to hope, or not to hope

This is the 5th week of self-isolation and working mostly from home.

I have been thinking a lot about hope (especially, since the recent rejection of my application to promotion). I think hope is one force that helps us keep going when the conditions are particularly challenging. Whatever we hope for may not happen, but the thought of it happening gives us the wings. It also gives us the perseverance.

So we try. We try our best and take further steps towards the goal even though it is very challenging to get there. Pretty much like needing a miracle, sometimes.

When we get there, it is fantastic.

When we do not get there, it breaks our heart.


To hope or not to hope when the goal is not likely to happen – which one do you choose?



random thoughts

I cannot believe it is Wednesday- the week is almost over.

In the morning, I needed to unexpectedly work on something with one of my team members, which somehow threw my daily schedule off. I felt distracted and inefficient. Thus I am not feeling satisfied about my work performance today. I did some work in the rest of the day though, just not the important ones that require my full attention. That is what happens when my day is fragmented between meetings, phone calls, urgent matters, and all. I need to protect my time to handle things.

I have learnt my lesson – I better keep the morning hours to myself so that I can do things and feel good about it. Awesome!

Since the days are long now, I stay up late in the office, maybe until 6pm. That is great so that I can catch up with work. In my unit, the summer work hours for staff is 30 min less/day than in winter. When comes to us, it seems to be opposite. This is of course a voluntary act on our side. I would rather work long hours in spring/summer than short hours in winter. When the darkness set, it is time to go home. That is my motto 🙂

I still have two more weekdays and if I wish, I know I can work at the weekend. I am hopeful that I will finish the things at my hand.

So no worries.

All will be fine.

joy journal – April 14, 2015

Here are the things I am excited, happy, or content about today 🙂

1. I am grateful for walking back from office to home – 30 min of walk. It is relaxing and good for my body. Well done 🙂

2. I am grateful for working with little or no stress today. Things are moving smoothly, though I will start working heavily again sometime soon.

3. I am grateful for eating some fruits at noon when I attended a presentation.

4. I am grateful for having a warm and bright day.

5. I am grateful about breaking my routine and working at my favourite cafe this afternoon. The waitress is a nice young lady; we chat each time (usually at the weekends). I was happy to chat with her (talking about coffee and weather, what else? 🙂 ). She asked me how long I have been here and whether I got used to the weather. yes, I have gotten used to the weather, but it took me a couple of years…. 🙂

6. I am grateful that there was still bagels at the cafe so I could get them this afternoon as well. Sometimes they run out of them, as these bagels are really nice and many people consume them.

7. I am grateful for taking the evening and the night easy, browsing the net and reading. Life is good when the mind is occupied by lovely things.

8. I am grateful for my food. I have not necessarily eaten ultra healthy today, but every once a while should be okay.

9. I am grateful for switching to walking shoes. I do not think I need to wear my winter boots again. I have lovely shoes, comfortable, too, which will be awesome to walk in.

10. I am grateful for being healthy, safe, and sound.

11. I am grateful for feeling better today, compared to yesterday.

12. I am grateful for combing my hair in the morning. How come I get so lazy I have no idea. My hair is long now and I can have a nice hair cut sometime to refresh my look.

13. I am grateful for the nice and chatty cab driver in the morning. He is not one of the regular drivers that give me ride in the morning. he was nice and excited about the beautiful day. Happy people’s attitude is infectious. What other way to start a day than such positive experiences?

14. I am grateful for sitting at my couch, rather than my recliner. There is something cozy and healing about this couch… It makes me feel pampered and relaxing. That is very interesting considering that it is just a couch…. Whatever that is, I will take it. feeling good is priceless.

15. I am grateful for continuing to clean my office and boxing some stuff. I cannot wait till next wednesday to finally say goodbye to my current office and move into my new office. Bright, clean, new office with a window. New furniture and environment. feeling good :0

16. I am grateful for meeting with a nice colleague of mine today. Having a chat felt good and his work is really interesting. We hope to recruit him to our department.

17. I am grateful for not getting a negative news today.

18. I am grateful for being hopeful about the spring and the summer. I am grateful for the hope that finally I will be able to feel the breeze on my skin. I am grateful that I will be able to go to the parks and listen to the trees as the wind goes through their leaves, making that beautiful and relaxing wooosh sound. I sometimes would like to think that trees can actually know a lot… strange but that is what it is 🙂

19. I am grateful for easily feeling grateful today 🙂

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