeps my yard free of pests. She and I do not interact much except that we both look at each other whenever both of us exist in the yard at the same time. I respect her presence and she respects mine. We are a good team 🙂

15. I am grateful for the food in my fridge and pantry; all the clothes, shoes, furniture, and everything else in my home. They make my life easy and comfortable. 

16. I am grateful for making a conscious effort to have a healthier lifestyle as of today. The last 2 months have been crazy stressful and I lacked the time, energy, and willpower to pay attention to my own health and well being. I almost left home today for a convenience store trip to get junk food, but stopped at the last minute and I am very happy about this.

17. I am grateful for being grateful and finding time to note these here today 🙂

joy journal – May 15, 2017

1. I had a pleasant night and an easy morning, for which I am grateful. I decided last week or so that it feels great to notice and note when I have a comfy and relaxing evening & night at home. The same holds true for the easy morning. Easy mornings are those when I get up when I want to get up and those that I do not stress myself by having negative thoughts going in my mind.

2. I m grateful for the bright day outside and the sunlight that make me feel energetic, optimistic, and hopeful! Spring indeed is awesome, my friends. One of the best remedy for feeling down and the seasonal effective disorder (SAD) that I probably have.

3. I am grateful for walking to office this morning. I do not notice anymore that I am walking. I just walk and often am thoughtful while walking. This may not be the best practice, but at least I am not counting the steps or the distance and wonder when i will reach the office. I just do it, it is relaxing, and becoming a second nature for my mornings 🙂 When I think about 2-3 years ago how lethargic and tired I was and all I could do was to take the cab to the office, I feel nothing but lucky, excited, proud, and happy for being capable of walking in the mornings 🙂

4. I am grateful for walking with my new assistant effectively. She just joined my unit but is very positive and intelligent person, so I am really excited to be training and working with her.

5. I am grateful for my mid-morning walk. I just put on my boots, my toque, and my jacket and walked out in the forest next to our building. The air is fresher and cooler, and it is so peaceful over there. I had felt very optimistic when I had done this last time, and this time was no exception. I am happy that regardless of the issues at work, I still seem to like my life and sometimes take my mind away from the issues and focus on the present and enjoy what it may present to me. 

6. I am grateful for inviting a couple of my friends for a dinner this weekend. We have the long weekend this week (Victoria day) in Canada. I hope to cook some great dishes and host my friends with confidence 🙂

7. I am grateful for eating healthy today; I have eaten eggs in the morning, fruits (apple, orange), chicken, and raw veggies/salad in the rest of the day. It feels great to eat healthy food, even though my scale this morning showed that I had gained weight this weekend 🙂 It must be the carbs and desserts I had. Argh! 🙂

8. I am grateful for my kefir grains 🙂 I had fed them yesterday with 1% milk and I was not sure whether they would strive in it. The majority of the sites on the net mention that the higher the fat content of the milk is, denser the kefir gets. I had some density this afternoon, which was good to see. However, not sure whether I should have expected more, so I will monitor this for a week or so and if it does get worse, maybe I will try the 2% milk.

9. I am grateful for feeling lucky for having been given the kefir grains 🙂 I believe that they are healthy and by caring for them and drinking them in the evenings, I am doing something great for my body. This is a very positive feeling. Many years ago when I was in Toronto, I was big on healthy life-style; each healthy food I purchased, every tea I drank, every walking and cardio exercise I did would make me feel great (and approving) about myself 🙂 Sometimes I miss those times; like checking the health and organic stores; finding those really rare but healthy products, and being grateful for being able to afford them… 🙂

10. I am grateful for being healthy and free of acute or chronic diseases.

11. I am grateful for taking the stairs (2 stories) up today 🙂

12. I am grateful for having the evening and the night to myself and my ability and opportunity to relax.

13. I am grateful for today being a #noexpense day.

14. I am grateful for my hand creams that keep my hands moisturized and give me healthy-looking skin.

15. I am grateful for flossing and loving my floss!!

16. I am grateful for being grateful and taking my time to note this here today.

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What am I thanking myself for today?

