A look at my 2019

I have had an interesting year, for sure.

I remember that at the beginning, I was frustrated with my family a lot and was ready to cool our relationship. Then, a dear family member of mine had a near-death experience, which made me re-think about my stupid frustrations. It was a very rocky and startling start to the new year…

I was working hard and stressed, and frustrated. On top of these, I also had developed insomnia, with 4-5 hours of sleep every night. There were toxic colleagues around, which made things worse. I knew I was going for a tough time, but also kept my hopes high. I took a couple of days off in mid-winter and did not even check my emails during this time. It was refreshing and one of the best decisions ever.

Then I went to visit my family and had a pleasant time with them. It was also quite relaxing for me. Since then I hardly have had insomnia.

Upon turning from this visit, I made important decisions. Two things have controlled me during my entire life – my weight and junk food. I decided to end both of these and take the control of my own life. I succeeded in refraining from junk food (almost 5 months now 🙂 ), but my weight loss saga is far from a success. I am still determined, however.

I continued to work hard and got an international recognition mid Fall. This was one of the best feelings ever. I also took new roles and enjoyed them very much.

One of my most toxic colleagues has left my unit, leaving me with a sense of happiness and comfort.

I saved quite a bit of money, especially after quitting the junk food. It was amazing. My chequing account is now at the positive numbers, and I was even able to make a pre-payment order.

In so many ways, it has been a challenging year – personally and professionally. But I also see many positive developments in me; like taking time off from work, keeping my hope up, pursuing freedom from habits that drag me down, saving a good amount of money and appreciating my family better. I also see how lucky I am sometimes; the toxic people leaving my work environment is a blessing.

There are things, like weight loss, I must continue to work on. But I know I will. There is still a week till 2020 – this is the best time for me to formulate what I would like to change and improve/integrate in my life.

It is exciting 🙂

I have almost lapsed into extra spending today :)

Almost….

I wanted too 🙂 I really did – I wanted to come home early and get that junk food again..

It was an internal struggle really. I thought “it would be such a shame if I lapse right now, after a great day of frugal and simple life yesterday“.

Thank goodness I remembered that my computer does not run well nowadays and if I had come home and worked here, it would be a disaster. So, I stayed and did some work in the office. My craving for the junk food got subsidized at the same time.

I know in a couple of days I will forget these and will not even think about the junk food or other additional expenses I make to feel good in the midst of all the stress and hard-work. I know if I can go through a couple of weeks frugal, it is gonna be just easy after that.

Really. 

 

 

#3 topic for reflection during holidays

Being more assertive is my #3 topic to tackle this year during my reflection season, aka, holiday season.

As I age I found that I got more understanding and tolerant. While these are great qualities, they are not always great. Sometimes we must sit back, evaluate, and then say no. Whether it is our own ego’s or somebody else’s request, it does not matter. 

This past year particularly I have had a number of experiences with my colleagues and work-place management where I was literally taken advantage of and burdened with extra work and ridiculous requests. Since winter I have been distancing myself from such a colleague and I still need to handle another one. Also, for some time now I have been asking questions and not saying yes to everything my management asks me to do. Hear me my fellow bloggers and do not sign anything before you absolutely sure to understand. There is so much sneaky management tricks that may fool you, especially if you are like me and tend to trust. Consult your union, knowledgeable people around you, or a lawyer. This is real.

So I have had some progress in this area and I know that I will keep going until all becomes manageable. There is more to be learnt and I am looking forward to it.

 

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