a little bit of self-tolerance is awesome

I was not feeling great the whole day as I am, as usual, behind some of the tasks that I have assigned to myself at the first place. All work related of course. The main idea was that I would do these so that I could feel completely free to take a rest during the holidays. I have 3 more days but I am assuming some will lag and I will take care of them during the holidays. Felt exhausted the whole day as a result….

So what?

Not the first time that I had a hard day or not the first time that I will work during the holidays.

So with this, just an hour ago or so, I am relaxed a little bit and feeling better.

I like the fact that I really want to take a break during the holidays. I know that it will energize me and I will once again feel ready for the next 6 months. So, I will take this  and let it sink.

I will rest and I will take a break during the holidays. Period.

One thing I really would like to do during the holidays is doing something for my own enjoyment only. Not a chore (like cleaning or decluttering), but for my own enjoyment.

I decided that reading a novel or two would just fit this well. I am excited!

Another thing I would love to do is buying some aromatic stuff. I have had an essential oil that has been lightening my senses for some time. I think it is time that I get a couple of more, and enjoy.

Third would be getting rid of some of the things that have been bothering me. So, 20 min ago I decided to give up junk food, which has been not only sinking my purse but also elevating my internal criticism. I am not sure how well I will keep this plan, but feeling in control is great and uplifting. I want to hang onto this feeling.

Fourth thing would be paying more attention to my body’s needs and eating much better, for goodness’ sake. My diet has been very “junky” for some time. This week my grocery shopping will be focused on treating my body well. I am thinking different fruits (e.g. anything other than citrus and apple that I regularly consume) and drinking more tea. The good thing is that since last week I have been drinking tea at the office, for which I must congratulate myself.

Fifth – gifting myself. Thinking about all the money I will save by not eating junky stuff, it is time to make plans to get new stuff. Today I bought myself two fluffy socks, which I have been meaning to get for a year or so. That is great 🙂 I know one of my friends is getting me a plant as a gift, for which I cannot even wait 🙂 A new excitement 🙂 Together with the aroma therapy items, these three are the minimum gifts I will give to myself.

How will you gift yourself in these last days of the year?

the 2nd snow day in a row

Wow! We have had today as the snow day as well!

This is the first time I have seen two snow days back to back.

Man, the old man winter this year is sure quite energetic. Or furious.

If I were a student, I for sure would be happy and excited about these snow days. Yet, I was rather bored being at home yesterday and today. I am sure I am not the only one who felt that way – I know because I have seen a couple of people on social media expressing similar feelings.

One can ask why we cannot even enjoy two extra days as paid holidays

Sadly, I have no answer to that…..

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Now back to my lovely hibiscus – rose hip tea with lemon juice and honey. Keep warm and enjoy your evening everyone! 🙂

Snow GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

acknowledgement: gifby:http://giphy.com/gifs/snow-siMYarzDqIBMI

a beautiful day

What a beautiful, quiet, peaceful, and lovely day that I am passing with doing nothing in particular. Just watching a movie, browsing the net and the news, and drinking tea..

I hope you all are feeling refreshed and hopeful on this first day of the year 2016.

I hope you are surrounded by lovely people or their memories right now. Have a laugh, make a joke, relax those shoulders, relax that jaw. I hope today you will plan to do nothing particular but just be.

I hope today you have found in yourself the energy and encouragement to try that new dish, that new dress/tie, that new activity/hobby.

I hope you feel adventurous and free; free of fears and unnecessary negative feelings, and free to let go or accept whatever that is taking too much of your time and energy to fix or eliminate from your life.

I hope you too are feeling that there is something awesome about just sitting and sipping a nice cup of tea/coffee, without lurking into the troubles or things ahead, but enjoying this one minute as it is. At this moment, there is no past or future troubles for me. At this moment, we all are safe. This moment is pure, peaceful, and lovely. This, and the next, and then the one after that..

I know from my own experience that letting ourselves to just tune in with the moment, just listening to the moment does and and cannot happen all the time; after all, we all have daily life activities and work to do.

But today I will take this opportunity to enjoy it. While I am at it.

🙂

 

 

 

random thoughts

I feel like writing about small indulges that make me feel pampered 🙂

Considering that the only expenses bigger than $1,000 were my washer and dryer (excluding my flights to visit my family and my house), I guess I am doing good pampering myself while also looking after my funds.

So here is a list that I can come up with now:

1. Having breakfast: I love having breakfast at the weekends! there is something nourishing about it and the fact that I get to have it on the weekends only, it is my way of start celebrating the weekend. Breakfast does not need to be too expensive (though it  depends on your preferences. Nevertheless, breakfast and lunch are often times much cheaper than dinners).

2. A good book that captivates my interest. There is nothing like a great book that makes your day enjoyable, time frozen, and mind and heart filled with new knowledge, emotions, and empathy. 90% of my books are purchased from second hand bookstores or charity. The only book I have had pricey was a project management book I needed to study as part of a certificate program (time to sell it now). Borrowing books from libraries, of course, does not cost a dime – give it a try.

3. Chicken noodle soup: is there any other food that nourishes the body while also relaxes the mind? What is the cost of this? $3?

4. Taking photos: that is a really fun activity. Other than the cost of the camera and print outs, the cost of all the memories and lovely pictures recorded is basically $0. Plus, can we really put a price on recording memories?

5. A good cup of coffee every once a while. I love caramel or maple syrup added coffee every once a while. There is a cafe that do these in a shopping mall I go time to time. A great way to award myself.

6. Food: food is always a tricky material for indulges. I happen to reward myself a lot by food, especially pastries and bread (though I am trying to limit them lately). My new year eve meal is almost always some pastry I make at home with beef and pastry sheets. Even though I love this meal, I am glad that I do not bake it more than twice a year.

