Sunday morning musings

A quiet and rainy Sunday morning that gives a feeling of solitude and healing. 

Coffee with its unique smell and taste is also very helpful.

I usually do not enjoy rain, but sometimes it helps you to stay in and recuperate with warm drinks and slightly dark day.  Sometimes it is depressing, sometimes healing. You choose.

We are looking for a week full of rain according to the forecast. It will be too much but we will survive. Heck we survive 6 months of winter here, what is a couple of cups of rain, right? 🙂

Weather with its unpredictable and uncontrollable character is something that teaches us to accept life as it is. We often adapt it to well. Except that the hurricanes going on in the South, damages they make, and the fear they create are alarming. I wish everyone a safe evacuation or a strong shelter during these hurricanes. When I was in the USA I never have experienced an evacuation and I keep wondering whether I could ever make it as I do not drive. I kindly ask everyone who is able to do so to pick up people that are not capable of evacuating themselves.

Wishing everyone a safe and joyful Sunday! 🙂

 

joy journal – Jan 22, 2017

The first post of the year 🙂

I aim for writing this journal everyday, but sometimes it is just not convenient… Sometimes, though, I crave for it – I either feel elated and cannot wait to share how I feel, or I am down or agitated (like nowadays), which makes me want to write it so that I can immediately start feeling good 🙂

1. Whether it is written every day, or needed out of misery does no matter – the positive effect of writing the joy journal is a real thing. I am very grateful that I have this option and am exercising this option right now.

2. I am grateful for having a quiet day. It has been full of work and some stress/down time, yet I managed to calm myself down in the evening by journaling somewhere else. Facing and expressing negative feelings is okay. Often times, I beat myself for not being “perfect” enough – but then it is not true. Developing this compassion, even after an inner storm, is a blessing.

3. I am grateful for eating healthy today.

4. I am grateful for the frozen soup I have consumed today. I have 3 more containers to go. I thought I would be bored of eating these soup, but I proved myself wrong. It was delicious 🙂

5. I am grateful for today being a “no expense” day – i did not spend any money today 🙂

6. I am grateful for talking to my family and having a laughter or two 🙂

7. I am grateful for my lower back feeling good and not needing stretches. 

8. I am grateful for the movies I have watched today.

9. I am grateful for everything I have at home; my food, clothes, shoes, furniture, computer, internet and phone connections, and cable. Everything works together to make my life easy, comfortable, safe, and nourishing. Thank you everything 🙂

10. I am grateful for my house standing tall and strong even though the weather keeps beating us up and the wind blowing parts around. I am very proud of my house keeping so strong. 

11. I am grateful for reading blog posts about inner peace and positivity… Inspiration is always there, if we look for it. many people take their time to share their thoughts or experiences, some of which I can relate. Most importantly, those posts make me remember that I am not the only person who is going thru these feelings (e.g. agitation, feeling down, or stressed). This makes an immediate and positive effect on me…. every.. single.. time.. 🙂

12. I am grateful for being grateful 🙂

———

Added after the post:

Someone suggested to write down three things we appreciate about ourselves every day or something  (http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2013/09/11/improve-self-esteem/) .

I loved this idea, considering how hard I have been on myself lately. So here they are:

1. I love the fact that I do not give up at the face of adversary or criticism. It may hurt, I may react, I may feel angry or down, but eventually I will find a way to make things better and silence that critic!

2. I love the fact that I make efforts to make things better all the time. It is sad that I down talk about myself (I not only criticize myself but also make a negative impression on others unnecessarily- the curse of being a modest and humble person), but this will change from now on.  I decided to nourish myself and talk about myself objectively and positively at the same time!

3. I love the fact that I am a good person and am terrific at my job. Nobody else could do what I am doing and so meticulously. I am very good at my role in life and my role at my work-place. Everybody should get over this, starting with my inner critic 🙂

There….

Feeling 100% better about myself already and rightfully!!!  🙂

——–

Added after the previous addition:

How come I never appreciated myself, while I appreciated so many things?

