Happy Sunday

Folks, it is yet another beautiful Sunday. Hope you all are having a peaceful, safe, and fun day.

We have a slightly rainy day. Like many Canadians, I had planned to work on my yard, and clean and tidy it up. Not been happening so far, but I hope to get to it this afternoon, if not, tomorrow the latest.

So far, I have mowed my yard only once two weeks ago. I am not an enthusiastic mower. But more importantly, I have seen posts about the need for dandelions and other wild plants with flowers, that feed our bees. So, Win-Win. I am keeping my dandelions as long as they are with flowers, and hope to clean the plants out after that. I am sure they will appear again next year.

I have however mulch that I want to use to replenish some areas with heavy grass. Like the underneath of the trees. It was two years ago that I carried over – on a shopping card – 20+ bags of mulch to finally make my yard a little bit better. It was quite a success and thanks to staying at home during the pandemic that helped me save time and finally do something about it.

How is your pandemic life going like? We have a lot of cases here. And deaths. It is heart-breaking. So far I have avoided the virus – I think; unless I was one of the asymptomatic ones – and I feel like I am absolutely too lucky to be so. Is this what is called as Survivor Guilt? Boy, I do not wish to get this virus, at least repeatedly, so that it can wreak havoc on my systems. Nope. Long covid scares me and for the right reasons. Please take care of yourself and those around you.

On the positive side, I have taken Friday off and tomorrow is a paid holidays, too. So I have been enjoying my long weekend with minimal work. I have been studying information for an upcoming interview, a voluntary but very important position with a national organization in my field. I am excited about it and I feel confident with each information I gained. I passed the pre-interview processes and now will be interviewed by the CEO and that feels amazing to me 🙂 Wish me luck, good folks. It is only every once a while that I get this much excited AND confident to make moves & applications. I am very excited about this opportunity and what I can do in that capacity. We shall see how that goes. but so far so good.

Tonite, I had the most wonderful dream. My mom was with me and my sister and hugging us tightly. smiling, and speaking to us so vividly. It felt very alive and real to me and it makes me happy! My mom, my beautiful mom. I love you We love you. Rest in Peace and wait for us – we shall meet again.

Sunday morning musings

Is Spring there where you are, too?

It certainly is here 🙂

The last one week was particularly amazing. Blue and open skies, warm temperatures (nothing too fancy – it does not get too hot where I am, but just good enough to feel that winter is over), and a sense of renewal and hope (mostly in nature, as the trees started to get their leaves and flowers are bursting out of the soil).

Yes. Spring is here and it feels great 🙂

I have been doing okay, kind of both busy at work and tired of work, so the more I tried the more things seemed to be delayed. But now I can see that except a few things, everything has been moving and I have been getting what I wanted. So, this is also an awesome news.

I sure have a friction with a colleague of mine on a project we work together on. Not the first time I have experienced, but honestly it costs me morning hours of sleep. I want to take this constructively. I keep saying myself that “everything happens for a reason, and I will know what to do when the right time comes”. But, still…

Other than this, this week I have learn about the importance of hope once again. I had made an application for a role in a national organization. I never heard and did know that elections were ongoing (I got an email myself as a member of that organization). Naively I had thought that my application was dismissed (yes, how naive can I be?? 🙂 They would not send an election email with my name on, right? Right! 🙂 ). And, just a few days ago, bam! I have got an email stating that I am in! My goodness – I am so excited! It was something I really wanted and I got to learn about hope (and confidence) again. Double win!

On the personal side, I am still trying to get slimmer. Sometimes I can lose a couple of pounds, but mostly it seems like stuck. So, there are moments of both excitement and dread. I feel like I am not trying hard enough to make this a priority for myself. Every reminder is a good reminder.

With these, I leave it to you to enjoy your day and the week ahead – I hope you all have awesome memories 🙂

Sunday morning musings

Happy Sunday folks – hope you are all feeling well and joyful, in anyway you can.

This is the 4th day of my long weekend and I could not be happier. I had no reason to get up early or work, or get ready for a virtual meeting. Being away from work meant that I could hardly pass the day yesterday and was feeling bored! It is a great sign that I was ready to work again 🙂

We have had warm weather during the weekend. The shiniest and bluest skies I have ever seen! I changed my coat to spring/fall coat. Getting rid of the heavy and bulky winter coat is a joyful act 🙂

I have walked yesterday and the day before that and made sure that I sweated. It was great. It is amazing how much climbing up/stairs can work our cardio system! I am very lucky to be in a city full of hills and long stairs connecting different sections of the neighbourhood.

While I love winter/snow, I am also looking forward to welcoming rejuvenating nature, greening trees, and blooming flowers around my neighbourhood,

Having the windows open is possibly the most significant source of joy in spring and summer. I know I am not the only one.

I wish you warm and joyful days ahead – please remember to celebrate every single lovely thing in life, give yourself and others credit, and help our planet and all those living creatures whose livelihood is dependent on it.

Random thoughts

Happy Saturday, folks – I hope all is well, safe, and enjoying today.

I have not been blogging as much as I want, but I hope to write more in the coming days. The more I write, the more I understand. The more I understand, the better I get. Life also gets more exciting 🙂

Anyways.

My antidepressant dosage is working and I feel great again. That is, my friends, priceless.

My work performance eventually got to the level prior to my mom’s passing in Fall 2021. I am quite satisfied with that. Being content with oneself is important, isn’t it? One more thing to be grateful of.

Spring is around the corner. We have more and more bright sky-days that give me hope and energy. I must say though that I will miss snow and cool weather. It was great to walk on snow and breathe in cool weather. It does soothe my nerves. How about you? I know many people who would not like Winter. That is okay, my friends, as long as we like something about some weather/season.

I got my taxes done a few weeks ago, and for the first time in my life, I got a good return that I did not expect. So, I was naturally happy, but also feel feared, feeling like maybe we missed something during the filing process (I hope not). I used the return to make a mortgage pre-payment and then to complete paying off my Home Buyers Plan (Canadian folks would know this – it is basically an interest free loan from my own RRSP, an investment tool for retirement). This means folks, I have only my mortgage left to pay off to own my house.

Unless something catastrophic happens, I plan to pay off my mortgage at the end of the term this Fall. I will use a part of my TFSA investments to complete it. I am excited about this. I am VERY excited about this. It is too early to get happy about this, but I think of the times that I first purchased my home and how financially it changed my life. I was not abundant and feeling rich anymore. I rather felt like unless I took charge of my spendings, I could end of being in more debt than the mortgage. So drastic cuts followed, and I am glad, it did. Now, I have a life long habit of being resourceful and abundant while also protecting my money and maximizing its value.

My foster cat Mona is still with me and I could not be happier. Everyday with her is a blessing. She truly heals me. Mentally, emotionally. May she have a great, long, happy, and healthy life free of suffering, dirty litter boxes, and cruel people around.

Well, these are what I have got at the time being. You all stay well and safe, my friends. Talk to you next time 🙂

random thoughts

Have not been blogging lately – time to pour my mind into this page 🙂

First of all, what a beautiful weather we have been having this year! It is still chilly but the days have been bright and sky has been blue. My heating temp is low now and I have been opening the windows since late March. Trees in my yard are getting full and blooming. What else do I wish? 🙂

Work is going crazy and I am so behind of so many tasks that I am stressed again. But the great news is that I got promoted (yes, I have!) and it is the highest position for my profession!! It has not happened over night – for decades I have studied and worked my ass off, moving from one country to other to develop myself further, and today here I am! I am proud. So is my family. I am so happy that I was able to give this news to my family. Should my dad be alive, he would be absolutely delighted.

While I dreamed of this promotion for so long and worked so much for it, I still do not feel extremely awesome 🙂 It is interesting. I think it is important but not the most important thing for me. Yes, I have the satisfaction of reaching this point and making my family proud. But I have not changed as a person and as a professional. I keep thinking that I have tremendous experience and I cannot wait to do my biggest work yet. So, my future goals are vivid and I am striving to achieve them. I think for people like me, the journey itself is the most exciting part.

My foster cat Mona is doing well. We took care of her main health issue, but ended up with a new one. Now we are trying to fix that and I think we will do this easily as well. She is such a strong girl. Not sure why we end up with one minor issue after the other. I want her to be well. I know that once she is free of health issues, she will be up for adoption, which breaks my heart. But I would rather have her healthy than having issues. My beautiful girl. She has never lost her energy or enthusiasm to play with me hide-and-seek, or given me a huge anxiety. Always ready for a head scratch and affection. I love her so much.

Today has been filled with working, cleaning the home and doing laundry in between, shopping, and cooking. I cannot believe I have done all of these all within a day. Sometimes stress can be helpful I guess. For example, in a few hours I prepared a speech to be delivered next week. Generally, I would have the speech ready a few week before the date so that I could feel confident. This time, I needed to leave it to last week. Stressful? yes. Has stress helped to get it done in a short time? Yes. Go figure 🙂

Anyways folks, life is continuing and it is good right now. I have booked for my vaccination and I cannot wait. Tonite, I am relaxing with watching movies. Tomorrow is another day. We shall see what it will bring. I hope it will be a wonderful day for all of us globally.

random thoughts

I started the week high energy and started to feel tired again since Wednesday. Since the Holidays it has been non-stop – what was I expecting? I need a break.

How are you all holding up? Did you get the vaccines yet? I am still not eligible – because of my age, but hoping soon it will get to my age group. I cannot wait. The new announcements that it is an aerosol transmission/airborne is alarming me – how are we going to ventilate all these workplaces, schools, and residences? If my work place offers half working from home program, boy, I will take it right away. Vaccine or not, have no interest in getting anywhere close this virus.

Our weather is gray nowadays. Maybe we will see blue sky and sun this weekend. It would be so nice. There is something so great about the Spring. It is energizing and tell us that the hibernation season is over. We can rejuvenate.

So, how exactly am I planning to rejuvenate? I have done well walking just for the love of walking in the early week. Seeing the neighbourhood, trees, and houses are always a delight. I love the crisp air that “washes” my face and gives me tremendous peace. Walking in the mornings and evenings are certainly great. I cannot wait to do this more regularly. But, what else? Will I declutter? Will I change the furniture? What will I do?? Dilemma. And mystery 🙂

Despite being in a lock-down in the last 14 months, I have not gained weight. What a miracle… Did you? Many people have. Maybe this is one of these fortunate times that I was spared of extra fat. I wanna laugh, but I am also serious. It feels great to be on the lucky side 🙂

My foster cat Mona is doing well. Such a sweet heart. She eats less now and is losing weight. We waste quite a bit of wet food, but honestly, as long as she is well, I am okay with this. Why are the cans so big? A kitty cannot eat the entire 156 grams of food in 3-4 hours, so what is the point?

Anyways, let’s focus on the positive that Mona is well. I am well. My family is well. Spring is here. I had a little increase in my salary so I feel great about it. I am abundant and have everything I need. I can contribute to the animal rescue organization by covering cost of some of the food and litter. My friends check on me. I can walk, I am functional. My antidepressant works. I can take things much easier and and feeling absolutely better.

I saw a blog by a medical practitioner the other day with a title asking Do antidepressants work? Boy, please do not use this kind of titles – it sounds like you are suspicious. In my experience, yes they do work. My medication may not work someone else, and they can hopefully find relief in another drug (if they are interested in taking a medication). I feel like the fact that sometimes we are put in places where we need to defend our choices or our antidepressants is mind-blowing. Ask me and my experience.

How is the economy going on where you are? It is surprising me that the market is still doing high. Prices are going up, though. My favorite yogurt has increased like 50 cents a tub, and I am hoarding it whenever it is on sale. I can eat around 5-7 tubs of yogurt per week, so hoarding is for a short time only, and it works well, In a given day I probably have like 10 tubs in my fridge. You can call me freak if you want, but it does not change the fact that it is my favorite evening/night snack. I also use it liberally with meals and soups. Yogurt is good and much better than McDonald’s.

When was the last time I ate from McDonald’s? Hard to remember. Wendy’s possibly, yes. But not McDonald’s in decades..

Anyways, seems like I am very talkative tonite 🙂 I will cut it out here and say that please keep yourself safe, have hope that this too shall pass, and enjoy whatever you have and give you joy.

random thoughts

Life is good, as Spring is here 🙂

Other than this the news coming from India about the lack of oxygen tanks and the huge number of deaths are simply depressing me. I am so sorry for the residents of India, and all those who are affected by COVID-19. The health care services, like education, should be on the priority list of any governments. Perhaps they did not have the means to do so, but the numbers are so high and the stories are so heart-breaking that I cannot feel but angry for all the lives lost..

I visited to my yard this morning. Grass are growing and trees are about to get leaves. It has been great lately, with clear and blue skies. The temperature is not too high yet, but I can open the windows for a few hours everyday, just to get fresh air on my face… What an awesome feeling…

I was almost sick last week, so decided to take a few days off and rest. It was the best decision. I have not rested – but I found a chance to stay away from online meetings and just focus on what I want to do. I really dislike the meetings… We have so many.. Why do we have so many meetings????

