Personal plans and excitement for 2020

It is the last day of the decade….

We are closing a year with all the happenings and entering into a new chapter in our lives with great expectations. This day deserves some closure on our emotional world and some new paths in our life directions.

While reflecting during the holiday season this year, I noticed that in terms of having plans for the new year, I felt like floating randomly rather than swimming in a direction towards where I want to land.

Was this a bad thing? A good thing?

Upon further reflection, I have seen that I have achieved quite a bit of what I wanted in the last years, and was maintaining these in my life as well. This meant that I did not need to have specific plans to integrate them in my life. These included my financial plans/savings, being resourceful, keeping hobbies (like books, baking) and work-productivity and all. I had a great job (even though stressful), a house (even though still paying off mortgage), a simple and effective life-style, and was constantly reflecting on life, myself, and my work. I was healthy and did not have a chronic health issue and such. In the book of many, these meant I had a good life.

So, eventually that sensation of floating turned out to be an indicator of a good thing šŸ™‚

It also meant that there were other things to change and improve in my life, I could work towards higher levels of satisfaction and meaning in life.

Eventually, my wishes and plans for my life from now on all came on the following four areas:

  1. Wellness and well-being
  2. Recognition
  3. Success
  4. Sorting out what is important and what is not

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  1. Wellness and well-being
  • I want to lose fat.

I am over-weight. I have always been, I guess. But this is getting a little bit our of hand.

My weight-related issues have controlled me and my life my entire life. I was fat. Ugly. Disgusting. Unwanted. Unliked. Unloved. I feel resentments towards those, including my own family members, that unknowingly sow the seeds of low-self esteem in me because of my weight, and making me resentful towards them.

I want to feel better about myself; I have that years of training – by both the family and society – that I can only be pretty if I am slim. I cannot shake this up. I believe that I will feel better, pretty, and confident if I lose weight.

A second and perhaps a less important motivation is health-related. I want to drop the extra fat so that my knees, back, and feet experience less pressure & less wear and tear. I want to feel strong and able for a very long time. With my lower back issues in the last 4 years and my feet/knee problems since this summer, it is becoming at an alarming level. I believe that it will also help with metabolic disorder – if I have that – and heart health should I lose 15% of my body weight. This is, my friends, 33 pounds.

They say that in order to accomplish a goal, it must be as specific as possible, have a time-line, and be measurable.

My timeline is a year from today; by the end of 2020 I plan to lose 33 pounds off my current body weight.

The plan for this?

I must just control my out eating; when I eat what I eat regularly I slowly lose weight. But when it is the holidays, there is a social, a trip, or visit to home, I eat and eat and eat. End result is gaining what I have been losing.

There must be a way to end this process.

I will also cut out wheat – I will try to bake breads using different flours and see whether this makes a difference. And will be drinking green tea. The rest can be pretty much like before.

  • Exercise, bone health, and supplements

I have been walking steadily almost every day, which is great. However, winter is here and it will be kind of difficult to walk on the icy weather. Nevertheless, I am determined to keep walking as much as I can. In addition to this, I re-introduced my in-home exercises during the holidays. They are light stretches and weight-training exercises, such as push-ups or lifting dumbbells. I also have back exercises that straighten my abs and back muscles. I can feel the sore muscles on my back, abs, and arms which tells me that these exercises, however, light they may be are working šŸ™‚

In terms of bone health – I must pay more attention to taking my Calcium supplement and drinking my milk. I have no hots for the milk, my friends. Yogurt is great, but not the milk. So, I do not know what else can be done, other than reminding myself to take my supplements.

I also have iron, vitamin Bs, and vitamin D supplements. I want to use them time to time, even though a regular use is not needed. Iron particularly may be needed as I am moving away from eating animal meat again. Vitamin D is great as it is the winter season and it helps absorption of Calcium.

 

Ā Ā Ā  2. Recognition and 3. Success

I have been working very very hard and meticulously, and I have made lost of positive contributions to my field and work-place.

I rightfully now accept and welcome all the great recognitions, awards, thank you notes, and letters by my unit, institution, and national and international organizations. I also welcome and accept with open arms the success that I deserve, promotions, invitations, awards, acknowledgments, and all the other indicators of success that are a part of my line of profession.

I have no hesitation to welcome these.

