joy journal – September 15, 2017

I figured that if I have a positive mental state right before the sleep, then I wake up feeling positive! This is such a priceless experience. Thus, here comes today’s joy journal entry:

1. I am grateful for waking up around 4 am and getting up around 5 am. These are very early hours for me. I enjoyed a couple of cups of coffee and found a chance to work at peace. Lovely 🙂

2. I am grateful for sending out a report to other parties. We have been working very hard on it in the last few months and I am glad we are close to its final submission after the revisions.

3. I am grateful for taking the bus this morning. Weather was nice, cool, and dry, which made waiting for bus a possibility.

4. I am grateful for working quietly at the office.

5. I am grateful for for eating a pear and two apples at the office. Fruits is nice and healthy 🙂

6. I am grateful for sitting in an afternoon meeting for 4 hours and despite the lower back ache staying till the end. I wonder how we can do this.. Sitting for so long… How is this even possible to have the mental clarity to contribute to such a long meeting? I have some ideas to shorten this time, which I hope to propose next time.

7. I am grateful for walking back to the store close to my home and purchasing some items on sale. they are good for me on the long rem. Price was the lowest I have seen in that store and was very comparable to other sales in distant stores. I feel lucky to have found these items today.

8. I am grateful for eating a healthy meal with lots of iron in it (beef liver). My iron levels are down again, which worries me. I am not anemic and my energy levels are good, but I am worried about having a disease that can cause this. I hope it is just diet related. This makes sense to me because I keep eating the same things and rarely any meat, which is a good source of iron. I am making an effort now to eat more diverse than before. the trick is to aim high (more than 10 different food sources and at least one meal with red meat per week). I usually do not stick to this kind of plans, but I hope this time it will work out for me on the long run.

9. I am grateful for eating salad full of a variety of raw veggies and lemon juice. Yummy 🙂

10. I am grateful for trying to resurrect my sourdough again… This is the second time that I have forgotten to spare starter lately. I am feeling upset about this, but keep thinking that my mind is so focused on work that it can be normal to forget trivial things..

11. I am grateful for having my window open and letting fresh air in.

12. I am grateful for having plans to shop tomorrow! Yes, I plan to shop and get food. I also plan to have my hair cut tomorrow – let’s see how this will work out.

13. I am grateful for having the night to myself and enjoying the dark and quiet environment. It is so peaceful right now….

14. I am grateful for everything I have at home; furniture, clothes, shoes, kitchen items, light bulbs, comforter, my computer, and internet access that make my life easy safe, and comfortable.

15. I am grateful for making an effort to fill my mind with these beautiful experiences, rather than negative encounters 🙂

 

 

 

 

 

nights

You know I love the night, way more than the day.

There is something so healing, so peaceful about silence, darkness, and lack of chatters and other people-related distractions (like phone, email etc). Nights are totally “my time”.

In the last one month or so, I started to have the habit of taking my laptop up to my bed and reading and relaxing there. This is quite unusual for me, but it was mostly motivated by the back problem I have had; sitting or lying in bed is easier on my back than sitting on the couch or the chair. At first I was not sure how I would feel about this, but now I am enjoying it very much.

I am often up till 12 pm or so, and even later at the weekends. I do not know whether it is the positive effects of my iron and vitamin D supplementation, but I am feeling less need to sleep (around 7.5 hours rather than 9 hours) and can easily wake up at around 7.30 – 8 am. I do not get up at that time, though. One of my long-time habit is to go back to sleep. I am usually up around 9 am. Then I go to the office. Usually takes me less than 30 min to get dressed, take the bus, and arrive there. I know I am lucky that my job has a flexible schedule and nobody says anything about me not being in the office before 9 am or after 4 pm. I am lucky (I told you I had a great job – it will be so difficult to leave this work).

Anyways, why did I start writing about nights now? I think because I was thinking the daylight savings ending (or starting?) this weekend. Does that mean we will have an extra hour of sleep or not? That I do not know, but I know that we will have more sunlight.

Yay for sunlight! Now, I love the nights but this does not mean I do not love to see the sun. I do. It gives me more energy and positive mood. Overall, sunlight is good for me, good for many people. I am so looking forward to it.

