socialization attempt

I have been contemplating lately about the changes that have happened to me and one area that bothers me is the low frequency of social interactions out of work.

I used to host my friends almost every weekend 10-15 years ago. We were all young, single or married, but with no kids. It was easier then.

Then I moved to another country and my friends over there were now over 30 and lovingly with babies/kids. I loved the kids, I loved my friends, but what I was cooking or offering at home as entertainment for my guests were not adequate (I had no toys or board games, for example. I sucked in cooking meals that kids would love). I got to play with the kid when I visited their homes and was welcome and never felt awkward because of me being single or without a kid, but honestly I eventually fed up listening about kids all the time and watching the kid movies. I started to miss sincere conversations about life, our lives, and other philosophical discussions. It also annoyed me quite a bit after a while that my friends thought that I could be there whenever they wanted, as I had “no dependent“. They missed the point that I too had a life, issues, joys, interests, and needed time for myself and needed people/friends who would listen to me and intellectually stimulate me.

We have had enough frustration and disappointment. Bitter emotions built up. Eventually, I drifted away slowly as they also did.

Then I moved to my current city and got very, very busy with the work. I met with many wonderful people but was not able to host them because of time-restrictions. I developed quite a bit of insecurity about my cooking skills too, which also contributed to my anti-social life. Not to mention a number of serious health and family issues I have had in the last few years that made me more and more introvert.

But no insecurity or busyness or being anti-social are helping me and it is time to break this cycle.

It was an unusually busy week and I am tired cleaning the home and thinking about the menu tomorrow, but I am doing this with excitement – I am hosting a number of lovely people and two little kids tomorrow 🙂


10 thoughts on “socialization attempt

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    1. thanks Pamela! I am really looking forward to it. My friends are really nice people and they know the heaviness of my schedule as well as not so great cooking (!) skills, but they are coming anyway and that itself tells me how lucky I am to have them in my life and at my home 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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