I decided that I want to keep Fridays to myself, and refrain from meetings if possible. The 3 days – together with the weekend – just make it a stress and distraction free time period. Sounds like a mini vacation to me 🙂 I could not be more excited.

Mona, my foster cat, is doing really well. Her last set of medications seem to work and she is feeling much better. She has a little rash on her skin, which worries me. For now, we are tackling it by limiting the food to her regular brand and refraining from using chemicals, especially those that I used to apply while cleaning her litter room (lysol). I clean that room everyday now, with hypo allergenic baby wipes and vacuum the floors every day. Her blankest are also washed regularly and I try to pay attention to her grooming habits. My good girl. She will be fine. She will get better. I love her so much.

Do you have plans for summer? I know this does not sound right as many of us are under lock down still. But we all must try to enjoy and celebrate summer. Nature is amazing, so is weather in summer. We can spend more time outdoors, as many experts recommend, and enjoy gardening. This is the 2nd year that I will not be visiting my family. I cannot complain, I love walking in the city and enjoying the fresh air. I like looking at the yards, trees, plants, and listening to the birds chipping. I like having the windows open. I simply love the blue skies and having people talking on the street. Life is fuller when these happen.

I am looking at a busy summer though. I just got a new team member last week and another one is to join in two weeks. That means a lot of one-to-one meetings and trainings. I have work to be completed and new ones to start. I am so looking forward to accomplishing all of these, and start new projects.

At least, I will keep my Fridays to myself (I hope), will continue to say no (which I have been getting really good at), prioritize my work better, and take it easy. We are going through a global pandemic and our lives are not the same. Our mentality and emotions are not the same. Our priorities are not the same. We simply cannot keep up with everything and that is okay. I came to accept this a while ago and this reduces the pressure on me. I also expect less from my team members – we all are struggling in one way or the other.

But I am truly grateful that we are all safe now, my family, my team, my friends, and myself. So far so good. What the new days will bring, nobody knows. but until then – keep safe, folks, wherever you are, take time for your and your loved ones’ wellness, enjoy the summer as much as you can.

Better days ahead.

random thoughts

Time flies. We are at mid-April. For many, it means Spring. Happy Spring everyone.

We have a foggy day and I cannot help but admire the scenery. It is so mystical. I am sure many writers and novelists have been inspired by such scenery.

Anyways – life has been going well, thanks to my antidepressant and my foster cat Mona.

Mona is well and going through some medications. Hopefully these are the latest in the round and she will be just fine to be put for adoption. I say hopefully for her being well and healthy, and finding her forever home, but not for being separated from her. It has almost been 6 months and every day I get more bonded to her. It will be difficult, but we will do it. Then, another kitty in need will come… I will love that kitty, too.

I have had otherwise quite a stressful time in the last one year, and honestly I think that without my antidepressants that I started taking 6 months ago, it would break me. I am so grateful for this medication. I can take events and people easier; I can enjoy and feel much better; and more importantly I fear and worry less. Unbelievable. Why did I torture myself all these years, denying myself the medication option?

One reason was that I thought I would lose control, get lethargic, or just do not care about anything anymore. How silly are these. These do not happen. At least, not in my experience (my medication fits me; no side effects and effective in managing my depression/anxiety).

My doctor was happy to hear how well I was feeling. He said that he will likely drop the dose in a couple of months and then stop all together. I knew that one day I would go off this medication, but honestly I was not expecting it to be soon. While there are many horror stories out there about weaning off anti-depressants and increased side effects, I want to be courageous, but honestly I am scared!! I am scared of getting brain zaps or other effects of stopping medications, or feeling like shit again….. Logically, the brain zaps may or may not happen, and are temporary. Second, nothing prevents me from taking the medication again. So I must keep brave 🙂

For the second time during the pandemic, I went to thrift stores yesterday 🙂 I was so craving for an excitement, something away from my routine life. I bought really lovely and useful things and I could not be happier. for a total of 28 bucks, I bought a kitchen knife, a sturdy belt, a pair of pants, a new pairs of sports pants, new socks, and a large pillow for Mona. All worth the bucks I spent 🙂

Anyways, these are the main things in my life nowadays. Wherever you are I hope you and your family are keeping safe and you have access to vaccinations. I am not eligible for vaccination yet, but cannot wait to get it. If you are in Ontario, my sympathies. The situation got so bad there that I cannot help but get angry at administrators. They failed the people. Please stay safe. You are in my thoughts.

random thoughts

What a beautiful day, with sunny skies and a temperature above 15 degrees! Yes 🙂 Amazing. A wonderful Spring day. It was so enjoyable.

One of those days. Cannot believe it is Monday. Where did the weekend go? Miraculously I have no meetings scheduled for the newt few days. That means right before the long weekend, I can just finish some stuff and do nothing during the long weekend!. Sounds like a fantastic plan.

That is all I have to say today. A short, but positive blog 🙂

Enjoy the rest of the night, folks.

random thoughts

What a beautiful, bright day!

We still have snow here and there, but since the daylights savings stuff ending, we get to see much better weather and day outside, I want to walk so badly, hopefully tomorrow.

Tomorrow I am getting my taxes done. I admire those people who do their own taxes. Hats off! I never tried it in Canada, Honestly I am scared that I will do something wrong, and the CRA will get back to me after 🙂 So, I pay over 100 bucks each year for my taxes to be filed. Peace of mind, that is. Hope to get a return and add up to it a little bit more, and make a prepayment next week 🙂 this is so exciting – I am looking forward to it.

I was able to get up around 8 am, and it made my day very productive. I know that getting not later than 8.30 am is a factor in my productivity.. Since we started working from home, my sleep has been really good (sleeping 6-7 hours/night) and since Mona – my foster cat – came to stay with me and I started to take antidepressant medication at around the same time, it even got better. Now I can sleep around 8 hours, without anxiety and negative fears/thoughts filling my mind during the night.

However my morning sleep has also become too sweet, and as such, I love, LOVE sleeping in, an hour or more in the morning. This means I usually get up around 9, 9.30 am. With the morning routine of feeding Mona and cleaning her bowls and litter box/room, that means I do not start the work till at least an hour later. Staring the work around 10 am almost always makes me feel like I am late, and as a result, I feel stress to catch up. Oh well.

So hope to make it a habit to get up around 7.30 – 8 am so that I can feel a lot better, despite cutting from the sweet morning sleep 🙂 Wish me luck 🙂

Anyways, all is well on my, my family’s, and Mona’s side. So there is so much to be grateful of. I am grateful for:

• sleeping well and getting up relatively early

• having a productive, calm, and peaceful work day

• we all being well and healthy

• eating home made meal and apple

• getting a highly positive comment from the organizers of an event I participated last week – their note was short but specific to what was amazing about my talk (engaging the audience with my talk during this virtual meeting), so I especially loved it 🙂 Great motivation to keep going, making interactive talks, and knowing that my efforts paid off,

• beautiful, bright day that gives the impression that Spring is coming

• resting and relaxing tonite by blogging, surfing on the internet, and watching Netflix

have a great night everyone

random thoughts

My long-lasting and recent favorite Netflix series ended the other day and I am desperately looking for a series that will keep me occupied with interest. Shout out any suggestions.

I am having another loooong week, but that is okay. Slowly, many things are progressing and I feel okay with this. Some good news are also coming to my way, too. Just yesterday I got an invitation to speak at a professional meeting and I am delighted. A colleague of mine helped solve an issue this evening, and I could not be happier. He is my partner in a project and he has done his part really well. Respect. This morning I had a 2 hours presentation, the longest I have ever done remotely, and it went so well! Lots to celebrate. Lots to cherish.

My two hours presentation had concerned me quite a bit until I delivered it. I have yet another one coming in a couple of months. I do not like to just speak, but involve everyone – as much as possible – in the discussion, questions, or comments. In a remote environment, many of these things are quite challenging. Today’s session was a small group, so it was easier to make it interactive. But I have a large one coming, with potentially around 60 attendees. How to manage such a size and make people engaged and attract their attention?

One thing I want to try is to use the poll function. I have tried it myself but was not sure whether it really worked. So I opted out using it today. But with the big presentation, I need to establish it and get experienced with it. The good thing is that I have time to figure this out. I can also ask for IT’s help – but honestly I want to learn and apply it myself so that I can keep doing it independently. So next week or so, I will rush after learning the poll function.

My foster cat Mona is doing well. Her latest health scare is healing and I could not be happier. The panic I felt was very real. In a couple of days it subsidized. I was able to look at her belly closely and take pics and video clips (to send to rescue organization). The general idea was to “keep an eye on it, and if it gets worse in a couple of days, we will get her to a vet”. Thankfully, it started to heal at that time. Happiness 🙂

This incidence made me think quite a bit. This is the first time I have someone else in my home since my late 20’s (yes, I treat her like a person..). First time I am closely responsible for helping someone else. The panic I felt – many people felt it so much earlier in life. They got experienced and dealt with such things much successfully while I was living my solo life. Imagine, how late I am in experiencing some of life experiences? 🙂

Spring is still far away but at least we will have brighter days, starting this weekend (daylight savings). I am not naive to think that Spring will just show up in April – April is often our most turbulent and unpredictable month. End of May is a much better approximate time for the start of Spring. I cannot wait to work in my yard, hug my trees, admire all the life forms, and gaze at the neighbourhood. Ahh, the sweet Spring. Hope you will bring us a much safer and enjoyable days.

Stay safe folks.

Start of a new month

Tomorrow is March 1st.

I am glad that the harshest months of winter – January and February – are behind us. Yet, I feel like time flies and I have some sort of grief coming with this.

Nevertheless, I think we must celebrate reaching to the middle of winter. Spring is always joyful, and makes us feel much better. Nature awakens; yards, tress, and birds become alive and joyful. Having a window open and getting fresh air in are certainly priceless and delightful.

This weekend was fine. I worked in the morning and am ready for the week. I must say the weekdays continue to stress me and weekends continue to relax me. They say so much about the life-work balance. I wonder if this balance is ever achievable?

What is that balance, anyhow?

I was reading an essay about it the other day, and the author claims that there is no such thing as a balance, as there is no true border between work and life. Also, the term itself implies that either our work or life – or both – are miserable and unbearable.

Truth.

In my profession, having this balance is almost impossible. We work anytime and any day, as we always chase for new things and have serious obligations. The expectations increase day by day, especially happened during the COVID-19 pandemic for some unsensible reasons – as we have a highly competitive job. So either we will perform normally and risk being called and feeling unsuccessful and a failure (duh! even with a little bit of or work, we do amazing and incredible things), or hurt ourselves with countless of hours of work, stress, thinking, writing, reading, discussing, training, and presenting. All to feel competent and successful. Whoever has implemented this self-inflicted, unhealthy, and counter-intuitive system must be very proud of themselves. There seems to be no way out of it, unless the vast majority think the same way and stop slowing.

Slowing down is a term I have been associating with the pandemic. I heard it from many of my friends and colleagues, and it kind of makes sense. I believe that I could be not only healthier, but also more creative if we could slow down a little bit.

On the positive side, I feel like I have slowed down somehow and tipped to scale towards the life part of the work-life balance, especially now that I have a lovely foster cat with me. Spending time with Mona, even feeding her or cleaning her litter box are giving me much needed mental brake. I am determined to continue with fostering even when she is adopted. My beautiful girl. May she always have the best, kindest, and most compassionate people around her, the best meals and cleanest litter box, and the best vets.

random (morning) thoughts on anxiety

Good morning World – I hope all are doing well in this beautiful Saturday morning.

The Spring has been showing its face in the last while. We have shinier days. Being outside is fun and comfy.

I have been feeling kind of anxious lately. It is one of these episodes that I easily get irritated and scared. They say growing is always painful, but pain is an indicator that something has been tried/done and once you are over the pain, you are wiser. Better.

I hope so.

In addition to its pain, anxiety and irrational fear also stop you or limit what you want to do. After all, trying to move away from the fears and worries is only natural.

The other option could be to de-sensitize myself to criticism, failure, worries, and fears. I have been trying that by undertaking bigger roles (which can create more issues) and by addressing challenging issues. I kind of think that the more issues I have to deal with the better I can sort among what is important what is not. I sometimes, just sometimes, can achieve this. Is this a progress or just lucky encounter, I do not know.

What I want to know is what is best for me?

Am I doing good pushing myself like this, or should I just omit things that bother me? The latter option is really tempting, but I also know that one worry-some thing goes, and then another one comes. So changing the perspective and the attitude seems to be the best way.

It is also the hardest.

I think I would like to take time this weekend to reflect on this. Who knows, maybe I will realize something, read or think about something.

These being said, these existential issues somehow help me forget about the seriousness of the COVID-19 situation. I shopped after two weeks yesterday. I wanted to shop, as it excites me 🙂 I bought cleaning products and some canned food, and it felt great. But putting on a mask and gloves, and then taking them off once I was out of the store, coming home, changing clothes, washing them up, and washing my hands and face up until they felt all red was not fun. These are the moments that make me realize how serious this virus situation is (duh!). I think I have been ignoring it so that I would not experience the anxiety it creates.

Perhaps the anxiety I am having over other points are actually a good thing – who knows?

