An account of the holiday season – 2019

I have had a long and positive Holiday season this year. I had to work on Mondays and Fridays, but this did not prevent me from feeling relax and peaceful, and enjoying my life a little bit better.

Notable positive experiences include:

  • cleaning the house – which took three days but was worth every minute & huff and puff
  • decluttering and donating unwanted or unused items – which felt great. It was like many of the unnecessary burden have been lifted off my shoulder and my life was in order again. Highly recommended
  • visiting a sick friend – which felt great
  • purchasing some items from thrift stores that made my life brighter, easier, and enjoyable. Among them are a little night lamp that fit my bedroom so well, a food processor that I wanted to have for a very long time; now I can have carrot salad more often; a porcelain teapot that I have been trying to find for a few years to replace my current highly battered one; and several pots that are adorable and admirable – this is always a unique pleasure. I feel like I have got the best of pots from thrift stores
  • finding time to recuperate and feel less pressured and stressed; watching Netflix and enjoying my time; cooking wholesome food with pleasure now that I spend more time on my 1st floor thanks to the new TV and Netflix
  • having an account of the past year and entering the new year with hope, great plans, and determinism
  • reflecting on my relationship with my family

I feel lucky to be able to find the items that I have been looking for with such an affordable prices.

I feel great to have assesses my last past year and see how much I have accomplished.

I feel proud of having a routine more like a “normal life”.

I feel encouraged to make even further changes and improvements in my life.

These are all positives.

I feel, however, conflicted about the thoughts and feelings I am having on my relationships with my family members. At one hand, I love them so dearly. But on the other hand, I resent. I realize that I feel guilty for not being there with them and caring for them. This is especially true for the parents. This is not something new, but facing it that raw is.

I came to a point that it will be better for me to accept this guilt and move on. I have done my best to keep contact with my family and help whenever I can while also tried very hard to build a life for myself. Having a family somewhere else with expectations from me and frustrations about myself have always been nagging and dragging me down…. The more I sought for acceptance, I think the farther possibility it became. Or, it was always there, but I could never expect it and, hence, could not see it. Hard for me to know. But this explains why I always felt like not settling anywhere and feeling low self-esteem as a person. Family approval, believe or not, is so important in one’s development. But I am at an age (around half a century) where I can let go off this need, right?

Right.

As, I said earlier, it will be challenging to accept this guilt and end seeking approval from family and their consequences, but I must.

With these in my mind, I also have great plans and wishes for 2020. I plan to pen them later in the day.

I wish you all a great relationship with yourself, your family, and the world as a whole in 2020! 🙂

holidays diary – Day 12 (and the end of it :) )

Boy, we are done – back to work! 🙂

I am ready.

I have had not the usual relaxing and joyful kind of holidays break this year, but some things got done and better; I cleaned my home, decluttered and donated, shopped a few days and purchased lovely things, cut out the junk food significantly, saved quite a bit of money by not eating junk food and not taking the cab everyday to work, did light work and almost completed two important documents, socialized with friends, gifted and got gifted (all great things that I am looking forward to using), slept longer than usual, and experienced much less stress and frustration created by work and work environment. I also let go of self-imposed “must do” kind of attitude and took some house chores and personal care (like, hair cut visit) easy. This last one is quite a change in my attitude, which I surprisingly found health. Well done 🙂

I could not read a novel that I so much wanted to, but hey I can always read a novel in any of the days. So, that is cool.

I have reflected on my life in 2018, but did not plan anything new or extraordinary for 2019. I am not against resolutions. On the contrary, I like and believe in the positivity and hope they give to us, even for a short term. I can always make resolutions, so this is cool, too.

Overall; not bad, eh?

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Today I meant to shop at thrift stores. We had bad weather in the morning with lots of snow, but when the bus started to work, I decided it was okay to go have a good time. I was the only one in the store and I could not find anything for my liking. So, when I saw outside, I understood why there was no one around. A new storm had just started and it was quite miserable outside. I do not know how I could make it to the cab station. Luckily it was a cabbie that I knew and the ride back to home was quite pleasant.

At the beginning it felt silly to have left the home at all, but sometimes we must try and take the chances. This is exactly what I have done. The outcome was something I did not wish for, but I have no control over the storms and I was able to make it home safely. Hence, I take it easy as well 🙂

I am relaxing this evening as well and have my itemized plans for tomorrow. I am ready to work like a golden horse again, until I become tired again. Knowing that all my efforts will be to reach my own goals, I am finding this easier to think about. Deep down, I feel that great things will happen to me this year; lots of awesome opportunities will find my way; success, health, money, respect, awards, and recognition will come to me easily; and I will continue to grow and develop personally and professionally.

