totally random thoughts

I do not even know what I am going to write, but, hey – I have a need to write 🙂

It has been a day full of ups and kind of downs at work, but we pulled it out. The end result is okay and another work-related crisis is over. We all grew out of this experience and next time we can do better. No hurt feelings and we will continue stronger than before. This story has ended well and I am pleased with this.

I used to be a perfectionist, and I still am time to time, but nowadays I realize that I am taking it just a little bit easier. Doing the best that can be done under the circumstances is what I focus on, rather than feeling the fear or anxiety of the consequences or the self-blame ignited by the thoughts of why I failed to prevent the issues at the first place. I am just a human and as long as no harm is done, I choose to feel calm. I wish to continue to have this positive attitude in my future. All the time.

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I rather have had a short walk in the nearby hiking area this morning, but it was more than what I needed at that time. Seeing the nature around me makes me feel calmer. I have a tendency to particularly admire trees. They never fail me and always give me a sense of peace and deep, nourishing love that is oddly joyful. I have touched to the barks of a couple of young trees and I could almost sense their magnificent being. I really believe touching them is felt by them. Do they ever get bored of humans like me? 🙂 I wonder now.

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Since trees are immobilized and live so long, I am curious how they spend their days. They must be feeling the soil through their roots. There may be bugs and microorganisms that munch on their roots. Maybe they form symbiotic lives together 🙂 How do a tree next to another one behave? Do they cross their paths ever? The wind, rain, and snow should all be constant in their lives. The frequent change in these could be keeping the trees engaged and entertained. Sun possibly has a huge role in their lives, warming them. Birds would be resting on their branches and eating their fruits. Do they talk to each other? How does the song of a bird and noise of a critter, bee, mosquito, or a nearby animal make the trees feel, I wonder. Were the trees that I touched today and in the past ever wondered why I was fascinated by them so much and was drawn to them?

I may be silly in thinking and blogging these, but this writing experience tells me that there are limitless number of new experiences I may have in this life.

This is incredibly exciting!

Go claim yours now 🙂

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what the days bring, you take it

While I have had a relaxing weekend, the stress of work has already caught up with me. Since yesterday I have been running, running, running again. I can feel all the stress hormones rushing in my veins and my emotions fluctuating. I feel like emotionally unstable, and sometimes, just sometimes, I realize that I must do things differently.

When you work with others and dependent on their commitment, time, and efforts, you know that this kind of work takes more time and there are times that you need to “trust” that the other party will do their absolute best to finish the work with a level of quality required from you. You also know that this is not an optimistic expectation, because in reality a lot of things can go wrong. So, how do we get the best of the other parties? How do we involve them more, and make them do the things on time? Especially if they are your colleagues, or even worse, your superiors? 

I do not have the answer to this. If you have any opinions, please leave me a comment. I will seriously consider it.

Yevbel GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

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I continue to work mostly at home this week, even though I am back to work (i.e. not vacation time). I do not know whether this is good or bad, but it seems to be working for me. I just wished I could do better. But then, who would not?

One of my colleagues could not believe today that I took vacation time to actually work. Is that so weird? I concur that it is weird, but at least please respect my wishes – I too know to just do things out of work and enjoy my life. But with the work-related congestion I have at my hand, finishing the work is going to give me peace of mind. I am so looking forward to the mornings when I wake up feeling good about life, not stressed by the work I must do. My quality of life is important.

Carbs too.

Passover GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

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Among all of these chaotic circumstances, there has been good things as well. First of, I managed to revive my sourdough from its dried flakes. Objectively though it is questionable that whatever is growing in the starter has come from my original starter (I have been feeding it the last four days); it is quite possible that this is in fact a new culture that I captured from flour, water, or air. It is so hard to know. I want to believe, though it is the original one so that I can brag about my sourdough starter lasting for years and years…What a childish but important wish for me. Unfortunately none of us will know the truth. I wish I could do DNA test or something to figure out :)))

Another good news is that with each wash, my highlights are getting more lighter and I am capable of seeing some light patches in my hair here and there. I am still pissed about the highlights not being strong enough, but considering it has been only 5 days since I have got my hair done, I am hopeful that in two weeks or so, I may get better-looking and stronger highlights. I want to believe…..

I Want To Believe GIF - Find & Share on GIPHY

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Also, I finally chopped down the little trees shooting out of the trim of my house. Somebody told me that they can grow and start damaging the house/foundation. What!! I do not need that. I feel weird cutting little trees, one because they are little, and second, they are trees. Trees are magical and absolutely wonderful. Why do they show up where they do not belong? I made a mental note to plant one to my yard to ask forgiveness from nature.