I cannot claim to know how life works. But I sure need some guidance and reading to do on anxiety and how to manage it.

 

 

COVID-19, April 1

So, Spring is here!

My, my, my..

It should be feeling great, but with what is going on with the pandemic, the sad sorrow and fear it creates, it is hard to get excited about the Spring.

Are we getting depressed?

Sort of…

……….

Maybe just depressive, not depressed.

……….

Let’s keep our chin and hopes high, friends. It is a strange time, but we are going through it.

Brighter days to come.

 

Saturday morning musings

A beautiful morning.

It is bright and makes me feel good. I am humming a song while sipping my coffee and browsing the daily news.

All is well on my side right now. That feels great for a change 🙂

 

Sunday musings

Happy Sunday everyone!

With the sourdough loaf being in the oven and giving all the beautiful scents and feelings, I am ready to enjoy my day.

Today, I am not working. The weird thing about this is that I am bored. I have alternatives, of course – such as, visiting a cafe and enjoying a nice cup of tea and a pastry, or visiting a bookstore and browsing the shelves. Yet, these are not appealing to me right now. So, I stay in.

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My TV is on. There is a movie with Meghan Markle in one of the leading roles. It feels weird and somehow exciting as well that her life is completely changed lately. The love she has found, the changes in her social status and obligations, and motherhood. She is a good example of how our lives can change from one moment to other. I wonder when the last time my life has had such an interesting twist…..

There is something boring about doing the same thing over and over – working hard and long, taking the same bus everyday, dealing with varying but constant issues and stress at work, shopping from the same grocery store week after week, and eating the same food. It is equally boring to find no new activity or experience to enrich my life experiences.

I have no solution to this. Simple and smoothly running life at one hand, and lack of stimulus and excitement at the other hand. We all have similar choices in life I guess.

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The little things in life that gives me joy are there. I still enjoy my plants, the awakening in nature with the arrival of Spring, and having a safe and comfortable life. Asking for more may sound like being ignorant to the realities of life and being ungrateful. Where do we draw this line and when do we need to jump over the line to the other side? Million dollar question.

I have read many times in the past about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. Simply put, it says that in order to move up our activities and priorities, we must first satisfy the basic needs (such as shelter, food, etc.). I think this applies to my life and I am intrigued to see what my next level of needs will be. But first I must stabilize my mental health.

I am happy to say that my anxiety levels are very manageable and even sometimes non-existent. Yet time to time I experience it nevertheless, which makes me feel like my efforts in this area should continue. With this in my mind, I am cautious to move up along my priorities, but I am also continuing to develop into new areas at work. I just wished that I had showed the same interest in my daily personal life and make it a priority to develop my inner world and experiences. Once I have started this, I know that I will have a much satisfying and exciting life, yet its time has not arrived yet. I dislike the fact that my work takes up the majority of my efforts and thoughts. I wonder why I care about it that much?

Mostly because of the stress it gives me and the feeling I have that I can do much better, bigger impacts should I have had a different work environment or position, I long for my retirement. The earliest I can get entitled to retirement is 6 years later. It will not be a great income at that time and later, but at least I will have the freedom to leave this position and explore other things in life. I also will have to keep working to get income. But I do not really worry about it. I hope that life will be on my side and give me a peaceful and comfortable retirement, where I will also have a chance to reach the highest level in Maslow’s hierarchy – Self-actualization.

 

 

 

random thoughts

After a hiatus from blogging, here I am again 🙂

Goodness knows, I missed it!!

The last month has been good to me. I still struggle with frayed nerves and occasional elevated blood pressure; insomnia and stress; but things are looking a little bit better.

I enormously benefited from the worry journal practice and I would recommend it to anyone.

I also do not work all the time and try to take a rest during the weekends. This also includes visits to cafe houses and enjoying my time on Saturdays and Sundays. Life is good.

I reduced my baking bread saga to every two weeks, rather than every week. This gives me a chance to just have one less task to do at the weekends. I bake two loafs at the same time and freeze one of the loafs. When needed, this loaf is as good to go as a fresh one. It works wonderfully for me.

I make a good attempt to take the bus and save money from cab fare. This has had a positive impact on my chequing account. I am excited. This was also topped up with the tax return – I am happy to say that I do not need to use my line of credit anymore and my chequing account is lifting up nice and easy. I feel quite excited about this!

I walk more often now. We have beautiful weather that makes it possible. I feel like energized and the hibernation season has surely ended.

Work is going okay. I still feel strained sometime when faced with difficult decisions. But I move along anyway and guess what – nothing is as bad as it looks.

I relaxed the self-imposed obligations and do not attend the meetings at work unless they are really interesting or absolutely required. This feels good as well.

I say “no” more often as well. I kind of prioritize my time over others’ needs. What a change! What a progress! 🙂

I have taken a couple of days off in the last two weeks – only because I was not feeling well or enthusiastic about going to work. I was worried at first, thinking maybe I had lost my interest at work for good, but I rapidly realized it to be a wrong assumption. I love this – I love loving my job.

Spring is here, which signals a time to close the loose ends and start anew. Last year this feeling had resulted in me getting interested in plants – succulents and cacti to be exact. This year I am not sure what it is gonna be, but I wait life to direct me to my next exciting interest.

I have more positive relationships at work thanks to me getting some rest and things look brighter and more positive.

I have socialized with friends a couple of times and this also had a positive impact on me and how I feel.

My relationship with my family is also much better since new year and I am very grateful for this.

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gif by:https://giphy.com/gifs/pokemon-adorable-spring-TcG7Tw3uq6tJS

 

 

 

 

 

Saturday morning musings

It is a beautiful sunny day that gives warmth to my heart and soothes my mind.

I m enjoying my early morning coffee and thinking about life, mine particularly.

Some things are going well. I am eating better and I bought a number of fresh produce to support my body and mind. There is something nice about taking care of myself and noticing this.

I am excited about the terra cotta pots that I have painted. So many colours! Will my cacti seedlings find their ways to growth and safe transportation to these pots? They say it may take around 6-12 months to reach them a safe size (around half an inch) to pot individually. I hope to be able to see this happening! 🙂 I have currently around 22 seedlings that germinated in the last three weeks.. Yuppiii! It is a unique excitement to look at them in the office every day and seeing how many there are and how they are doing. I have two “albinos” that if I understood correctly cannot produce chlorophyll and are bound to die. I cannot graft them now (which is one of the ways to make them survive an thrive). That annoys me, but it is a way of nature I guess so I will take it.

 

looking at these makes me appreciate the nature even more – never seen cacti seedlings before? I had not and I now I have 🙂

these little green things are the seedlings! after around 3 weeks of planting

The week has been turbulent as per the work but it is over now. We have a lot of issues and delays experienced that are worrying me. But then a new collaboration on a new project of mine is developing, which is exciting. I think I had written this a while ago that around 20% of my efforts turn into a productive one. At least I have that many of the work reaching to some kind of maturation. I made a short talk where I mentioned about our projects and it was kind of nice to see what a great diversity I have in my abilities. I also noticed that one project that I have been talking about for sometime now found its way to being in progress. This is awesome! I have yet another one that I am trying to bring to life. It has been in my list for a couple of years and I think I have found the perfect collaborator to do so. Maybe next year I can start talking about it in more detail as we move with the project. Overall, this kind of talks may take time but they also help me to see what I envision for my work, where my passion is, and how I develop over time.

To be able to recognize the positive side, among all the turbulence in my inner world, is priceless.

Add these to this tulip that dancing with the sun in my yard 🙂

 

 

 

 

Spring and sourdough

The warm weather absolutely makes a difference in the sourdough starter and the loaf.

Here is one of my finest loaves 🙂

 

all the good things – check

• enjoying the good weather and phasing out may times, looking out of the window and the nature around my building – check

Spring is here, friends. It is here. My daffodils are coming out, sky is blue, and there is no snow on the ground. I feel different. Immensely different. Hopeful. Positive. Changing naturally. Enjoying my connection with nature.

Realizing once again that after any dark season will come the light….

They may tell me this millions of times, but unless I came to this realization myself, I would never buy it.

I like the fact that by observing nature I can in fact make reflections on life.

Priceless.

• enjoying the plants on window sill in my office – check

I have three new plants there. They are green. Their pots are nice and colourful. Just another sense of Spring and hope.

• eating apples and being grateful for it, knowing that it is healthy – check
• attending an award ceremony for a team member of mine and being incredibly proud and happy – check!

these are one of my favorite times 🙂 it is all worth it! What an honour. What an excitement 🙂

• munching on food served at the ceremony and not feeling like I must cook at home tonite – check

talking about being lazy or disliking to cook 🙂

• enjoying the warm and smooth breeze in the back yard – check
• being aware and excited about feeling good and positive – check, check, check! 🙂

 

 

 

all the good things – check

• deciding to feel good as nothing much in our daily/work life matters that much – check

I have had a kind of relaxing but also somehow nerve-pitching week. All work related issues of course. On the other hand, weather has been incredibly nice and Spring is really here. I have been feeling awesome about this – there is a real feeling of “hope” and “new beginnings” induced by the arrival of Spring. Should I be wasting these great feelings with focusing on shitty things and behaviors?

No.

Right. 🙂

• walking to the office in the morning – check

I have been walking in the last few days from home to office in the mornings. This feels great really 🙂 Last year was the first time I had made it a routine activity to walk in the mornings (weather permitting). It makes me feel calmer, energetic, happier, and healthier 🙂

• working without much of stress and taking care of a tricky document – check

I knew that it was gonna be tough but I also told myself repeatedly that I would do overcome this too. The last year has been particularly very challenging in terms of work, stress, agitation, changing myself and my work attitude, growing my gray hair (I did not update you on this, did I? Man, I have gray hair alright – looks better somedays than the others, but I am still resisting the idea of dyeing it 🙂 ), and undertaking new professional roles. One of the benefits of it has been to go through really tough time and tough decisions, so no new challenge is a big deal (at least so far) – great! 🙂

• taking my time to enjoy the plants on my floor – check

it has been a pleasure really, looking at all the beautiful plants and flowers that have been around me for so long but have never been cherished or recognized by myself. I feel awesome now that I know each one of them. Plants are amazing, friends. There are so many different types of them, they do survive with little help, and they make one feel great emotions and joy…. Go hug a plant 🙂

• walking to a nearby store and buying groceries – check

there have been many food that I needed and were on sale this week – I feel lucky 🙂 I want to get some succulents nowadays. There were some aleo vera that were on sale in this store, but I did not want to buy them this time. There is a store 30 min away on foot that I can go check sometime to see whether they carry succulents. Even reading about the succulent made me feel excited and happy yesterday 🙂

• drinking fresh kefir – check
• eating good home-made food – check
• making a conscious effort to not dwell on negativity – check
• enjoying a comedy show – check
• having a simple life with minimal expenses today – check, check, check! 🙂

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gif by:https://giphy.com/gifs/flowers-TFA5yuQIIoVUc

all the good things – check

• sleeping well and long, and seeing my dad in one of my dreams – may he rest in peace – check
• having my favorite breakfast with tomato, sourdough bread, and coffee – check
• walking in the yard and seeing a number of bulbs I planted in the Fall sprouting – check 🙂
• working on a new report and almost finishing it – check
• pulling a muscle or somehow aggravating my sciatica – not check! But it has been a much manageable episode so far, and my pain and muscle relaxants were around and effective – so let’s check this one too 🙂
• baking a meat pie and enjoying it – check
• drinking fresh, frothy, and tasty kefir – check
• watching a series that makes me laugh – check
• having the day off – check
• realizing that my sciatica is turning into a chronic problem, unless I take better care of my back and strengthen my core with the exercises given to me. I should also be careful in my movements. This one came without any warning, like the previous ones. It starts usually when I try to pick something from the floor. This must be something I must particularly be careful about. Also, no matter what I must keep having medications available so that I can manage this better. Being aware – check!
• having almost no work-related stress – check 🙂
• having a good weather and feeling the Spring – check
• being excited about the lives in my yard and planing to plant more flowers and bulbs next year – check

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gif by:https://giphy.com/gifs/spring-2009-1Zxx18lm3dqlW

 

 

 

 

 

 

changing for a better me, for a better time

So this past year has been hard on me – it was highly stressful; I worked long hours; I was skeptical and suspicious of my professional future; I have got my blood pressure peaked a couple of times and almost got panic attacks; I have got my self-confidence shook very very strongly; and I have mostly ignored my daily, personal, simple, and frugal life so that I can channel my energy and time to my work-related efforts and use my money to comfort myself during this hard time.

The hardship started last summer when I realized that our work-place was getting more and more toxic (mostly because of financial issues) and they were openly making comments about firing people. How demoralizing? Very indeed. I worked so hard and did so much for my work and this organization that after all of these, if we get this kind of treatments instead of appreciation, it was time to think about what to do with my future.