I am looking forward to these.

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Hope 2019 is treating you all with Ease, Comfort, and Appreciation 🙂

holidays diary – Day 8

Today I allowed myself to fully focus on my own enjoyment and it has been great 🙂

First of all, I slept till 9 am – wow! Insomniacs like myself would know that this is huge – I am grateful.

I decided that I would spend the day at thrift stores and left home before noon. While saturdays are my weekly house chores day, you can predict that I let go of it today. Today I only focused on my enjoyment. What a change? I believe I am getting really relax and free of self-imposed necessities – how lovely 🙂

Before thrift stores, I visited a store and bought two gifts while they were on sale. I am pleased with them. I think one of them will go to a friend of mine who has been very generous with me. I hope she will like it. The other one will be a gift for the next year – I am usually not into gifts, but at work we do have one or two socials with gift exchange each year, so buying one right now feels great and will save me time and money later. So, I was very excited about this as well.

Then I visited the first thrift store. I bought a great set of mugs still in their boxes and apparently never been used. I cannot wait to use them. I also purchased a pitcher that I have been meaning to get for some time – it will be great in the office. What else did I buy? A small pot (of course) for hanging plants – it is cute and I plan to have it in my office, if not in my bathroom. A little spider plant would fit in it just well. It is very cute.

Then, I walked to the second one (I am so lucky that both of these stores are at walking distance to each other). There I spent more time (it is bigger than the first one) and it was delightful 🙂 I bought an oven tray in excellent condition for only 2.99 bucks (what a steal – it is hard to find that type of trays here). I will bake many sourdough loafs in it 🙂 I also bought a wooden tray to put my spice jars in on my counter. It fit like a charm and no more bits of spice on my counter that prompts me to wipe it regularly 🙂 Of course, I also found a very unusual type of pot with pink/lavender colour, which will be an excellent company for my coleus. I also bought two books, which I am enjoying reading.

My good luck continued on the way back and after waiting for only a minute my bus arrived! Today was kind of wet with snow and rain, so I could not appreciate it more. I then went to another small shop around my home and finally got a fresh batch of cumin and black pepper – I have been meaning to get them for a long time and I am glad that I have done this today.

I continued to care about only myself today and cooked myself yet another healthy meal 🙂 One of the greatest part of the holidays was that I cooked 3-4 meals and they were all healthy and nutritious. I feel like I am taking care of myself and this makes me feel extra excited.

Tomorrow I am baking two sourdough loafs – one for myself and one for a good friend of mine. She invited me over and I will be happy to see her tomorrow. I had also bought gifts for her in early December – I cannot wait to bring them to her. So, tomorrow will be a great day, too 🙂

Lets’ remember that the new year will be the year of Ease, Comfort, and Appreciation.

Happy Saturday everyone!

 

 

joy journal – September 10, 2017

It has been a long time that I wrote in this journal. I miss it almost everyday but it is hard to find time to put the words out. Today I am taking my time as I made a conscious choice of being grateful and, as a result feeling good.

Not all days and moments are joyful, or without any problem or hurt that bothers us. But we/I could find some time to remember the things, event, experiences, and people that makes our lives better, safer, and enjoyable. This journal has served me well in this sense, I hope you too will start your own and benefit from it at least as much as I do.

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1. I am grateful for sleeping well and getting up at around 9 am. It was not too early or too late. Just right.

2. I am grateful for my morning coffee which was just right. Every once a while I get the temperature right and today was one of those times. With a little bit of sugar, it was the most enjoyable drink I have had in the last while 🙂

3. I am grateful for not getting crazy over the rain. I was planning to shop today but it rained whole day and made my plan a future plan. I do not need anything urgent, but shopping would be very therapeutic and help me with feeling good and excited. Ah, shopping…. 🙂

4. I am grateful for baking a sourdough loaf today. I run out of the bread in my freezer and I was so craving for fresh bread 🙂 

5. I am grateful for speaking with my family today and for their well being, health, and happiness.

6. I am grateful for working today. I worked around 3 hours reviewing a report and drafting a report about it. I still have work to do on it, but I started and this is good. I must finish my report in two weeks and I have ample time now that I progressed quite a bit today.

