when it is selfish, when it is good?

I have a previous team member of mine, who would like to re-join my team. Knowing what a terrific and efficient team member they were, of course I am delighted to employ them again! However, I also feel like I am their mentor so I should be thinking about their best first. I kind of think that if they work in a different department, it would be much better for their development and future career plans.

I did communicate these thoughts to my team member. He in fact made a contact with the other department, even though they were reluctant – they think that their work, development, and progress under my leadership will be faster and more effective (it is always great to hear such feedback from my team members – if there is one thing I am good at is to help them and their projects progress on time and without much of a delay. This often means that I shoulder a lot of things myself and move things forward, and hence extra stress, but the end results – their success – is always satisfying).

The team member is now at the cross road of choosing which department to go; mine or the other? I encouraged them to think what is best for them, but also expressed my willingness to welcome them in my team. I am sure this helped them feel great about themselves, having a secure place and offer always does. But I hope it will not complicate their decision process.

I kinda leave the rest to life – I would be more than happy to have them in my team. I would also be more than happy to have them develop themselves in an area that they are particularly interested in, even though the other department will not take responsibility for my team member’s development or progress as much I can.

We will see how life will guide our lives soon.


when the two opposite roads cross

There are something in life that put you in quite conflicted position. In order to move on, one road should be chosen over the other, but what happens when both roads are true to your role? How do you choose?

For instance, leadership versus democratic decisions in cases when there are critical decisions to be made while representing others, on their behalf? Do you do what your leadership position requires and decide yourself based on the perimeters/responsibilities of your position, or do you consult and consider the wishes/opinions of the groups you are representing? Even more challenging is; in the latter case, how do you proceed when their wishes do not align with your position’s values?

Let me give an example (while not a good one…): Let’s assume you are, say, a school’s principal and you are requested by the Ministry to stop providing lunch boxes to the students in need for free and rather ask them to help with the chores around the school an hour/day to qualify for the free lunch.

You as the principal feel that the free lunch is important to provide to the students who cannot afford it; it is a matter of equity, a matter of caring for the students and their wellness regardless of their economic background, and making sure that they have access to the basic needs and means to excel at school. You think that imposing such a system will disadvantage many of the otherwise bright students and are planning to make a case to Ministry and object to the new plan.

You ask the students (and parents) and a significant portion agrees to Minister’s plan considering the financial crisis the country/school is going through. They feel that they/their kids don’t deserve to have free lunch while their peers pay for their own. And the majority of those parents whose kids pay for lunch agree to this.

Yet, another but smaller portion states that they do need the free lunch as they cannot otherwise afford lunch, and cannot possibly let their kids work an hour/day continuously while the kids also attend to their classes, do part-time jobs, or take care of family obligations. A small portion of the parents whose kids pay for their lunches also supports this.

What do you do as the principal?

Stand by your overall moral compass and make the objection to the Ministry?


Render a decision based on the majority group and say to Ministry that the new plan will be implemented?

Let me know what you think!


slowly slowing down

I have been slowing down the work, and stress as a result, in the last two days. I am feeling good and ready to come back to my regular self. Not yet, but soon.

I developed this fear that the moment I will relax, something else will happen. So I am keeping my guard up for any new events to show up. A tiring feeling.

Next week will be busy with drafting and finalizing a project that I have been working on for some time. Including many people in it is an opportunity for a better project, but managing conflicts and everybody’s interest is not something I am looking forward to. I try to convince myself that this is neither the first nor the last time that I will have to handle such a complex team dynamic, so eventually things will be better. Eventually I will forget or move on with a valuable experience. This is good ๐Ÿ™‚

Crossroads Of History GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

While I am officially off today, I went to office and had two meetings with my team ย members. Since these meetings move our own work, I am happy to show up at the office. However, I realized once more how much I resent doing little work that others can do. What a waste of time for me while more important issues wait my attention/time and my team members can take care of the little points themselves with a little bit effort. That is a dilemma… I guess if I was not such a control freak and aim to do high quality work, I would eagerly let my team members to take care of the fine points. Yet the past experience says that they are still young and not highly experienced, so to ensure that we will have a good product, I feel like there is no other option, but me being directly doing the work… Tiring… But the reward is well worth it… Still resenting it, though…