• This was one of the nicest things I have got out of this experience – that I was better than this and I deserved recognition by my work-place, not depreciation like they tend to favor.
• I also did not want to spend my time trying to prove myself over and over. All these years and after all I have done, what else do they want?? (they do want lots of thing, by the way. It is never enough for them).
• Most importantly, I realized that I was better than my current work-environment let me be and I was longing for developing further and reaching my personal and professional potential.
• I applied for a job, for which I did not receive any response back. But that is okay. The important thing was I had started to react to my work/position here and I was being detached from it. This was wonderful – I never thought that I would leave my current job. Great experience!
• I worked harder and on different topics, which took time and required a lot of courage. I did these. They have not yielded outputs yet, but I am hopeful and determined that they will.
• I took new roles. That meant lost of time and reading/discussions/practicing to learn new things and taking new risks. It has been tough, but I am moving on smoothly.
• I exercise new leadership roles and I am developing and discovering about myself in such roles. While this is emotionally challenging (a lot is expected from leaders and knowledge and experience together are required for effective leadership), there is so much I learn about myself that it is amazing 🙂

I also aimed to change myself.

• I realized I did not want to do what others were in fact supposed to do (my job requires a lot of this if we want things to move – sad truth is that as a project leader you shoulder a lot of the burden others should) and starting to say no. I first said no to reviewing a report, then another, and then another. I try to save my time for the things I want to deal with now.
• I raised concerns and demanded better working conditions when my work place came to me with a silly tasks to be done (which can be done by someone else pretty easily).
• I started to distance myself from the colleagues who ate up not only my time, but also my nerves with their negative, demanding, and belittling attitudes. This is one of my most significant victories….
• I started raising my voice when my friends or colleagues unfairly criticized me – they think twice now I guess. I found that generalization is very easy and people tend to do this pretty frequently. However, seeing the view from the other side is necessary to understand things better. Many people miss that. I am vocal about this now when it comes to me or my work. I won’t take unnecessary and unfounded criticism that easily.
• I say no to socials with people whom I do not wish to spend yet another minute. 
• I started to value my time, energy, well-being, professional efforts, skills, and performance more than ever (talking about confidence that my work-place was trying to diminish with the talks of firing us.. What a nice turn of self-opinion? 🙂 )
• I started to be a little bit more smart and took steps to strengthen my position in my work-place while also developing myself further. I have two positions at my union’s committees and I am not only learning about our rights as workers, but also how to support myself and other workers against any organizational or professional issues. I feel safer and well supported. And in many ways, also protected. I will continue to work in one of these committees in the coming years, which I know is very beneficial for me. It is like a shield that can defer many silly attempts on me and other vulnerable colleagues. I am loving this.
• I recently realized that I was very content and pleased with my efforts, hard-work, development, and changes. With this comes confidence and shutting down any effort to belittle me or my work. This is, my friends, priceless.

After all, this hard time is turning into a better and more pleasing experience. Like winter ending and Spring flourishing.

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gifs by:https://giphy.com/gifs/across-the-universe-6g9fN5IYV9Oc8;https://giphy.com/gifs/prepareforwinter-game-of-thrones-snow-3ohzdUi5U8LBb4GD4s;

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

all the good things – check

 

1. sleeping well and calm – check

2. getting up at a time good enough to catch the bus on time – check

3. working well in the morning, getting stressed at noon, but keeping the work till evening – check

4. almost being finished with some work that has been on my list for so long that its heaviness has been extreme – I want it to be done. Hopefully soon 🙂 – check

5. enjoying the warm and bright day and getting a feeling of Spring – check

6. walking back to home in the afternoon – check

7. saving around 20 bucks from cab fare by taking the bus or walking today – check

8. doing grocery shopping and appreciating everything I purchased – check.

I have got a big bag of potatoes and lemons. I consume lemon quite a bit, potato – not so much. But it is more or less durable and potato meals, soup, and salad are all very enjoyable food. I am feeling good about having food the next few weeks and I feel quite abundant 🙂

9. eating fish and a big healthy salad  – check.

Lately I have been trying to award myself by eating fish or any other fried food (before someone starts about the unhealthy habit of fried food; for some reason they make me feel good the next day. once a week should be okay, right?)

10. Keeping calm – check.

It is strange to remember that in January I have had almost panic attacks. A very stressful time it was. I have come so far, slowly but steadily. I am very grateful  – check!

11. Finishing the lose ends of many small tasks and reports, and feeling energized about this  – check.

I have a number of small things to finish this weekend. Once they are done, I hope I will start bigger and newer projects. It is so exciting!  – check

12. Did I mention that I said “no” again yesterday? Face-to-face this time.

A colleague of mine thinks that she can interrupt me anytime while working alone or  with others to ask or talk about what she needs or wants. How is this acceptable? yesterday I was working in my office with a team member of mine and that person just stepped in my office and start talking and asking me things, with no acknowledgment of my team member or us being working on something. Very rude, self-centered, and selfish. I decided it was the time that I take control and indicate need to respect my team member, and I asked the person to talk later. Can you imagine? I did it! And I did not even feel bad after that!! I am on the right track, my friends 🙂 -check, check, check!

Four seasons

Fall is upon us. It is my favorite season.

The season of energy and renewal (summer) has come to an end, leaving its place to this gorgeous season.

Fall always remind me of “closure”; evaluating and finishing things, even they are only thoughts, and move on with a period of quietness and break, and then bury or leave those that do not serve you anymore during the hibernation season of winter.

Winter is a season of survival, though. It is often harsh where I am and our daily lives are somehow dictated by the weather; will there be snow today? Will I shovel? Will there be a snow day? Can I really go to that store to pick up something? Will my power be restored, if it is cut due to some reason? What if I want to walk but cannot make it because the sidewalks are full of snow banks, or even worse, ice? Am I warm enough?Winter thus makes me feel like I must rather focus on the physical world than my inner world. 

Spring, on the other hand, is a kind of time of re-birth; the time of new ideas, new adventures, new plans, new hope…. There is something awesome about the awakening of the nature that inevitably makes me feel like now I can do what I have not done or could not do before.

The cycling nature of “nature”, whether that is snow, plants, trees, or flowers that flourish, animals populating, or simply changing temperature and daylight, is thus a reflection of our lives.

Maybe our lives is a reflection of nature?

I do not know really.

But we all are connected.

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gifs by:https://giphy.com/gifs/season-fall-tQkTjNpFY8Bu8;https://giphy.com/gifs/snow-winter-8uBI4YjfZWXlu;https://giphy.com/gifs/yevbel-l0G175gKdlhEhssDK;https://giphy.com/gifs/flowers-timelapse-rbEQ5LkMhxUvm

 

random thoughts

I keep waking up early and going to office by 8 am. Our administrative person at the office has joked today by asking whether I slept at the office 🙂 She said that I was there when she left yesterday and I was there this morning when she arrived 🙂 I told her that I think I am getting old – they say we sleep less as we age 🙂 (is that true, by the way??)

I also keep walking to the office, even though I find that my mind is quite occupied while walking. It is usually very quiet in the morning and there is not much of a traffic. I think I am really lucky to live so close to my work place. 

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It was a very busy day at the office today. I was drained in the evening but I was also happy that things moved well today. Tomorrow I have a busy schedule, and possibly Thursday too. If I remember correctly I have a free schedule on Friday, which is awesome. I for some reason thought that I have had the next Monday off (the Victoria day). It turned out I was wrong. Nope – I gotta work that day. Argh… I was so looking forward to working in the yard this long weekend.. Everybody does… It is the Victoria Day! It is the beginning of Spring and gardening!

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I will have two friends, a couple, over for a dinner on Sunday. I have a list of food to purchase and cook on Sunday. It is gonna be fun and lovely. Having the dinner on Sunday rather than Saturday was a good idea as it will be give me ample time to shop, clean the house, and cook without rushing. This will reduce my cooking stress :))))) I am budgeting 100 bucks for this dinner (including the drinks). I am positive that it will work out just fine. Thank goodness that these people are incredibly lovely and down to earth people. So it will not be a problem to feed them without having too much of fancy stuff on the table. Such people are always welcome in my home.

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I feel like my kefir grains are getting bigger. I will take pictures tomorrow, and then again at the weekend, to document the development in grains. I note that the milk is only lightly fermented in 24 hours even though the soury-kefir-y taste is recognizable at the end of this time period. I wonder whether the taste will get stronger over time. Maybe I need to use a larger container and more milk to ferment… Anyways; my grains are still young. I am sure I will know more about them in the future. For now, I am excited to be arriving home every day, and checking, drinking, and replacing my kefir 🙂

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This is it for now, friends. I hope you have had a great Tuesday and are having a wonderful evening!

 

gifs by:https://giphy.com/gifs/beginners-Ta2ARjUgmwCTS;https://giphy.com/gifs/perfectloops-chef-melons-demgpwJ6rs2DS;https://giphy.com/gifs/alice-in-wonderland-flowers-spring-1tOuimUZbIeS4;https://giphy.com/gifs/cheezburger-walking-bro-czXz2EONeI2NW

Spring plans

I used to have posts about the things I would like to change or implement in my life. The majority of the time they did work really well and I have implemented them in my life. I do not think I have done this for some time. So let’s roll again 🙂

1. Eat at least 10 food that I have not eaten in the last one week. I keep eating the same things over and over; apple, tomato, onion, herbs, milk, yogurt, beans, cheese, and eggs are the regularly consumed food. While they are more or less healthy, I am afraid I am missing the opportunity to benefit from other veggies/fruits/dry food. In the past whenever I recognized this, I aimed every week to purchase and eat at least 6 different things that I have not eaten within the last week. This time I would like to increase this to 10 so that I can challenge myself (always fun!).

2. Consume the pantry food that are older than a year. I know what they are; rice, bulghur, and wild rice. I am not into rice that much, but I can make an effort to consume more of it. I will get creative with the others. It will be great to use them up so that I can get fresh ones 🙂

3. Thrift shop for blouses and shirts for a renewed wardrobe this Spring :).  I want to budget 50 bucks to keep visiting the thrift stores and buy blouses and shirts. I am happy with my latest purchases and I have been meaning to renew my shirts for some time (many of them have been in use for at least one year). Change is always good and I am discovering that certain styles are fitting me well. It is exciting 🙂

4. Declutter the wardrobe. After I purchase new tops, I want to remove from my wardrobe those that I do not wish to wear; some can be modified (I hope I can make this with my sewing machine),  donate (those that are in good shape), or dump (those that are old and battered). Since this has been a wish of mine for so long, I think it will feel awesome 🙂

5. Clean the yard and plant veggies/seeds. I do not know how the previous owners managed, but the yard is uneven which requires me to fix it. Also there are broken glass bottle and plate pieces everywhere. I cleaned quite a bit in the past but this year I want to do a better job. I also want to grow herbs and other veggies. Spring is almost here, so I can be busy working at the yard the next few months.

6. Lose another 10 pounds. I managed to lose 15 pounds in Fall. I gained 5 pounds back but I am still keen about losing a little bit more of fat. I know morning walks from home to office as well as eating lots of raw veggies and not eating after 8 pm coincided with my weight loss. So I am interested in replicating these behavior and hope that I can lose another 10 pounds 🙂

7. Drink more tea and reduce coffee consumption. I increased my coffee consumption too much. This coincided with me having my weekend breakfast at home rather than at a cafe. I drink around 6 cups of coffee per day now, which does not sound good to me. I do not experience physiological problems like palpitations, but nothing of too much can be good. So from tomorrow on I will focus on drinking 3 cups of coffee per day at most. The rest of the time I can drink tea. Good plan 🙂

8. Get a new hobby or activity that I do not usually do. Whether it is a sitting meditation or hiking the trails, I do not know.  I have read somewhere about “nature bathing” or something like that. Basically it means sitting in a park or around trees, and exposing our body and mind to the natural beauty and freshness around us. I am looking forward to finding a park and doing this this summer.

9. Surprise myself :). I would like to surprise myself by doing things that I would not normally do. I believe this would help me break my routine habits, or see things differently. No idea how I could do this but having it in the list means I will revisit the idea time to time. Who knows maybe I could come up with something interesting 🙂

10. Sew. I could not focus on sewing yet……. I have the machine, notions and fabric, so all I need is a new project that will help me get excited. Ideas?

on thrift stores, spring, and gardening

I continue to be excited after the thrift store treasure I hunted yesterday 🙂

I keep thinking; is it becoming more of a normal for me to shop at thrift stores? 

There are two thrift/donation stores at walking distance that I seem to visit frequently only lately. I am not comfortable with the idea of buying shoes, undies, trousers/shorts, sleep wear, or any other personal items (like towels or bed linens),  but shirts, blouses, jackets, sewing notions/fabrics, and books are okay.

I still seem to be reluctant “to be seen shopping at these stores” (talking about social pressure that I need to deal with in my own mind…) and to buy things that will give me an urge of “cleaning intensely’ before use. No offense meant to anyone with the latter point – I know it is just a personal thing; realistically any of the items at this stores can be cleaned and used, and I have not heard of a case that a serious harm occurred because of an item purchased from a thrift store. In contrast, in terms of limiting waste, recycling, reusing, and protecting not only the natural resources but also the unfortunate and poor, I am clear that it is the most responsible thing to do. Also, the variety is much better than any store we have around here and prices are very, very reasonable. I have not passed that “cleaning” stuff just yet. Anyways.