7. Movies: Although I have not done this in years, seeing a movie at a theater is a lovely experience.

8. Tea, apple cider, and hot chocolate: whether black, green, or herbal, tea has a calming effect. On cold winter days, in addition to tea, hot chocolate and apple cider are my favorite beverages.

9. Leisure walking: Although I do not do this as often as I wish to; when I do, I enjoy it very much. Especially those that occur spontaneously where I do not before hand plan for the route, take my time to enjoy and examine the scenery (even looking at different houses and their characteristics can be an interesting activity).

10. Going through the stores at the airport: One of my favorite activities! I love looking at the merchandise and the variety of items. This is particularly nice when the airport is in a different country. As you can guess, the books sold are the ones that get my most attention. but hey, they are great 🙂

11. Browsing the stores: I have a negligible habit of impulse buying thus I am not afraid of going thru an entire store, examining and exploring the items. It is one of the meditative experiences for me when I truly focus and thus get a mental break from daily thoughts and tiredness. Thanks to this activity, I have discovered many different food (e.g. savory I am so fond of) that were not a part of my regular diet.

12. Taking a road trip: I love it when we drive on a car together with friends or family. Have you noticed that the conversations are different, lovelier during road trips? Especially when we all are going to places that we have not explored before. Whenever I have a chance to suggest an activity, i suggest a road trip 🙂

13. Music: Music is… awesome! I listen to it while at home and office. The free music channels and youtube makes it basically free. Could not be happier 🙂

14. Writing my blog and reading other blogs: Very amusing, relaxing, informative, and affordable activity. Okay I need a computer and an internet connection to do so, but these two help with so many activities (listening to music, watching videos, doing research, learning, booking flights and hotels, etc.) that their cost comes really low. Plus writing helped me to learn a lot about myself – how about that as a great benefit?

15. Planning, planning, planning: I have a thing for planning for goals I would like to tackle. Coming up with a question and then designing a step-by-step strategy to reach the goal is always exciting for me. Yep I do mess up with executing the plans sometime (my recent healthy life-style plan that I blew is a good example), but eventually all go well.

16. Sleeping in: every once a while there comes a weekend morning that makes me sleep till noon. This does not happen to much, but I believe it happens when my body needs it. Often times, it is relaxing.

17. Sleeping late: there is something peaceful about late-nights, some kind of freedom… Friday and Saturday nights are my freedom nights when I can stay up till late, reading, writing, or watching TV. Serenity..

18. Spending time in my yard: I have a small yard with a couple of trees; lilacs are particularly my favorites. Seeing them in summer is a beautiful feeling. The same thing with just being in the yard and listening to the sound of trees – the soothing whoosh their leaves make with wind…..

19. Scents: I love my perfume but due to scent-free policy of my workplace, I only wear it at the weekends. Its scent is so lovable I am glad they produced it! The same thing with candles and soaps. I have a soap that leaves a nice scent after each hand-wash. I would not change it at all. When comes to candles, I did not buy lately but I make sure to check them at the stores. One of my favorite one has honey-cinnamon scent.

20. Wearing my best shoes: I am a person of habit, so I keep wear the same things weeks after weeks. Yet, every once a while wearing a different outfit or my favorite shoes makes a difference in my mood 🙂

21. Grocery shopping: I love grocery shopping. Finding fresh produce is a rare and often cheerful activity for me (where I live, fresh produces are hard to find).

22. Shopping after the holidays: this is the season for shopping!. The sales right after the Christmas are unprecedented. Boy, do I stock up? 🙂

23. Thrifty store visits: Even though I often end up not buying as much as I plan to, I love browsing through the shelves in thrifty stores, especially the kitchen items and the books. A good book I certainly will buy. The kitchen items are mostly an interest; to see all the old stuff… I have a thing for old things. They are different and very interesting for me.

24. Ethnic stores: There are so many different things in these stores that I make regular trip to one close to my house. It is a little food store where I can find the most interesting spices, hot sauces, and dried food. Plus, that store is incredibly cheap. I wonder why that is.

25. Soft facial towels: These are priceless; there is nothing nicer at the end of a busy day to come home, wash my hands and face, and feel the soft towel on my skin. I would highly recommend you to get a thick, slushy towels that is a delight to use.

26. Creams and moisturizers: my hands require hand cream throughout the day. In winter, it is almost essential to moisturize the rest of the body. I am grateful for these creams and lotions that not only nourish my body but also smell good 🙂

27. Time spent with family and friends: Do I have to talk about it? It is the favorite activity of many people. Are we not lucky?

I hope your list of things that make you feel pampered is longer than this.

Go pamper yourself in this beautiful Saturday! 🙂

assessing the progress re; challenges I assigned to myself

Did I tell you earlier that I love to plan?

Maybe not, but that is the plain truth.

Planning and assessing the progress. Slight changes and modifications to the plan if required. Learning along the way, and hopefully also having fun.

I have had a number of challenges I have had assigned to myself a while ago. It is time to review them, adjust if required, celebrate the challenges tackled, and plan for the next items on the list.

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challenge 1: take the bus (not the cab). DONE! – hopefully I will not give up 🙂

challenge 2: eat better and healthy – cut out the carbs and consume more veggies and fruits. Well, missed that one big time.. NEED A PLAN.

PLAN: have regular breakfast, eat more protein, eat more veggies, cut out the bread (one bag/week) and fried eggs, cut out late-night eating, eat more apples and pears. cook at home; make it fun, and monitor the progress.

challenge 3: walk an extra 30 min at the weekends. NEED A PLAN.