  1. I like the fact that I make an effort to be healthy by walking and eating better
  2. I like the fact that I like to work and find satisfaction in it
  3. I like the fact that I have the time, interest, and patience to have fermented food (i.e. sourdough bread) and drink (i.e. kefir) at home
  4. I like the fact that I enjoy walking in nature
  5. I like the fact that I dream and my dreams are helping me to solve problems, even though sometime they are annoying or scary

exhaustion and taking time to recuperate

Argh.. I am feeling tired. It has been a roller coaster run at work in the last few weeks and I have started to feel its effects.

Things are moving and going well albeit they exhausted me. I have 2 weeks till my vacation, which gives me the extra kick to take care of tasks and projects. Along the way I did not eat well so my body is feeling the strain. This afternoon I have decided to take a break from long hours of work and thoughts and stress that accumulate as a result of it. This decision is healthy and I am pleased I came up with it 🙂 The first thing I have done this afternoon was to eat well 🙂

I will not work or think about work tonite. Tomorrow, with a refreshed mind I hope to feel better and focus on stuff more easily – that should help with the performance and progress.

Have a great day everybody! 🙂

today’s bits

I have pulled a muscle at my lower back and I have been having extraordinary feelings/experiences about this.

First of all, for the first time I found it very difficult, almost impossible, to get out of bed and go down to the the first floor to get my pain medication. This was yesterday and it was scary. I for the first time thought about maybe I would have to stay in my bedroom for ever or something like that…..Living alone brings this kind of thoughts I am afraid.

Well, after 20 min of struggle, with lots of pain, trial and error to find the right angle of movement without locking my back or increasing the pain, I finally made it to the 1st floor and my pain medications. It helps and limits the pain – which is useful in terms of mobility (I am very grateful).

Then come the hard decision of what to do: take the cab or walk to the emergency?

I decided to go to emergency because this was nothing like I knew, even though I have had lower back problems/pulled muscles in the past. I decided I did not have to go thru the pain all by myself. Seeing that I was not able to kneel or sit, I decided to walk. Luckily the hospital is 10 min away from here.

I could walk up, changed my pajamas and put on my boots, walked to the hospital, waited like 30 min, cared by a lovely doctor, got my shot for pain and prescription, and walked back to pharmacy and home. The medication consists of painkiller and a muscle relaxant. I was also recommended to  follow up with my doctor; there may be some nerve problems I was told. Arghh..

I am literally wishing to go to office while I am here at home. I am not supposed to go to work for the rest of the week, but I am telling you; this is boring. Yes, I still work on my computer (which is going very well by the way) and coordinate with my team members through emails, but I am seriously bored. I just wished (what a twisted wish that is, by the way) that this has happened in December, when I was very tired – I would appreciate being at home then. After the refreshing holidays, all I want now is to go to office and work for long hours….

Anyways, I should not be complaining about these now. My back is better, walking and light stretching helps, sitting is not a big problem, but lying on the couch or bed are scary (as I may not be able to get up again if my back feels like it); so here I am; sitting on a chair for the entire day 🙂

I missed sitting on my couch, snugging up with my blanket, and surfing on the net or watching TV. But again, I should not be complaining.

The funny thing is that the yoga classes were going so well, so relaxing. I sure was feeling relaxation on my lower back, though on monday class, I had thought my upper body (shoulders) needed quite a stretch; they were very tight. I had thought “while one region of my body relaxes, the other one tightens up – I should not have made the assumption that a week’s full of yoga classes would solve all my problems”. I also happen to have some realizations during each session – that day I have had “connecting with my body” in my mind.

I was right 🙂

The same night, I pulled the muscle at my back while picking up something from the floor. Maybe the lesson I should see was to have a healthy life style and good posture no matter how much yoga stretching classes I attend; one thing cannot be the magic solution to everything. I am thankful that my body has showed me that with my recent back problem… I will support my back while at home; especially while sitting on the couch. Since it is soft, sitting long hours on the couch actually is not good for my spine… gotta fix that. I cannot make it worse than what it already is.

Ah… Life is funny 🙂

 

Despite all the negativities, I am grateful for realizing these lessons,  being able to move around, having painkillers at home, and the hospital and pharmacy being so closed to my home. I am also thankful to the doctor who cared for me and the nurse who gave me the shot, saying she knew how painful that must be… Empathy is an awesome thing and nurses for sure rock!