It also signals me that spring is about to come. Well, where I am we can expect snow till May but that is okay. I guess once March is over, the worst part of the winter will be over, too. When there is hope, there is excitement.

They expect a warmer than regular Spring this year. That would be really awesome. Four years ago or so we had a warmer summer here where people would get tans and overall looked happier than other summers. That was one great summer. Hope we can get a warmer than average spring and summer this year.

Hope we can all enjoy them.

Hope I can enjoy them.

heart-break nostalgia

I do not know why but in the last week I have been thinking about my latest heartbreaker quite intensely.

The nights are the worst; why do I experience this? Do I not make myself tired, amused with life, or busy enough?

Nights have always been my favorite time of the day. Quiet, peaceful, relaxing, and all mine…

Not lately.

Lately, he has been in my mind. The bitterness, annoyance, rejection, and pain, all of them, seem to have lifted all of a sudden. I care about him as much as before. I am smitten all over again.

I swear I did not see that coming.

“…I will not walk with you on the same path again

You put traps for those who walk with you..”

joy journal – June 22, 2015

1. I am grateful for waking up, albeit with a negative mood, yet for nevertheless being alive.

2. I am grateful for missing some people, some smiles, some good memories that I cherish. Yep, I have lost those people, yet having the memories is priceless.

3. I am grateful for working stress-free but effectively today; many tasks have remained that I need to take care of prior to my vacation. I think this weekend and next week (July 1st – the Canada day holiday) will be great opportunities to put an extra effort to finish them all.

4. I am grateful for being usually organized and keeping a to-do-list at the office and at home. Once I take my time and put my focus on the projects/work and itemize their steps in a sequence, the rest is just following the plan one thing at a time. No need to in-depth thinking about the entire picture every single day.

5. I am grateful for typing and printing luggage name tags today; I bought two tag holder yesterday for my coming trip. I have had many occasions when the luggage either did not arrive to the right carousel or the right airport! Describing the luggage each time and waiting for them to be brought back to the residence is a headache. The name tags are supposed to help with the process. More importantly, it is for my peace of mind; last time I could not have had a name tag because of hurry and all I could hope was the description I gave would be enough to locate the luggage. It worked last time, but this year I am more experienced 🙂

6. I am grateful for having the night to myself – peaceful as usual.

7. I am grateful for eating fruits tonite – it is pretty much a habit now. I was only a sporadic fruit-eater. In the last while, I have been consistently eating apples and oranges. They help me with limiting the late-night eating habit (I used to not sleep if I had not eaten carbs, such as bread).

8. I am grateful for the tea I have had this evening – something different today a ginger-lemon tea. Surprisingly refreshing and tasty.

9. I am grateful for being okay with trying new stuff; like internet music sites other than youtube. Thanks to one of them I have come across one of the most beautiful songs…. I have been very happily listening to it, even though its genre is not one of my favorites.

10. I am grateful for walking in the afternoon (from the office to home); a slight yet consistent exercise 🙂

11. I am grateful for my notebooks, pens, computer, internet connection, books, cable, TV, phone line and all the food and furniture I have at home. They are useful; helpful; make me life comfortable and entertaining.

12. I am grateful for my blog; thanks to it I have a chance to write and formulate my feelings, thoughts, plans, and wishes.

13. I am grateful for keeping up with many of the challenges I have assigned to myself: I am walking whenever I can; continuing to eat consciously and simple; doing grocery shopping as needed not automatically; continuing to consciously spend my funds and making a consistent effort to keep my expenses within my limits; losing weights slowly without no sight of gaining back (yet); moisturizing my face everyday; drinking tea every work-day; continuing with my spending freeze of books; listening to the wonderful music both at the office and home (thanks to internet and computer); enjoying the view from my office and my yard every single day; and writing to my joy journal at least twice a week (not as frequent as it should be but that is okay).