PLAN: have the breakfast at another cafe 15 min away from home. Have leisure walks.

challenge 4: do not buy books for two months. I did pretty good with this, with only occasional buys. I have a new two-months freeze in place. DONE! 🙂 Good job! 🙂

challenge 5: cut out the bagel breakfast- one bagel/breakfast. Could not do that yet. NEED A PLAN – maybe withing “better eating” plan.

PLAN: Overall, I should be skipping the bagels as part of the healthy eating plan… Ouch!

challenge 6: do grocery shopping as required and buy small amounts. Going well. DONE! 🙂 

challenge 7: start listening to music and relaxing 20 min a day; this is done easily now thanks to my computer and youtube/internet sources. DONE! 🙂 

challenge 8: drink at least one cup of tea a day. I easily and lovingly do this during the week. DONE! 🙂 

challenge 9: get up in the morning and smile to yourself and hum a song. well, remembered to do only a few times. NEED MOTIVATION AGAIN.

PLAN: just remember this challenge; the rest will come 🙂

challenge 10: look outside the window at the office three times a day – enjoy the view and relax. Going well. DONE! 🙂 

challenge 11: record the progress in these areas in breaking the routine or joy journal categories. Not necessarily in these pages, but I kept posting them somewhere in this blog, good job 🙂 Going well. DONE! 🙂 

challenge 12: increase the contribution made to the RRSP account. Nope. This is not happening. This gotta wait until my chequeing account moves to a positive balance. NEED ADJUSTMENT.

ADJUSTMENT: wait till I accumulate some funds or till I cut  my weekly budget in a sensible way.

challenge 13: during the day remember to smile.  NEED MOTIVATION AGAIN.

PLAN:  just remember this challenge; the rest will come 🙂

challenge 14: lose 15 pounds in two months – record weight and food consumed every day. Missed big time! NEED A PLAN – possibly within the healthy eating plan.

PLAN: See above; challenges 2,3, and 5

challenge 15: stick to the plans – I have done these before and I can do it again. Hmmm. Some success here and there. NEED A STRONGER IMPLEMENTATION.

PLAN: remember the success in other challenges; particularly taking the bus. You can do it!!

challenge 16: comb the hair everyday. I do not need that anymore – have the hair cut short. Yay! NOT APPLICABLE.

challenge 17: spare 5 min every day to breathe – just to breathe. Well, this does not make sense anymore, now that I am listening to music for many hours a day and thus relaxing. NOT APPLICABLE

challenge 18: apply sunscreen every morning. NOT DONE…NOT APPLICABLE ANYMORE (summer is gone)

challenge 19: apply moisturiser every night. NEED MOTIVATION AGAIN.

PLAN:  just remember this challenge; the rest will come 🙂

challenge 20: every week, eat two different food from last week – whether veggies or fruits or others. Change the brands or types of canned food or others I regularly consume.NEED MOTIVATION AGAIN.

PLAN:  just remember this challenge; the rest will come 🙂

challenge 21: take the stairs at the office (2 storeys) at least twice a week. NEED MOTIVATION AGAIN.

PLAN:  just remember this challenge; the rest will come 🙂

challenge 22: write the joy journal every day; no matter how dry or repeating it may feel.  I do not write it every day – NEED ADJUSTMENT.

ADJUSTMENT: I am adjusting this to “write the joy journal at least twice a week”

challenge 23 (previously not listed): have a budget, write down all expenses in each category, do not over-spend the weekly allowance, save as much as you can. DONE!  I am certainly spending less than before and more consciously. Yay! 🙂

challenge 24 (previously not listed): continue to declutter the home and donate the usable items.

—————————————————————————————

Some big, some small steps.. Let’s see how it will go this time. The ones that I will vent about in the coming weeks (just like my past ventings while struggling with taking the bus) will be the most important ones. I am predicting they will be about healthy eating and losing weight 🙂

Cheers everyone 🙂

random thoughts

Another interesting day in terms of the weather; it has been grey till an hour ago. During the day it rained, too, making the evening walk kinda challenge. Now though it is all bright and shiny!

I loved looking out of the window and seeing the nature as rain drops on it. With the rain came a little wind, moving the tree branches in a beautiful dance. I have taken my time to notice the tallest tree ahead and from where I stood, it looked like that tree has been there for some time. It is amazing to realize that some life forms have a much longer history on earth than us. I wish the trees could talk to us; we could learn so much 🙂

I have a thing for trees; I love them, their leaves, their cycle of life during the different seasons, their barks, the way they bloom during spring, and the flowers should they have any. I have two lilac trees in my little yard, which are about to blossom. The lilac flowers are short-lived yet when they show up, their scent and sight are amazing. I feel blessed to have them in my yard.

In terms of the challenges I have assigned to myself a while ago; some of them I am consistent now, which is a great feeling;

I am getting way better in taking the bus :);

certainly eating better 90% of the time :);

walking everyday whenever the weather is permissive;

as part of my “spending freeze”, so far I have only bought a couple of books (in the last 6 weeks or so), but not 2-3 books/week :);

doing the grocery shopping as required and in small amounts and so far I hardly let any fresh produce rot in my fridge :);

continuing with my conscious spending plan (not perfect but it is still there);

listening to the music both at the office and the house;

I am very consistent about drinking tea at the office 🙂 (except that I noticed drinking green tea if I am hungry is not a good idea; it upsets my stomach);

I love enjoying the view from the office window and getting amazed by the nature and its awakening during Spring (yes, it is still spring here; summer does not come very easily 🙂 );

assessing and recording my progress by writing them down;

applying facial moisturizer;

and wait….