7. I am grateful for being assertive with a dominant and bossy collaborator of mine. He changes things or involves more people in without consulting me on matters directly related to me. I swallowed a few incident like that in the last one month and today he did it again and I said it is time that we talked. I asked him to call me, which he did and we talked. He admits that I am a control freak (who did not know this?) and he was too negligent of others’ opinions and priorities. We talked like two mature individuals with understanding and without yelling or getting mean, which was nice. I am not naive enough to think that this talk has solved the problem for ever; no, as long as I work with him, we will come to the same point again and again. But I am happy that I talked without fearing negative consequences (I actually need him for a project of mine), and formed a more respectful bond between us. This is good enough for now and we can always talk in the future should it be required.

8. I m grateful for the kale meal I have cooked yesterday. At one point in the afternoon I took a supplement that upset my stomach. I ate the meal and it was okay after that. Should I not have the meal ready, I think I would suffer longer while trying to cook something new. Long live kale! 🙂

9. I am grateful for my windows being open and having fresh air in. I love this about summer and fall. One of my treasured activities at home. I feel so lucky 🙂

10. I am grateful for listening to a relaxing music that is great for my fried nerves…. Many years ago I used to try to mediate listening to this kind of music. Seeing the bigger picture in life and feeling safe and well in it in the moment are priceless. I should try sitting meditation someday again, but honestly it is the most boring thing for me (I know many people can do it – hats off!!).

11. I am grateful for stepping out for a short time and purchasing yogurt. I love yogurt!! I can eat an entire tub on a single day; it is creamy and healthy. I should make better choices and opt for low fat variety next time. My doctor informed me that my bad cholesterol is a little bit high. I am still at low risk group, but it was consistently increasing in the last year, so I must be careful with it.

12. I am grateful for realizing my needs and short-comings. I  just had a birthday in the last few weeks. Between the trip to Rome and the busy and stressful work schedule, I could not reflect on my new age except in a few short moments….. I have been looking forward to a quiet time to actually reflect and figure out how I feel about my age and aging, what changes I must introduce in my life, and how content I was with everything else. But this is not happening yet, and I feel annoyed by this… I know that I am changing as a middle aged individual. I know my dreams and plans are changing. I know my days are getting shorter and shorter and so are the days of my loved ones. My chronic disease and death probability is also increasing with each passing moment. These demand significant changes in my attitude, my life-style, and the way I look at life and my priorities. I know my health and my family’s health are the most important thing, but ask me how I contribute to either of this and the answer will be very lame. I am so focused on turning work around and dealing with antsy bitsy issues that I cannot find time to think big or be positive. What a shame…. I am rationally aware of what I must do, yet still cannot or do not take the steps to better my life and spend more time with and cherish my family…. It takes one step to start this journey… I wish that I can start it right now… I may or may not, but at least I am aware of my need and wish and who knows, maybe I will take that step sometime soon.

13. I am grateful for having the day to myself. I plan to watch TV after this and enjoy my time.

14. I am grateful for the cat of my neighbour’s who spends time in my yard a lot. It is a beautiful black and young female cat that keeps hunting and surveilling the yard for pests and moth. She killed a little rat a couple of weeks ago in my yard, which was a scary sight at first. But I am so grateful for this mouser that keeps my yard free of pests. She and I do not interact much except that we both look at each other whenever both of us exist in the yard at the same time. I respect her presence and she respects mine. We are a good team 🙂

15. I am grateful for the food in my fridge and pantry; all the clothes, shoes, furniture, and everything else in my home. They make my life easy and comfortable. 

16. I am grateful for making a conscious effort to have a healthier lifestyle as of today. The last 2 months have been crazy stressful and I lacked the time, energy, and willpower to pay attention to my own health and well being. I almost left home today for a convenience store trip to get junk food, but stopped at the last minute and I am very happy about this.

17. I am grateful for being grateful and finding time to note these here today 🙂

random thoughts

I cannot believe we have reached to the end of February!

This year has been passing quite fast. It is hard for me to believe that it has been two months since the holidays when I had 2 weeks off.. Wow! Two months…. It feels like yesterday!