I was thinking; then why did I not do that before and shop at thrift stores?  

I have no answer to that, other than the fact that I think it just fits my current budget and life-style much better than before and I do see an additional personal benefit in terms of the excitement of browsing the stores (there is always something new), finding something that I can really like (and I mean that – the three blouses I purchased lately are incredibly exciting for me to have and wear), and the ability to purchase them without breaking my current lean spending plans (three blouses cost me 13 bucks so far….).

When was the last time I was so excited about something that cost me so little?

You got it.

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It is a kind of gray and rainy day. Nevertheless, I enjoyed a short walk in the morning. The winter has been hard on us but nature is awakening with trees getting greener and the air feeling a little bit more fresh, more Springy… I am really excited about walking becoming so easy and second nature to me. 

I want to do better with my yard this Spring. I would love to have a herb garden and some nice flowers. We will see how it goes, but today I am proud to say that I planted 6 potato which had sprouted in my kitchen. My mom advised me to cut them in 2 or 4 and plant in the yard 5-10 cm below the surface. I have done this and i hope that I will see them grow into more potatoes 🙂 I have also planted the roots of fresh mint that I had purchased this week. I really would love them to survive and thrive – so far I was only able to grow mint and peas in the last 3 years…..

Let’s cross the fingers my friends 🙂

 

gifs by:https://giphy.com/gifs/flowers-spring-6vg3kRY0Jk3Go;https://giphy.com/gifs/tmi0F8ojXMvvO

random thoughts

The entire week was warm and with blue skies. I think the spring is coming. I think the winter has left us. I think things will be only better after this 🙂

I was at a boring social yesterday with a colleague of mine and I went to office and had a very productive day today. So, if you had asked me which one made me happy, you know it is the day at the office. Honestly, the lack of distraction is the best thing I can have in my office. I left the office feeling quite happy about myself and the work I have done. I think I have resolved a couple of road blocks in this project so far and from now on I can only move faster and better. This feels amazing 🙂  

I am really happy about this.

 

random thoughts

I always found March-May kind of tricky; they feel like spring but then they are not. As you can guess, yes we are expecting another snow storm tonite. I am sure it is not going to be a snow day, but boy, do I really want the freedom to walk without thinking about the snow banks or ice? Well, looks like I will wait for sometime for that.

Nevertheless, I walked this morning and it was a pleasant walk. I had my dental cleaning appointment, which went well. Only that I have been cranky lately and that meant I was not complying with everything. For example, my dental hygienist suggested that I have an additional X-ray, which I refused. She might have had a good reason, but I am not getting an X-ray unless it is absolutely necessary or recommended by a dentist. I am proud of myself for saying NO, which is easier when I am not in the mood. Also, it helped that the hygienist made me extra annoyed by asking all bunch of personal questions, spending time like this, and making me pay for an extra time. Next time, I am making clear that I am keeping the time to make sure I will not be charged more than the required, especially while also being subject to a ridiculous conversation. So, that was how I started my day….

Anyways; after that it was better. First, I felt hungry and bought some muffins/baked goods and ate them with great appetite and enjoyment 🙂 Since I usually do not have breakfast, this was a nice change that I appreciated very much – I can do this more often 🙂

The rest of the day was not eventful, for which I am grateful. I walked back home and prepared myself a healthy meal. I still have 10 pounds to shed (that I gained lately), which bothers me. Yesterday, for example I was miserable thinking about it…. Yet, I want to feel positive, rather than negative, and believe in myself that I will take the necessary steps to start removing extra fat from my body… This evenings’ meal was a good example of healthy meal (cracked wheat salad with lots of onion, tomato, celery, pepper, and parsley 🙂
Hope I will keep this determination up 🙂

gifs by:http://giphy.com/gifs/jerseydemic-26xBwFcBGPLNfGbkY;http://giphy.com/gifs/leslie-jones-by-isa-s41e13-Av72crBYNiEYo;http://giphy.com/gifs/cat-loop-relaxed-wu29mJA7MXBzG;http://giphy.com/gifs/yay-brad-pitt-gif-pounds-VGJPsBvlsHDyw

random thoughts

I cannot believe we have reached to the end of February!

This year has been passing quite fast. It is hard for me to believe that it has been two months since the holidays when I had 2 weeks off.. Wow! Two months…. It feels like yesterday!

The nice thing is that the three months of our winter has passed. The Spring will be here in May – that feels good 🙂

We will also have the daylight saving times reversed sometime in March – that means we are looking for lighter and brighter days ahead. That also feels good 🙂

This winter has been harsh here in Canada, my friends. We have had a lot of snow days 🙂 It has also been interesting: for the first time in my life here (around 8-9 years), I have walked in the morning to the office from home in winter. I think I have done that in January first and, now, whenever I can, I am aiming to do so (like today)…

What a sense of freedom it gives me and what a great way to relax my mind and work my body. I am awed that I am not afraid of ice or falling this winter (which was the reason that stopped me from walking in winter at the first place).. Change is always possible I guess….

That experience also tells me to question our assumptions and decisions, even though they are comfortable. Perhaps they can be re-assessed and reversed, and the new normal would turn out to be exciting as my winter walking adventure 🙂

Nowadays I particularly feel like walking. I blame partly boredom and partly the fact that I get up early, and as such, end up with having lots of time at my hand 🙂 I walked last Saturday and Sunday around 2 hours each day. And I am planning to walk similarly this weekend. I hope I can make this. My plan is to walk to the shopping mall on Saturday, just to grab a couple of tubes of yogurt 🙂 Let’s see whether the weather will be permissive (if it is raining or heavily snowing, I will not certainly do this 🙂 ) 

Since I walked this morning and did not take the bus, today was also a day that I spent nothing! 🙂

Is that not awesome 🙂

I never thought that that would be possible, but now I can see that I was not thinking careful enough – it certainly is possible. Anyone can do this “no spending days”. Give it a try, my friends, and let us know how you feel. It certainly feels weird and sweet at the same time 🙂 🙂 

gif by:http://giphy.com/gifs/europeana-winter-Q3cJvgxtBUtqg

 

random thoughts

It is a warm and humid day – it started raining in the evening and that feels just like the springs I know. One moment warm and the next moment it slightly cools down with the rain. All is welcome 🙂

I am happy with the work I have done today. I came home in the afternoon to work without distraction and it proved to be a good decision.

I have a new flower bloomed in my yard 🙂 it is hidden in between the leaves of a kind of large green plant. I did not plant it there, so I am assuming it somehow got in there. I also see many small plants here and there. As soon as I understand what they are i will either plug them out or let them grow. They are kind of under a tree from next door and I am assuming that they are the seeds from that tree that germinated. But I cannot be sure yet – I am wishfully waiting.

It is official that I have a pest problem…. Disgusting….. I found new poops in my kitchen counter that make me want to puke… I am calling the pest control company tomorrow – hopefully they will be able to give me some baits and this problem will be resolved soon. I am pretty much annoyed but then I know that I am doing okay in terms of taking steps: I have sticky bands everywhere, poison in two places, electronic repellents (which I think are not working as I found the poops close to them….), i placed all food in cabinets into glass jars or in the fridge, and I try to show up in the kitchen time to time to make sure that they know they are not the only thing there and behave maybe. … Maybe… I can only hope 🙂 I know this is not a pleasant topic to write about – bear with me. I just feel better facing the issue, that is all.

In contrast to almost all of the mornings in my life, this morning I have got up feeling good…. You know what I think is the reason? I filled my mind with positive thoughts right before I went to bed by writing my joy journal. I am curious to see whether I can replicate this feeling tomorrow and the days after that. If I can see that is the reason, then, my friends, I may have just found the key to happiness and less crankiness 🙂

That would be just awesome 🙂

 

Excitement

Excitement…

Excitement is an integral part of life, is it not?

I feel much better and energized when I am excited about something. Maybe it is my saving and budgeting efforts. Maybe getting stuff on sale with really good deals. Maybe it is baking a great bread and making plans for the next ones. Maybe it is walking in the mornings or finding a great book every once a while. Maybe it is accomplishing something at work, working efficiently, and getting good news/recognition. Maybe it is the nice weather and awakening of the nature with the coming of Spring. Maybe it is the coming vacation to be spent with my family. Maybe it is blogging and knowing that I am a part of a meaningful, informative, and supportive community.

Whatever it is, I increasingly realize that excitement is a good thing for me.

My budget has always excited me, occupied my mind with its ups and downs, and with its progressive and nowadays stable nature. To tell you the truth now that I am spending much less than before, and know and apply saving strategies that work for me, I am not as excited about it as before. OK….

Books still excite me, but I have got used to be on shopping ban for them and the fact that I have many books at home to be read, including the GRMM’s A Song of Ice and Fire, I am not really excited by the idea of buying books. The only book I can buy is about how to make bread – that is all. And I guess I will wait till my vacation to buy one or two.

Work has been exciting today as I could work efficiently and with less than regular distraction. I am moving a good project and that feels good. Also, my colleague from yesterday and I interacted quite positively today, which removes any stress about our potential conflict. All to be grateful for and yes I am excited about these.

I do not wish to walk in the mornings nowadays and I am okay with this. I know when I feel so, I will walk. I am not pressuring myself and I kind of take it as it happens. I am also excited about this lack of pressure and comfort I provide to myself.

Spring, of course, is amazing and I continue to be excited about it. I gave water this evening too to the seeds that I planted at the weekend. I also am happy to see my rosemary is looking considerably healthier that the weekend, thanks to watering it every morning. i am excited about this, too.

I am yet to feel excited about my vacation as I am more focused on finishing things at work prior to leaving. I usually start feeling excitement the day of my travel – I cannot wait for that. there is something awesome about leaving everything behind and taking a break to focus on what is important in my personal life for a change.

I am excited about trying breads, yet I develop that fear of running out of ideas or recipes to try. I know this is not a realistic fear as I am sure there are tons of recipes out there. But, I guess what this tells me is that I like to figure things out, try and experiment. Once I figure things out, then they are not that interesting anymore. So I constantly come up with new plans – like making my own pasta (which I will try some other time). I am also excited about the prospect of purchasing cookie sheets, dough scrapper, and a nice mixing bowl.

Luckily, I get to search for and identify the items on sale each week by checking three store in my close vicinity – that excitement is thus permanent.

I realized that anticipation seems to be a common theme in my bread-making, planted seeds, work, and budget adventures. An interesting driver of excitement.

I realized that once I got something integrated in my life, like my budget, I am not that excited any more.

I realized that some of my excitements are temporary, such as Spring and my rosemary.

I realized that maybe that is why I need to keep look for other activities/things/hobbies to keep myself excited.

Oh well..

Nonetheless, I would like to remind myself that I have time and resources such as internet – I can figure them out.

Who knows what they will be and how they will change my life. Now this idea is exciting!

🙂

random thoughts

photo credit: Rude (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Forget_me_not.jpg)

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Today is off, but I went to the office nevertheless. It was magical – it reminded me how well I can do without distractions of emails, phones, meetings, and just people around. In 4 hours I have done days of work… I am very grateful.

The day is warm and shinny with a blue sky. I could see all my neighbours out working in their yards, chatting with other neighbours, and having barbecue parties 🙂 It is as if not only the nature has awaken by Spring, but people too.

Honestly we deserved that after our long winter. This winter was not harsh as it was the last two years. But nonetheless, I am sure all residents are cherishing its end 🙂

I am spending the afternoon at home with listening to calming music and reflecting on  the productive work today and the beauty of Spring. My lilacs are blooming and so are the forget-me-nots. Forget-me-not flower has rapidly become my favorite a couple of years ago when I purchased my home. These little blue  flowers are so elegant, so cheerful, and so beautiful. I feel lucky to have them right in my yard.

Wishing everyone a great Spring day 🙂

joy journal – May 22, 2016

1. I am grateful for sleeping well.

2. I am grateful for buying myself a coffee and enjoying it. I must admit – it is becoming more and more boring. I buy the coffee and then sat at a table for a few minutes, and then grab the coffee and walk back home. I wonder; do I really need this? Perhaps, I should stop buying coffee and a french press and start brewing my own at home. I can purchase aromatic coffee to motivate myself.

3. I am grateful for cleaning the yard a little bit more and planting seeds 🙂 I planted parsley, basel, and sweet pumpkin seeds. I also have had seeds for some flowers that I have no idea what they are; they are planted too. Exciting 🙂

4. I am grateful for meeting with a neighbour while I was working on the yard. It is an elderly lady, who was very nice and kind. She even offered to give me some flowers as she was trying to thin them down. If that happens, I will be very happy 🙂 what a lovely lady !