From today on, my joy journal will include positive things about myself! 🙂

 

 

 

 

while waiting for the snow storm

We are waiting for a snow storm.

Well.. This is winter and snow storms happen all the time. So, I wonder whether you asked yourself what the big deal is and why I write a dramatically titled post about it? 🙂

I will tell you what the big deal is.

Everybody is shopping and there is nothing much left in major stores. It is as if we will never get food anymore.

I usually do my grocery shopping on Thursday. So yesterday I have been to my store. The store was filled with 3X more people than usual. And for the first time in my life I could not find milk.

Milk.

How can you not find milk in a store?

 

And how can this continue the next day; obviously some of my co-workers came in work late, stating that they were out shopping and their line was too long. I checked my store this evening to see whether I could get milk and it was the same (except that I found milk this time). The cashier and I were chatting. I told her what one of my co-workers had said this morning; people shop because for a couple of days the transportation (of food) is affected by the storm. So, it ensures that we will have food after the snow. Hmmmmm. The cashier said that this was not true (though I am not sure how independent her thoughts are)..

Anyways.

It is possible that there may be something really catastrophic  happening and we may not have access to external food and other basic needs for some time. But I am hoping the chances of having such a situation is quite slim. So, I am cool about the entire stuff and I am glad that I have food at my house, and I did not get crazy about the entire shopping thing.

 

the sound of shovels

The weather is really acting; we have had snow, frozen rain, and the rain all within hours…

I shoveled the ice pellets from the front of the house and heavily salted it. Many of my neighbors are out and abound too. It is a normal part of our winter lives to hear the shovel hitting the road; one shovel at a time…Slowly without much of a rush…One of my neighbors had told me that his grand dad died suddenly while sitting on his chair after shoveling. “He had a good life and good death”, my neighbour said.

I had read somewhere recently that shoveling or physical activity in cold weather may tax the heart; cold through the open parts such as hands, feet, and face may slow down the blood circulation, which may lead the heart to work harder. It does make sense to me and I wonder whether that is one of the reasons that shoveling is usually done slowly. After reading this, I started to slow my shoveling too (I was usually like a machine focused on finishing the work at hand, a.k.a. shoveling – I consciously am slowing down now).

I hope all of you out there who are shoveling take it easy, and return safely back to home to a hot cup of tea or soup accompanied with fresh home-made biscuits, and your loved ones 🙂

 

 

 

random thoughts

It was a kind of “oh well, I think I am getting down with something” day…

I think the windy weather is making me kind of sick; it is quite strong and when it hits, it hits.. Time for the hot chocolate 🙂 Lots of it 🙂 🙂

The wind outside is quite concerning; I am so grateful for my house standing tall in this weather. We have had a strangely cold, snowy, and windy week. Two days were snow days and this evening was certainly not great. I managed to go to grocery store nice and easy, but when I had left, the snow and wind were just beating us. It is great that my house is very close to the store 🙂

I have socials to attend this weekend and I am hoping (yes, I am..) that we will cancel them. I am supposed to have a hair cut; clean the house; do the laundry; shop at a mall for my needs; and then attend an early dinner tomorrow – how am I supposed to do all of these, while I also feel kind of sick and cranky and the weather is crazy?

Nevertheless, I am hoping that at least the weather will be better, I will feel a lot like my regular self and enjoy my time as it develops tomorrow.

Have a great Friday night everyone! 🙂

 

 

random thoughts

A beautiful half-Spring day 🙂

Half, because it was still requiring me to wear my hat, scarf, and gloves, but not my winter coat or boots. Yay!