I have lost weight; 8 pounds to be exact! Now…. Not sure whether it is permanent; I am still eating bread and bagels, but not as much as I used to and sometimes I dine out; but generally I seem to not eat a lot before going to bed (which I think is helping me to lose weight)…

I sincerely wish that this is a continuous progress. I just cannot take it granted as like many others, in the past I have lost weight just to gain back again 🙂 So I better keep doing what I am doing!

have a great evening everyone.

joy journal – June 10, 2015

1. I am grateful for the warm day – today was the first day this year when only one jacket was enough (not two). It certainly felt like summer (finally)! Yay!

2. I am grateful for dumping the garbage for collection this morning – each time I am fascinated by the fact that so far I have not forgotten to do this 🙂

3. I am grateful for the left-overs from yesterday, which made a tasty dinner this evening.

4. I am grateful for my new computer! Yes, I am. It is fast, shiny, and does not get hot or crash every hour, as the previous one did 🙂 I am very happy with it.

5. I am grateful for the internet music sites I have learnt from one of my team-members today. I used to listen to youtube, but there seems to be other amazing sites. I find these sites refreshing and very useful. songza.com is one of these sites in case you are interested in. I am also amazed by the fact that I never thought about looking for sites other than youtube – was I limiting myself? Why did I not explore? The lesson I am getting out of this is there are numerous opportunities out there should I decide to look for. This concept can be translated to other aspects of my life. Wow! Love this 🙂

6. I am grateful for one of my team-member who enthusiastically work and generate very exciting data. Once needs to recognize and acknowledge the excellent team-players. They do not come very often, but if you see one, please try to keep them. One good team-member can do 10x better than 10 lousy team-members.

7. I am grateful for the classical music I am listening right now – incredibly energetic and harmonic. Made me feel good and at the same time very excited. Cannot wait to explore all genres 🙂

8. I am grateful for the relaxing night; it is peaceful and free.

9. I am grateful for everything I possess; the food in my kitchen, refrigerator, and pantry; the clothes and shoes, the furniture and everything else. I am abundant, safe, and sound thanks to them. I am grateful for myself and my job for making these possible.

10. I am grateful for learning to say no. I am getting better at it.

11. I am grateful for all the books I have. Some of them I had forgotten that I have had. Thanks to my shopping freeze, now I can find all bunch of interesting books to read right at home; very exciting!

12. I am grateful for working well and taking care of stuff. I have progressed quite a bit with the report I am working on. I have checked the majority of the data and so far we are good. I still have some stuff to do, but I have a great momentum and that will help me to move it way forward.

13. I am grateful for my new categorized budget and my awareness and enthusiasm to keep my expenses low.

14. I am grateful for keeping up with the challenges I have assigned myself a while ago: I cannot say I am routinely doing all of these, but they are in my list and whenever I can do any of them, I am happy to note. Today I took the busy (yay!); felt the happiness of taking the bus and congratulated myself at the office (yay!); walked in the evening; made no purchase (extra yay!); enjoyed the view out of my office window; drank chamomile tea; listening to the music (both at the office and now at home); expressed my appreciation and faith in my house and myself (that is something new; I find that it lifts my negative mood a little bit about my house and the repairs it needs).

random thoughts

the last three days feels like fall – it is grey and the temperature is less than 14C. I am having a hard time reminding myself this is June 🙂 It is great that I am going for a long trip to a sunny place soon; I am sure my body will appreciate the warmth and sunlight.

I am feeling bored nowadays as I have not worked well in the last few weeks – the good weather certainly distracted me and led me to leave my office earlier than usual to enjoy the outdoors. Yet, my mind is now bored and the only way to cherish is to work. Those who find something great about working would understand how I am feeling right now.

As per my financial goals, I continue to shop consciously, which makes a small, but noticeable difference. And no I did not take the bus this week yet, which feels somehow awkward. Can I start doing it tomorrow?

My mood in the morning is not great – I think this is one of the reasons for me to take the cab. I do not want to strain myself further by waiting and taking the bus. The cab takes me from the front of my house and leaves me at the door of my work place. So convenient. And convenience feels good, though I miss the self-appreciating feeling when I do take the bus. Tomorrow is another day. I can re-visit this then.

I keep eating fruits (apples and oranges mostly), drinking tea once a day, eating healthy as much as I can. At least this part of my life is going more or less as I wish it to be.

On a final note, I have been trying some fictional stories lately and poems earlier. I find I cannot keep working on them for extended periods of time – what I think about while writing is what I feel . So unless I start a comedy-centered piece, I am okay with working on them only time to time :). That also means I have developed a huge appreciation for poets and novelists.

challenges – daily progress

I am speaking too much today 🙂 this is my third post. But I gotta write this one, as it keeps me motivated and helps me make these changes in my life.

So here is the list of things I have done today to improve my life: I took the bus in the morning and surprisingly did not mind waiting 10 minutes for it; drank a cup of chamomile tea, which I usually do not like but was fine this time; looked out of the window to enjoy the nature and the surroundings at the office; walked back to home and then to the post-office at a fast pace (yay!); am motivated to walk more in the evenings and weekends; ate healthy meals and limited carbs; listened to the music at the office while working; and did not make any purchases.

I have done well today; maybe I should increase/change the challenges as time goes on. New challenges, new excitements, and new reasons to feel good 🙂

cheers everyone

random thoughts

I have done well today in terms of the challenges I have assigned to myself a while ago: I took the bus (yay!), drank a nice cup of mint tea at the office, walked in the afternoon, shopped consciously, ate an apple, looked out of the window many times to enjoy the nature and to give a break to my work-oriented mind.