I finished working at home in the afternoon and was ready to do something different. Honest to goodness, nothing came to my mind.. Shopping? Walking? Seeing a movie? Watching TV? None…. I could not even think about reading a book. I understood that my transition from fast and high-volume work to my regular work load (and mental relaxation) has not finalized yet. Give me a couple of more days…

Yesterday I made a list of things that I have done in the last 5 weeks (the start of my work staycation period). I liked what I have seen :)))) There are so much done in that period of time. Yes, it was hard on me, very stressful and threw me off my routine, but eventually I have done what I meant to do. New issues are emerging and some of my tasks are not done yet, but I keep this list somewhere close to me so that I can look at it and find motivation and satisfaction. That was one great idea that I am glad I have come up with ๐Ÿ™‚

Tacocat GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

I remember seeing a profile of a surgeon somewhere in Canada. He was just appointed as a director of a large unit. In that news, he mentioned something like “I am looking forward to challenges this position may/will bring and resolving them“. I always thought that this was odd, as I take challenges quite serious and it takes extraordinary mental energy to resolve some of the issues. So, I do not know whether he just said that, as it was expected from a director/leader, or has indeed a personality that can look at challenges without getting emotionally and energy-wise drained. I know some people are better in handling challenges and I want to believe that that person in fact stated the truth. This would mean that there is still room for me to develop and achieve that mental attitude.

Obama GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

Tomorrow is another day. I will see what the day will bring. Until then, I am off to preparing a nice dinner and watching the X-Files ๐Ÿ™‚



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trips, business meetings, lost luggages, and thoughts

Trip #2 done yesterday and the last one is starting tomorrow morning ๐Ÿ™‚

I have had an interesting and somehow painful business meeting; the competition and unprofessionalism peaked time to time, which is always annoying. Despite all the turbulence, I could manage being able to stay calm, positive, and constructive.

In business, the relationships are fragile and establishing a trust environment is a must. When, though, one person or group is stronger than the others, this balance is hard to serve everyone equally. I did my best, but we have a long way to go. I come back thinking that if it does not serve me better, I may as well leave this group and my role. I am okay with that. I can dedicate my time, energy, and nerves to something better and more meaningful. This thought gave me a relief.

I also am glad that I am going thru these experiences.ย I learnt thatย If I was to lead such a group in the future, I would do things differently. I would be 100% transparent for example. It would not be only about my, my interests, or my people’s interests that I would protect, but everyones’. I would be fair and dependable. It would be a win-win situation. Like any leader is supposed to be. I am happy to learn and notice.

The airline lost my luggage and I only got it back this morning ๐Ÿ™‚ Imagine going to an important meeting with the travel attire; it was great that the hotel had a laundry room that was open 24 hrs/day. It was also awesome that I had extra stuff and my pajamas on my backpack, together with other personal items. In the afternoon though I needed to take a cab to go to a shopping center and buy new clothes for the dinner that was held after the meeting.

I will write a complaint letter to the airline and request reimbursement for some of the expenses I have made. They do give me $100 for my clothes but nothing else; who cares if my personal and professional life is negatively affected by them losing my luggage? I do…

This is not the first time they have lost my luggage and honestly it is a miracle that they could bring it back to me today. Right before my third trip tomorrow morning ๐Ÿ™‚ The good thing that now I do not have to prepare a luggage – it is already packed and ready to go! ๐Ÿ™‚

re; my healthy life style plan: I have done well in the first day of the trip, but the second and the third day were not so good: I have eaten desserts, cookies, pizzas…. Oh, boy..

re: budget: went well, except the funds required to take the cab to go to the shopping center. I should be okay with that.

Missing reading the blogs and writing posts. Hope to catch up later!

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