The nice thing is that the three months of our winter has passed. The Spring will be here in May – that feels good 🙂

We will also have the daylight saving times reversed sometime in March – that means we are looking for lighter and brighter days ahead. That also feels good 🙂

This winter has been harsh here in Canada, my friends. We have had a lot of snow days 🙂 It has also been interesting: for the first time in my life here (around 8-9 years), I have walked in the morning to the office from home in winter. I think I have done that in January first and, now, whenever I can, I am aiming to do so (like today)…

What a sense of freedom it gives me and what a great way to relax my mind and work my body. I am awed that I am not afraid of ice or falling this winter (which was the reason that stopped me from walking in winter at the first place).. Change is always possible I guess….

That experience also tells me to question our assumptions and decisions, even though they are comfortable. Perhaps they can be re-assessed and reversed, and the new normal would turn out to be exciting as my winter walking adventure 🙂

Nowadays I particularly feel like walking. I blame partly boredom and partly the fact that I get up early, and as such, end up with having lots of time at my hand 🙂 I walked last Saturday and Sunday around 2 hours each day. And I am planning to walk similarly this weekend. I hope I can make this. My plan is to walk to the shopping mall on Saturday, just to grab a couple of tubes of yogurt 🙂 Let’s see whether the weather will be permissive (if it is raining or heavily snowing, I will not certainly do this 🙂 ) 

Since I walked this morning and did not take the bus, today was also a day that I spent nothing! 🙂

Is that not awesome 🙂

I never thought that that would be possible, but now I can see that I was not thinking careful enough – it certainly is possible. Anyone can do this “no spending days”. Give it a try, my friends, and let us know how you feel. It certainly feels weird and sweet at the same time 🙂 🙂 

Europeana GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

gif by:http://giphy.com/gifs/europeana-winter-Q3cJvgxtBUtqg

 

joy journal – Oct 15, 2016

When was the last time I wrote my joy journal? Honestly I can not remember.. I believe it must be at least 3 weeks ago or so; first the work had gone crazy for a couple of weeks and then I was away for a trip to Europe. I am assuming I did not write during these times..

yet today I am joyful and cannot wait to write 🙂

1. I am grateful for getting up before 9 am! I never thought I would be grateful for this. It is partly because I have a little jet lag since my return from Europe and it makes me get up earlier than my usual 9 – 9.30 am routine. i note that there is something peaceful about mornings…. This is very surprising for this night owl 🙂

2. I am grateful for the public transportation! I took the bus to a nearby shopping centre this morning. How convenient and affordable is it? Are we not lucky that we have such a service available to us?

3. I am grateful for the coffee and bagel I have had this morning at the shopping centre. Man, they felt especially delicious today. I am so lucky to have these almost everywhere and they cost me only a few bucks.

4. I am grateful for the two pairs of fluffy slippers I have got today! They will keep my feet warm in our cold Canadian winter 🙂 I am so lucky that they were on sale 🙂

5. I am grateful for having a hair cut. Finally.. It has been 4-5 months that I have been meaning to have one. The cut itself is not great or special, but my hair sure looks way better than before 🙂

6. I am grateful for shopping today 🙂 Shopping always makes me feel great and excited! I bought lots of durable food and other items that I needed. I am feeling happy, excited, and abundant in my life right now 🙂

7. I am grateful for not waiting for the bus too long on the way back and having totes and a backpack to carry my shopping items to home. I felt like my life was very functional and easy today. very rare blessing 🙂

8. I am grateful for talking with my family and sharing laughs

9. I am grateful for the green bean meal I have cooked today. I had frozen the beans after cooking them lightly with tomato (my mom’s idea). They turned out to be incredibly delicious! I would love to get 10-15 bags frozen next summer.

10. I am grateful for the sourdough that turned out to be really good today 🙂 I am genuinely excited about it and would love to replicate the recipe next week.

11. I am grateful for relaxing the entire afternoon, watching movies and reading blogs. There is something so soothing coming out of this that I am awed. I think the stress of the last 3 weeks has lifted and now I am ready to roll again

12. I am grateful for today being Saturday; I can go to bed whenever I want and I can get up whenever I want. What a freedom.

13. I am grateful for my warm house, fluffy socks, and comfy couch that make this cold autumn night easier to bear.

14. I am grateful for being safe and sound, and having a shelter, and enough food and water.

15. I am grateful for my family, my house, my job, my salary, my benefits, my furniture, my clothes and shoes, my friends, my abilities, and all the food and other items I have in my life.