 

random thoughts

It a beautiful crispy and sunny fall day again 🙂

The beauty around the weekends (or no work day) is the freedom that it gives in terms of how you would like to spend your day, the absence of rush of the work or work environment, and the possibility of having nice conversations and get-togethers with friends and family.

I also like the feeling of “taking care of myself” feeling – whether it is shopping for grocery, cooking a nice meal, cleaning my house, or handling other stuff related to our daily life.

Taking care of ourselves is a must and although I often times forget this, especially when I work, I love doing the activities that remind me that I am on track.

I used to have a great relationship with food, always looking for diversity and nutrition. It was a pleasure going to the stores and finding excellent veggies, fruits, and others. I would find myself often grateful for everything that is available to me and for being able to afford them. I am still hugely grateful for these, but something is missing really…

Over the years, my priority changed from taking care of myself to taking care of work. It is a mistake if you ask me. Those who follow my blog knows that I love my job; it is interesting, keeping me engaged and being productive, the work I do I believe benefit many people and humanity as a whole. The satisfaction coming out of it is incredible and I am very grateful for having this work-line.

I have been feeling, rightfully, though it is now time to switch to “taking care of myself” mode. I have been struggling with this for some time (my healthy life-style journal and breaking the routine page is a good example) but I keep going. Not everything is perfect but I am putting a continuous effort. I am determined to do better for myself and although I lack better and newer ideas, I believe I will do better over time.

They say it is not the end point but the journey that matters, that is valuable. Perhaps that is true in my case. I have seen quite positive changes with my other efforts (conscious spending plan is an excellent example) – I have more or less functional plan that excites me and yields positive and immediately observable outcomes. I need to see over years how it goes and how it helps me to handle financial problems and enables me to retire comfortably. I am grateful for doing this so far and the hope and confidence it gives me now.

Of course, I would like to see the same progress I have with my conscious spending plan with the healthy life style plan. I have been thinking; I am not sure what the reasons behind me not losing weight as I used to, but age is one factor. And of course I should not forget the effect of the trips and my mentality that promotes unlimited eating freedom during the trips (I seem to have gained 8 pounds back in a week). I wonder why I can do so well with the budgeting but not better life style?

Perhaps it is the fact that with budgeting I can see a progress in my finances in a week, while with the weight loss, it is kind of tricky. I remember when I had walk on to the scale a couple of weeks ago and seeing an 8 pound difference and how it had made me feel accomplished and more motivated to keep doing…..

Going back to the idea of “not the end points but the journey matters“, I believe that what I am going thru with my healthy life style plan should be a teacher for me, I should be noticing things about myself and my life as a whole. Perhaps I am aiming for the wrong things (i.e. weight loss) than the beauty of having a healthy life, with great food, exercise, and stretching. Perhaps I am hard on myself and put the weight loss as an indicator of the success of my plan…..

Considering that is possibly the reason (I have implemented many good things as part of this plan, such as walking more, especially in the morning, started stretching, eating whole and healthier food, cutting out bread and carbs from my diet, and supplementing my diet with calcium and vitamin D and milk, both of which are great help for my bone health) is in fact an eye opener.

Perhaps what I should focus on is all the good things I have done for my body and physical health, rather than the mere weight loss.

have a great weekend everyone 🙂

healthy life-style journal – Sept 7, 2015

Yesterday dinner: I did not eat the salad I had planned yesterday; I rather had one tomato, 5 red radish, and 3 slices of whole wheat bread in lieu of salad; I felt not like preparing salad.

Yesterday late-night snack: 1 apple, yogurt

Today – breakfast: 1 hard-boiled egg, coffee with brown sugar. Since no cafe is open today (labor day), I brewed my own coffee and had it with no cream.

Lunch: Lazy cauliflower meal (recipe can be found here) 🙂  I completely made it up and I am glad I have, as it turned out to be an awesome meal. Very surprising as cauliflower has never been among my favorite veggies. Anyways, I also had yogurt at lunch. Additionally, I  craved for garlic and ate 4 big cloves together with the meal. Yum. Seriously. If eaten with meal, it does not upset my stomach and while its smell always increases my appetite, considering its health benefits, it was well worth it 🙂

Late-afternoon snack: Left-over lazy cauliflower meal

Dinner: I am planning a large green salad with tuna, spices, and olive oil (modified this a little bit while preparing it; added white onion, celery sticks, a can of corn kernel, and 1/2 lemon juice. It turned out to be quite hearty and stuffy).