5. I am grateful for giving water to the seeds in the afternoon. It took me maybe 8 trips to the back of the yard with a pitcher, but I am happy that they could get this essential element. I must repeat this every day till they germinate and possibly after that. It will be so exciting to see the little sprouts 🙂

6. I am grateful for putting all dry food, including spices, that were preserved in nylon bags, in to safer containers. I am not happy with the fact that I found some pest activity in one of my cabinets. I have not had pest problems lately and I was pretty  happy with this (I had one 4 – 5 years ago, which had bothered me a lot. these things called mice can get in everywhere and it takes weeks to get rid of them even with a proper pest control). I decided I could not risk anything. So I used my glass cans for many items, a large oven dish with lid to preserve my flour bag in, and an old canister to save the spices. I now have only a small amount of sugar in paper bag and all the rest is protected. My, please do not let these pest remain here. I put sticky pads everywhere – it is disgusting to see mice catch on them but it is more disgusting to have mice at home….

7. I am grateful for baking two loafs of bread today. One of them, the one with the rosemary and green olives, was amazing! I could not taste the plain bread yet, which I was really looking forward to – maybe tomorrow. I will freeze some of them as I have baked 3 breads this weekend and I do not want to end up eating all of them.

8. I am grateful for relaxing today. I have not thought about work and I do not need to think about it till the morning.

9. I am grateful for cooking a nice dish today; dried eggplants with rice. Yummy 🙂

10. I am grateful for deciding to shop next week and purchase red mulch to help decorate my yard and to cover some problematic areas. I think this is the best decision to fix the yard. I am sure it will look a lot better. I also hope to buy yard plants and flowers. next weekend will be exciting 🙂

11. I am grateful for my back feeling good and not being problematic. I have been feeling good in the last few weeks and am not doing my exercises frequently. I liked the exercises; they were good for me. But they were nevertheless one additional item on my to-do list, which means an additional strain on my mood. So far, so good 🙂

12. I am grateful for having the night to myself – I plan to read interesting blogs and watch TV shows.

13. I am grateful for the nice weather. I kept my window open for many hours today too to let the fresh air in – what a great feeling 🙂

14. I am grateful for being grateful 🙂

The Spring is here

This week is feeling like a real Spring 🙂

It is warm, sunny, and more importantly we are aware that the Spring is here because of the May 24 long weekend 🙂

There is something about this long weekend that tells everyone that things have changed; you can see everyone in their yards planting. I start my grass cutting adventure in this weekend. I also plant seeds.

Today I cut the grass and it made me tired as usual 🙂 quite an exercise – I should be grateful but honestly my arms are aching 🙂

Today I also started to think about what exactly to plant this year. Last time I planted around 50 bulbs, 8 of which had grown but could not give flowers. I checked them today and there was no sign of growing this year. I hope though they will show up. I really would like that.

Last year I had planted seeds for a number of herbs; parsley, mint, basel, oregano… None had germinated….. which is frustrating. I really would love to have some herbs in my yard. I had mint last year; I had stuck the stems of fresh mints I had purchased from the store and they actually grew and made me happy. Do you think they will show up this year? They say mint is quite a versatile plant. I hope the roots are still there and healthy.

I decided to try the herb seeds this year again. I now have some parsley seeds getting ready for tomorrow – I heard somewhere to put the seeds in water a day or so before planting to help them germinate. I am trying it today and tomorrow I hope to have parsley, basil, and some mint seeds to relocate into my yard 🙂

Exciting times 🙂

Welcome Spring!

random thoughts

It was another high-effort day where many things were taken care of.

I cannot complain as long as things are moving. They are; I am just in the constant rush and stressed as a result. My neck is tight and I am longing for some kind of relaxation. While I am watching a TV series right now, I realize that my mind is busy and chatty. The best way to relieve this is to write about it. So here I am 🙂

When I make a conscious decision to leave things behind and enjoy the moment (just like right now) it miraculously works. I can start thinking about the work tomorrow. But right now is mine. Let me be in the moment….

This last sentence made me remember my yoga/stretching classes. How lovely, relaxing, and joyful they were. It is so unfortunate that they were not good to my back, or I could not know how to protect my back. The joy I have got out of these classes will always be cherished. At least I know that there are things in life that made me feel good.

I walked this morning too. The route from home to office does not look too long anymore. I am so grateful for my elevated energy levels – thanks to them I am feeling energetic and can walk without complaining or feeling strained. I feel like I have got my youth back 🙂 And that feels pretty amazing!

Today was a little bit chilly than yesterday, but the sky was blue and clear and I am certain that the spring is here 🙂 There is something magical about Spring; it is the time of renewal, hope, energy, nature, and joy….. I would love to plant plants in my yard but I am not sure whether I can find time to do so before my vacation this summer. It would be great if I had committed to it – my lilacs will blossom soon and the grass will shoot up, too. I must confess I am not looking forward to cutting the grass. It takes time and tires my arms quite a bit. Its scent also makes my stomach turn a little bit. too. But it at least give me a chance to be outside with nature and feeling “talked to and understood” by my trees.

We have a social at the work place this friday and I was wondering whether I could bake something for it (rather than buying). I found a couple of “tea biscuit” recipes that I thought were just perfect; it looks easy and simple to make the biscuits. I would like to try them on thursday night. Let’s hope I will be successful 🙂

 

 

random thoughts

It was a go-go kind of day, with many things happening at work and taken care of with a rush that still makes me dizzy. But at least it is over for today, so I can set this feeling aside.

After my baguette fiasco yesterday I have had that constant feeling of making a bread. It is as if if I can make one, then I will have confidence and can try and achieve baking beautiful loafs. I even considered it for tonite, but decided not to – I will wait for the weekend. more excitement this way 🙂

In terms of my budget, I have done really well so far this week, which is very pleasing. I did not have to buy too much of grocery and I catched up some sales. I also used the points of a loyalty card this past week, which reduced my grocery bill. I believe every month, I can get some cash back (to be used in grocery shopping) using the loyalty card. It can be a small amount but sure makes a difference in my finances and life. While I still have 3 more days to go before my weekly budget ends, I am hopeful that I will be able to keep up my expenses low this week.

This is good because I have a couple of socials to attend and some social expenses to cover in the coming weeks. While they will cost me some money, I am also excited to be a part of them. So all will be fine.

I have a family vacation coming up and I wanted to save quite a bit prior to it. I may not have saved as much as I wished, but I guess what I have is good enough to cover for expenses in a comfortable way. The family vacation also means that I will be away from the work. This can explain the rush and stress I have been having lately. I would like to start the vacation without thinking too much about the work. So things are better taken care of until then.

On the positive side, I walked this morning from home to the office. We have had an exceptional day today, with really warm Spring temperatures. It is kind of ironic that I had to spend such a beautiful day inside my office. But hey, at least I have seen it and got excited about Spring 🙂 So walking in the morning and then in the afternoon were very delightful. I hope to do the same tomorrow. Hopefully there will be no rain tomorrow 🙂

My back has been feeling good in the last two days. Last week, I have had back pains and I was worried. So I decided to give my back a rest and did not do my exercises since friday. Surprisingly that seems to be working so far 🙂 I did a little bit arm work with dumbbells – I like the feeling and the obvious tone improvement in my arm muscles. This is pretty much becoming a regular exercise for me. the trick is to do light work without straining myself a lot or taking too long of a time; then I have the motivation to keep going. Little bit of it is better than none of it 🙂

I was thinking today why and how the gym culture has evolved. Is it because we became too dependent on technology and cars etc. and forgotten to work our body in a natural way? Or did we get obsessed with how we look? Maybe we become more competitive and feeling the need to shape our body and feel good about ourselves?  maybe it is what everybody else is doing so we feel the pressure to do attend a gym… Is it not ironic that we have walking bands in the gyms, countless of them, while we can walk during the day? Have you ever gone to gym with cars?

Those who live in unsafe areas and totally dependent on driving their cars to go around can disregard this last question. Many of my friends in the US have had this one reason for not walking on the streets. It is amazing and sometime quite sad how our living environment can shape our lives, life styles, and needs.

I will finish my random thougths post today by noting the Fort McMurray wildfire that is affecting Alberta and close communities. It is a disaster that I cannot even comprehend; sending my best wishes to fellow Canadians living in that area.

random thoughts

A beautiful half-Spring day 🙂

Half, because it was still requiring me to wear my hat, scarf, and gloves, but not my winter coat or boots. Yay!

I have had a good time having my breakfast and then working at home for some time. Since the weather was so nice, I decided to go treat myself with another cup of coffee. While I was there, I also got myself a nice piece of sweets. My first treats in quite some time – I am glad I have done this! 🙂

I then decided to check a nearby arts market and bought a nice photo depicting a couple of old but colourful wooden doors. The colours reminded me Spring and I must have had it. I am glad I did give myself this particular treat, too 🙂

With the newly found joy, I walked around. There are really nice houses in my neighbourhood, some of which are quite old. Their unique characters always attract my attention. It was great to enjoy my walk, too 🙂

I decided that lightness I experienced was amazing and making my walk easier. So, after I came home, I removed the extra items from my purse. Now it is lighter, not like 10 pounds 🙂

After that I continued to work, and talked to a few people on the phone. It was fun, too 🙂

My appetite is good today. I am actually craving for sweets but I am determined to not go buy a big box of cake. I am not sure what will curb my appetite, but I am glad that I have had a green salad and a noddle soup prepared by beef-bone-stock; I feel like taking care of my body better today 🙂

I have the entire night to myself and that feels good, too 🙂

random thoughts

A cold and snowy day!

April and Spring…Yeah right 🙂

The scenery from my office window was amazing with snow covering the trees and roofs of the houses. I must say I will miss snow. The truth is the winters here are so long that after a while it kinda becomes the “normal” weather. It is enjoyable. It is beautiful. It does not bother anymore. Spring and summer become distant realities, if not dreams…. And with June, we kind of notice the change, the warm temperatures, and maybe more than that, the awakening of the nature. Spring, after all the snow and dark days, really surprises me every year. Very interesting experience indeed…..

When I was in Toronto, winters were colder, but the sky was always blue and clear. It did make a huge positive difference in my mood. So when I moved here, more than the huge amount of snow dumped every winter, it was the lack of sunlight that bothered me. After all these years, I might have just adapted to the lack of sunlight. Or, it may be the vitamin D supplements I started to take in the last 6-7 months that makes me not requiring sunlight as before… Hard to know.

I worked long hours today, mostly at home. Until 8 pm I was busy with documents. I feel good working and taking care of stuff, especially if they are going well. Today was just one of these days. Now I will focus on relaxing my mind by watching TV shows or reading blogs. I gotta slow down my mind to go to sleep.

I noticed that in the last few years, I do not require 9 hours of sleep anymore. It is maybe more like 7 hours. I had read somewhere that as we age, we would need less sleep (since our physical activity levels would reduce over time). I do not want to believe in it as I am reacting to aging 🙂 but, no – seriously – my activity levels did not change in the last few years, so I am not sure whether it is the reason behind my reduced sleep needs. But I must say this gives me more time and an opportunity to go to sleep late. So, I cannot complain 🙂

Have a great night everyone 🙂

random thoughts

A warm April day; it made my sweated while walking 30 min to a nearby store. My windows are open right now, too. It has been like this in the last few hours. Letting fresh air in is a great feeling. I almost feel like we are about to welcome Spring. If not that, then we should be certainly saying goodbye to old man winter.

Where I am April and May are usually tricky months, as their features are right in between Winter and Spring. One moment it is warm and you kind of think that you will not see snow till the next November or something, and 5 min later, it can be a freezing rain. Rain is a big thing, too as it can start showering anytime. Day or night. You may see the bright and blue sky and feel like walking outdoors, only to find yourself needing your winter coat and scarf because it turns being windy all of a sudden.

I have noticed this pattern a while ago. Prior to that I always got psychologically annoyed by the loss of my Spring hopes during March and April. Now, I am more knowledgeable; I do not get excited until after May. The last weekend of May is when we all start to work on our yards and plant flowers and bushes. Until then, we do not even cut the grass. So you have got the idea – I have two more months to feel the Spring 🙂

It is a usual Sunday for me with little chores and lots of time for myself. I am hoping I would read a book. It has been a while… Time to continue that “A Clash of Kings” book by GRRM. Man, that book needs to be dealt with as soon as possible so that I can move on to the others in the series. The new season of the HBO’s Game of Thrones show  is set to start at the end of April – while like many of you I may not be able to watch it, you know I will read the comments and reviews on the net. It would be nice to progress with the book somehow until then.

Anyways, these are my random thoughts that occurred to me while writing this post. I hope you all are having a nice, warm Sunday full of lovely activities 🙂

plans for Spring

Change of season is a great reminder of the continuity of the change in our lives. While I cannot control every change in my life (like aging), I can make some changes in areas that I need.

1. Decluttering again. It has been a while since my last decluttering activity. while stretching my back muscles this evening I noticed all the books that I will probably never read again. I love them but it may as well be the time to depart our ways. I hope they will get enjoyed by someone else.

Books are of course just a start. I am sure I have accumulated one or three glass jars here or there; some old cleaning cloths somewhere around the house; some old socks and shorts/pants that wait to be retired. I am sure this decluttering will not be as extensive as the previous one (it was a major effort) so I hope one weekend I will just start and complete it. Not this coming weekend, but sometime..

2. Eating better and hopefully losing weight at the same time. This has been a continuous wish that has not occurred yet. why is it so hard to lose weight at middle age? I used to easily lose weight if I wanted to when I was young, but my two latest trials ended up with gaining weight. what is happening? what should I do differently?