The highest point of today was walking down and then up stairs (4 storeys) at the work place. One of my assistants and I were exploring the new building in terms of the safety features (such as the location of fire-extinguishers and the emergency exit). So we took the stairs down to the first floor to know how we could evacuate the building and then decided to go up to the 5th floor. We did it! I had thought I could be breathless; yes I was eventually but it was not as hard as I thought it would be. We made a mental note to try this, at least 2 storeys, every single day for our health. Is this not awesome? 🙂

joy journal – May 25, 2015

1. Another beautiful, warm spring day that fills me with energy, optimism, and love. Yes, love. Love for the season, for the sun, for the awakening of the nature, for the renewal, and for the hope all these positive changes bring. I made a mental note today that in the coming years’ March and April, I will remind myself how the Spring feels in May. The things I can do better (e.g. walk more), the things I can do differently (e.g. spending time with nature).

2. I am grateful for taking the bus in the morning – I feel like accomplishing something huge! I even printed out the bus schedule to help myself. I never complained about taking the bus so far – when I can do it I love it.

3. I am grateful for working lightly and not being stressful at all. I enjoy working my mind better than not though. So maybe I can find some problems/questions to work on. Mental exercise is awesome 🙂

4. I am grateful for leaving my office early and walking a little bit longer than usual. I love looking at the houses along the way and thinking “would I buy this house?”. Sometime the answer is yes. I like houses with bay windows and in good conditions (who would not?). I also noticed that I do not prefer houses more than two storeys and without a yard. View is also important 🙂

5. I am grateful for getting an email from a well-respected leader in our field today – she would like to visit our department and get to know our work and interests a little bit better. This is a great opportunity and I am truly honoured by her contact. Would like to do my best to form a great work relationship with her.

6. Oh by the way, I am extra grateful for my colleague who did not respond to the request of the person in (5) above, which prompter her to contact me instead. Am I not lucky that I have this chance of communicating with her? yes, I am. Certainly, somebody’s lack of action is somebody else’s good luck. Thanks a lot 🙂

7. Additionally, I am grateful for my hard work as I had emailed a proposal to a group this morning, which also includes the person in (5) above. I think the timing could not be better 🙂

8. I am grateful for the healthy food I have had today. I ate bread but the rest was all healthy food.

9. I am grateful for watching TV; I am watching a movie I kind of remember, yet I have no recollection of neither the story nor the characters 🙂

10. I am grateful for combing my hair this morning. I do not usually do that for some reason, but now that it is getting long, it is getting all tangled. I better comb it after washing.

11. I am grateful for deciding to take a better care of my skin. I use a wash clothe today to exfoliate and moisturise my face. I hope to remember to put my night cream before going to the bed. I should also start putting sunscreen on my face before I leave the house.

12. I am grateful for loving my flossers. I have been struggling to floss for many years. Right after my semi-annual dental visits, I would continue for some time but after that it would drift from my mind. The one that worked with me was a tri-liner flosser (not the string). It did the wonders with me. it is interesting how long it may take sometime to find out the best working solution for our quests… Trial of new options is a must.

13. I am grateful for keeping up with some of the challenges I assigned to myself a while ago: I took the bus; walked; drank two cups of great smelling and tasting herbal tea; looked out of the window and the yard to enjoy my surroundings; ate mostly healthy food; did not make unconscious spendings; and listened to the music at the office 🙂

14. I am grateful for being grateful, noticing my joyful moments,  doing activities that make me feel accomplishing my goals, and writing them to my joy journal.

have a great night everybody 🙂

joy journal – May 22, 2015

1. I am grateful for reading a post about gratefulness. It immediately lifted my mood 🙂

2. I am grateful for sleeping soundly and getting up easily this morning. I was energized and rested. That is, to me, a great feeling.

3. I am grateful for eating two apples today. I noticed that when I eat sliced apple, my chances of liking it is higher. No idea what causes this perception, but just to keep eating this healthy and hearty fruit, I will keep doing what works. By the way am I the only person noticing better digestion due to apple? Interesting…

4. I am grateful for shopping this afternoon. There were many fresh produce, all looking colourful and delicious. I am grateful for the vine tomato for smelling so good, the hot pepper for being so delicious, for zucchini being so plum, the canned lentils, beans, and corns being affordable and ready to consume.

5. I am grateful for walking back from the office. Today is the first day that it felt really like spring and thus I switched to my spring coat. No more winter coat! 🙂 I am so excited about this. I have so many different and nice coats/jackets that I would like to wear now. I feel abundant and i love the change 🙂

6. I am grateful for leaving my office early day and working at home. I did light work only; my next week schedule is pretty light, which excites and relaxes me.

7. I am grateful for telling to the interviewee this morning right away that I would not be interested in hiring him. I usually would like to be positive but this person was really not ready for an interview and did not have a professional attitude. Case closed. I will focus on other applicants now. Amazing how the info on the paper and the person in reality can be so different.

8. I am grateful for spending time at my yard in the morning and the evening. Just for a few minutes, just to look at the life forms in it, to see whether any of my seeds came to life. Nothing yet, but tomorrow is another day – who knows what will happen? Hope is the best remedy 🙂

9. I am grateful for getting an okay and support for an event I would like to organize within our unit. My boss is supportive and contacted admins to make sure they were okay with it. I have drafted a document to circulate to some of my colleagues who were interested in giving me a hand with it. Together we can move this idea and have a wonderful event.

10. I am grateful for three small trees in my yard. Last year they were small; this year I decided to remove them, but could not – one of them turned out to be quite difficult to get out, so I left them alone. This morning I noticed that they started to bloom and they look so healthy, so alive, so awesome! Seriously! 🙂 I have no idea which kind of trees they are but I am grateful they are in my yard and thriving in it!