Last, since I am not eating well during this stressful time, I seem to be losing weight. I am okay with that as long as I eat at least a vegetable and fruit at least once during the day.  However, it is strange that even planning for one of my weekly pleasures, grocery shopping, is not making me excited.

The situation, my friends, is that dire.

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cemetery visit

There is a nice cemetery somewhere like 20 min away from home. I used to walk to visit it time to time before I moved to my current home – my then-flat was very close.

It is a perfect reflection of life; there is a combination of old and young tombstones; big and little ones; single and family ones.. There is nothing nice about death, but there is such a nice feeling of knowing that it is peaceful there. And that we are still alive and have a chance to make the best out of our lives. However miserable our lives may look, we still have it and all the opportunities it can offer us.

I used to be scared of cemeteries when I was younger. After all we always visited the graves of our loved ones; family mostly, and there are so many horror stories/movies we grew up with. I visited my dad’s grave last year; I was not scared but I was immensely saddened….  His name was on a tomb. So saddening… But it was peaceful, too. He lies in a beautiful grave yard, under the branches and leaves of beautiful trees, and away from the hassle, chaos, and noise of city centre. I still remember the voice of the trees; the soothing noise their leaves make when the wind goes through them…. Trees are so magical and there is nothing more soothing than having them at cemeteries.

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When I woke up this morning, I was excited to see the bright day out and decided to walk. I bought myself a nice cup of coffee and bagels at a cafe and then I walked to that cemetery. It changed a little bit since I have been there last time. There is now a couple of sections for the ashes. There are more seating space. I sat on one of them today for a few minutes. I asked “how do I make the best out of my life?”.

I did not have an immediate answer (from my subconsciousness, certainly not from the souls lying in the cemetery – I am not superstitious). But I sure am reminded about all the opportunities I have at life. My life.

gif by:https://giphy.com/gifs/make-trees-blowing-cqacgfUaOzlPa

Spring plans

I used to have posts about the things I would like to change or implement in my life. The majority of the time they did work really well and I have implemented them in my life. I do not think I have done this for some time. So let’s roll again 🙂

1. Eat at least 10 food that I have not eaten in the last one week. I keep eating the same things over and over; apple, tomato, onion, herbs, milk, yogurt, beans, cheese, and eggs are the regularly consumed food. While they are more or less healthy, I am afraid I am missing the opportunity to benefit from other veggies/fruits/dry food. In the past whenever I recognized this, I aimed every week to purchase and eat at least 6 different things that I have not eaten within the last week. This time I would like to increase this to 10 so that I can challenge myself (always fun!).

2. Consume the pantry food that are older than a year. I know what they are; rice, bulghur, and wild rice. I am not into rice that much, but I can make an effort to consume more of it. I will get creative with the others. It will be great to use them up so that I can get fresh ones 🙂

3. Thrift shop for blouses and shirts for a renewed wardrobe this Spring :).  I want to budget 50 bucks to keep visiting the thrift stores and buy blouses and shirts. I am happy with my latest purchases and I have been meaning to renew my shirts for some time (many of them have been in use for at least one year). Change is always good and I am discovering that certain styles are fitting me well. It is exciting 🙂

4. Declutter the wardrobe. After I purchase new tops, I want to remove from my wardrobe those that I do not wish to wear; some can be modified (I hope I can make this with my sewing machine),  donate (those that are in good shape), or dump (those that are old and battered). Since this has been a wish of mine for so long, I think it will feel awesome 🙂

5. Clean the yard and plant veggies/seeds. I do not know how the previous owners managed, but the yard is uneven which requires me to fix it. Also there are broken glass bottle and plate pieces everywhere. I cleaned quite a bit in the past but this year I want to do a better job. I also want to grow herbs and other veggies. Spring is almost here, so I can be busy working at the yard the next few months.

6. Lose another 10 pounds. I managed to lose 15 pounds in Fall. I gained 5 pounds back but I am still keen about losing a little bit more of fat. I know morning walks from home to office as well as eating lots of raw veggies and not eating after 8 pm coincided with my weight loss. So I am interested in replicating these behavior and hope that I can lose another 10 pounds 🙂

7. Drink more tea and reduce coffee consumption. I increased my coffee consumption too much. This coincided with me having my weekend breakfast at home rather than at a cafe. I drink around 6 cups of coffee per day now, which does not sound good to me. I do not experience physiological problems like palpitations, but nothing of too much can be good. So from tomorrow on I will focus on drinking 3 cups of coffee per day at most. The rest of the time I can drink tea. Good plan 🙂

8. Get a new hobby or activity that I do not usually do. Whether it is a sitting meditation or hiking the trails, I do not know.  I have read somewhere about “nature bathing” or something like that. Basically it means sitting in a park or around trees, and exposing our body and mind to the natural beauty and freshness around us. I am looking forward to finding a park and doing this this summer.