I have had a good time having my breakfast and then working at home for some time. Since the weather was so nice, I decided to go treat myself with another cup of coffee. While I was there, I also got myself a nice piece of sweets. My first treats in quite some time – I am glad I have done this! 🙂

I then decided to check a nearby arts market and bought a nice photo depicting a couple of old but colourful wooden doors. The colours reminded me Spring and I must have had it. I am glad I did give myself this particular treat, too 🙂

With the newly found joy, I walked around. There are really nice houses in my neighbourhood, some of which are quite old. Their unique characters always attract my attention. It was great to enjoy my walk, too 🙂

I decided that lightness I experienced was amazing and making my walk easier. So, after I came home, I removed the extra items from my purse. Now it is lighter, not like 10 pounds 🙂

After that I continued to work, and talked to a few people on the phone. It was fun, too 🙂

My appetite is good today. I am actually craving for sweets but I am determined to not go buy a big box of cake. I am not sure what will curb my appetite, but I am glad that I have had a green salad and a noddle soup prepared by beef-bone-stock; I feel like taking care of my body better today 🙂

I have the entire night to myself and that feels good, too 🙂

healthy life – style journal, Sept 24, 2015

Today yours truly did an excellent job and walked to the office from home in the morning!

I was not really in the mood, but then the weather was so nice, and the sky was clear and shiny. Because of the morning walk yesterday, it was in my mind anyhow, so I could not resist the idea. And I made it 🙂

I am very excited about this – I guess not only walking but in fact enjoying is the key; I enjoyed walking yesterday morning (from a meeting venue to my office) and walking today (from home to office).

I wish to continue. There are a couple of things to consider:

  1. from my previous experience of implementing changes, I know that at the beginning I will mental judo each morning to decide on walking. I can find excuses, I can say it is cold, I can say I am tired already (it is not unusual for me to get frustrated with myself and vent here – so never mind 🙂 ). But eventually it will click and form an habit so that I will do it automatically.
  2. I am worried about the weather. It is not fun walking when it is raining and I should be okay with taking the bus then. The same thing in the winter when the sidewalks are icy – it is safer not to walk then. I should be mentally okay with not walking at those times. So based on the past years patterns, I am assuming I should be able to walk in the morning up to 70% of the cases till January. This is not bad at all. After that, it all depends on the weather…. January-March is usually the winter and April-July usually rains. I will see how it goes.
  3. I may want to have extra clothes at the office in case I have an important meeting or so; 30 min walk makes me sweat a little bit. Also I may want to have extra make up material at the office in case slight rain or sweat washed my makeup. Good plan 🙂

Anyways, let’s hope the coming days I will keep walking in the morning, too. With the walk in the afternoon (which I was pretty consistent except it rained too much or it was exceptionally cold/icy outside), that means I will be walking a total of 1 hr every work day. Yay! 🙂

Breakfast: I forgot to have my breakfast again!! where am I going with this I do not know. I should find practical ways to implement it. Maybe I should start having it at home. Or place the lunch box in front of the door so that I can remember it. Coffee with creamer and brown sugar as the only breakfast today (do they count as breakfast? I do not think so….).

On the positive side, I contemplated about buying tea biscuits or another junk food in the morning, but then decided against it – that is a good sign 🙂

Lunch: peanuts and a can of fish.

Dinner (updated later): 3 pieces of oven-baked fish (from yesterday), 1 slice of 12 grain bread, 1 apple. I am not done yet; I am still hungry. I am not sure whether I would get an omelet or a large salad.

Update: 3 hard-boiled eggs with a dash of olive oil, 3 slices of 12 grain bread. I probably did not do good eating that many slices of bread – my skin got itchy; I am thinking – is my body reacting to this type of bread (allergic reaction)? Maybe. On a separate note I am happy about my consumption of olive oil (we all need healthy oils) and the eggs. These additions helped me not to drop my calories below 1,200 cal/day limit (less than that creates a starvation mode in the body, stimulating fat storage).

Late night snack (added later): 100 grms of trailer mix.

Exercise: 30 min walking in the morning and 30 min walking in the afternoon (Yay!)

Calcium and Vit D  supplements (added later): 1 pill today. I need to bring them to my office to take a pill after the lunch.

random thoughts

Another interesting day in terms of the weather; it has been grey till an hour ago. During the day it rained, too, making the evening walk kinda challenge. Now though it is all bright and shiny!