14. I am grateful for not getting up late even though I go to bed late in the last couple of weeks; getting old 🙂

15. I am grateful for helping two people at work today and getting an unexpected offer of help from someone else for a big project of mine; he is supposed to introduce me to important connections tomorrow; cannot wait 🙂

16. I am grateful for looking at the mirror without getting terrified with the size of my belly! I am extra cautious with the belly as it can enlarge in a couple of days just like a balloon. It is such an interesting area in the body; seriously. I guess the types of food I eat can make this area change in a short time. The only way to get rid of this ever-hanging issue is to lose the fat around the belly area. They say this kind of fat is the most dangerous one, as it is close to the critical internal organs and fat can increase the level of inflammation that is linked to many disease such as diabetes, cancer, cardiovascular disease, and early aging…

17. I am grateful for being grateful.

late-night random thoughts

First of all, late nights are awesome! They are silent, peaceful, and I feel like I have the entire world to myself.

Nowadays I have been going to the bed late. Tonite is one of them. I am not worried about not getting up on time. I am not sure whether it is true that as we age, we need less sleep? I always thought it was because of reduced amount of exercise maybe? Considering my almost the same level of exercise over the days or months, i do not think lack of exercise has anything to do with my reduced need of sleep. There must be another reason.

This morning, I woke up right on time to catch the bus, but rather took the cab. Why?

I do not have good mood in the mornings. This morning I woke up particularly pissed. I remembered (and why did I do that?) that one of my “good” friends had joked and almost insulted me about a treat basket I sent her all they way from Canada to USA when she got married. That was maybe 8 years ago. That is what she said about the chocolate in the basket;  “You know how much I love chocolate; I even ate that chocolate”.

Well, I  am not sorry that I did not send you the finest chocolate ever. I was almost penniless at that time and it cost me more than 2 weeks of allowance. 2 weeks.. yet, I sent it to you to celebrate your beautiful day.

No more gifts for you my friend – until you start appreciating people’s efforts and good wishes for you. Or at least until you zip it.

And this thought does not make me feel good, either; I prefer to have good wishes, good thoughts, gratefulness….

I am pissed at my friend once more.

I am surprised how mean and inconsiderate people can be and how we can keep them in our lives. In my case, my friend turned out to be a solid one, but she certainly is not shy to insult me as she pleases.

Again, I am pissed..

Deep breath.. All is well.. Right now I have everything and everyone I need and want. Right now I am at peace….

When I get up in the morning, I will be grateful for being alive, for welcoming another beautiful day full of life-experiences and opportunities, and hopefully will do or think something to make myself feel good.

Goodnight everyone 🙂

nights, sleep, and carbs

I could not sleep. This is one the rare nights that I had to come back to my living room. TV is on and I am posting a blog.

It is raining outside – it started in the late evening. I wonder whether it will rain tomorrow, too.

Carbs are great in the sense that they help me sleep. I will have some bread in a minute or so. I am sure it will help me to get sleepy. Another thing that prevents me from sleeping is an active and excited mind. Thoughts. Well, it happens to anyone, anytime I guess.

Nights were always my favourite – quiet, peaceful, and lacking distraction. Great time for reflection, connecting to self, and relaxation. But, I had sleeping problem maybe a decade ago. I was not able to sleep till 4-5 am in the morning. i am not saying it has been healthy and did not affect my life negatively – it did eventually. I found exercise and eating carbs were the best way to help me sleep at a normal time.

So I can have carbs and let my body complain about it, or, I do not eat carbs and have difficulty falling asleep. Dilemma. Eventually, I hope my body will be okay with eating some carbs right before going to bed: sleep is essential too 🙂

there is something nice, serene, peaceful about the late-nights

I am so much enjoying this late night browsing in the social media and watching the TV.

I did a good decision (at least for now) to not go to office tomorrow; I hope I will not get an emergency email tomorrow that will require me to go there.

I love this feeling of freedom; freedom to not go to bed while I am enjoying my time doing stuff that relaxes me. there is something nice, serene, peaceful about the late-nights.

I should be very grateful for my job, which is though quite heavy, also allows me to have a flexible schedule.

I am also grateful for myself for keep working, till it becomes too much to be in the office.

Life is supposed to be good 🙂

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