9. Surprise myself :). I would like to surprise myself by doing things that I would not normally do. I believe this would help me break my routine habits, or see things differently. No idea how I could do this but having it in the list means I will revisit the idea time to time. Who knows maybe I could come up with something interesting 🙂

10. Sew. I could not focus on sewing yet……. I have the machine, notions and fabric, so all I need is a new project that will help me get excited. Ideas?

random thoughts

I feel like writing about small indulges that make me feel pampered 🙂

Considering that the only expenses bigger than $1,000 were my washer and dryer (excluding my flights to visit my family and my house), I guess I am doing good pampering myself while also looking after my funds.

So here is a list that I can come up with now:

1. Having breakfast: I love having breakfast at the weekends! there is something nourishing about it and the fact that I get to have it on the weekends only, it is my way of start celebrating the weekend. Breakfast does not need to be too expensive (though it  depends on your preferences. Nevertheless, breakfast and lunch are often times much cheaper than dinners).

2. A good book that captivates my interest. There is nothing like a great book that makes your day enjoyable, time frozen, and mind and heart filled with new knowledge, emotions, and empathy. 90% of my books are purchased from second hand bookstores or charity. The only book I have had pricey was a project management book I needed to study as part of a certificate program (time to sell it now). Borrowing books from libraries, of course, does not cost a dime – give it a try.

3. Chicken noodle soup: is there any other food that nourishes the body while also relaxes the mind? What is the cost of this? $3?

4. Taking photos: that is a really fun activity. Other than the cost of the camera and print outs, the cost of all the memories and lovely pictures recorded is basically $0. Plus, can we really put a price on recording memories?

5. A good cup of coffee every once a while. I love caramel or maple syrup added coffee every once a while. There is a cafe that do these in a shopping mall I go time to time. A great way to award myself.

6. Food: food is always a tricky material for indulges. I happen to reward myself a lot by food, especially pastries and bread (though I am trying to limit them lately). My new year eve meal is almost always some pastry I make at home with beef and pastry sheets. Even though I love this meal, I am glad that I do not bake it more than twice a year.

7. Movies: Although I have not done this in years, seeing a movie at a theater is a lovely experience.

8. Tea, apple cider, and hot chocolate: whether black, green, or herbal, tea has a calming effect. On cold winter days, in addition to tea, hot chocolate and apple cider are my favorite beverages.

9. Leisure walking: Although I do not do this as often as I wish to; when I do, I enjoy it very much. Especially those that occur spontaneously where I do not before hand plan for the route, take my time to enjoy and examine the scenery (even looking at different houses and their characteristics can be an interesting activity).

10. Going through the stores at the airport: One of my favorite activities! I love looking at the merchandise and the variety of items. This is particularly nice when the airport is in a different country. As you can guess, the books sold are the ones that get my most attention. but hey, they are great 🙂

11. Browsing the stores: I have a negligible habit of impulse buying thus I am not afraid of going thru an entire store, examining and exploring the items. It is one of the meditative experiences for me when I truly focus and thus get a mental break from daily thoughts and tiredness. Thanks to this activity, I have discovered many different food (e.g. savory I am so fond of) that were not a part of my regular diet.

12. Taking a road trip: I love it when we drive on a car together with friends or family. Have you noticed that the conversations are different, lovelier during road trips? Especially when we all are going to places that we have not explored before. Whenever I have a chance to suggest an activity, i suggest a road trip 🙂

13. Music: Music is… awesome! I listen to it while at home and office. The free music channels and youtube makes it basically free. Could not be happier 🙂

14. Writing my blog and reading other blogs: Very amusing, relaxing, informative, and affordable activity. Okay I need a computer and an internet connection to do so, but these two help with so many activities (listening to music, watching videos, doing research, learning, booking flights and hotels, etc.) that their cost comes really low. Plus writing helped me to learn a lot about myself – how about that as a great benefit?

15. Planning, planning, planning: I have a thing for planning for goals I would like to tackle. Coming up with a question and then designing a step-by-step strategy to reach the goal is always exciting for me. Yep I do mess up with executing the plans sometime (my recent healthy life-style plan that I blew is a good example), but eventually all go well.

16. Sleeping in: every once a while there comes a weekend morning that makes me sleep till noon. This does not happen to much, but I believe it happens when my body needs it. Often times, it is relaxing.

17. Sleeping late: there is something peaceful about late-nights, some kind of freedom… Friday and Saturday nights are my freedom nights when I can stay up till late, reading, writing, or watching TV. Serenity..