2020 is that year – once again but in a very longtime now – that I lift my chin up with confidence, satisfaction, and pride & be excited about my work and my accomplishments.

 

Ā Ā Ā  4. Sorting out what is important and what is not.

This is a must. Does it take minutes even hours to decide what gift to pick, what action to take next?

Both in my professional and personal life, I do find it increasingly difficult to confidently make decisions for no apparent reason.

I have no plan for this, other than to ask my self each time whether it is worth my energy, time, and mental efforts. I must remember that these are important too and should not be depleted so easily. Luckily, I picked a book yesterday just on this topic – I believe it will be helpful to me.

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With these and with love, I end this post. I wish all of you a great new year, my friends. May it bring to you whatever your kind heart desires and deserves.

Sweet 2020.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A look at my 2019

I have had an interesting year, for sure.

I remember that at the beginning, I was frustrated with my family a lot and was ready to cool our relationship. Then, a dear family member of mine had a near-death experience, which made me re-think about my stupid frustrations. It was a very rocky and startling start to the new year…

I was working hard and stressed, and frustrated. On top of these, I also had developed insomnia, with 4-5 hours of sleep every night. There were toxic colleagues around, which made things worse. I knew I was going for a tough time, but also kept my hopes high. I took a couple of days off in mid-winter and did not even check my emails during this time. It was refreshing and one of the best decisions ever.

Then I went to visit my family and had a pleasant time with them. It was also quite relaxing for me. Since then I hardly have had insomnia.

Upon turning from this visit, I made important decisions. Two things have controlled me during my entire life – my weight and junk food. I decided to end both of these and take the control of my own life. I succeeded in refraining from junk food (almost 5 months now šŸ™‚ ), but my weight loss saga is far from a success. I am still determined, however.

I continued to work hard and got an international recognition mid Fall. This was one of the best feelings ever. I also took new roles and enjoyed them very much.

One of my most toxic colleagues has left my unit, leaving me with a sense of happiness and comfort.

I saved quite a bit of money, especially after quitting the junk food. It was amazing. My chequing account is now at the positive numbers, and I was even able to make a pre-payment order.

In so many ways, it has been a challenging year – personally and professionally. But I also see many positive developments in me; like taking time off from work, keeping my hope up, pursuing freedom from habits that drag me down, saving a good amount of money and appreciating my family better. I also see how lucky I am sometimes; the toxic people leaving my work environment is a blessing.

There are things, like weight loss, I must continue to work on. But I know I will. There is still a week till 2020 – this is the best time for me to formulate what I would like to change and improve/integrate in my life.

It is exciting šŸ™‚

it is time to have some plans

Now that I do not get any more (strong) anxiety, I have decided it was time that I come back to my regular routine by re-introducing my small daily life goals.

They literally make me feel like I am in control of my life, I am capable of taking care of my life and myself, and I am capable of making positive changes in my life.

They may be small, but mighty! šŸ™‚

Here they are:

Working at the office, not at home, during the weekdays: Working mostly at home in the last 7 months made me socially isolated. I now feel better if I am in the office and do the work there. I can and will continue to work at home after hours/weekends, but at least my social health will be better. I will also enjoy being at home – lately I went through too many of stressful times while trying to do work at home. It is time that I experience what “home” means.

Taking the bus and walking: Last week was good in terms of taking the bus in the morning and walking in the afternoons (back to home). I do not want to waste anymore dimes on the cab (although I love it – so easy and comfy. Also the cabbies are always nice and very talkative). BUT I want to keep my money for more important things. I must keep my money for more important things.

Eating better: I have done well in the last two weeks by eating a variety and healthy food. I still sometime munch on candy or chocolate, but I cook more and eat more salad. The lettuce seems to be doing the magic šŸ™‚

Stretching and elbow exercises: My physiotherapy continues and my elbow has been feeling better but not quite healed. I was given a new exercise last Friday that aims to smooth the muscles around my elbow (they are very tight). The effect was instantaneous and I cannot think about not doing these exercises! I feel so lucky and hopeful that my elbow will be like new quite soon šŸ™‚

Budget and frugal life-style:Ā  This is a long one.

I have been struggling with keeping up with my budget and that makes me feel bad. Literally bad. I have had a very successful history of highly effective budget and saving as much as I can. Last year was hugely successful.