11. I am grateful for the relaxing Friday night. I have two weekend days to enjoy without going to work. I can walk, I can shop, I can have breakfast, I can clean and declutter my home, and I can just relax reading and contemplating.

12. I am grateful for chatting on the phone with one of my colleagues in another city. We have known each other for more than a decade and have been collaborating about several projects. It is awesome that we can both talk seriously about the work and then have friendly conversations and laughters.

13. I am grateful for thinking about cancelling the cable and subscribing to netflix instead. Not sure whether it is possible to stream with my old TV, but a phone conversation can answer that question.

14. I am grateful for all the pens, papers, notebooks, and other stationary items I have. I love, love, love them. Buying them, seeing them, and using them. Writing and reading are so integral to my life-style anything that propels and helps them is appreciated.

15. I am grateful for being abundant, safe, sound, and healthy. I am grateful for all the furniture, items, clothes and shoes I have that make my life easy and going. I am grateful for all the cleaning products and other regularly used-up items which I have stocked up and available for use when needed.

16. I am grateful that I kept up with some of the challenges today; I drank a fabulous cup of tea at the office today; enjoyed looking at the yard and trees several times; ate relatively healthy, and walked for 30 min on a beautiful day.

17. I am grateful for being grateful and expressing it.

joy journal – May 12, 2015

1. A relatively good day; I noticed that as I work, get results, and complete stuff I feel positive. I am very grateful for my job and feeling good, thanks to it.

2. I am grateful for the beautiful day! It is still chilly but bright and shiny. The effect the sunlight makes on me is amazing. Now that I have a window at my office I believe I get exposed to it more and that has substantial positive effect on me. well done! 🙂

3. I am grateful for getting up exactly at 8.15 am (to catch the bus at 8.35 am). They say that if you tell your brain the time you would like to get up, it does work like a clock. If this is the case (e.g. not a coincidence), then I thank my brain for making this possible today.

4. I am grateful that I dragged myself to the bus stop (rather than taking the cab), waited for the bus, and arrived my work place right before 9 am. I am cautious but I do really hope that taking the bus is now becoming a habit for me. Good for the environment, good for me.

5. I am grateful that I ate an apple today at the office. It was delicious and I know it is healthy.

6. I am grateful for drinking not one but 3 cups of tea today! I really love that I keep doing it. I even offered a cup of pomegranate tea to one of my team members, who loved it too. It is great!

7. I am grateful for working really well at the office; one of my team members and I came up with a good idea and did some awesome work. My team member and I are an excellent team – we understand each other, the way we work is similar to each other, she has a keen eye thus we catch mistakes and unclear points well (very critical in our job), and has an incredible positive energy and enthusiasm. I am very lucky to have her in my team and wishing her always the best.

8. I am grateful that I walked from office to home. Healthy and relaxing!

9. I am grateful for eating a large salad and protein-based meal for dinner. I am extra grateful that I limited my intake of refined carbs today.

10. I am grateful that today I did well in terms of the challenges I assigned to myself: I got up at 8.15 am, catched the bus, ate better and limited carbs, drank at least 1 cup of tea, I (when I remembered it 🙂 ) smiled even when there was no one around, looked out of the office window to appreciate the surroundings. Not bad for now, eh? 🙂

11. I am grateful for being grateful.

cheers

joy journal – may 11, 2015

1. Not a bad day at all! I am very grateful for feeling better today compared to yesterday.

2. I am grateful for finally having had it, noticing I made myself unhappy by delaying tasks and plans, and challenging myself to take action. I know myself; I may not continue as I so far remained undetermined to take strong steps toward my wishes. But I also know that if I am pissed off enough, if my issues/tasks lagged too much and started to bother me, I can take a very strong stand. I hope that time arrived.

3. I am grateful for going to bed relatively early and waking up at the exact time I wanted to get up; 8.15 am. Why is this time important? Because if I get up at that time, I can catch the 8.40 bus and arrive the office around 8.50 am. Perfect timing!

4. I am grateful I took the bus this morning, as part of a challenge I invited myself into. I needed to talk myself into it, I was still resistant, but I could make it. One thing is critical for me to take the cab – to get up exactly at 8.15 – 8.20 am. Anything later or earlier than that prompts me to take the cab.

5. I am grateful for enjoying the bus trip – it takes 10 min to reach my office so it is fast. Additionally, I get to see a different route.

6. I am grateful for drinking three different kinds of tea at the office; at noon and afternoon. Tea makes me feel good.

7. I am grateful for taking care of three tasks that I have been delaying for some time. When they were done it was only 10 am – I felt like I accomplished a lot and also have a lot of time to start dealing with other work.

8. I am grateful for typing the step-by-step tasks that I need to take care of at work. Printed them out and placed on my desk. As I take care of them, I highlight them. Visually I am capable of seeing them being taken care of, which generates a sense of satisfaction and confidence. It actually makes me happy 🙂

9. I am grateful for eating sensible today. No breakfast as usual, a protein snack at lunch, and then a hearty salad and bread at the dinner. Bread could be limited, but that is okay 🙂

10. I am grateful for doing grocery shopping today. I have not done this in the last 10-12 days. I did a conscious shopping – only bought what I would need in the coming few days and purchased in relatively smaller amounts. I am trying to not waste grocery and decided to buy in small amounts but frequently.

11. I am grateful for buying apples today. time to time I love eating apples, but not all the time. I also love golden delicious or mcintosh apples most. Good to have found them today.

