They say that difficult things happen and we make mistakes to learn and develop.
While I do not enjoy going thru a hard time on things related to my job right now, I also learn.
Today I realized that:
- Me resigning from my position is a silly decision.
- I am too much focused on protecting my own and my ally’s/team’s rights that sometime i cannot see the other sides.
- I am tired and overwhelmed and my mistake rate is increased as a result.
- I must not undertake critical tasks right now, but I have to because of some deadlines. I must do whatever I can to make sure my mind is clear.
- Not everything will go ahead as I plan, think, or wish for. So I better get ready for failure as well.
- Whatever happens, this is a transition and there will be better days to come.
- I will change, the way I think or function at work will too, after all of these, but I will keep going.
- I will re-visit the idea of resignation in 2 years, or if something catastrophic happens that cannot be otherwise fixed. But not right now.
- I must focus on positive possibilities and positive outcomes so that I can move in such a direction. The more I think about resignation, the more I find myself subconsciously moving in that direction. This is self-sabotaging at best. This is silly.
- There will be better days and times to come. There will be positive outcomes. I may not know what they are now, but it has always been so. For example; at work there was a big project that I wanted to undertake and lead. It did not happen and it hurt. Last week we learnt that those who have such kind of projects would have to deal with a much bigger problem than I had anticipated. It is not something that I could easily handle, so I came to think that I was in fact lucky to not have this project that I wanted so much.
- In the last few years there has been things at work that did not come to a point that I wished them. The project I mentioned above is one of them. But, is that not true that there is a destiny for me and these are all helping shape it? Maybe I will come up with a better idea? Maybe a better project? Maybe I will in fact quit my profession at one point of my life, but maybe this will be a retirement, not a resignation? Maybe I will find a job all of a sudden and without much of an effort, and take it as an opportunity? Maybe these are all normal thoughts of someone who is under too much stress? Maybe whatever will happen will be better for me on the long run. I should have some faith in future and life. I should have patience. I should relax and be less jumpy. I should and will take one day at a time. I should embrace the opportunities and failures alike. Where is my grace? One can be graceful without quitting early, right?
- I must reflect on the goodness in life and around me more. Life is full of great things and people!
- I must take a break from all of these sometime soon. Luckily I have a short trip to Europe in a couple of weeks. It will give me some fresh air and mental break.