However, I have not started this year well and I am way above my weekly budget and cannot save much from my pay check. This is ridiculous – I have some payments coming up; one soon for a plane ticket to Europe and another one for an investment account (an annual sum that challenges me each year, but I keep making it knowing that in the future it will be so useful). According to my calculations, unless I save around a good sum of money each month, it looks like I will not be able to make pre-payments and I will have to tap into my line of credit account.

WHAT??

An additional debt? Was mortgage not good enough??

By the way; why did Bank of Canada increased its interest rate? Argh.. Now the major Canadian banks are increasing their mortgage rates and they predict further increases in the future. My term ends in 2 years and with increased tax and no salary increase, how the hey am I supposed to pay my mortgage, invest for my retirement, and have a comfortable life all at the same time ??

……..

Going back to my frugality plan; all I have to do is to start being responsible and motivated about savings again. Which is hard. I meant to do this almost everyday lately. I know that it will happen one day, but when is that day? Tomorrow? Monday? Next week?Ā 

I chose Monday – wish me luck šŸ™‚

 

 

 

#5 topic for reflection during holidays

I have been thinking; without taking new challenges, growth is stalled. Why do I not look at the problems as challenges and see how I learn and grow?

Taking issues as challenges will be my #5 topic to reflect during the reflection season (aka holiday season).

I have been dealing with a lot of issues all my life, both at work and at my social life. IĀ  yesterday mentioned about “liking my comfort zone” in the last few years. It is somehow related to this.

I have many work-place issues that I constantly try to solve. Little, big does not matter. They are constantly occurring. There are times that I am free of them, which are blessing. Naturally when one appears after such a period of comfortable time period, I react negatively.

I will try to take it easy next time. Next week I have an important meeting that can change things for me. I trust life. As long as I keep my cool, it is gonna be fine. I suspect that I will have to make a hard choice after this meeting, but it is possible that this choice is the better one. I must trust life. I must trust the unknown.

I will then decide with a soother and more rational mind.

#4 topic for reflection during holidays

This has been something I have been keep visiting but never fully committed to:

#4 topic for reflection during the holiday season for me is to take more risks. Being more bold. Doing things differently or doing different things.

I have had a tendency to move around my comfort zone, both at work and at life in the last few years. This past 6 months I somewhat moved into two new fields at work. It has been a bold step that was hard on me (too much stress and too much of a hard work), but it also helped grow me. Being interested in new topics, challenging myself, and then producing things/reports/projects that look really good gives a huge satisfaction. I would like to keep growing this way at work. Who knows; maybe I will even change my work šŸ™‚

As per my life and life-style, I need to apply a similar mind-set. The trouble is that as I age, I find that I need/enjoy more of stability and less of challenges. Social interactions would be one example – I am getting more and more enjoying a solo life and limited social interactions than before. Good? Bad? I do not know. But this might be one area to challenge myself.

Another area may be changing my style. This past weekend I wished I had worn dresses šŸ™‚ Would that not be amazing? With proper leggings/pants, summer or winter I may be able to enjoy this new style. I think it will be just fine together with my new (naturally silvery, pepper and salt hair) šŸ™‚

Goodness knows, maybe I will even go out to musicals or concerts šŸ™‚

#3 topic for reflection during holidays

Being more assertive is my #3 topic to tackle this year during my reflection season, aka, holiday season.

As I age I found that I got more understanding and tolerant. While these are great qualities, they are not always great. Sometimes we must sit back, evaluate, and then say no. Whether it is our own ego’s or somebody else’s request, it does not matter.Ā 

This past year particularly I have had a number of experiences with my colleagues and work-place management where I was literally taken advantage of and burdened with extra work and ridiculous requests. Since winter I have been distancing myself from such a colleague and I still need to handle another one. Also, for some time now I have been asking questions and not saying yes to everything my management asks me to do. Hear me my fellow bloggers and do not sign anything before you absolutely sure to understand. There is so much sneaky management tricks that may fool you, especially if you are like me and tend to trust. Consult your union, knowledgeable people around you, or a lawyer. This is real.

So I have had some progress in this area and I know that I will keep going until all becomes manageable. There is more to be learnt and I am looking forward to it.

 

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