18. Spending time in my yard: I have a small yard with a couple of trees; lilacs are particularly my favorites. Seeing them in summer is a beautiful feeling. The same thing with just being in the yard and listening to the sound of trees – the soothing whoosh their leaves make with wind…..

19. Scents: I love my perfume but due to scent-free policy of my workplace, I only wear it at the weekends. Its scent is so lovable I am glad they produced it! The same thing with candles and soaps. I have a soap that leaves a nice scent after each hand-wash. I would not change it at all. When comes to candles, I did not buy lately but I make sure to check them at the stores. One of my favorite one has honey-cinnamon scent.

20. Wearing my best shoes: I am a person of habit, so I keep wear the same things weeks after weeks. Yet, every once a while wearing a different outfit or my favorite shoes makes a difference in my mood 🙂

21. Grocery shopping: I love grocery shopping. Finding fresh produce is a rare and often cheerful activity for me (where I live, fresh produces are hard to find).

22. Shopping after the holidays: this is the season for shopping!. The sales right after the Christmas are unprecedented. Boy, do I stock up? 🙂

23. Thrifty store visits: Even though I often end up not buying as much as I plan to, I love browsing through the shelves in thrifty stores, especially the kitchen items and the books. A good book I certainly will buy. The kitchen items are mostly an interest; to see all the old stuff… I have a thing for old things. They are different and very interesting for me.

24. Ethnic stores: There are so many different things in these stores that I make regular trip to one close to my house. It is a little food store where I can find the most interesting spices, hot sauces, and dried food. Plus, that store is incredibly cheap. I wonder why that is.

25. Soft facial towels: These are priceless; there is nothing nicer at the end of a busy day to come home, wash my hands and face, and feel the soft towel on my skin. I would highly recommend you to get a thick, slushy towels that is a delight to use.

26. Creams and moisturizers: my hands require hand cream throughout the day. In winter, it is almost essential to moisturize the rest of the body. I am grateful for these creams and lotions that not only nourish my body but also smell good 🙂

27. Time spent with family and friends: Do I have to talk about it? It is the favorite activity of many people. Are we not lucky?

I hope your list of things that make you feel pampered is longer than this.

Go pamper yourself in this beautiful Saturday! 🙂

joy journal – August 16, 2015

  1. I am grateful for getting up before 9 am. Days when I get up that early make me feel like there are so many stuff I can do within that day. I like this feeling. Often times though I have no idea how to fill the day…
  2. I am grateful for going to my favorite cafe and eating my favorite bagels and drinking coffee, while also surfing on the net. It was a delightful morning.
  3. I am grateful for doing grocery shopping this morning. I bought only a small amount of stuff, knowing that I can always visit the store should I need any items (it is 5 min away from my house). I felt abundant once I got some produce.
  4. I am grateful for yogurt. I time to time consume yogurt regularly and enjoy it highly. I had run out of it yesterday but was able to get two containers today. It is such a healthy food – I seriously think that it neutralize some of the toxins…
  5. I am grateful for eating an apple, salad and a healthy meal today.
  6. I am grateful for starting to declutter my home today. It is going well, I feel like I gotta declutter even harder, and am excited about the feeling it gives. Relief in so many different levels…
  7. I am grateful for finding items/clothes that I need while decluttering. It looks like I have forgotten what I have.. But then if they are not where I can see them, how can I remember every single item? Lessons learnt 🙂
  8. I am grateful for aerating my home today. Fresh air is awesome. It also cools down the upstairs, making sleeping easier and comfortable 🙂
  9. I am grateful for today being a sunday. I was free to do whatever I want to do and I enjoyed relaxing at home very much.
  10. I am grateful for turning the TV off. I am listening to the music rather. It is a first for me – in the last few days I was not paying much attention to the programs anyways; so why to keep it working for no reason? I am proud of myself for doing this (I always have had TV on to have a background noise – until this time; who said “never say never”? 🙂 )
  11. I am grateful for deciding to dump my VCRs and CDs as well.
  12. I am grateful for the little mat I have found today – it fit so well to is new place I am awed 🙂
  13. I am grateful for the trees in my yard. When they whoosh with the wind, it is so calming.. I would not buy a house that did not have a yard or no mature trees in it.
  14. I am grateful for flossing today 🙂
  15. I am grateful for living in a quite neighborhood.
  16. I am grateful for deciding to not throw a birthday party for myself. I want to, I really do. I want to have my friends around, eat, and laugh. But then the idea of shopping and cooking makes me highly hesitant. I made a deal with myself – I will not have the party but will give myself a gift. Something unique, original. something that will make me remember this beautiful age.
  17. I am grateful for all the books that I have at home but did not read. I thought about the books today extensively because I know I will purge them quite a bit too. But more than that I know that there a bunch of books that I have never read. These books excite me as I can grab any of them anytime and satisfy my need of reading without making new purchases. Very good 🙂 All I have to do is to continue my decluttering process and identify those books.
  18. I am grateful for the foods I eat, clothes I wear, furniture, laptop, internet, TV, cable I use, water I drink, and the air I breathe.
  19. I am grateful for reading a blog by a terminal cancer patient. She brings in a different vision to terminal disease; rather than resisting the idea of being terminal, she accepts it and sees the positive in every single moment. She sounds pretty sincere, refuse to be a victim of “why (i got this disease)”, and that is why I believe we need more patients like her providing their view. While I do not like cancer and deaths from cancer, if (and only if) it is inevitable having some kind of peace or acceptance around it very much lessens the “power” of cancer over us. That is what I thought after reading that post – that cancer had no power on that person. And I liked that. Very much indeed….