16. I am grateful for having dreams that put a smile on my face.

17. I am grateful for being grateful and having the excitement to write this journal.

 

random thoughts

I have been working so hard and under so much pressure lately that for the first time or so in my life I am glad I must clean my home and do laundry today. It is weird, but true. I enjoy sitting in my living room right now and listening to the dryer’s noise and not thinking about the work I must take care of. I think I will let it sink back to me tomorrow. That is okay. At least I am giving myself the freedom to enjoy today….

I woke up tired and late but felt better with coffee (also ordered bagels this time – pampering feels good 🙂 ) and walking to a store 15 min away to shop. There were really good sales for items I had needed, so I took this opportunity and certainly it felt good. I even saved an additional 2 bucks by using a coupon that came with the insert last week.

I was thinking; while saving and limiting my daily expenses feels so good, why do I not have a stricker budget? I know for example I did take the cab three times this week; each costing around 10 bucks per ride. When I think about it, this actually is the cost of 15 kgs of bread flour (which would give me around 40-45 loafs of bread).

So, what am I doing wrong here?

Since my summer vacation, I have been relax in terms of spending. I am not spending a lot, but I sure am spending more than before and often on unnecessary items. I have been feeling the conflict created by saving by following sales and at the same time by making unnecessary purchases. While it is annoying for sure, I am also glad that I believe eventually this feeling will help me to cut expenses and have a lean budget again.

I really am looking forward to this.

Now back to the dryer and cleaning -my relaxants of the day 🙂

joy journal – September 2, 2016

I have had a kind of disappointing day. That means, I particularly need to write to my joy journal! 🙂

1. I am grateful for walking in the morning to the office. In the past two weeks that is what I have been doing and it feels good. It helps clear my mind and is quite useful for my health.

2. I am grateful for having a relaxing day at the office till a meeting at 2 pm. A 1.5 hours long meeting in the afternoon, on a friday, and right before a long weekend is not a great idea… Considering that I am particularly edgy when I am forced to sit longer than an hour and that it was a very boring presentation mostly, I am very disappointed and somehow edgy… BUT I am ready to leave this behind and enjoy the first night of the long weekend! 🙂

3. I am grateful that it is the first long weekend of the Fall. I am very fond of long weekends – they give a chance to relax and do stuff that I could not otherwise find time to do. For example, I plan to do some deep cleaning this weekend, shop, clean the house, do laundry, cook breads, and take care of the yard all at the same time 🙂 Boy; these are all too much, especially since I also need time to relax. Thus, this three day long weekend excites me 🙂

4. I am grateful for doing the grocery in the evening. I have bought fresh produce which excites me. I hope to cook tasty meals this week 🙂

5. I am grateful for walking back to home from office. I have had a chance to help clear my mind after the disapointing afternoon meeting and relax a little bit.

6. I am grateful for my back feeling a little bit better. I have been doing my stretching exercises in the last while and they seem to have helped. In today’s session, I did not hear the “crack” that my back usually yells when I do one particular exercise. It makes me sad each time, as it tells me that there is some type of friction or calcification at my spine. I did not have this problem prior to winter when I have had two episodes of bad back issues. I want it to be gone. I am too young to have such a problem! 🙂

7. I am grateful for chilling at home all by myself. I still long for a cat to be around, but honestly I am not in the mood to be woken up by someone in the morning. Day by day, I am getting more objective about my own needs and how incompatible it is to have a dependent thing around me. Bitter but healthy truth. This being said, I also would like to foster cats for short time, possibly starting mid October or so.

8. I am grateful for the sourdough I have been struggling to form this afternoon. I have got a lovely levain today (started it yesterday), yet the dough is not a great one; it is fragmenting, too sticky one minute and top-dried up the next moment. Honestly I had given up after 3 stretch and fold attempts, and just stuck it up in the fridge, hoping that maybe in the morning I would have a dough which is workable. I just checked it out and it is actually coming along. So I gave it a quick kneading, felt how smooth it was, got excited, and left it to rise in the fridge. I hope tomorrow I will be able to share the pics of a nice sourdough loaf 🙂

9. I am grateful for the music I am listening to right now. I discovered it a couple of days ago and I am hooked. It is relaxing, meditative if you will, and very soft and gentle for the ear. I feel like my frustration accumulated today is melting slowly but steadily…

10. I am grateful for being grateful 🙂

 

 

 

 

random thoughts

Finally the week is over!