Exercise: None.

Eye care: I really need to prevent straining my eyes by wearing the reading glasses for long times. Today while I continued to read and write, I hardly used my reading glasses. Trying to give my eyes a break from the glasses. Hope to massage them at night with tea bags.

procrastination and venting

Have you ever experienced that you are not taking care of the stuff that you must and have self-destructive feelings as a result?

I am. As a matter of fact, it is a lot nowadays.

I have work-related, house-related, and personal healthy life-style related things to do; the majority of these have been on my to-do list for sometime. As such, the fact that I have not taken care of them makes me feel incapacitated and lazy. I do not like this feeling.

For work-related things: I am way behind some of them, which is really annoying. There were times that I took it light and did not work long-hours with a sharp focus. Then I went on vacation. Then I came back and the weather and the comfort of the home were so nice that I left the office early (though I kept doing light work at home). And eventually, now I am feeling very heavily the weight of the unfinished tasks. I have done a good job today at the cafe and then later at home, but still feeling not adequate… The only remedy is to have a hard-look at the items in my list and start committing my time and energy to them.

For house-related things: I have started some of them, but did not finish them all yet; caulking around the bathroom tubs, re-painting the window trims, staining the patches that lifted up on the front stairs and the back deck are the main ones. What am I waiting for? I do not know. To my credit, I have finished caulking around the windows and between the windows and the siding. Yet, it is not enough… And the weather will turn soon, start raining and all – I must complete these in a couple of weeks.

Also decluttering the house activity: I have done quite a bit; yet the most important one, the living room, has remained. It is the hardest as I have the most paperwork and clutter in this area. Again, what am I waiting for? (I am scared to start it, see; I know it will take me maybe a day or so to do a through job; I do not like seeing piles of stuff sorted out here and there. What is my solution??).

And for the healthy-life style related ones; implementing an eating healthy strategy is still a challenge. I did not go to office today and rather started working at the cafe. And guess what I have had for the breakfast? Muffin.. Who am I kidding? How am I going to lose weight and also nourish my body while I continue to eat bagels, muffins, and bread rather than whole meals? Why can I not cook meals for myself and refrain from those that I know are not good for me?

How about my walking and more exercise aim? I have not even walked today (only to and from a cafe 5 min away from my house). Why can I not work with the dumbbells at home, or do yoga or aerobic exercise following videos on youtube?

I think there is a little child inside me that prefers the comfort, easiness, and pleasure of not stretching myself to do these…. Even though I know that I must and I can. So who will win?

I had predicted earlier that that I would vent about my lack of discipline or dedication to the changes I would like to make… It is not something new, a consistent struggle, if you will. I am getting tired of this though (which is always a good sign – that means I will start taking steps).

Let’s see how this stage will go.

Once when I had vented here about my performance related to another change that I wanted to implement in my life, some of you had commented saying that I should be kind to myself and take it easy. I am kind to myself, but also have a tendency to choose the comfort over taking necessary items. So taking easy is out of equation – I have been taking it “easy” for quite some time.

I think my main challenge right now is to win over this internal fight, gather my strength, convince myself, and have a plan to follow. I will first start with the list of things I have done so far; at least they will give me a sense of accomplishment. Sometimes I find this as a necessary step to realize that I am already in the middle of the road and I can just keep going, pushing forward. Then, I will have an itemized plan for every single tasks in my to-do-list.

walking is a joy!

Walking is the best exercise that I can integrate into my life; it is free, it has no time limit, it does not require gym membership or special clothes, it is relatively safe, and very enjoyable if you can also take time to look around, especially in these beautiful Spring days.

I was an avid walker, until I moved to my current city. Day or night whenever I felt like bored or down, I walked. I walked for hours, sometime more than once a day. I walked to the work, I walked to the shopping centres, and I walked to everywhere I can think about. That is the nice thing about living in downtown, which makes it safe and also practical during winter (snow clearance is usually a lot better).