random thoughts

A beautiful summer day – I hope everyone is having a similar weather.

I have done something out of my routine and went to visit a nearby museum. Admission was free today and it gave me a chance to see its contents and the view from the museum. It is famous with its view as it is on a hill and in the front is the green (nature), blue (ocean), and the colorful buildings all meshed up with each other. I congratulate myself for making this trip and enjoying not only the exhibitions but also the view 🙂

I am cooking at home today: yesterday I was so tired after the yard work that I bought myself a dinner in the evening. While the diner was not bad, the meal I tried yesterday was okay (do not get me wrong; I am thankful for the meal), but not overly tasty. I said to myself “you can cook better than that”, which was interesting because a) I do not like cooking that much, and b) eating out seems less appealing right now, which helps with my recent budgeting and saving efforts. So while I could not enjoy the meal I bought yesterday, I am grateful that it helped me to make better choices about myself.

I cut out a few lilacs from the trees today; I am not into hurting nature but I would like to dry these elegant flowers, and then frame and hang at home. I have seen somewhere yesterday some art-work including dried plants hung in the bathrooms; what a great idea! I will not only enjoy framing & displaying them, but I also hope to bring them with me wherever I will be in future, in case I sell my house.

One of the things that make me attached to my home is the yard and the trees in it. If you have a yard or a pot of plant/flower, or close to a park and other places of nature, I hope you are enjoying it right now 🙂

mowing, birds, trees, and lilacs

Despite the fact that I truly do not enjoy mowing the yard, there are two great pleasures coming out of it (other than accomplishing this unpleasant yet necessary task):

1. seeing little birds coming to the yard and munching on the cut grass or whatever is now  available to them; nature feeding nature and making these lovely creatures visiting my place is amazing. I should not be taking credit for this, but giving something for the birds makes me feel grateful and excited!

2. standing underneath the trees and listening to their leaves whooshing with the little breeze, which reminds me how strong, silent, and peaceful the trees are. I should be doing this more. I sometime think that trees talk to us. Not literally of course 🙂 Trees have a very relaxing effect on me, which makes me automatically awed with the beauty and the peace around me.

And when the lilacs show up, it is extra beautiful…

random thoughts

Another interesting day in terms of the weather; it has been grey till an hour ago. During the day it rained, too, making the evening walk kinda challenge. Now though it is all bright and shiny!

I loved looking out of the window and seeing the nature as rain drops on it. With the rain came a little wind, moving the tree branches in a beautiful dance. I have taken my time to notice the tallest tree ahead and from where I stood, it looked like that tree has been there for some time. It is amazing to realize that some life forms have a much longer history on earth than us. I wish the trees could talk to us; we could learn so much 🙂

I have a thing for trees; I love them, their leaves, their cycle of life during the different seasons, their barks, the way they bloom during spring, and the flowers should they have any. I have two lilac trees in my little yard, which are about to blossom. The lilac flowers are short-lived yet when they show up, their scent and sight are amazing. I feel blessed to have them in my yard.

In terms of the challenges I have assigned to myself a while ago; some of them I am consistent now, which is a great feeling;

I am getting way better in taking the bus :);

certainly eating better 90% of the time :);

walking everyday whenever the weather is permissive;

as part of my “spending freeze”, so far I have only bought a couple of books (in the last 6 weeks or so), but not 2-3 books/week :);

doing the grocery shopping as required and in small amounts and so far I hardly let any fresh produce rot in my fridge :);

continuing with my conscious spending plan (not perfect but it is still there);

listening to the music both at the office and the house;

I am very consistent about drinking tea at the office 🙂 (except that I noticed drinking green tea if I am hungry is not a good idea; it upsets my stomach);

I love enjoying the view from the office window and getting amazed by the nature and its awakening during Spring (yes, it is still spring here; summer does not come very easily 🙂 );

assessing and recording my progress by writing them down;

applying facial moisturizer;

and wait….