Boy.. This week has been on a roller coaster. Unproductive, long meetings and many documents to draft and submit in a short time. But we have done it!

I walked under the blue sky back to home. I shopped on the way and bought a couple of food. I have bought fruits that I have been craving since yesterday. This has been a great improvement considering my unhealthy eating habits lately.

I have no particular plan for my weekend. I think I will decide as I go. I must clean my home and do laundry tomorrow. But i wonder whether I can have my breakfast at another cafe tomorrow. A change of scenery would be nice. I may visit the bookstore as well. Who knows? perhaps I can get a nice book to read. This is always exciting.

When I think about buying new books, I remember the ones that I have. I could not finish the “A Clash of Kings” by George RR Martin, for instance. When am I going to get re-interested in this series of books, I wonder 🙂

Tonite, I am focusing on relaxing and enjoying my time. Watching a nice comedy would be nice:)

Have a great Friday night everyone!

 

 

random thoughts

A cold and snowy day!

April and Spring…Yeah right 🙂

The scenery from my office window was amazing with snow covering the trees and roofs of the houses. I must say I will miss snow. The truth is the winters here are so long that after a while it kinda becomes the “normal” weather. It is enjoyable. It is beautiful. It does not bother anymore. Spring and summer become distant realities, if not dreams…. And with June, we kind of notice the change, the warm temperatures, and maybe more than that, the awakening of the nature. Spring, after all the snow and dark days, really surprises me every year. Very interesting experience indeed…..

When I was in Toronto, winters were colder, but the sky was always blue and clear. It did make a huge positive difference in my mood. So when I moved here, more than the huge amount of snow dumped every winter, it was the lack of sunlight that bothered me. After all these years, I might have just adapted to the lack of sunlight. Or, it may be the vitamin D supplements I started to take in the last 6-7 months that makes me not requiring sunlight as before… Hard to know.

I worked long hours today, mostly at home. Until 8 pm I was busy with documents. I feel good working and taking care of stuff, especially if they are going well. Today was just one of these days. Now I will focus on relaxing my mind by watching TV shows or reading blogs. I gotta slow down my mind to go to sleep.

I noticed that in the last few years, I do not require 9 hours of sleep anymore. It is maybe more like 7 hours. I had read somewhere that as we age, we would need less sleep (since our physical activity levels would reduce over time). I do not want to believe in it as I am reacting to aging 🙂 but, no – seriously – my activity levels did not change in the last few years, so I am not sure whether it is the reason behind my reduced sleep needs. But I must say this gives me more time and an opportunity to go to sleep late. So, I cannot complain 🙂

Have a great night everyone 🙂

joy journal, April 2, 2016

1. I am grateful that I have had a relaxing night yesterday and had a good night sleep. I woke up with thoughts rushing to my mind again, which is quite annoying, but I am determined that to not ruin my life and my life choices.

2. I am grateful for taking the bus to and from the shopping mall in the morning. Always a great way to save. Considering it would cost me $16 one-way should I have taken the cab…  It is awesome that in both cases i did not have to wait longer than 5 min (waiting something/someone makes me crazy…).. Am I lucky or what? 🙂

3. I am grateful for the coffee and bagel I have had at the mall. It is the same brand of cafe that I regularly visit at the weekends. Yet, at least this time I have had the opportunity to enjoy a change in the environment.

4. I am grateful for the dollar store; I love buying the stationary items there. All bunch of colorful ones and so affordable. This time I bought 2 packs of dehydrated bread (awesome companion to soups), a cute gift bag, and several candies (all colorful, of course) for my office 🙂

5. I am grateful for having a hair cut! I finally did it and this time it is absolutely short. As I have wanted! Last time the hairdresser was hesitant (why, I should have asked to her) to shorten my hair by 2 inches – so she rather trimmed it and that was not what I wanted at all. This time I insistent and said that I wanted it short! And, short it got 🙂 This hair dresser too commented that I had healthy and thick hair, which is always great to hear. She also commented on the red colour (yes, I do have hair with bright red colour) and said that this tone would usually not suit many people, but it really was suiting my complexion. Awe… Thank you nice lady 🙂

6. I am grateful that a nice elderly lady complemented my hair while I was walking towards a store. I am not sure what prompted her to say that, but that is always a nice thing to hear. The truth is I had liked her hair more than mine, which was just a little bit longer than mine and all gray. She looked so awesome with that hair. I complemented her as well 🙂