12. I am grateful for walking from office to home. It takes around 25-30 min. Supposed to be very good for my health. Also I do not need to wait for the bus. Extra grateful 🙂

13. I am grateful for following some blogs about budgeting and saving. I can be a great saver – I have been for some time. I am inspired back to reducing my expenses by reading others’ opinion and tips. I am very happy with that. Time to start also following blogs on healthy eating and exercise, though 🙂

14. I am grateful for working really well today – the satisfaction coming out of is awesome.

15. I am grateful for being grateful.

Have a great night everybody!

joy journal – May 9, 2015

1. I am grateful for getting up early – 8 am to be exact. I found a chance to fill the day with many activities.

2. I am grateful for having breakfast at my favourite cafe – the staff changed, which makes it a little bit different. Change is good, though I would prefer the previous staff – she was really nice and kind.

3. I am grateful for getting bored at home and going to the office around 11 am. I have worked with a team member of mine, who was also at work. With time available, we have taken care of some stuff. I could not finish my own work but that is okay. I worked a little bit back at home, which made me pleased. I also printed out some documents which I can handle tomorrow.

4. I am grateful for drinking two cups of teas today at the office – I am feeling better when I drink tea 🙂

5. I am grateful for walking back from office to home. I was feeling lazy (as usual) but decided to walk anyhow. That amazes me; good job! I should integrate more walking here and there, especially at the weekends. It is relaxing, healthy, and makes me feel good.

6. I am grateful for cleaning my home – honestly I did not want to do it today (one of the reasons I went to office today). But I did it. I also opened the windows and let fresh air in. Additionally I noticed that the crack on my wall is getting worse – it is time to get a second opinion and start taking care of it before it gets way worse. Not that I feel good about it, no. I quietly wished that the crack was random, due to the warming temperatures. But no, I guess it is more like a foundation problem. Emotions around financial hardship, stress to find and arrange for a good repair company, and finding the time to deal with all of these are not joyful. But, knowing that I have nothing to do but work towards the repair at least focuses me. Focus gives me peace of mind.

7. I am grateful that I finally focused and planned my work-related tasks. Now, I have a plan. When you have a plan, an itemized and scheduled plan, it does not feel overwhelming. One step at a time. things are clear in my mind and thus I feel motivated to take the steps.

8. I am grateful that I also listed the things I have to take care in my life. I have been aware of them for a long time, with little determination but nothing too substantial. For example, my weight, my unhealthy eating habits, the need for more exercise, and reducing my expenses. I have done all of these before and I was more or less successful – especially about frugality and healthy diet+exercise. I have the expertise, I have the confidence, I just do not have the determination… I just gotta take action.

9. I am grateful for figuring out why I constantly feel the need to pamper myself. because I have too many things to deal with (work, house, and life). Since these issues are not going anywhere unless I start taking care of them, they just keep accumulate and collectively bother me. I need a plan. I need to stick to it. I will write on this later in detail – it will help me to activate the plan.

10. I am grateful for having a healthy dinner tonite.

11. I am grateful for having the night to myself – quiet, lovely, and peaceful.

12. I am grateful for getting ready for a good night sleep. I really hope that it will be a restful sleep.

13. I am grateful for tomorrow being sunday. I can go to office, I can take my time and relax at home, or I can do whatever I would like to do.

14. For some reason, I am grateful for not shopping in the last 10 days or so. Could not figure out the reason yet 🙂

random thoughts

I still feel like writing today. Yesterday it was because I was upset and trying to keep my mood up. Today it is just because.

I am feeling a little bit better today. Work helps. The more my mind works the better. I have done quite a bit of work today, but am feeling like I have not catched up with my regular work rhythm yet. Hopefully soon.

Tomorrow we have two ceremonies to officially open our new building; one in the morning and one in the afternoon. So I will not have a chance to do much work. It is okay. And next week I have one whole day, one half-day meeting to attend, which make the half of the week useless. Oh, well. Maybe at the weekend I will work, which is a great idea.

I got a support letter today that I have been waiting since monday. It is kind of important so I am happy that it arrived. It has a key role in one of the work-related issues I have. The rest will be determined by others later, which I am okay with; they have been helpful and ready to provide advise. I liked this very much.

It is raining today – what a miserable day! I decided to take the bus. I could as well walk as while waiting the bus, my coat and shoes got wet anyhow. I thought about eating out, but then decided not to. A simple dinner made it.

My team and I seem to get used to being in different offices. I go say hi twice or three times a day, which is good. They say they are hesitant to come and say hi to me. “By all means, please do that as I like to chat with you”. That is what I said. I feel isolated socially and they may feel the same thing. I do not know.

While I am away from my team a little bit, in the new building now we have a lot of people (who previously were scattered around the floors and buildings) together. That is actually awesome since we interact more and meet more easily. It has been very useful for me so far.

I started to drink tea again after I moved to my new office. I used to years ago, but had stopped after a while. I welcome this nice change. I have a variety of teas at the office and am interested in getting more this weekend.

Tea is good. New office is good. Change is good. 🙂

Better yet, I am aware of all these goodness. Awesome!

stay well every one

joy journal – April 27, 2015

A rainy, foggy, but nevertheless a precious day of my life. Here is my gratefulness list for today:

1. I am grateful for the rainy and foggy day. It has been like this since saturday. Foggy days, although are depressive on the long run, also gives a mystical sense to the city. It is actually a great time to take pictures. I imagine a street lamp illuminating in a dark with fog at the background. Almost a black-and-while photo, which may include colourful houses at the back. The whole picture would look so awesome…. I can see it in my mind clearly – and it makes me happy.