I loved looking out of the window and seeing the nature as rain drops on it. With the rain came a little wind, moving the tree branches in a beautiful dance. I have taken my time to notice the tallest tree ahead and from where I stood, it looked like that tree has been there for some time. It is amazing to realize that some life forms have a much longer history on earth than us. I wish the trees could talk to us; we could learn so much 🙂

I have a thing for trees; I love them, their leaves, their cycle of life during the different seasons, their barks, the way they bloom during spring, and the flowers should they have any. I have two lilac trees in my little yard, which are about to blossom. The lilac flowers are short-lived yet when they show up, their scent and sight are amazing. I feel blessed to have them in my yard.

In terms of the challenges I have assigned to myself a while ago; some of them I am consistent now, which is a great feeling;

I am getting way better in taking the bus :);

certainly eating better 90% of the time :);

walking everyday whenever the weather is permissive;

as part of my “spending freeze”, so far I have only bought a couple of books (in the last 6 weeks or so), but not 2-3 books/week :);

doing the grocery shopping as required and in small amounts and so far I hardly let any fresh produce rot in my fridge :);

continuing with my conscious spending plan (not perfect but it is still there);

listening to the music both at the office and the house;

I am very consistent about drinking tea at the office 🙂 (except that I noticed drinking green tea if I am hungry is not a good idea; it upsets my stomach);

I love enjoying the view from the office window and getting amazed by the nature and its awakening during Spring (yes, it is still spring here; summer does not come very easily 🙂 );

assessing and recording my progress by writing them down;

applying facial moisturizer;

and wait….

I have lost weight; 8 pounds to be exact! Now…. Not sure whether it is permanent; I am still eating bread and bagels, but not as much as I used to and sometimes I dine out; but generally I seem to not eat a lot before going to bed (which I think is helping me to lose weight)…

I sincerely wish that this is a continuous progress. I just cannot take it granted as like many others, in the past I have lost weight just to gain back again 🙂 So I better keep doing what I am doing!

have a great evening everyone.

random thoughts

the last three days feels like fall – it is grey and the temperature is less than 14C. I am having a hard time reminding myself this is June 🙂 It is great that I am going for a long trip to a sunny place soon; I am sure my body will appreciate the warmth and sunlight.

I am feeling bored nowadays as I have not worked well in the last few weeks – the good weather certainly distracted me and led me to leave my office earlier than usual to enjoy the outdoors. Yet, my mind is now bored and the only way to cherish is to work. Those who find something great about working would understand how I am feeling right now.

As per my financial goals, I continue to shop consciously, which makes a small, but noticeable difference. And no I did not take the bus this week yet, which feels somehow awkward. Can I start doing it tomorrow?

My mood in the morning is not great – I think this is one of the reasons for me to take the cab. I do not want to strain myself further by waiting and taking the bus. The cab takes me from the front of my house and leaves me at the door of my work place. So convenient. And convenience feels good, though I miss the self-appreciating feeling when I do take the bus. Tomorrow is another day. I can re-visit this then.

I keep eating fruits (apples and oranges mostly), drinking tea once a day, eating healthy as much as I can. At least this part of my life is going more or less as I wish it to be.

On a final note, I have been trying some fictional stories lately and poems earlier. I find I cannot keep working on them for extended periods of time – what I think about while writing is what I feel . So unless I start a comedy-centered piece, I am okay with working on them only time to time :). That also means I have developed a huge appreciation for poets and novelists.

random thoughts

It is a beautiful bright and warm day. Could not ask for more of weather. Is it not awesome that the weather has such a positive effect?

Kind of a regular Saturday for me – the routine is the same; getting up, getting breakfast and doing light work at the favourite cafe, cleaning and aerating the house, and doing laundry. these may be routine, but they feel great nevertheless; the ability to waking up, the ability to buy myself breakfast, the ability and motivation to do work at the weekend, the great feeling after seeing my home cleaned and organized. Routine or not, many things to be grateful for.