At my current city, the situation is a little bit different. Walking during winter is usually is not fun but I try; during the winter months, I am keen about walking in the afternoons, rain, snow, or shine from work to home. Unless it gets icy or if there is a storm outside. This year I have done it really well and I am very pleased with myself. It is not easy to walk whenever I would like to though due to the ice and snow banks that stay on the ground/street for quite sometime. A nice pair of water and skid-resistant boots made my life easy during the winter.

But I must says it is the Spring that brings the joy of walking. The heavy winter coats are gone, it is warm and dry, and there is so many nice houses, yards, and gardens to see along the way. The energy is amazing and makes me want to walk more. I would like to walk in the afternoons and the weekends as much as I can. There are I am sure nice paths, nice streets that I can explore to make this an unboring activity- walking along the same way and seeing the same things over and over again is not very interesting to me. So, let’s start exploring. Maybe I can also take my camera with me to make it a more interesting experience.

joy journal – April 26, 2015

I am literally pushing myself to write this journal today. While writing I am sure I will feel better remembering things that I am grateful for – that is my greatest motivation to write now.

1. I am grateful for going through ups and downs, positive and negative in life, which so far all are deal-able things. It does not mean that I am having a great time; I feel like acknowledging things helps with reducing their effect and seeing them within the larger picture helps me to downgrade their importance and thus their effects.

2. I am grateful for having breakfast this morning. Not necessarily enjoyed it as I was not hungry, but that is okay.

3. I am grateful for the throws one of my friends gave me a while ago. I use them to cover the couch while I am sitting on it. They help it from being getting dirty as I am known to have ink stains all around where I am 🙂 At first I did not like them, but now I can see how useful they are.

4. I am grateful for its being Sunday and still afternoon. I am seeing today as a great opportunity to feel my emotions, rather than suppressing them. It is not pleasant but I think healthy.

5. I am grateful for tomorrow being a work day, which will help me to start dealing and moving with the work-related issues. I hope to get positive progress.

6. I am grateful for my TV and cable. I am watching a movie; the sound track for a few seconds made me felt good.

7. I am grateful for all the food and clothes I have, my home, my furniture and all I can get for myself to provide myself with a comfortable life.

8. I am grateful for my job that keeps my mind busy and helps me with my life.

9. I am grateful for family and friends who support me, listen to me, make me laugh, and enable me to share.

10. I am grateful for the grey day that makes me feel like I am having a long evening and night, which are the most peaceful times of the day for me.

11. I am grateful for chatting with one of my colleagues at the breakfast cafe in the morning. What a nice feeling to be around nice and positive persons.

12. I am grateful for watering my plants yesterday. I sometimes forget to do this. The effect of water is immediately observable. I like plants; one of my plants has been with me for 5-6 years. Quite a resilient plant that does not require much of a care but still keeps green and leafy through winter and summer.

13. I am grateful for being lazy today; not doing much other than watching TV, occasionally writing and reading.

14. I am grateful for getting increasingly aware of the life-style changes that I need to make. I cannot say that I have taken firm steps to do the changes, but they keep showing up on my mind and keep bugging me. I wonder when I will make the changes. I kind of feel like when the right time comes, they will happen. But if I keep having my excuses (i.e. lack of time or energy,, stress levels, need to pamper myself), I am not sure whether it will become reality. I can only hope.

15. I am grateful for not being crashed under the weight of my issues.

16. I am grateful that I know I have options to change my life for better. I can start exercise programs, I can shop better and spend time at the kitchen to prepare healthier food, I can cut out unhealthy food from my life and actually save some pennies, I can start walking in the morning to increase my daily exercise, I can take a break during lunch to walk around a near-by pond and park, I can start doing exercise by watching exercise programs at home, I can motivate myself to lose weight… The problem with weight lose is that it is hard to keep off the pounds coming back and different programs seem to work with different individuals. I know exercise helps me to keep it on track (but not necessarily helping me to lose weight but sure helps me to feel good and maybe eat less), so what is the best way? what is the best continuous way to lose weight for myself? Gotta figure that out. Bread comes to my mind first. Leave the bread out and then see.

17. I am grateful for having some left over meal today. I am not feeling like cooking; so the left-over is quite helpful.

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