I know limiting bread and other refined carbs (like bagels and pasta) helps to lose weight. I also know that fruits like apples or pears as well as raw chewy veggies like cucumber  and daikon help me to lose weight. There is something about raw food – I can guarantee you… So, my aim is to eat at least one apple or pear and one chewy veggie everyday. wish me luck 🙂

One of the best ways is to bring fruit to the office. I often need snacks anyhow; why not to eat fruits? Hmmm.

3. Time for new shirts. I have not shopped for shirts in the last one year or so. I have exhausted my current ones, except a couple of nice ones that are kind of tight now… If I lose weight, they will be lovely to wear. Should I wait or buy now? Okay – maybe two shirts can be purchased, why not?

4. New hair? I have been meaning to have a hair cut for sometime but so far I have not done this. The last time I have had it (around two months ago), the hair dresser did not shorten it much. So now I have shoulder length hair. While it is not bad, I always have liked short hair. I really hope I will find in me the motivation to go to the hair dresser this weekend and I will find a great hairdresser this time. I also need coloring, but I will do this as usual.

timeline:

1: a future weekend

2: starting tomorrow

3: this weekend?

4: this weekend?; I can have the hair cut at the shopping mall when I can also buy the shirts. So this is quite doable if i do go to the mall this weekend.

 

 

 

random thoughts

While last week felt too short (friday was off), this week feels like loooooong!

Seriously long.

It is “yesterday I thought it was Thursday” long. It is “today felt like 15 hours at the office” long. It is “Oh my, I have another day at the office long – I cannot believe this!” long.

Long. Long. Long 🙂

Anyways, kind of good too as we have been working very well this week – me and my start assistant. Today we worked 6 hours straight excluding the lunch break and we are very happy with the results. It feels awesome. I will also finish another task tomorrow, which has been on my to-do-list for 6 weeks. How about that? Awesome 🙂

We are entering a rather less busy-than-regular time (from fall to the end of April are the months that we have most meetings and presentations). This is almost done now so I can relax till next fall and focus on new tasks that can be taken care of, since I will have more time in my sleeve. Feeling excited about this.

On a separate note, weather is awesome, bright and shinny. Spring may or may not show its face sometime soon, though they expect lower than normal temperatures sometime soon. nevertheless, I am determined to feel cheerful whenever we have weather like today 🙂

have a great evening everyone! 🙂

 

nights

You know I love the night, way more than the day.

There is something so healing, so peaceful about silence, darkness, and lack of chatters and other people-related distractions (like phone, email etc). Nights are totally “my time”.

In the last one month or so, I started to have the habit of taking my laptop up to my bed and reading and relaxing there. This is quite unusual for me, but it was mostly motivated by the back problem I have had; sitting or lying in bed is easier on my back than sitting on the couch or the chair. At first I was not sure how I would feel about this, but now I am enjoying it very much.

I am often up till 12 pm or so, and even later at the weekends. I do not know whether it is the positive effects of my iron and vitamin D supplementation, but I am feeling less need to sleep (around 7.5 hours rather than 9 hours) and can easily wake up at around 7.30 – 8 am. I do not get up at that time, though. One of my long-time habit is to go back to sleep. I am usually up around 9 am. Then I go to the office. Usually takes me less than 30 min to get dressed, take the bus, and arrive there. I know I am lucky that my job has a flexible schedule and nobody says anything about me not being in the office before 9 am or after 4 pm. I am lucky (I told you I had a great job – it will be so difficult to leave this work).

Anyways, why did I start writing about nights now? I think because I was thinking the daylight savings ending (or starting?) this weekend. Does that mean we will have an extra hour of sleep or not? That I do not know, but I know that we will have more sunlight.

Yay for sunlight! Now, I love the nights but this does not mean I do not love to see the sun. I do. It gives me more energy and positive mood. Overall, sunlight is good for me, good for many people. I am so looking forward to it.

It also signals me that spring is about to come. Well, where I am we can expect snow till May but that is okay. I guess once March is over, the worst part of the winter will be over, too. When there is hope, there is excitement.

They expect a warmer than regular Spring this year. That would be really awesome. Four years ago or so we had a warmer summer here where people would get tans and overall looked happier than other summers. That was one great summer. Hope we can get a warmer than average spring and summer this year.

Hope we can all enjoy them.

Hope I can enjoy them.

season winter

poem

——————–

 

many springs passed since last time

green and alive

and many thoughts and tears

without care

hard to imagine when this will end

this winter.. this foggy air..

I am stuck with hunger;

dreams give temporary relief

telling the regular lie

we are together like a lovely couple

I look at your eyes and see the inner boy

a 10 years old with hope and joyful

no age matters, no gray, no hair

giggling and humming the tunes

we are walking down the harbour

like no one else exists, none matters

the sky is blue and it is warm

I see the river and the city behind

it is one dream I love

—————————————————–

All rights reserved.  © https://lifeasiinterpret.wordpress.com/

 

 

random thoughts

It was a bright day with a blue sky – kind of made me think about Spring. What a joy 🙂

I am enjoying my day; I got up not late, shopped and enjoyed it too, read a couple of finance books (more like scanned), and now watching TV and at the same time reading “A Clash of Kings”, the second book of GRRM’s A Song of Ice and Fire series. Yep; I am back to reading it and to my surprise it did not take me too long to remember where I was and who Yoren was. I am pleased with myself – nothing more annoying than feeling like you gotta re-read the entire book from the beginning on.

In the shopping mall, there were sales and I contemplated about buying some gifts for the holiday season. I do not buy or give a lot of gifts during the holidays; only for three people; two of them are my friends and my neighbours, who are good people and reliable neighbours. Eventually I decided it was too early and did not buy anything. Hope I will not regret this decision as I hardly like anything, I would like to give gifts that I like, and I had liked two items today. Anyways…

My back is better but still annoyed. I am keeping up with the exercises I was given to practice every day. They actually help me to feel better. My problem is that I do not like my physiotherapist that much….. She is nice but I wished she had explained me things better before she applies. With such negative feelings, I am not sure how well I am benefiting from my sessions. I guess I must have the benefit of doubt and trust that she knows what she is doing, and as such, eventually visiting her would benefit my back.

I am invited for a dinner tomorrow. I am happy to visit these people, but they made me kind of annoyed as they seem to have specific preferences for everything. And I mean everything. From the food to this to that. I am annoyed by their opinions on everything and honestly each time I struggle with the idea of what to bring to their home. This time I decided I can bake a frozen pie. This is a deviation from other occasions when I almost always brought some nice drinks or cook myself. Well, I am not going to do that anymore. Baking a frozen pie will not take much of a time and if they do not like it, I may as well eat it myself.

The people who are opinionated about many things or vocal about their preferences put me in such annoyed state. I myself have never made a negative comment about what my guests have brought to my place. Never. Not because I am extremely kind or something (so I refrain from making a negative comment). No, it is because it does not matter at all. All is welcome at my place and I appreciate the time and effort my guest put to bring them to our gathering. Whatever they may have chosen to do so.

Tomorrow, another friend of mine is also coming to the dinner and I love her more than any other friend of mine here. I have been to their places, once even with a pie that was hot, not solidified enough, and shaken in the cab and thus turned into a “soup”, yet all they have done was to laugh with me and my joke of “here I made you a soup” and eagerly eat it. I love such people who are easy and welcoming whatever the shape or the value or the brand or the type of whatever treat you bring to their home.

Now that I ranted a little bit and emptied the pressure in me, I may go and continue reading the book 🙂

Have a great Saturday night everyone 🙂

 

walking is a joy!

Walking is the best exercise that I can integrate into my life; it is free, it has no time limit, it does not require gym membership or special clothes, it is relatively safe, and very enjoyable if you can also take time to look around, especially in these beautiful Spring days.

I was an avid walker, until I moved to my current city. Day or night whenever I felt like bored or down, I walked. I walked for hours, sometime more than once a day. I walked to the work, I walked to the shopping centres, and I walked to everywhere I can think about. That is the nice thing about living in downtown, which makes it safe and also practical during winter (snow clearance is usually a lot better).

At my current city, the situation is a little bit different. Walking during winter is usually is not fun but I try; during the winter months, I am keen about walking in the afternoons, rain, snow, or shine from work to home. Unless it gets icy or if there is a storm outside. This year I have done it really well and I am very pleased with myself. It is not easy to walk whenever I would like to though due to the ice and snow banks that stay on the ground/street for quite sometime. A nice pair of water and skid-resistant boots made my life easy during the winter.

But I must says it is the Spring that brings the joy of walking. The heavy winter coats are gone, it is warm and dry, and there is so many nice houses, yards, and gardens to see along the way. The energy is amazing and makes me want to walk more. I would like to walk in the afternoons and the weekends as much as I can. There are I am sure nice paths, nice streets that I can explore to make this an unboring activity- walking along the same way and seeing the same things over and over again is not very interesting to me. So, let’s start exploring. Maybe I can also take my camera with me to make it a more interesting experience.

breaking the routine – May 25, 2015

Being energized by the good weather and wishing to spend more time outdoors, I took a longer route to walk this afternoon. One part of the path goes thru a little park, there are new houses built at one junction with colourful sidings, and there is a thrifty store and a Shoppers store along the way. That is certainly a great route 🙂

random thoughts

I cannot remember when it was the last time I had enjoyed the Spring and the warm, sunny day as much as I do this year.

It was probably last year 🙂 but anyways seriously this wonderful weather is so energizing, so, I do not know, fantastic!

As one of the challenges I assigned to myself, I wanted to walk this morning. I walked to a store 20 min away to get some stuff, to see a different route, and to give my mind a break from the routine. Although it is a windy day, I enjoyed walking faster than usual and getting some warming sensation in my body. The bear who is waking up from the hibernation state should be feeling something like this 🙂

And it was not enough; I threw myself out for an additional 20min walk in the afternoon. I enjoyed eating some chocolate covered-biscuit on the way, looking at the houses, getting sunshine on my face, and enjoying my walk overall. Amazing, amazing, amazing.

The three young trees in my yard, which surprised me with their healthy and sudden bloom lately, continue to make me fell fascinated and interestingly also loving; I love looking at them, connecting with their little branches and their little delicate leaves, and feeling excited and amazed by their presence.

One of the nice things about the wind is the whooshy sound the trees make; it is beautifully calming; all I want to do is to find a chair to place on the deck to spend more time outside. Read a book, drink a cup of tea, or just be.

random thoughts

It is a beautiful bright and warm day. Could not ask for more of weather. Is it not awesome that the weather has such a positive effect?

Kind of a regular Saturday for me – the routine is the same; getting up, getting breakfast and doing light work at the favourite cafe, cleaning and aerating the house, and doing laundry. these may be routine, but they feel great nevertheless; the ability to waking up, the ability to buy myself breakfast, the ability and motivation to do work at the weekend, the great feeling after seeing my home cleaned and organized. Routine or not, many things to be grateful for.

One change I have made today was to switch to my recliner – time to give a break to the couch. The good thing: where I sit now, I am capable of hooking my sound system and listen to the music thru my computer. That is great. A couple of days ago my next door neighbours were having a barbecue party and they were listening to nice, upbeat music. I enjoyed listening to it and now I can do that myself.

have a great, shiny, and happy Saturday everyone.

joy journal – May 22, 2015

1. I am grateful for reading a post about gratefulness. It immediately lifted my mood 🙂

2. I am grateful for sleeping soundly and getting up easily this morning. I was energized and rested. That is, to me, a great feeling.

3. I am grateful for eating two apples today. I noticed that when I eat sliced apple, my chances of liking it is higher. No idea what causes this perception, but just to keep eating this healthy and hearty fruit, I will keep doing what works. By the way am I the only person noticing better digestion due to apple? Interesting…

4. I am grateful for shopping this afternoon. There were many fresh produce, all looking colourful and delicious. I am grateful for the vine tomato for smelling so good, the hot pepper for being so delicious, for zucchini being so plum, the canned lentils, beans, and corns being affordable and ready to consume.

5. I am grateful for walking back from the office. Today is the first day that it felt really like spring and thus I switched to my spring coat. No more winter coat! 🙂 I am so excited about this. I have so many different and nice coats/jackets that I would like to wear now. I feel abundant and i love the change 🙂

6. I am grateful for leaving my office early day and working at home. I did light work only; my next week schedule is pretty light, which excites and relaxes me.

7. I am grateful for telling to the interviewee this morning right away that I would not be interested in hiring him. I usually would like to be positive but this person was really not ready for an interview and did not have a professional attitude. Case closed. I will focus on other applicants now. Amazing how the info on the paper and the person in reality can be so different.

8. I am grateful for spending time at my yard in the morning and the evening. Just for a few minutes, just to look at the life forms in it, to see whether any of my seeds came to life. Nothing yet, but tomorrow is another day – who knows what will happen? Hope is the best remedy 🙂

9. I am grateful for getting an okay and support for an event I would like to organize within our unit. My boss is supportive and contacted admins to make sure they were okay with it. I have drafted a document to circulate to some of my colleagues who were interested in giving me a hand with it. Together we can move this idea and have a wonderful event.

