I have been contemplating lately about the changes that have happened to me and one area that bothers me is the low frequency of social interactions out of work.
I used to host my friends almost every weekend 10-15 years ago. We were all young, single or married, but with no kids. It was easier then.
Then I moved to another country and my friends over there were now over 30 and lovingly with babies/kids. I loved the kids, I loved my friends, but what I was cooking or offering at home as entertainment for my guests were not adequate (I had no toys or board games, for example. I sucked in cooking meals that kids would love). I got to play with the kid when I visited their homes and was welcome and never felt awkward because of me being single or without a kid, but honestly I eventually fed up listening about kids all the time and watching the kid movies. I started to miss sincere conversations about life, our lives, and other philosophical discussions. It also annoyed me quite a bit after a while that my friends thought that I could be there whenever they wanted, as I had “no dependent“. They missed the point that I too had a life, issues, joys, interests, and needed time for myself and needed people/friends who would listen to me and intellectually stimulate me.
We have had enough frustration and disappointment. Bitter emotions built up. Eventually, I drifted away slowly as they also did.
Then I moved to my current city and got very, very busy with the work. I met with many wonderful people but was not able to host them because of time-restrictions. I developed quite a bit of insecurity about my cooking skills too, which also contributed to my anti-social life. Not to mention a number of serious health and family issues I have had in the last few years that made me more and more introvert.
But no insecurity or busyness or being anti-social are helping me and it is time to break this cycle.
It was an unusually busy week and I am tired cleaning the home and thinking about the menu tomorrow, but I am doing this with excitement – I am hosting a number of lovely people and two little kids tomorrow 🙂