7. I am grateful that I did not mind waiting 40 min at the hair salon to get my hair cut. Under different conditions I would hate to wait and probably leave after 5 minutes. But this time I convinced myself that today I was going to get this task done. I have been meaning to get my hair cut for a couple of weeks now and it was so hot today that it reminded me that the short hair was the best. Right on 🙂

8. I am grateful for purchasing some gifts for my family and some little indulgences for myself, all out of my fun funds that I accumulated lately. I also paid my hair cut by my fun funds. For those who are not familiar with the term fun funds; these are the money that I save from my weekly allowance to spend on items or services that help me feel good 🙂

9. I am grateful for finding my favorite yogurt on sale; $2/750 grs, which is the lowest I have seen so far. I eat a lot of yogurt. So naturally I stocked up 5 of them today. I am also excited about the peanuts and canned fish that I bought as snacks for my office and my favorite brand of hair dye, which was on sale. I am extra happy that I did not make any extra purchases – all was needed or will be needed in near future. All is well 🙂

10. I am grateful for speaking with my family and laughing quite a bit. It is great that our mood is getting lighter and happier (it has now been 5 weeks that we lost my dad..).

11. I am grateful for the warm weather, which prompted me to wear my trench-coat rather than the winter coat. Oh, the sweet lightness that I missed! Honestly, my winter coat is so heavy and whenever I switch to spring clothes, the relief I feel is more than awesome 🙂

12. I am grateful for opening the windows on both storeys of the house and letting fresh air in. Even in winter I try to do that at least every two weeks. The weather is really soft and warm, and today I let the windows open over 2 hours! Great feeling 🙂

13. I am grateful for doing my back exercises and stretches. I do them every day and every day I have to have a mental struggle to start doing them. While it is a constant struggle till I lie on my back on the floor and start stretching, after that all comes very easy and I feel overall much better than before. I also feel stronger muscles on my legs, arms, and abs (which I must strengthen, or use, to complete the exercises). I am feeling good about these 🙂

14. I am grateful for finally finishing the veggie pasta I had cooked three days ago. While it was tasty and lovely, eating the same thing for 3 consecutive days is never fun. Time for new dishes, please 🙂

15. I am grateful for doing the laundry. Did I mention that it is one these tasks that I find dreadful? But, then I do find many house chores as dreadful 🙂

16. I am grateful for having the day to myself. After the laundry is done, I will totally immerse myself in writing and reading. There is so much to learn, so many blogs and articles to read. I am certainly grateful for my computer and internet connection for making this possible.

17. I am grateful for being grateful 🙂

breaking the routine, Nov 5, 2015

I have done a couple of wonderful changes today, by the help of a business meeting in the morning away from my work place.

The meeting ended around 11 am and I walked to a nearby shopping mall. I went directly to a cafe there and got my coffee and two bagels. They were delicious and the mall had that sweet scent that reminds me the winter days and the holiday season.

I am glad I took my time to do this visit to the mall, rather than rushing back to my office after the meeting (as I usually do).

What a great opportunity to realize that life can be relaxing and awarding, I can be fine if I take time off of work, and work can still be taken care of even I am shortly away from my office:)

random thoughts

I spent the evening with a couple of friends; can not think about a better activity to wind down after this long and busy week 🙂

I still have a lot to do, but the weekend is mine. I decided I can maybe work around 1 hr tomorrow and sunday, but no more than that. Putting limits to things that make me tired or stressed helps me to handle them better psychologically.

What are my plans for the weekend (remember that I love to plan?) 🙂

As usual, going to the cafe to enjoy my morning and coffee; cleaning the house, shopping for the stain to finish staining my deck, cooking meals for myself (some nice meals I will try this time like meat-loaf; not just simple stuff), getting together with my friends, and just taking it easy.

If I can find time, I also would like to try baking some home-made granola bars 🙂

sounds like a relaxing weekend to me – wishing you the same 🙂

keep positive

One of these days that my overall energy is low.

I miss being energetic, joyful, and smiling. feeling like “I can do this”; feeling like “I have the energy to do whatever I want to do or have to do”.

Working is really good, but sometime we need to recuperate. And lately I have been working real hard; everyday in fact. If I was not physically working, then my mind was working.

I had planned to take one or two day off this week – I have new meetings scheduled for tomorrow, but I guess Thursday, I can just take it easy.

