poetry and love

I am listening to a song from a few decades back. It is beautiful.

A part of the lyric says something like this ” do not let anyone to see you, before I do see you“. 

This kind of words affects me romantically and quite deeply. The pain and fear of losing the loved one, the innocent jealousy, the sincere admission of all of these raw feelings and only for our loved one.

Love is a great thing, my friends.

It literally gave me wings once. Joy. Zest for life. A hint of purpose. A different world. A different life. A different me.

I miss these feelings.

The only thing I could not experience was jealousy.

I have never been jealous of my loved ones. Why is that, I wonder. Was I unafraid of losing them, did I not love them, or did I just not have them at the first place?

Hard for me to know.

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I have forgotten

poem

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I may have forgetten

got busy with work

but pain remains

for not being who I could be

if I were with you

I may have forgetten

got hopeful with future

but my dream remains

hinting how it could be

if I were your girl

I may have forgotten

got down with misery

but my grief has remained

for not being what I could be

if I could be

I would be happy with you

eventually I have forgotten

my heart mended

and mind refreshed

but tears remained

I got cold and void

for not forgivin’

stillborn love – II

poem

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It has been years

I have had a love so young, so innocent

yet, it was stillborn..

you have left me faster than the blood

strange that hate is stronger than love

and love gives birth to hate that easily

why are you still in my thoughts?

no song, no poem is written for you

but all remind me you

I cannot stand any of these

I must be myself without you

yet without you I cannot be

 

 

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heart-break nostalgia

I do not know why but in the last week I have been thinking about my latest heartbreaker quite intensely.

The nights are the worst; why do I experience this? Do I not make myself tired, amused with life, or busy enough?

Nights have always been my favorite time of the day. Quiet, peaceful, relaxing, and all mine…

Not lately.

Lately, he has been in my mind. The bitterness, annoyance, rejection, and pain, all of them, seem to have lifted all of a sudden. I care about him as much as before. I am smitten all over again.

I swear I did not see that coming.

“…I will not walk with you on the same path again

You put traps for those who walk with you..”

today’s bits (and love, heartbreak, music, and lyrics)

It is almost midnight – this might be one of the rare cases of my late-night posts 🙂

I have had a great work day today. There was no people interrupting me, no phones ringing, no snow storms lurking on our heads. I just worked within the relaxing and focused atmosphere of my office till past 5.30 pm.

It was so productive that I did not want to come home – if I was not hungry enough I would as well continue to work at the office.

It has been a while that I have felt that way. As a matter of fact, I have realized more and more lately how un-protective or stressful it has been for me to work at home in the afternoons between the last summer and the new year. By staying in the office till 5 or 6 pm since the beginning of the new year, I feel like the time I need for work is doubled, abundant, and available to me. I am feeling more relaxed, better about my performance, less stressed about time, and more productive as a result.

I love these 🙂

The entire day I worked on a report of a member of my team – one of the delayed tasks of mine. I am close to finishing it, which I expect to happen next week. That is very motivating. With this motivation, I continued to work on another document till 30 min ago – wow! 🙂 It is going well too and I hope to draft and submit my report in a week or so. One more hard work is on the way to completion and I have no feelings but positive ones for spending this Friday night with work 🙂

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On a separate note, I have been stuck at listening to a song lately; I asked my friend, who introduced me to this song a couple of days ago, to help translate the lyrics.

I was right – this song is amazing……. Care to listen?

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“…I will not walk with you on the same path again

You put traps for those who walk with you

I will never touch your skin either

You have your walls standing right before your skin

By hitting these walls

Again and again

I got covered by calluses

and because of tears and crying

I now am covered in mosses…”

……………………………………………………………………………..

 

forgotten

you did good ending this

running and spreading your coldness

frozen I was; frozen

did not cry, did not complain, did not vent

peace it was; only frozen

dreamt about you the other day

woke up trying to remember

forgiving I was; forgetting

did not remember, did not hate, did not cry

forgotten you were; forgotten

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All rights reserved.  © https://lifeasiinterpret.wordpress.com/

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