2. I am grateful for keeping up positive and continuing to deal with the issues. I am proud of myself for holding up.

3. I am grateful for today being another light-work day. I have not worked too much, but I gotta start doing this soon so that I can finish lagging work and start fresh ones. It is exciting 🙂

4. I am grateful that I am still excited about my new office 🙂 I know, I know dear reader you are probably about to puke, but it seriously it makes me happy and excited. I still tell everyone I see at the workplace what a nice office it is and how happy I am to have it, including my boss. My boss smiled and said “I heard from 3 other people how happy you were with your office”. She was happy for me. I thanked her previously but it does not hurt to thank her here again for my office, considering that there are only 4 offices with windows (one of which is mine) and we are around 30 people. My boss said the fact that in contrast to some others, I actually spend a lot of time in the office, which helped me to get the office. Thank you, thank me 🙂

5. I am grateful for walking in the afternoon, a little bit faster this time. I walked with one of my colleagues, who walks faster than me. So today’s walk was more like a cardio exercise, more healthy. Yay!

6. I am grateful for being warm tonite. It has been cold lately, but today feels allright.

7. I am grateful for all the books I have around me. I was not reading lately, but I have occasional look at them, which is always pleasing.

8. I am grateful for my team being back and fully settled in the new place. They seem allright with this change and rapidly adapting to the new environment. We had a meeting today and we slowly getting back to operating fully.

9. I am grateful for one of my favourite TV shows airing tonite. They say it is going to be one of this memorable ones – cannot wait 🙂

10. I am grateful for feeling better tonite.

11. I am grateful for flossing lately. It may be gross to mention it, but considering how healthy it is and how lazy I usually am, I am proud of myself.

12. I am grateful for my sense of humour today; with several of my colleagues today I participated shortly in a group exercise that involved coming up with creative and humorous quotes. It was hilarious and I had great time.

13. I am grateful for not eating too much today.

14. I am grateful for not being lazy and walking within and between the buildings today.

15. I am grateful for brewing my own coffee this morning. I have also drunk two cups of tea at noon. I had a variety pack of tea that turned out to be really exciting. 6 different types of teas. I loved the opportunity to choose among different tea bags and I know that in the coming days as well I have the same opportunity. Considering the health benefits of tea, I am now more than before motivated to drink tea.

my first day at my new office

Time did not fly, I was excited and happy, it was bright and shiny, I worked effectively but without straining myself, and I did not want to leave…

I was so excited and happy about the new office that I literally dragged people to show my office 🙂

I have more space and a more effective furniture that gives a sense of “big space”. I think the size of the office is not bigger than my ex-office; it just has better furniture that is all. Considering how much paperwork I dumped prior to move is also reflected as having less amount of folders and paperwork around. It is just spacious, this new office is. And I love it as it is. I hope I will be able to keep my promise and keep it uncluttered, clean, well-organized, and harmonic.

This morning I brewed my first coffee at my new office. Walking down to hall to get water (from the fountain) or to the washroom, which is now at the end of the long corridor, was not a problem. I even thought “it is great walking on this floor, little exercise, I am lucky”. The printer will be located somewhere probably not too close to me; great, another exercise opportunity for me.

At noon, I had tea at my office, which I usually would not. Tea has a calming and healthy effect on me. I am bringing more tea bags to the office tomorrow. I appreciate all of these changes.

Men will come in a couple of days to put nails on the wall for my art-work. I have two art-work so far, but I would like to get more. So, I am planning to get multiple nails here and there. It is interesting that I have had hardly any art-work at home…. Now, it looks like I am addicted, how interesting. I believe I will start hanging paintings and photos at home too (I just do not know how to find the best spot on the wall – will ask a friend to give me a hand).

Anyways, the entire floor is just settling. Some of my colleagues are scheduled to move tomorrow. I have one last heavy equipment left at my ex-place, which will be moved on Wednesday. This week all moving should be finished and we should find our ways around this large and spacious floor.

This move changes a lot of things. Our secretary has now an office right across from my office. It is nice to have her as a neighbour. One of my close collaborators is 5 meters away. My team members are scattered a little bit, but that is okay. They used to be seated within meters of me at our previous place; I think this distance is good, provides some privacy to everyone, and I can focus on my work more.

Since it is such a big floor (we have the entire floor now) and offices and the rest are partitioned well, it is also somehow quiet. Perfect place to have a quiet mind and do amazing work.

it is gonna be okay, I gotta say

I want to lie down tonite

feeling sick, as if something is coming

a bug, a tiredness, something

no tea, no soup, no nothing

is gonna make it better

just need to lie down

warm and silent

under a blanket

lights dimmed to help my eyes

rested and my body and mind

feeling contemplations

it is gonna be okay, I gotta say

holding my own head

checking my fever

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breath moving in the air

it is cold in here

I am feeling dizzy; my mind is sleepy

I stopped noticing my body a while ago

I think it was cold, my fingers, my feet, my face

I desperately had missed my blanket

the soup my mom made, tea and coffee

the clothes I have had

I was so wet; my clothes, my body, my hair

I could not do much; I remained wet

nothing mattered after a while

no cold, no worry, no loneliness

all I could see was my breath moving in the air

it was such a nice warming view

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the cold weather and appreciation

The winter shows itself today – it was -20 C with wind shield during the day and I am assuming it is less right now. Quite unusual for where I live; usually in winter the temperature would not go below 0C.

There is something nice about the cold weather, though. It made me appreciate the warmth of my home and my office. It makes me want to find ways to make insulation better at my home. I notice for example the weather strip of the back door is not large enough and the cold weather pours in through between the door and the wall. Would a nice, long, thick curtain help stop the cold air move in? Perhaps. It is worth giving it a try.

I love having my throw on my lap, too. It is the source of an effortless warmth. How about soup and tea? Warmth, warmth, more warmth 🙂 It is awesome to have all of these, a safe and sound house to stay, heating and power, clothes and throws, and the hot drinks. I am grateful for all that make the winter manageable.

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