My plan for Thursday (that immediately energized me and put a smile on my face) is this:

1. sleep well; be lazy. let the body take a break.

2. have a nice breakfast; the favourite cafe is alright; the favourite breakfast as well. Then lightly work on the laptop; there have been a couple of almost finished reports, which I could not submit so far. It is a great opportunity to finish them. Since they are almost completed, it is not going to take much time or effort. Plus, since I will finish them, I will feel the satisfaction. That is good.

3. Do something different. Now, this is a great idea….. What shall I do that day different then the rest of the days? I have not been to stretching classes for some time; why do I not start it again? It always felt relaxing and beneficial. I think that is a great idea!

4. Most importantly, I will be grateful that I will be away from the office. I like my office, but sometime it is miserable. The more people who are miserable are around, the less is the positive energy around. I will keep myself away from that chaos.

Keeping positive 🙂

joy journal – Dec 9, 2014

I am grateful for many things today;

1. I am grateful for being well and sound, without sickness or ailment, with no dependency.

2. I am grateful for not working too much today; it was a relaxing day.

3. I am grateful for helping my assistant go home after she fell sick.

4. I am grateful for another assistant of mine giving a ride to the sick one – the collegiality in my work place is really awesome. I am happy to have their well-being at the highest priority and ensuring that they will feel cared and fine. I hope that is also being a good role model for them and maybe in their future work places, they will continue with such acts of care and kindness towards their peers; I hope helping others will be their normal.

5. I am grateful for organizing and reporting my activities to a virtual group of people on a common project, rather than getting upset. It was a good idea to email all parties rather than responding to each one with their sometime overlapping and repeating questions/request (which drew me crazy). I hope that will work out for them so that we all can save some time and nerves.

6. I am grateful for walking today; after work, I walked around half an hour. That is good for my health.

7. I am grateful for eating nourishing, warm and tasty food today. They help me feel good about myself and my life style.

8. I am grateful for weather – it was less chilly today and quite a bright day. I like sun and blue sky. There are so many nice feelings driven by them. Hope, joy, happiness, optimisim..

9. I am grateful for my boots – they are new and are very comfortable. They did not hurt the back of my feet, they fit just fine, and they are water proof. Once I verify that they are skid-resistant as well, I will be relieved, happy, and grateful again.

10. I am grateful for some work completed at my place this morning. I thought I would get more work done, but I think I will leave it here. I can take care of others next year. It is a lot of money that I have to pay, some of the work on the roof may not have been done as they promised, but I have no way to verify. I will not get crazy about this. Rather, I will be grateful for these people coming over and fixing stuff to help protect my house.

11. I am grateful for my positive attitude today.

12. I am grateful for the cab driver in the morning – she and I laughed quite a bit over the weather and the road constructions that have been going on in the neighbourhood for quite some time.

13. I am grateful for the soup one of my friend’s mom prepared. It is tasty and nourishing. I could not think about something else that could make my evening warmer.

14. I am grateful for giving a gift to one my assistants recognizing, acknowledging, and appreciating the volunteer activity he has done over the year. The gift was something little, but I am sure he was surprised and got happy. That also made me recognize that my other assistants would also like to receive something to recognize their efforts. I made a mental note of getting gifts for the rest. Right before the holidays when I take them out at a lunch, I can present theirs. That is a great idea.

15. I am grateful for only two weeks being left till the holidays and the time I will take off until after the new year. I am feeling this excitement seriously at a very deep level. We all need a break.

16. I am grateful for the night still being young. There is so much I can do, relax and enjoy in the rest of the night.

17. I am grateful that I do not have to get up early tomorrow.  There is freedom in this.

18. I am grateful that we had a good laugh with my team this morning – I was showing them the prize I got yesterday for the worst performance at a friendly competition. It is a stick with a little hand at the end. And there is a button that when pressed lights up one of the fingers. It will be fun to use it at presentations.

19. I am grateful for the animation movie on TV – the narrator has a smooth voice, which makes it very easy to listen to.

20. I am grateful for being grateful; writing these things here makes my evenings exciting, joyful, and relaxing.

crush of the day

Shamelessly, I am crushed with myself today 🙂

Why would I not? I have had a relaxing day, I am motivated to finish work before the holidays, I have slightly elevated self-confidence, I am really looking forward to end the lagging life discussions/relationships, and am ready to meet with new life experiences! May they turn out to be joyful and positive ones. For everyone.

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