I have lost weight; 8 pounds to be exact! Now…. Not sure whether it is permanent; I am still eating bread and bagels, but not as much as I used to and sometimes I dine out; but generally I seem to not eat a lot before going to bed (which I think is helping me to lose weight)…

I sincerely wish that this is a continuous progress. I just cannot take it granted as like many others, in the past I have lost weight just to gain back again 🙂 So I better keep doing what I am doing!

have a great evening everyone.

joy journal – May 24, 2015

1. A truly exciting and blissful day; it was sunny (although windy too) and energizing. I am grateful for every moment of this day.

2. I am grateful for not sleeping in late. I got up around 9 am, which is great. At first it did not feel so exciting, since the breakfast place does not open till 10am, but eventually I made it to 10 am and then the rest of the day was long and full of things to do!

3. I am grateful for the breakfast and the chats I have had with the staff. They are young bright people who are just going thru school and part-time job at the same time. It is kind of difficult; I remember my own years. but they seem to do both just well and are incredibly nice people to interact with.

4. I am grateful for shopping and getting shocked by the receipt!! It was not too much, but then it was.. I liked the fact that I reacted negatively to spending that much today. This tells me that I am really in the “conscious spending” mode and I am very happy with that. I am extra grateful that I left one item prior to checking out.

5. I am grateful for buying the glues my sister wanted for so long. I am also grateful for the shea butter hand cream I bought for myself; it smells good and feels very smooth. It was above my budget but I bought it anyways to treat myself. Conscious spending does not mean I need to constrain myself to the degree that I cannot enjoy my own money, especially for something that is good for my body.

6. I am grateful for the healthy lunch and dinner I have had today. yes I have eaten bread too (which I am trying to cut), but at least I have also eaten veggies, either raw or canned.

7. I am grateful for spending time in the yard, getting mesmerized and fascinated by the young trees, checking the seeded areas for growth, and removing some dandelion out. I could sit whole day out, breathing fresh air, listening to the trees and birds, and feeling the sun warming my bones. I am lucky I am to have a yard and I am very thankful for that.

8. I am grateful for walking twice today; first while going to the store to purchase stuff and then in the afternoon. The nice thing about nice weather is the energy and wish to be outside it gives. I could not help myself but put the shoes on and went out. walked to another grocery store maybe 10 min away. Since last year I have not been there – it is a relatively small store but the fresh produce is fantastic. I did only buy a pack of chocolate-biscuit I was craving for and enjoyed it while walking back to home.

9. I am grateful for having an upbeat, relaxing, and energizing weekend. This weekend was truly a blessing. My mood is high and I am looking forward to a productive work week ahead of me.

10. I am grateful for TV and the movies I have watched this weekend.

11. I am grateful for having the love in my heart to give to the trees, the plants, and anything else in my yard.

12. I am grateful for speaking with my family and my best friend today; their support is always useful, sincere, and strong.

13. I am grateful for deciding to take a longer route starting yesterday to walk from office to home in the afternoon. The change of scenery should feel good and it will give my body a better exercise.

14. I am grateful for all the food I have at home. My pantry and fridge has more than enough food to let me go through the week.

15. I am grateful for the blogs I have read today – I learn so much about gardening, budgeting, and crafting. Learning and curiosity are the sources of excitement 🙂

16. I am grateful for being relaxed, positive, and grateful today.

random thoughts

I cannot remember when it was the last time I had enjoyed the Spring and the warm, sunny day as much as I do this year.

It was probably last year 🙂 but anyways seriously this wonderful weather is so energizing, so, I do not know, fantastic!

As one of the challenges I assigned to myself, I wanted to walk this morning. I walked to a store 20 min away to get some stuff, to see a different route, and to give my mind a break from the routine. Although it is a windy day, I enjoyed walking faster than usual and getting some warming sensation in my body. The bear who is waking up from the hibernation state should be feeling something like this 🙂

And it was not enough; I threw myself out for an additional 20min walk in the afternoon. I enjoyed eating some chocolate covered-biscuit on the way, looking at the houses, getting sunshine on my face, and enjoying my walk overall. Amazing, amazing, amazing.

The three young trees in my yard, which surprised me with their healthy and sudden bloom lately, continue to make me fell fascinated and interestingly also loving; I love looking at them, connecting with their little branches and their little delicate leaves, and feeling excited and amazed by their presence.

One of the nice things about the wind is the whooshy sound the trees make; it is beautifully calming; all I want to do is to find a chair to place on the deck to spend more time outside. Read a book, drink a cup of tea, or just be.

joy journal – May 22, 2015

1. I am grateful for reading a post about gratefulness. It immediately lifted my mood 🙂

2. I am grateful for sleeping soundly and getting up easily this morning. I was energized and rested. That is, to me, a great feeling.