One change I have made today was to switch to my recliner – time to give a break to the couch. The good thing: where I sit now, I am capable of hooking my sound system and listen to the music thru my computer. That is great. A couple of days ago my next door neighbours were having a barbecue party and they were listening to nice, upbeat music. I enjoyed listening to it and now I can do that myself.

have a great, shiny, and happy Saturday everyone.

joy journal – April 15, 2015

relatively great day; I am thankful for many things today;

1. I am grateful that I slept well. It was comfortable and I woke up easily. I had a meeting at 9.30 am so I could take my time getting up (I planned to arrive directly at the meeting in another building). That also helped me to take the bus, rather than taking the cab. I not only saved some pennies but also walked a little bit to the bus stop and then to my meeting. Great!

2. I am grateful for the person at the desk that allowed me to use their phone to find out where the meeting was. It turns out I ended up at the wrong building and thanks to the phone conversation, I was able to locate the meeting room.

3. I am grateful for 10 min walk from the building where the meeting was held to my office. Morning walks energizes at the end, but I find myself to lazy to walk in the mornings (usually have low energy in the mornings..). I can try more often, knowing that at the end I will feel better.

4. I am grateful for buying myself coffee and muffins for breakfast. Now, brewing my coffee is more practical and affordable (which I do 99% of the time) and muffins are not necessarily healthy; I know. But, it did feel good..(I usually do not eat in the mornings).

5. I am grateful for lightly working (without much stress) but effectively. There was a project that I was working on, writing for almost 3 months. I changed the scope quite a bit as I learnt more about the important details of the work to be done. But today I was able to get a short draft and email it to an important senior collaborator to get his support and possibly involvement. My collaborator would not like to be involved in the project as he is trying to reduce his work load, but is highly supportive of the project and allowed me to use the documents and the work-space for this project. I am forever grateful!

6. I am grateful for having a nice late afternoon meeting, casual and positive conversations, with great colleagues. Always a delight.

7. I am grateful for moving 5-6 more boxes of items from my current office to the new office today. I believe I need another 4-5 boxes to fully carry the items to the new office. I am also grateful that I put an order to move my computer to the new office on monday, but not wednesday, which is my official moving day. That means I think tomorrow is my last day at my current office (friday I have out-of-office tasks to do, so will not be at the work-place). I sure will give my thanks to the office, which has been a home to me in the last 6 years.

8. I am grateful for cleaning some of my (emptied) office furniture today. I still have 3 desks and a bookcase to be cleaned really well prior to the move, but I guess I can do that next week.

9. I am grateful for one of my colleagues giving me a ride back home.

10. I am grateful for having the evening and night to myself. It is peaceful and relaxing.

11. I am grateful for having salad at dinner today. One healthy meal I have had 🙂

12. I am grateful for receiving one of the books that someone I care about asked me to get for her. I found it in my mail box, which is great. Should the book have been big or heavy, the postman would not leave it to my mail box; rather I would have to go to the post-office. I am grateful I did not have to do that.

13. I am grateful for the beautiful day; it is bright yet chilly, but that is okay.

14. I am grateful for having no negative news or experiences today and feeling good. That feeling is awesome :0

15. I am grateful that two bloggers, thesmallc and C. Hills  have shared what they were grateful for yesterday as a response to my joy journal entry! It is really exciting that these ladies adopted the idea of joy journalling and shared own joys! I feel really excited about this and wishing them and everyone else a great experience with joy journalling:)

the cold weather and appreciation

The winter shows itself today – it was -20 C with wind shield during the day and I am assuming it is less right now. Quite unusual for where I live; usually in winter the temperature would not go below 0C.

There is something nice about the cold weather, though. It made me appreciate the warmth of my home and my office. It makes me want to find ways to make insulation better at my home. I notice for example the weather strip of the back door is not large enough and the cold weather pours in through between the door and the wall. Would a nice, long, thick curtain help stop the cold air move in? Perhaps. It is worth giving it a try.

I love having my throw on my lap, too. It is the source of an effortless warmth. How about soup and tea? Warmth, warmth, more warmth 🙂 It is awesome to have all of these, a safe and sound house to stay, heating and power, clothes and throws, and the hot drinks. I am grateful for all that make the winter manageable.

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