random thoughts

I have been working so hard and under so much pressure lately that for the first time or so in my life I am glad I must clean my home and do laundry today. It is weird, but true. I enjoy sitting in my living room right now and listening to the dryer’s noise and not thinking about the work I must take care of. I think I will let it sink back to me tomorrow. That is okay. At least I am giving myself the freedom to enjoy today….

I woke up tired and late but felt better with coffee (also ordered bagels this time – pampering feels good 🙂 ) and walking to a store 15 min away to shop. There were really good sales for items I had needed, so I took this opportunity and certainly it felt good. I even saved an additional 2 bucks by using a coupon that came with the insert last week.

I was thinking; while saving and limiting my daily expenses feels so good, why do I not have a stricker budget? I know for example I did take the cab three times this week; each costing around 10 bucks per ride. When I think about it, this actually is the cost of 15 kgs of bread flour (which would give me around 40-45 loafs of bread).

So, what am I doing wrong here?

Since my summer vacation, I have been relax in terms of spending. I am not spending a lot, but I sure am spending more than before and often on unnecessary items. I have been feeling the conflict created by saving by following sales and at the same time by making unnecessary purchases. While it is annoying for sure, I am also glad that I believe eventually this feeling will help me to cut expenses and have a lean budget again.

I really am looking forward to this.

Now back to the dryer and cleaning -my relaxants of the day 🙂

what was love?

One of my friends told me about an old movie about a young and beautiful lady with a little kid running away from something/someone and eventually finding sanctuary at the house of an older guy, who would protect and got to love both of them over time.

They were not wife and husband, though, as the lady was still in love with the father of the kid; the father who has not cared about them, the mother and the child, and the father whom they were running away from (or the negative conditions that were created because of the lack of the care by the father, like providing for them, protecting and making them safe, etc.). They just stayed at his house and under their care without any problem/annoyance created by the older guy.

Then the father shows up many years later and things get tangled. She still loves him in a way. First thing that she wants to do is to reunite with the father as he is the love of her life, yet then there was this other guys who protected and provided shelter, food, and safety to the kid and the mother without expecting anything in return. Plus, he got to love her as a woman and the kid like his own.

She was confused: What should she do?

Her heart pulled her to the father and then to the other guy, and then to the father, and then to the other guy.

And eventually, she chose the other guy.

She asked herself before making her decision:

“What was love?”

 

“Love was the demonstrated goodness/kindness/camaraderie.

Love was effort.”

………………

I keep thinking about love in multiple dimensions today because of my decision to not adopt the wonderful cat I fell in love with, which seems to have serious dental problems even though he is only around 2 years…

What was love for me?

What was love?

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