3. I am grateful for eating two apples today. I noticed that when I eat sliced apple, my chances of liking it is higher. No idea what causes this perception, but just to keep eating this healthy and hearty fruit, I will keep doing what works. By the way am I the only person noticing better digestion due to apple? Interesting…

4. I am grateful for shopping this afternoon. There were many fresh produce, all looking colourful and delicious. I am grateful for the vine tomato for smelling so good, the hot pepper for being so delicious, for zucchini being so plum, the canned lentils, beans, and corns being affordable and ready to consume.

5. I am grateful for walking back from the office. Today is the first day that it felt really like spring and thus I switched to my spring coat. No more winter coat! 🙂 I am so excited about this. I have so many different and nice coats/jackets that I would like to wear now. I feel abundant and i love the change 🙂

6. I am grateful for leaving my office early day and working at home. I did light work only; my next week schedule is pretty light, which excites and relaxes me.

7. I am grateful for telling to the interviewee this morning right away that I would not be interested in hiring him. I usually would like to be positive but this person was really not ready for an interview and did not have a professional attitude. Case closed. I will focus on other applicants now. Amazing how the info on the paper and the person in reality can be so different.

8. I am grateful for spending time at my yard in the morning and the evening. Just for a few minutes, just to look at the life forms in it, to see whether any of my seeds came to life. Nothing yet, but tomorrow is another day – who knows what will happen? Hope is the best remedy 🙂

9. I am grateful for getting an okay and support for an event I would like to organize within our unit. My boss is supportive and contacted admins to make sure they were okay with it. I have drafted a document to circulate to some of my colleagues who were interested in giving me a hand with it. Together we can move this idea and have a wonderful event.

10. I am grateful for three small trees in my yard. Last year they were small; this year I decided to remove them, but could not – one of them turned out to be quite difficult to get out, so I left them alone. This morning I noticed that they started to bloom and they look so healthy, so alive, so awesome! Seriously! 🙂 I have no idea which kind of trees they are but I am grateful they are in my yard and thriving in it!

11. I am grateful for the relaxing Friday night. I have two weekend days to enjoy without going to work. I can walk, I can shop, I can have breakfast, I can clean and declutter my home, and I can just relax reading and contemplating.

12. I am grateful for chatting on the phone with one of my colleagues in another city. We have known each other for more than a decade and have been collaborating about several projects. It is awesome that we can both talk seriously about the work and then have friendly conversations and laughters.

13. I am grateful for thinking about cancelling the cable and subscribing to netflix instead. Not sure whether it is possible to stream with my old TV, but a phone conversation can answer that question.

14. I am grateful for all the pens, papers, notebooks, and other stationary items I have. I love, love, love them. Buying them, seeing them, and using them. Writing and reading are so integral to my life-style anything that propels and helps them is appreciated.

15. I am grateful for being abundant, safe, sound, and healthy. I am grateful for all the furniture, items, clothes and shoes I have that make my life easy and going. I am grateful for all the cleaning products and other regularly used-up items which I have stocked up and available for use when needed.

16. I am grateful that I kept up with some of the challenges today; I drank a fabulous cup of tea at the office today; enjoyed looking at the yard and trees several times; ate relatively healthy, and walked for 30 min on a beautiful day.

17. I am grateful for being grateful and expressing it.

yard-work

I did some more yard work today. I do not have abig yard, only a small one with a number of young trees. Last week I had started to dig the soil to level high parts with low part (my house is on a slight hill, reflected on my yard as well). It is the at the end of the yard where this is more pronounced, but the soil is so soft that I have no trouble manipulating it.

I also started to clean it. Last year was my first summer at my place and first time dealing with a yard. Together with my lack of knowledge, usual laziness(!), and the ridiculous amount and types of debris left by the previous owners, I had not done much in the yard. This year, although I am surprised with myself that I left all the debris in my yard till now, I am also glad that I am doing it. So far I was able to get rid of some weird metal  stuff, a bent spoon, many pieces of broken glass, and old clothes! the more I dig, I am afraid the more stuff I will find 🙂

Anyways, I had seen a neighbour of mine trimming some branches of trees. While I have no intention to hurt the nature, especially trees, today I had to remove some damaged and awkward (small) branches out of two of my trees. It also helped me to clean space for my vegetable/herb/flower bed as these trees are young and thus their branches are low – now I can use that area more effectively.