10. I am grateful for three small trees in my yard. Last year they were small; this year I decided to remove them, but could not – one of them turned out to be quite difficult to get out, so I left them alone. This morning I noticed that they started to bloom and they look so healthy, so alive, so awesome! Seriously! 🙂 I have no idea which kind of trees they are but I am grateful they are in my yard and thriving in it!

11. I am grateful for the relaxing Friday night. I have two weekend days to enjoy without going to work. I can walk, I can shop, I can have breakfast, I can clean and declutter my home, and I can just relax reading and contemplating.

12. I am grateful for chatting on the phone with one of my colleagues in another city. We have known each other for more than a decade and have been collaborating about several projects. It is awesome that we can both talk seriously about the work and then have friendly conversations and laughters.

13. I am grateful for thinking about cancelling the cable and subscribing to netflix instead. Not sure whether it is possible to stream with my old TV, but a phone conversation can answer that question.

14. I am grateful for all the pens, papers, notebooks, and other stationary items I have. I love, love, love them. Buying them, seeing them, and using them. Writing and reading are so integral to my life-style anything that propels and helps them is appreciated.

15. I am grateful for being abundant, safe, sound, and healthy. I am grateful for all the furniture, items, clothes and shoes I have that make my life easy and going. I am grateful for all the cleaning products and other regularly used-up items which I have stocked up and available for use when needed.

16. I am grateful that I kept up with some of the challenges today; I drank a fabulous cup of tea at the office today; enjoyed looking at the yard and trees several times; ate relatively healthy, and walked for 30 min on a beautiful day.

17. I am grateful for being grateful and expressing it.

joy journal – May 16, 2015

Here are the events, feelings, activities, and realizations that gave me a chance to be excited, happy, or positive.

1. I am grateful for its being Saturday. Although I want to work and finish tasks, I appreciate the freedom to do whatever I want or need.

2. I am grateful for meeting with a friend of mine at my favourite cafe today. We had breakfast together, chat, and looked at her pictures from a recent vacation in a beautiful city. It was a great change for me and I liked being social :).

3. I am grateful for cleaning my home today. Saturdays are usually the cleaning and laundry day for me. I 90% of the times keep this habit. I am glad that it was not difficult to do it at all.

4. I am grateful for aerating my home. It is truly a spring day, so nice and warm. I like opening the windows and letting fresh air in. It gives me a sense of being in a “healthy” home.

5. I am grateful for working at the yard, getting exposed to sunlight, breathing in fresh air, and exercising my body. My yard looks better than yesterday and I am getting more and more interested in doing better.

6. I am grateful for the seeds of herbs and plants that over the year I had bought and accumulated. The day to plant them finally arrived! Tomorrow I hope to plant some flower seeds. I need to choose excellent places for them so that once planted and grow, they always can stay where they are.

7. I am grateful for taking three pots out on the deck. One of them has a variety of flowers that are originally designed indoors. I am not sure whether I should plant them on the yard, but I guess it is better to try that. Other two; I had planted herbs in them but they never excelled indoors. I am hoping they will thrive outdoors. If not I am not losing anything 🙂

8. I am grateful for cooking and eating a healthy meal for dinner.

9. I am grateful for being excited about the spring, nature, and warm weather – who would not? 🙂 I notice that the awakening of the nature has a positive effect on me as it gives hope. Hope that dark days will be followed by bright ones, hope that whatever is challenging us will cease to be so. Spring is truly the season of hope.

10. I am grateful for having the evening to myself. I enjoy reading blogs and getting inspired by them. I also like watching TV and having my books next to me; when the time comes, I will read and enjoy them.

11. I am grateful for continuing to be a conscious spender.

12. I am grateful for being excited about new ideas, new hobbies, and taking the time to read and learn about them. For example gardening and conscious spending are my two recent interests. Those who post about them here; you all are awesome!

13. I am grateful for not being able to find one of my garden cutters. I cannot find it at home. No idea where it is. Yet, while looking for it, I had a chance to see what else I have had and I am happy to see how much stuff I actually own (all useful).

14. I am grateful for replacing the soap with a new one; it smells so nice that I felt blessed. Small things can have profound positive effects on me. A $2 soap making this effect is amazing.

15. I am grateful for dumping some extra stuff from my bathroom. I am thinking about de-cluttering again and I started with the easiest place – the bathrooms. I do not have a lot of stuff in bathrooms, which helps me to identify and dump un-useful, unused, or old stuff. The rest of the house then can follow. My biggest concern will be the storage cabinet, which is full of old paperwork. I am not sure whether I am doing good keeping them or not? I will see.

16. I am grateful for being grateful and excited about today.

stay well everybody

random thoughts

What a beautiful shiny, and warm day. Today feels like a spring – that is for sure 🙂

Since I was at home since noon, I decided to go to the bank, take care of a transfer I was supposed to do for some time, drank coffee and had a sandwich, and visited my favourite second hand book store. Bought two books I am interested in reading (well I had planned not to buy any books for two months, but today I did well taking care of many things, so I am pampering myself).

When I came back home, it was past 3pm, still early for me to resume daily relaxing routine. So I started working in the yard; I am primarily collecting the debris that do not serve the yard anymore. I have got two big disposal bags filled for now, and I expect another one when I am done, hopefully tomorrow.

I decided to get rid of whatever does not look natural – that includes some ropes and wires left by the previous owners. I also am digging a high part of the yard and trying to even it a little bit and remove the grass. I plan to plant flowers and other stuff in that area. It can look beautiful and and certainly more fresh, more my own.

I have seen a couple of yellow flowers in my yard, which I had not seen last year. They are very delicate,  so nice, so awesome. They reminded me that there is life in my yard and winter I hope is finally over. Nature is amazing in a lot of ways.

I hope to continue tomorrow to make the yard look a little bit better, cleaner, and my own. Considering I show interest in yard-work for the first time, I think I will eventually have a lovely place.

random thoughts

A beautiful, warm spring day; it has been the warmest day so far – around 13 C. Cannot complain 🙂

I attended a meeting in the morning, where there were all bunch of muffins, pastries, and fruits as snacks. Why did I eat so much of pastry? That I am complaining about. I am going to attend another full-day meeting on wednesday, where I similarly expect to eat unhealthy food. Why I wanna ask myself, why? 🙂

On the other hand, I appreciated the nice pen and notebook that came with the meeting. And the coffee and tea. At least they are not unhealthy.

I am always perplexed with the choice of snacks at meetings and presentations. Is it because they are easy to acquire and cheap that they end up at the tables and then in our mouth and stomach? This last part is nobody else’s fault though, I have no will-power to stop eating these food. Convenience is the key igniter for my unhealthy diet. time to stop this – seriously. Where am I going with this life-style?

I walked back from the office, which made me sweat due to the warm weather. It made me feel good. I had a relatively healthier dinner (potato salad to be exact), if it is considered healthy (too much starch…). Oh well. I really have a lot to fix in my life.

My life is waiting – when am I going to take the steps to change for a better, more fulfilling and healthy-feeling life?

Sometime soon. Yes, soon.

random thoughts

Woke up early today; before 9 am (it is early for me 🙂 ).

When I get up early the day becomes long; which is awesome. I find time and energy to do more stuff.

I had breakfast and then worked a couple of hours at my favourite cafe. The weather is nice today; warm and a little bit blue sky. I did some light yard work, where I planted some flowers and also started to collect old leaves and others for disposal. I enjoyed working at the yard, even though I am not used to it. Trees are still trying to recuperate from the winter, but I do see some grass coming up. At the end of this month, I expect everywhere to be green. Very nice scenery.

It is just afternoon and I only need to finish two loads of laundry before I can leave my home for shopping. It is going to be a late afternoon visit to the mall. I am okay with that. Although I enjoy spending time at home, I do not want to start relaxing too early during the day. This somehow lessens the “feel good” feeling that relaxing at home brings to me. Too much of anything is boring. That is why even though I do not need to purchase a lot of stuff, I decided it is best that I spend some time out of the house.

One can argue of course whether or not the shopping malls are the only places to pass time. I hear you. I like being at parks as well – there is one 15 minutes away from me. I have not visited it for two years or so, but I sure can do that. I like the trees, the sound of wind going thru their leaves, that “whoosh” sound they make. Peaceful that makes me.

My windows are open to let the fresh air go into my house. I love, love, love good weather 🙂

joy journal – April 14, 2015

Here are the things I am excited, happy, or content about today 🙂

1. I am grateful for walking back from office to home – 30 min of walk. It is relaxing and good for my body. Well done 🙂

2. I am grateful for working with little or no stress today. Things are moving smoothly, though I will start working heavily again sometime soon.

3. I am grateful for eating some fruits at noon when I attended a presentation.

4. I am grateful for having a warm and bright day.

5. I am grateful about breaking my routine and working at my favourite cafe this afternoon. The waitress is a nice young lady; we chat each time (usually at the weekends). I was happy to chat with her (talking about coffee and weather, what else? 🙂 ). She asked me how long I have been here and whether I got used to the weather. yes, I have gotten used to the weather, but it took me a couple of years…. 🙂

6. I am grateful that there was still bagels at the cafe so I could get them this afternoon as well. Sometimes they run out of them, as these bagels are really nice and many people consume them.

7. I am grateful for taking the evening and the night easy, browsing the net and reading. Life is good when the mind is occupied by lovely things.

8. I am grateful for my food. I have not necessarily eaten ultra healthy today, but every once a while should be okay.

9. I am grateful for switching to walking shoes. I do not think I need to wear my winter boots again. I have lovely shoes, comfortable, too, which will be awesome to walk in.

10. I am grateful for being healthy, safe, and sound.

11. I am grateful for feeling better today, compared to yesterday.

12. I am grateful for combing my hair in the morning. How come I get so lazy I have no idea. My hair is long now and I can have a nice hair cut sometime to refresh my look.

13. I am grateful for the nice and chatty cab driver in the morning. He is not one of the regular drivers that give me ride in the morning. he was nice and excited about the beautiful day. Happy people’s attitude is infectious. What other way to start a day than such positive experiences?

14. I am grateful for sitting at my couch, rather than my recliner. There is something cozy and healing about this couch… It makes me feel pampered and relaxing. That is very interesting considering that it is just a couch…. Whatever that is, I will take it. feeling good is priceless.

15. I am grateful for continuing to clean my office and boxing some stuff. I cannot wait till next wednesday to finally say goodbye to my current office and move into my new office. Bright, clean, new office with a window. New furniture and environment. feeling good :0

16. I am grateful for meeting with a nice colleague of mine today. Having a chat felt good and his work is really interesting. We hope to recruit him to our department.

17. I am grateful for not getting a negative news today.

18. I am grateful for being hopeful about the spring and the summer. I am grateful for the hope that finally I will be able to feel the breeze on my skin. I am grateful that I will be able to go to the parks and listen to the trees as the wind goes through their leaves, making that beautiful and relaxing wooosh sound. I sometimes would like to think that trees can actually know a lot… strange but that is what it is 🙂

19. I am grateful for easily feeling grateful today 🙂

I am excited for ending the season of hibernation soon

The idea of spring excites me.

No doubt.

I can wear different, lighter coats. I love my winter coat- I bought it 7 years ago and since then it has been the only one I have been wearing. It is not particularly good looking, but it is water-proof, has a hood, inside is covered with feather-like stuff so it keeps warm, and it is long enough to keep my knees protected.

I think the winter is so long here, I kinda get used to wear the same stuff over and over. Then, when the weather warms up a little bit, I realize I have other clothes/coats/shoes that I can wear… Change excites me.

Clothes and shoes are not the only ones that I can change. I am feeing like I can walk for longer hours, maybe even in the morning (from home to the office). I think that is a great idea, considering that it takes around 30 min to do so. The health benefits (for my mind and for my body) are considerable. Plus, I get to save money. Why not to give this a try?

I may as well walk at the weekends. There are really nice neighbourhoods in the close vicinity and shopping centers. It will feel awesome to walk and break some sweat.

I am excited for ending the season of hibernation soon.

Hope, I find, is the best remedy for the long winters.

today felt like spring

Today felt like spring – it was warm (around 10 0C), bright, and shiny.

The first thing a lot of people I talked to today mentioned was what a lovely day it was; people are happier, positive, and more hopeful. Well deserved!

In the afternoon, I changed my winter coat with the spring coat while going out. I have also changed my winter boots with my walking shoes. it is a great feeling 🙂 More and more changes for me, how nice!

They expect some rain tonite or tomorrow, which we all hope will wash away the snow banks that now turned into grey colour due to dirt that kept sticking to them over the months. On Friday we will be back to chilly weather (around – 10 0C)….

I have been here for 6-7 years now and I know April and May are usually tricky months. You kinda see the nice weather one minute and then fall into thinking that the winter is over and it is all gonna be spring, warm and shiny. Then the next moment, the winter is back, and this continues almost till the end of May.

At first I was very frustrated by this ever-changing climate during so-called spring months. Now, I am more knowledgeable and do not hope that winter is over yet. I found that this is the best way to protect my sanity 🙂