And I planted seeds for herbs; parsley, mint, rosemary, and basil! I have no idea whether they will germinate and grow here, whether I have used the right place (sunny or shady) for their optimum growth, I have no idea… I admit I was somehow careless, but I am hopeful! Something will come out 🙂

Tomorrow I will continue to clean up, remove old/damaged branches from trees, and plant flowers. One of my favourites will be to plant garlic and onion! let me start with these and next year I hope I will do a much better job and have raised beds for other veggies such as lettuce and others.

One last thing; being in the nature is an amazing feeling. I stood there for a minute and admired all life forms existed in my yard and listened to the birds. I now understand better when people insist on having a house with a yard. There is something wondrous about being with the nature.

random thoughts

Woke up early today; before 9 am (it is early for me 🙂 ).

When I get up early the day becomes long; which is awesome. I find time and energy to do more stuff.

I had breakfast and then worked a couple of hours at my favourite cafe. The weather is nice today; warm and a little bit blue sky. I did some light yard work, where I planted some flowers and also started to collect old leaves and others for disposal. I enjoyed working at the yard, even though I am not used to it. Trees are still trying to recuperate from the winter, but I do see some grass coming up. At the end of this month, I expect everywhere to be green. Very nice scenery.

It is just afternoon and I only need to finish two loads of laundry before I can leave my home for shopping. It is going to be a late afternoon visit to the mall. I am okay with that. Although I enjoy spending time at home, I do not want to start relaxing too early during the day. This somehow lessens the “feel good” feeling that relaxing at home brings to me. Too much of anything is boring. That is why even though I do not need to purchase a lot of stuff, I decided it is best that I spend some time out of the house.

One can argue of course whether or not the shopping malls are the only places to pass time. I hear you. I like being at parks as well – there is one 15 minutes away from me. I have not visited it for two years or so, but I sure can do that. I like the trees, the sound of wind going thru their leaves, that “whoosh” sound they make. Peaceful that makes me.

My windows are open to let the fresh air go into my house. I love, love, love good weather 🙂

joy journal – April 14, 2015

Here are the things I am excited, happy, or content about today 🙂

1. I am grateful for walking back from office to home – 30 min of walk. It is relaxing and good for my body. Well done 🙂

2. I am grateful for working with little or no stress today. Things are moving smoothly, though I will start working heavily again sometime soon.

3. I am grateful for eating some fruits at noon when I attended a presentation.

4. I am grateful for having a warm and bright day.

5. I am grateful about breaking my routine and working at my favourite cafe this afternoon. The waitress is a nice young lady; we chat each time (usually at the weekends). I was happy to chat with her (talking about coffee and weather, what else? 🙂 ). She asked me how long I have been here and whether I got used to the weather. yes, I have gotten used to the weather, but it took me a couple of years…. 🙂

6. I am grateful that there was still bagels at the cafe so I could get them this afternoon as well. Sometimes they run out of them, as these bagels are really nice and many people consume them.

7. I am grateful for taking the evening and the night easy, browsing the net and reading. Life is good when the mind is occupied by lovely things.

8. I am grateful for my food. I have not necessarily eaten ultra healthy today, but every once a while should be okay.

9. I am grateful for switching to walking shoes. I do not think I need to wear my winter boots again. I have lovely shoes, comfortable, too, which will be awesome to walk in.

10. I am grateful for being healthy, safe, and sound.

11. I am grateful for feeling better today, compared to yesterday.

12. I am grateful for combing my hair in the morning. How come I get so lazy I have no idea. My hair is long now and I can have a nice hair cut sometime to refresh my look.

13. I am grateful for the nice and chatty cab driver in the morning. He is not one of the regular drivers that give me ride in the morning. he was nice and excited about the beautiful day. Happy people’s attitude is infectious. What other way to start a day than such positive experiences?

14. I am grateful for sitting at my couch, rather than my recliner. There is something cozy and healing about this couch… It makes me feel pampered and relaxing. That is very interesting considering that it is just a couch…. Whatever that is, I will take it. feeling good is priceless.

15. I am grateful for continuing to clean my office and boxing some stuff. I cannot wait till next wednesday to finally say goodbye to my current office and move into my new office. Bright, clean, new office with a window. New furniture and environment. feeling good :0

16. I am grateful for meeting with a nice colleague of mine today. Having a chat felt good and his work is really interesting. We hope to recruit him to our department.

17. I am grateful for not getting a negative news today.

18. I am grateful for being hopeful about the spring and the summer. I am grateful for the hope that finally I will be able to feel the breeze on my skin. I am grateful that I will be able to go to the parks and listen to the trees as the wind goes through their leaves, making that beautiful and relaxing wooosh sound. I sometimes would like to think that trees can actually know a lot… strange but that is what it is 🙂

19. I am grateful for easily feeling grateful today 🙂

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